Sharing Love World Tour

A Course in Miracles Song: It's Only Me

2012-01-04T20:41:00.000-06:00

The spiritual journey guides us inward and inward toward a final recognition... an Experience of Awakening to our Divine Nature as the Holy Child of God, first by having us recognize that we've been a slave to our own dream of separation, and then by having us learn to take responsibility for our own state of mind... realizing that everyone and everything that appears to be external to us is actually a projection of our OWN mind's wish to remain separate. Therefore, I wrote (was Given, rather) this song a while back as a means of expressing these ideas as clearly as possible; reinforcing and maintaining awareness of the fact that no matter who or what I THINK is the cause of my experience... it's only me!

May this song be an inspiring reminder to you that healing is truly possible through the willingness to take 100% responsibility for our state of mind.

With Peace and Love...
Erik

P.S. Scroll further down if you want to see the lyrics.

It's Only Me

Everyone that I see… and everything I perceive… is me.
And now I’m Free.
And anytime that I believe... that somebody else is the cause of my grief...
I need... to stop and see I am deceived.

Cause it’s only me.   I am the dreamer of this dream.
I've just gotta learn to see... it’s only me.
And when I’m afraid, it’s only of thoughts that I have made.
There’s no one outside to blame… it’s only me. And I am Free!

Everything that I perceive… are the projections of my false memory.
There’s no need to ever take any of it seriously. :-)
Cause all that’s ever seemed to be of time was just a foolish, fictional storyline.
But I’m learning that it never really happened... except in my mind!

Cause it’s only me.   I am the dreamer of this dream.
I just gotta learn to see... it’s only me!
And when I’m afraid, it’s only of thoughts that I have made.
There’s no one outside to blame… it’s only me. And I am Free.
Free... in the Innocence that I see!

And everyone that I see… is just a part of myself who longs to be free…
and I know in my heart, yes I know in my heart we can be!
Cause nothing’s in the way… except an insane thought that says I’m full of shame. But forgiving You is showing me the Innocence in me. And I'm Free!
I'm Free… in the Innocence I see!

Yes, I’m free to love and I’m free to shine, I’m free to share this Peace of Mind!
'Cause I’m one with you and you’re one with me and we share same Soul eternally!
But I fell asleep and I dreamed this dream and now I’ve got to take responsibility…
finally!

Cause it’s only me!   I am the dreamer of this dream.
I just gotta learn to see... it’s only me.
And when I’m afraid, it’s only of thoughts that I have made.
There’s no one outside to blame… it’s only me. And I am Free!

Free… in the Innocence… I see…

Cause everyone that I see… and everything I perceive… is me.
And I am...
I Am..
I Am Free.
:-)

Undoing the Belief in Linear Time

2012-01-03T23:45:00.000-06:00

This has got to be the deepest and yet clearest talk on spiritual truth that's available on the planet. It blows my mind WIDE OPEN every time I watch it and take in the ideas deeper and deeper...

Enjoy!

Dear Prudence (one of my favorite Beatles songs)

2012-01-03T16:14:00.001-06:00

The Beatles wrote MANY remarkable and inspired songs, but this one always stood out for me as such a loving and gentle wake up call to the listener... "Come out to play! Open up your eyes! Let me see you smile! You are part of EVERYTHING!" Ahhh... may we all heed its words by letting our mind sink into our Heart and let It guide us throughout all of our days and in all of our ways. It doesn't always seem easy... but it is truly ALWAYS quite simple. It requires nothing more than that we honor our own heart above ALL ELSE, trusting that what's in our own heart's best interest, is ALWAYS in the best interests of EVERY heart... for it is a living Fact that we are all One... We share one Heart, one Mind, and one Spirit. And when we choose to trust in our own heart, we are trusting in the One Heart that we all share, and so it is a gift, quite literally, for everyone!

So practice honoring your heart above ALL ELSE, trusting that your mind does not know your own best interests, but that your heart DOES! You are a precious one, and the choices you make in honor of your Heart go out like a ripple to subconsciously affect EVERYONE to honor their own Heart as well. I am grateful to you always for these wise choices you make, and know that you cannot fail in reaching the ultimate Goal of awakening to Reality, for it is quite literally... inevitable.

Love and Blessings to you all forever!
Erik

A "Tear-Jerker"!

2012-01-03T14:37:00.000-06:00

I was bawling my eyes out throughout this entire video! There is something so DEEPLY touching about people beginning - for the first time perhaps - to give themselves permission to share what's on their heart without holding back. Especially in China, where the society is so repressed that the government even censors the internet! In this video, David Hoffmeister holds a nonjudgmental space for people to open up their heart and share with him their deepest private thoughts, secret desires, hidden shameful memories... as a way of releasing them once and for all. Divine Innocence is then remembered in the hugs and laughter that follow!
Thank you David, for being such a powerful demonstration of Divine Love and Forgiveness in this world! I love you forever...

A Love Song from Jesus...

2012-01-03T01:38:00.000-06:00

Sometimes words just can't do It justice...

2012-01-02T20:02:00.002-06:00

I can feel Your Love shine, shine, shine!

2012-01-02T03:51:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T07:49:00.000-06:00

With Armelle off in Utah right now, and my parents gone to a party, I had a nice quiet house all to myself to celebrate the New Year in my own perfect way... in meditation. :-)

And I happened to record a video as well...

Merry Birth of Christ

2011-12-29T16:03:00.001-06:00

softness
kindness
wordlessness
such a deep silence
keeps calling and calling
taking over any activity
leaving nothing to hold onto
falling over and over again
in a bottomless ocean of love
in the abyss of being
an emptiness so appealing
I keeps dying and dying
surrendering over and over again
no resistance to anything
only free falling
one certainty...
not knowing!

this... the Eternal
this... the ocean of Bliss
This... as it is
this... only this...
this...

Merry birth of Christ

Armelle

What is Here... always...

2011-12-22T14:13:00.000-06:00

Here's a recording of a spontaneous paltalk about what's always Here, and looking at thoughts and experiences... Enjoy!

What is Here, always. Paltak 22dec11

Lots of love
Armelle

Love Is!

2011-12-17T19:58:00.000-06:00

Love is...
Love is all there is, all there has ever been... Even what seems to be an experience of lack of love or hatrid or attack, it is still Love "in action", Love seeing this, experiencing this, allowing this to be exactly as it is...
This is Forgiveness... cutting through all thoughts of judgements of what appears to be and seeing that only Love remains...
Only Love Is!

Love!
Armelle

The impossibility of Judgement!

2011-12-17T19:56:00.001-06:00

wooow, it is impossible to judge anything or anyone, for there was never anyone doing anything,
nor anything that happened wrongly...
It is, has always been only the play of existence!
Nothing has ever been out of place!!!!! No one has ever been guilty...
There is nowhere to land... judgement is IMPOSSIBLE!
Eternal Pure and Perfect Innocence Is all there Is!

Celebration of Love and Freedom ;-)

Armelle

Pull to express... lifting of the veil...

2011-12-15T19:11:00.000-06:00

wow, there is such a strong pull to express, extend, share what's unfolding here.... it's sooo amazing!!!! it's deeper and deeper and the veil of illusion is lifted over and over again... in the profound humility of not knowing anything and feeling this absolute, divine "stupidity" (I love that!!! ) everything keeps revealing itself, words come, insights... doors that were thought closed are seen open, fears leave as snow melts in the warmth... and Love, Love... wow what an incredible Love.... it is...

I called my parents, felt extending. and shared all that's unfolding here... joy, happiness for no reason, deep peace, trust that life totally takes care of 'me', how deeply I know they've always been loving me and that there was never anything but that, all what I could have told them was just coming from my interpretation, a story I was telling myself, never true, never happened... and it was amazing!!!! My father was such a pure reflection of my mind.... he was laughing as listening to me, and then he said " you are not the one we knew, what a change!!!! it's great, I'm sooo happy...." it was amazing! Same with my mother, we talked about intuition and no separation, that the Spirit is always alive even if there is death of the body!!!! oh God... wooooooow

Armelle thought she needed to be intelligent, say or share intelligent things, writing a certain way, making sure everything is true, acurate, perfectly non-dual or Course, saying the "right thing", wow what a joke!!!!!!!!! Then it's seen that there was still a subtle desire to get approval, being recognized, looking for recognition outside, to 'be a teacher', and therefore afraid... wouuu the mask is seen, separation caught... pfff vanished!!! And then, it is seen that words are just words, none is the Truth, they are pointers, only pointers (like don't take the finger for the moon!) and pwow ... Freedom again... deeper... gates are open, the flood is coming...

it is sooo amazing!!!!!

It doesn't stop... and it seems that the silent time is shifting into expression!!!!!

Love You!!!!

Armelle

Fear of death - Fear of Life (God, Truth...)

2011-12-15T18:08:00.001-06:00

As long as there is a fear of death, there will be fear of Life (Love, Truth, God...)... for living would mean taking the risk of dying at any moment... living meaning then that there is a separate individual that lives life. So, from the perspective of a separate individual, we spend our whole life as a living-dead as a way to avoid death... but death is inevitable! so why not 'dying' Now to the one we think we are and discover that there is no death...that Spirit is immortal! That there is only Life, Love, God, This...

Who's the teacher?

2011-12-15T18:05:00.006-06:00

The teacher is not a specific person or role that is played by a specific person... it's in the eyes of the one who looks... Everything and everyone, in each and every moment is the teacher!!!! It's always an invitation to see ....

Don't look outside yourself....

2011-12-15T18:05:00.005-06:00

There is nothing to be found outside yourself... It's already here. All the answers are here! Just look, question! All that seems to happen can be used as a doorway to go inward, deeper...to bring you back Here and discover what's always been, what is... unveiling the illusion to recognize the Truth...

Armelle

Mysticism: Transitioning to abstract Oneness (David Hoffmeister and sharing from Armelle)

2011-12-14T01:41:00.001-06:00

In AwakeningInChrist@ yahoogroups. com, "David" wrote:
>
> The mystical transition happens prior to mystical Oneness. Resurrection is when Christ is recognized. This is the completion called the mystical State, the gateway to Eternity. No longer is there a person, for Spirit is forever One with God.
>
> Before the mystical Union is the gift of contemplation. It is the INVITATION to this higher life to be unfolded. This gift is like a trumpet call, which begins the FINAL JOURNEY to God.
>
> Forgiveness points the way. It should be defined here what it is. It is the ability to Perceive wholeness at once:
>
> THE SUBJECT CEASES TO PERCEIVE HIMSELF IN THE MULTIPLICITY AND DIVISION OF HIS GENERAL CONSCIOUSNESS. HE IS RAISED ABOVE HIMSELF. A PURE THOUGHT SUBSTITUTES ITSELF FOR THE NORMAL SELF. IN THIS STATE, IN WHICH CONSCIOUSNESS OF I-HOOD AND CONSCIOUSNESS OF THE WORLD DISAPPEAR, THE MYSTIC IS CONSCIOUS OF BEING IN IMMEDIATE RELATION with GOD.
>
> One sees instantly that the only way one could remove the taint was to still the mind and release all attachments with people. It is at the point of PEOPLE - wanting their love, wanting involvement, that one falls short. It is always applause, recognition on an earthly level, that trips one up. Stillness is the way.
>
> WITHDRAWAL from the thinking of the world is the only answer. Distraction from God saps your energy, confuses and distorts awareness.
>
> You can do more by PRAYING than by talking. The Lord will say "drop everything and forget all."
>
> What you DO want to do is to be open to the eternal realm of God; to think about Truths and to receive impressions from the Divine Mind. It isn't any use to tell the mystic not to focus on those things; for this was the mystic born, for this the mystic is talented. You might as well tell someone like Mozart not to compose music.
>
> The state of mystical life is a type of COCOON. It is an atmosphere, a world wherein the mystic soars. It is NOT a delusional world, but it is intuned to another dimension - Higher. In this mystical cocoon you are developing, but in another way than the typical life. You are learning to use faculties that have previously been dormant or inactive, or you are learning to use full force those talents you already used in part.
>
> When you enter the cocoon you release all about you. The world of time and space and people and friends and relatives fades into the background of consciousness and disappears. You live in the Heart of God.

From David Hoffmeister

RE:

oh David Thank You sooo much for writing this....

Yesterday I felt writing you several times and expressing what's unfolding here, but no words came... It's like there's a pull from That to express Itself and no words to put it, no words to describe what's going on...
Since we talked the other day, the Stillness is even deeper, it's a Pure Delight. Questions, thoughts arise and as looked at, they are seen for what they are, distraction. It makes no sense at all for the ego, for the mind to not pay attention to them, to not believe them, to not give power to them, to not search for answer... and it totally feels that those answers are only in the Stillness! For there, everything just vanishes, and nothing, absolutely nothing is needed!
Fear arises and is felt, allowed, met and it disappears. Sometimes it seems like the body is shaking, and in this total allowance, there is bliss. Fear, the word, is left, and there is just the experience of an energy and an openess to it.

It seems that memory is going too. It's difficult to put into words, but it feels like there is no past anymore. Actually there hasn't been any past, it feels. There isn't any certainty that yesterday was, that the image in the mind that says: "Yes there was a yesterday!!" seems empty, meaningless. Why bother when Everything is Here, Now! It seems that some images come, but there are more a story, than 'my' story, and always a potential to go even deeper, to deepen into What Is and forgive all the images.

It feels that the body is moving, doing its things, and I watch. I can see some stronger grip of identification, but they are seen, and don't have that much power. It feels like Life is happening in me. I am not the doer of This.

There is no need for anything to be different for everything is absolutely as it is supposed to be. There is no need to know what's next for Now, is all there is, full and complete with Being. There's a feeling that maybe there will never be any inspiration anymore for anything because This is so full that nothing else is needed! Or maybe is it that it wasn't true Inspiration in past experiences and that there was always a desire to get something out of everything and that gone, there is room for only True Inspiration.

There's a feeling of beginning, that everything is fresh and new. And a feeling that everything as this character knew it is ending.

There is little words coming from this mouth, for mostly, there is nothing to say. Just This is more than enough. Even when there seems to be others, it feels that all the energy here is inward, there is no interest about what's going on on the screen, so often it seems like not hearing what is said or talked about if it's not specifically addressed to me. Before that could happen, but it was more of a doing, now.... it is! and therefore totally effortless!

It's like this could go on forever, and in the same time like no words will be able to convert fully This. But This is beyond words...

I am so so so grateful for Everything.. .
Love You Forever!
Armelle

Say YES to your Self! Using the Holiday season to undo people-pleasing.

2011-12-11T14:13:00.000-06:00

I've been miraculously invited to talk on Paltalk last Saturday! I love how things happen! It's so great to see that Life has plan that will unfold with or without 'my' consent! This is Joy! Freedom!

Enjoy the talk...
And remember that everything, everyone at a deeper level, always collaborates for revealing what's blocking the awareness of the Truth, the Love that we are...

Have the courage to break the pattern! Listen to your Heart, to the Spirit! And allow whatever arises from that to be... exactly as it it, meet whatever has been repressed or covered by acting a certain way... And in the meeting of those feelings, discover what is always Here!

Say YES to your Self. Using the Holiday season to undo people-pleasing, paltalk.

Lots of love
Armelle

What is Love?

2011-12-06T00:03:00.001-06:00

Yesterday before sleeping, I asked "what is Love?"

First came an experience, then I heard... "... the blooming of everything exactly as it is..."

Love You!

Armelle

Just This...

2011-11-30T16:31:00.001-06:00

Purity, Simplicity... Silence...

Listen...

Silence...

Love is full and empty

Transparent and multi-color

Everything and nothing

And nothing happens... only This

A drop of water on a branche

... nothing

"Flop"

Falling on the ground

Listen...

Silence

Your heart beat

Look...

Beauty without form

The Mystery!

Love is everywhere... And You?

Where are You? Who are You?

Trusting You

2011-10-18T13:37:00.001-05:00

Here's a video taken of us singing our song "Trusting You". This video was taken several weeks ago in California at a gathering with David Hoffmeister. Our friend Jason Press played the keyboards. Enjoy!

Series of concerts: "Walk with the Spirit"

2011-09-29T15:33:00.001-05:00

I am sooooo happy to share what has come to us as we are resting along a lake in Hanover, ON...

Last Saturday was our first concert "Walk with the Spirit" at the retreat at Lloyd's in Kirkfield where we shared almost all our songs and our path through them... And today we feel that it was just the beginning.... we feel guided to offer this concert over and over again wherever we are invited to, wherever there is a Call to go deeper in the mind and step into Trust that everything is always given, and every prayer always answered!

Thank You Spirit, God, Life, Everyone....
It is soooo amazing to watch what's given!!!!!

Joy Joy JOy...
So if you are interested or inspired by a "Walk with the Spirit" concert, contact me or Erik... wherever you are, we will be happy to answer the Call...

Lots of love... Armelle

P.S. Enjoy the following short video clip that our friend Jason took of us at our recent concert...

Open to Wherever the Calling of our Heart wants to lead us...

2011-09-21T15:14:00.002-05:00

With our cross-Canada adventure winding down soon, Armelle and I are opening ourselves wide open to invitations to any part of the world where there may be a strong Calling for greater depth in terms of practical application of Course principles. After a period of deep inner healing these past few weeks, it feels like the next step for us now will be a mixture of more travel and sharing of our music... as well as some quiet time to for prayer, meditation, and Spirit-guided projects. We're completely open to going wherever in the world we are Called, therefore, I wanted to make this post to put the word out there that we are totally available for invitations from anyone who feels a strong inspiration to join with us!

When we joined with David (Hoffmeister) recently about what he felt might be our next step, Ireland came to his mind, and so we are certainly open to any strong invitations to travel there. Armelle has also been having Spain come to mind a bit lately, and so an extended stay in Europe may be in the cards for us next. One practical consideration we have is that our bank account only has about $700 USD in it right now, and so any invitation for us to travel overseas would most likely have to be strong enough to include a miracle around the financial aspect of it. We also have many friends in Canada and the U.S. whom we've joined with at various times these past couple of years and who have given us warm invites to come visit again, and yet we just have to feel out where our Heart's Calling feels the strongest...

Therefore, if you feel a stirring in your heart around the idea of us coming to visit you to hold a gathering or even just to connect, even if you don't know how that will happen practically, please feel free to email or call us directly. We're all on this journey together, and even if we don't end up traveling to you in form this time around, it may simply be a prompt for us to connect using the many wonderful technologies that are now available!

With all our Heart, we wish you an experience of Joy and Inspiration, and look forward to joining with you soon!

Erik & Armelle

707-364-0957

erikarchbold@gmail.com

dancinginthelight1@gmail.com

P.S. If you're interested in joining our Canada tour Facebook page, just search for "ACIM Canada Tour 2011" under Facebook groups, and click "Join". Lots of Love...

Two weeks in...

2011-09-13T08:10:00.001-05:00

Well, Armelle and I are about two weeks into our cross-Canada tour with Jason Warwick, and I woke up this morning with a prompt to update the "Where We Are Now:" section of this blog, since it's been quite a while since I did that...

We just arrived in Winnipeg yesterday and are now staying at the house of a new friend of ours, Karina. Our other friends, Kerri and KJ, flew here a few days ago from Utah and will be joining us on the bus for the rest of the trip to Quebec. The trip has been incredibly healing for me, helping me to see many long-standing patterns of mine which reflect the way my ego rebels against the Spirit's plan. It's been quite humbling, and I will be forever grateful to Jason, Armelle, Geoff, and all the others on this trip who've been instrumental in helping to flush these patterns into my awareness.

If you're interested in following us on Facebook (assuming you already have a Facebook account), we have a Facebook group called "ACIM Cross Canada Tour 2011" which you can join to see all the photos, videos, and updates we've posted there from our tour!

The east-bound tour will end in Toronto on Oct 7th, and after that, it feels like Guidance may be coming in for Armelle and I to fly to Europe! Its not for certain, but as always, we're wide open to any invitations from people who feel inspired to host us for any length of time, and for some reason, Europe, and specifically, Spain, keep coming to mind. So we'll just stay open and see...

Feel free to contact us anytime if you wish to connect!

Lots of Love,
Erik

Acim Cross Canada Tour

2011-07-04T08:32:00.000-05:00

Erik and I have been guided to join our friend Jason Warwick, for a Cross Canada Tour. I cannot express how much Joy there is for me, it's amazing! I'm helping out with the coordination of the tour once on the road and all the practicalities for it, as well as "organizing" the encounters or gathenings for the eastern part, and even french speaking Quebec! This is so amazing!!!!!! JOY JOY JOY.....

This road trip will start on the 29th of August in Vancouver Island and will last one month for one way heading out to Quebec city around the end of September. We'll be traveling in a RV that our friend Geoff (from Canada), who was praying for his next step, bought for the trip and will be moving in as we go and leaving his house!!! Our other friend Julie, who was ready to leave her house too and live in community at the Peace House there on the Island is coming for the whole trip too and the sixth is our friend Kerri, who is now stewarding the Master Peace in Utah and coordinating the dismanteling of this house as well as the building of it (such a wonderful project to be on... so symbolic!!!).
I am so happy to be on this tour.... so happy!!!!!

the theme of the tour is "Everything is given". Jason and I will give a paltalk to share more about all the miracles on Sunday the 10th at 8pm eastern time, 6pm Utah, 5pm pacific! you can listen on www.acimgather.org

Jason made a trailer for the tour here is the link on you tube, and very soon there will be another video with all of us too...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur6v0zIHKas&feature=youtu.be ENJOY!!
And here is the link to the facebook group http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_119391904815793&ap=1

the Purpose of the tour is to celebrate that awakening is a collaborative adventure and an opportunity to share and extend the Joy of being in Purpose...

So if you feel inspired and want to join with us, contact me at "armelle@livingmiraclescenter.org" or 1 707 364-0957, we would be so happy to meet you....

More information will follow.... I can already say that we will stop at Nelson, Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Thunderbay, Kirkfield, Toronto, Montreal and Quebec.

See you soon....
Soooo much love

This is the image of the Tour

And here is the song....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLQ2joJ_BrI&feature=fvst
"People get ready... there's a train a coming... you don't need no baggage, just get on board. You don't need no ticket, just THANK THE LORD!!!!!!"

So get ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And remember... EVERTYHING IS GIVEN!!!!!!!

Lots and lots and lots of LOOOOOOVE
Armelle

Freedom and Wholeness in exposing private thoughts

2011-06-08T13:18:00.000-05:00

Being at the Monastery and at the Lighthouse since one week now, I want to share and extend my experience in deepening the trust in my Mighty Companions and opening up fully to share all those crazy thoughts that are going on in what seems to be "my" mind, but is really THE mind thinking it is split.

It tells me so many awful things about who I think myself to be, or others and try to keep me from joining in the Truth. But since the beginning of this path, I've been so deeply drawn to share those private thoughts, or what seems to be. For once shared, what is seen, is that I am not the only one to feel or think that way;-))) Yes, it's THE mind, not "my" mind!

So since arrived here, I've been sharing so many deep dark dark thoughts and found such a release in that transparency... No need to play any role, to try to live up to seeming expectations from "others", trying to make up so that no one will see what I'm trying to hide, nothing to prove nor improve.... Being naked in the face of everyone, sharing that One Purpose, is so deeply releasing and revealing.

From there, Truth is naturally revealing itself in such an effortless way! Nothing to do, no one to do it! A sense of Wholeness is coming naturally and effortlessly, I don't have to make anything happen nor repeat mantra to know that I am Whole; It's just the experience offered in that released from all what I am not and opening up to the Innocence in everything.

Feeling so unconditionally loved an accepted by those around sharing that same Purpose is so healing! I don't have to be any specific way to be loved. Just being who I am!

I am not those thoughts, you are not them either. I don't have to protect myself against anything, nor defend... it is not the Truth!!! In that seeing, experiencing... I am Free! And so are You;-)

With sooooo much Love
Armelle

Whoever feels to join with me in that Purpose of sharing and exposing the ego, is really welcome to call me on skype. My username is 'armellesix'

Indiana Gathering, May 23rd 2011

2011-05-29T23:13:00.001-05:00

Last week we stayed in southern Indiana with our friend Connie for a few days at her beautiful cabin/retreat center "The Quiet Answer" and did a gathering on Monday night with her Course in Miracles group. Armelle and I shared a few of our songs, some stories about our relationship, how we practice the Course in our lives, etc..

I was prompted to record the session and put it up here on the blog for those who were unable to attend, so if you feel inspired to listen to it (it was about two and a half hours total), you can either click on the link and directly listen to it online, or you can right click on the link and click on "save as" in order to download it to your computer as an mp3 file. Enjoy!

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/18949318/Indiana_Gathering_May_23_11.mp3

Love,
Erik

Coming in the Joy, healing unworthiness

2011-05-28T08:29:00.000-05:00

Two or three days before leaving California, I was listening to a lot of worship music, and I had that feeling of being like the singers but not being able to express it for lack of confidence, not a good rythm, maybe even not always singing right and some fear... As I was listening I felt myself entering more and more in an helpless state of mind about that, recognizing that I coudln't do anything, nor change it, there was no need to try to improve myself, for I tried, and it didn't work! It was more reinforcing that there was really something wrong with me and my singing.
So I was desperatly crying my heart out, for I love so much singing, and I feel my heart calling me to that so strongly. At some point, I felt a total surrender happening and the words coming in my mouth as a prayer to Jesus were "ok, I stop! I totally stop trying to sing, to do it my way, to be the one directing. I cannot do it by myself, so I let You guide... And no matter what, I'm gonna trust it's for my best and follow You", I felt there was a totally given up of trying to make it happen, or making sure I'll be singing again... it was just about putting everything in the right order, and giving the priority to Purpose, to Jesus, before the desire for singing. It felt like the letting go of another identity;

The day after, Erik asked me if I wanted to sing with him. Which we did. And it was awesome, so effortless... I didn't recognize the voice that was singing, there was a deep deep Joy, and I was crying after each song almost! At some point we sang "Trusting You", one of the last song I wrote, on which we've been collaborating so much and that has been soooo healing for me since its writing! As I was singing, I felt being carried and lifted up.... and I had that feeling of being surrounded by angels, escorting me to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. There was so much light, it was fabulous. I cried so much...

On the Monday, two days later, we left Petaluma to go at Patrick's house in Sacramento. He had offered to host us for our last night and driving us to the airport. We were planning on going first to the course group in Marin and then going at his place.
There I was watching my mind and seeing some competition thoughts still and also some jealousy thoughts. And I felt that tiredness about that, and a huge determination to go to the root of that. The more I was taking the FULL responsibility of everything I was perceving and feeling about that, the more joy there was; I realized that I never fully took the 100% responsibility for the jealousy, there was always a little bit left because of something or someone;-)) Here I was determined!
After that, I prayed to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit to show me the way, to show me the thruth, and felt again that helplessness... like a surrender to thinking I could do it by myself, no I couldn't! I was humble enough to recognize that I just don't know what to do and how to do it..

At some point, the teacher was reading a section of chapter 18, setting of the goal, and I was still in a prayer state, and I had that insight...
I was brought back in my past and looking at all the times where there has been changes in my life and that I had expectations on how things were supposed to go and how I felt. Each time I felt it was because of me, each time I had given it the meaning that I was unworthy!!!!! And here I was shown that the ONLY reason that there had been all those changes was for me an opportunity to recognize, to realize that I was the unchanging behing all those changes. It was given in order to transcend the belief that I could be affected by the changes, that it meant anything about me, and that I could be something that changes, and accept that I am only what never changes, and that I can never be touch by all what changes... WOW, it was awesome, such a deep deep realization!
I put my arms in the air, feeling so FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A huge smile on my face. I was ready to jump off my chair and shout the love and joy that I was feeling, but I kept it a moment, the group was almost done;-)) I HAVE NEVER BEEN UNWORTHY was the underlying realization of all that!!!! I've always been wrong!!!!

Right after, Sharong invited Erik and I to sing one or two song. And I shared the insight, I couldn't keep it for myself, I wanted to extend that freedom!!
We started by "Trusting You", and I cannot explain what happens, but I felt the Spirit was pouring in me, it was so strong, as a huge rain pouring in a storm, I was all shaking, and still singing. He was singing through me, totally. The experience was washing me away! I felt like the personality has been thrown out, for there was no room for it to stay anywhere! wow!

And since then it keeps being deeper and deeper and everything that I thought before is just gone!
There is just the JOY, and Passion!!!!

I wanted to extend that Joy, Love and Gratitude for everything and everyone... this path, this undoing of all what I am not, is so worthet, so fabulous.... Don't keep anything! look at everything, don't take it seriously.... it's not the Truth!!

This road trip is so awesome, so deeply healing... I'm so grateful!

Lots of Love
Armelle

How God speak to us...

2011-05-21T16:03:00.000-05:00

On the way to go to Cincinnati, we had just one hour between our two flights in Philadelphia, and for some reason, I was having a craving for a piece of pizza (??? really???)
We ordered one for both of us, and I sat at the only table available at that very moment, while Erik was waiting in the line. I said the "Only to be truly helpful" prayer once sit, and looked around. I felt soooo happy... no specific reason! At some point, I heard the phone conversation of the guy behind me that I even didn't notice before... "I Love You soooo much Son. I can't wait to see you. I'm so proud of you!" wow, it was amazing, for I didn't hear anything else!!!! I felt like God was talking to me...
I had tears in my eyes... so much Gratitude for EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Right after that, I realized that I was in the same airport three years before, feeling a sense of lack of meaning and some sadness, traveling to Montreal and the north of Quebec. And now I was realizing that I was feeling so full of God, so content for no specific reason, and traveling with Erik. Once again, I was shown that all of what I dreamed about at some point had come to being my experience... and cried again! So much Gratitude to all what is given... "Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, and all things will be added unto you..."

With Love
Armelle

Journaling with Jesus May 10th

2011-05-11T00:18:00.000-05:00

May 10^th

This came as I was meditating and felt writing. Seeing this unity, this oneness is what is expressing itself through every of us, because it uses what has been made to be undone and realizing then, when time is no longer there, that is has never been, that there was never any separate parts, no time, no space. But it’s not an intellectual knowing, it’s an experience that shows you in that Moment, that none of it is real. For there is nothing outside what is. It’s complete by Itself. And then bodies still seem to move and do and act, but You, You know, You are in Heaven, and they are just images in the mind that have no reality whatsoever. It’s just one dream, meaning nothing. You are the Meaning, the Ultimate and Only Meaning there is. Totally abstract, for no word could enter it.

Hi Jesus, Wow, this day is rich in different kind of insight and deeper questioning!

I’d like first have a look at power and magic. I give the power to magic to “heal” and because I believe in their power, they are used by the Spirit to reduce the fear when it’s too high to accept a miracle. So in a sense, it seems to me as if I am giving to magic the power of my mind, but of which I am too afraid. It’s like I don’t want to recognize how powerful my mind is, and therefore I give the power to some agents outside me, whatever they are, to do what my mind can do (that I am aware of it or not) and that only happens in the mind.

Yes, you project onto something or someone outside you that they have some kind of power that you don’t have, and that they can heal and you don’t, which makes you feel powerless, but the “good” side of it that keeps it going on is that you don’t have responsible for what happens “to you”. You keep being a victim of the world, of others, of sickness, of emtions, etc… So you cannot change anything! But actually magic of all kinds are just the reflection of the decision in your mind to heal. In themselves they have no power. That’s why you cannot really explain the phenomenon of healing as long as you believe it’s coming from outside. It has to be recognized that the agent is only the reflection of the mind, and that the healing is happening in the mind. Healing is not of the body. It can be reflected in the body as en effect of a healed mind, but it’s not always the case, and if it’s not, it doesn’t mean anything.

So, as long as I am not ready to fully accept the power of my mind, or that I don’t want to recognize it, it keeps being projected outside me, whether on magic as healing devices or also on authority figures that I then believe have power over me?

Yes, as long as you don’t want to face something, to look at the guilt that is in the mind, you’ll keep projecting it outside. And you’re afraid of this power, because you do believe you’ve misused to separate from God, and so you could do it again. So you are trying to hide the fact that you believe you are responsible for the separation, that you’ve done something wrong. And as long as you will push that in and not look at it, it will keep coming in many different forms, so that you see it and release it. You’ve never done anything wrong because separation never happened. So you never misused your power, which is God’s. That’s why it’s so powerful, because He created you as Him. You even have the power to give power to what has none and believing it, the power to make up a world which doesn’t exist and believe it’s real and getting caught in it. But if you have that power, you also have the power to undo it and realizing that nothing has happened. All that it takes is your willingness to want nothing else but Truth, Reality.

Yeah… but even if I wanted very strongly separate I couldn’t because it has never been God’s Will and therefore not mine either. Because nothing can happen that is not God’s Will. So I can believe it has happened because there is a voice in my head that tells me so, and because I wanted it I believe I did it, and I am responsible. That’s why I hide, because I feel guilty of that thought of wanting something else than God, more or different. So I hide the guilt, because I’m afraid others will see it. And the best way to hide it is to project it on others, so that they become the guilty ones, and I am innocent. But then I lost my power. As I always have that thought deep down that I did something wrong, that all that has happened because of me, I keep feeling attacked and I keep react to make sure that nobody will see what I’m hiding. So I do everything to hide the guilt. By doing so, I make it very real, as well as the error. That’s why the undoing of the error, goes through the undoing of the guilt, and the exposing of those thoughts of guilt, so that I can recognize more and more that they are not true, that it’s just nothing and that I don’t have to fear anything and certainly any punishement because I never did anything wrong. That’s what leads me to see that separation never happened at the first place and therefore that all what I believed has happened after this first moment where the thought of guilt or fear entered the mind, has never happened either. I never left the Mind of God, I am not a body, and they are no six billions of other bodies, nor any world out there. That time and space never came into existence, and that Eternity is still Everything there is, as Is God.

Exactly! We are in God, right Now. Nothing else exists. Nothing else happens.

So, there is no one who is not ready to accept how powerful it is now?

No, there isn’t! Readiness still implies the idea of time, and that something that is not true now will happen in the future, will then be true. But Truth IS True Now. There is only Now!

Let’s keep going in this direction because one of the other things that came to me was time. Seeing that my belief in time was blocking my total acceptance of the Atonement Now. But if there is no future because there is only now, and nothing that is not true now because the Truth is eternal, then it means that even if there is a belief in time, it can’t be a block?

No, it can’t. What You are, You are it, Now. There is no doubt about that. I have no doubt about that, God has no doubt about that. But you do! You don’t fully believe that. You still believe you are in this body, living a life in time and space. So your experience is not one of eternity. It’s an experience of time, with a past, present and future. Where the past seems to be real and causing the future, and the present is only the junction between both to assure the continuity of time. That’s how the ego has made it. But you are not the ego, neither the body. But the ego tells you that you are and you keep listening to it and believing it. And what you believe you see. So as long as you will listen to the ego instead of the Holy Spirit or Me, you’ll see this world with bodies, and you’ll believe what it tells you. When you listen to the Holy Spirit in a consistent way, you start believing what it tells you, even if you don’t see it, because you see its effects. And therefore you believe more and more and you see more and more the reflection of that shift in mind. And it seems to take time, only because you believe you are in time. You cannot understand that, but once you’ll come to the full recognition and acceptance of the Correction of the errors, you’ll that it didn’t take time, for there is no time. Now it seems to be a process only because you are still listening to the ego that tells you that time exists, that you have a past and a future - that you are ruining by listening all those craziness - otherwise how could you be there? But in Truth you are not there. You just sleep and dream you are.

So I cannot believe it is instantaneous as long as I believe in time, because it is like a protection to keep believing I am here, because I’m still valuing other things that are related to time, this world, the body, and I don’t want only the Truth yet. So as I am still afraid of losing something that I believe is real, at some level at least, I use time as an excuse. So I believe it can block me from the acceptance of the Atonement, but again it’s just in my mind. Again I give power to something that has none, as it doesn’t exist, therefore it seems to have some, and I seem to be “stuck” in time.

But who is the one that seems to be stuck in time? Can the Son of God be stuck in time? He can dream He is, but He can never be. He cannot be anywhere else than in His Father’s Mind. For it has never been His Will.

Yes, I am not the one who believes is here, in this world, in time. Who I am cannot be in this world, so cannot be trapped in it either, and even more because this world is an illusion and doesn’t exist at all.

Wow, it’s fabulous! This day is and has been amazingly deep, and go deeper and deeper in all those thoughts that came to me today is awesome! It keeps me going down the rabbit whole! I love it!

I was still reflecting on having told to Erik “you never hurt me, it was only thoughts, never You!” and some memories of the past came up where I could still feel some guilt around what happened and it was great to have the opportunity to look at it and undo all what had been believed about that, for I could see that the memory was kept alive by the guilt that was still felt and forgotten. And this is such a very powerful statement, because it undoes all thoughts of victimization and even that it is possible to be a victim. Again it comes down to the power of the mind. It’s a way of taking back the power that I’ve given away by thinking I could be hurt by something other than my thought, or even that I could hurt, which again comes back to hurt myself. For both are the insurance of the continuity of the guilt. In both cases there is guilt whether it’s in me or I project it outside on the other. And therefore there must be separation.

Yes, you recognize that you are the one at the core of this game, and if you withdraw your investment in guilt, you can also see that nothing happened, that it was just in your mind, where the power is, where Truth is, and that there was never anything outside it. Guilt is what keeps the whole story of separation going on! You hold the others in prison with keeping the guilt, whether projected or in yourself. For as long as you are guilty, you cannot see another innocent. If you are a victim, they have to be seen as a victor or as a savior. By playing a role, you keep them in a role, and so neither of you is free! It’s like you gave them the power to define you, to tell you who you are. There need to be another for you to exist, and therefore you want them to keep being who you think they are so that you can still being who you think you are. Otherwise you’ll feel lost, not knowing who you are anymore if you cannot define yourself the way you know you, and you’ll have to seek again. And here it’s the opportunity to go inward and find, by following the Holy Spirit, instead of keeping seeking outside where you will never find yourself.

Yes, everywhere where there is guilt, then what happened is real, so the past is real, people are real, the world is real therefore I am. For as soon as there is time, I am there too. There are bodies and the world is real. But as soon as the guilt is gone, then there is nothing to hold onto the past as real, so there is no fear of the future anymore, so no concern, and time drops for the eternal Presence of Now…

Yes! And that’s all there is, Now!

Great! One more thing that I’d like to talk about for it is still in my mind. I know everything you’ve said is so great and goes deep. But I feel that has been a recurrent fear that came several times. It’s the fear of falling. I face that when I see someone near an edge (often in movies), where there is high, or at the top of a building or something like that. I feel the fear that they might slip or be pushed and then the body will fall in the air (emptiness) and then crash on the ground and die. So I guess even deeper, it is the fear of death. Which I think in my mind is also associated with the fear of healing because there is a belief that if I wake up, then the body will be gone. That’s I think the biggest fear, the loss of the body! So for sure, in that statement, I make the body real, and that’s surely why I fear losing it. For how can I lose something that never was, and is not?

It’s really the fear of the unknown. “I want to know what’s gonna happen”! Not knowing is intolerable for the ego. Being based on a thought system based on fear, it always needs to be reassured for everything. Being in time, it’s based on the past being real and therefore fearing the future. As soon as you enter time, which is the birth, eternity is not there, and therefore there must be an end to everything if there is a beginning, which is death. So because it starts, it also ends. Time is the home of the body too, which comes into existence with birth and leaves it with death. Everything that is not in eternity comes and goes, so if it comes, it must leave at some point. Also having an end is reassuring. You don’t know when it happens, but you know that it will happen and that it’s how the body will end. Also you have to have goals and projects for the future, for you to be busy and you have to know!

So, not knowing is a terrible affirmation for the ego, it’s its disappearance. For it’s by knowing anything that it defines itself. So you always need to know everything! And it’s because it’s incapable of knowing that it wants to know so much. It knows that there is something that it doesn’t know and that is intolerable for it. So it makes education service and schools, etc… and it values a lot the power of knowing. For not knowing is its dread.

Yes, it’s so funny for I’m experiencing that right now, seeing how there is a part of me that wants to make sense of all that, and reasoning, and trying to understand all what I’m typing and I feel my mind is becoming confused, and I don’t know where it’s going. It’s like it’s erasing as it’s typing. So it’s a wonderful way for me to enter directly into the experience of it and keep surrendering to it. It’s so great!

Yes, it’s wonderful. The more you’ll just drop in the experience, the more it will flow. You don’t have to know anything, know the words, to understand the logic, nothing. Just trust and let it go, let everything go the way it goes, and be surprised. That’s the fear, not knowing… but how many times did you experience just taking one step and living moment by moment, not even keeping your mind on this moment, but just being so attentive to what you were doing that you totally forgot everything, that you forgot time, eating, sleeping, or other things that were not aligned with the purpose you were following at that moment. And that felt very natural. You didn’t have to make any effort to be in that state of mind; it was very easy, flowing and natural, because it is your Nature. You are not in time. Your Nature is not in time. And when you enter fully this Moment, the Now, that’s what happens, everything that is not true, just drops. There is no thought about it. As if it never existed. And you are not afraid in those moments, because it seems so natural. You’re afraid only when you think about it, when you think about having to wake up and what would be the consequences of it. But when you just are… already, living fully this Moment, not resisting to anything, just Being, entering Eternity, there is no fear, because there is nothing to drop, to give up, to let go of. There was never anything, and there is no thought about anything else; there is just This. And This, is everything, Now and forever, without a doubt, for doubt doesn’t exist in this Moment. There is no lack in this Moment, no questioning. There is only Certainty. And everything reflects that. Isn’t it?

Mmmh… yes… Yes, it happens a lot, in many many different situations, and absolutely, nothing is missing. It’s actually when there is a thought that something is missing that suddenly there is a missing feeling. It’s like the thought makes the experience related to the thought!

Yes, exactly. The thought that you are a body makes the experience of being a body, without it there is no experience of the body. When you don’t think of it, how can you say it’s there? If you don’t think about death, how can you say that it exists? If you don’t think about the fear of losing something, do you feel the fear? And that is not happening in the future, it’s happening in the moment you have the thought, even if the thought itself is talking about a fear in the future, the thought is happening now. And to avoid living that fear now, it will talk about the future and what if… and all the potentials regarding that thought. It will talk to go in the future consequences instead of staying here with the fear that arose and living it, being in it and seeing it for what it is, nothing. It will make a whole story of it, to avoid now.

And that’s exactly what happens with the fear of the loss of the body. For to lose it, it would need first that you would be the body or have a body. Which cannot be true for Who You are is not in time. Who You are is eternal and cannot die. Who You are is unlimited and cannot be contained in anything that would limit it.

Wow, awesome! Everything! Thank You sooo much!!!!!

Journaling with Jesus May 9th

2011-05-10T15:15:00.002-05:00

May 9^th

Jesus, today I could see how the pride is covering over the fear of being seen as unworthy. It manifested in different ways, the first being posting my journaling of yesterday on which there were full of judgements and doubts about whom was really answering me, that it couldn’t be you. It keeps being a trick to make me stop journaling and exposing the false self-concept, using the reinforcement of pride and the fear of being judged as untrustworthy because of those sharings.

The second one being my clothes, and the way they are still used to mask the unworthiness by valuing the body. I was seeing that clearly with this leather jacket, as well as this silk dress and a stylish skirt. I saw how they were part of the pride of the personality wanting to cover over the unworthiness, also felt by the personality! It so crazy to see how it’s the personality playing all those games, to “promote” itself, or pushing itself to hide, and one or the other doesn’t matter it’s still the illusion! The clothes were seen as being the skin of my being, representing that pride that “keeps me safe”. I was seeing that when I was travelling alone before I was so happy to not dressing in a special way, same last year where I’ve been travelling with one jeans and two comfortable pants, a short and a simple skirt, and it was so perfect! And now that I am in town again, the struggle with the clothes came again as if as there are other people around I need my “protection”. It was so great to see that so clearly for deep down all I want is absolutely not caring about that, and just going with what is there!

I saw that both those situations were related to time, that I was actually fearing something that might happen in the future, which is the trick to not be in the Present moment, which is the fear of the ego, because it’s its undoing, it disappears in it, instantaneously!

Also I had to decide what to do with this retirement fund in Belgium for which there is no way for me to get the money before 65, due to a new law. It’s so crazy to me! But I was seeing that again it was related to time. And here I had an option to change something to have a death cover, which I don’t have now. And as I was meditating on that, I felt that I couldn’t choose fear and death and again wanting to protect myself. That it was for me to choose life, and that Moment, not in 32 years! So I felt letting it go…

It’s been several weeks that I’m feeling seeing this time defense more clearly in so many different ways, always trying to hide the real fear, this Moment.

Oh, yes, the Present Moment is the dread of the ego, it cannot resist to it. It is seen instantaneously and vanished in Light of Truth. It will do everything it can to make a seeming problem in the form and keep the mind preoccupied with it, but there is only one problem, the belief in separation, and that you can be what you are not, and one solution, which is never in the form, Love, recognizing What You are. What you express is showing different ways used by the ego, it’s very helpful to see that, for it keeps multiplying those all over again to hide the real problem. But the more mindful you are about that, the faster you’ll come to see that there has even never been any problem, that you have always been in God, where you are Now, and none of it has happened! You are none of those add-ons of the ego. That’s what it does, it adds all the time its judgement on everything! And because you believe you are this body, you think you are the one judging or judged, but you can’t. Who you are is incapable of judgement!

(later) I spent a very quiet and deep day, mostly meditating. And this clarity came to me.

Everything is always neutral; it never has any meaning by itself. It only has the meaning I give to it. Everything is my interpretation. I make it what I want it to be. But it’s always naked. The moment I give meaning to something I exist, and I know who I am. And that’s really what I’m looking for… I give meaning, not because it has some, but because I want to know who I am, I want to define myself. Therefore meaning keeps being given, for the ego cannot bear not knowing, it wants to know. It thinks it knows. And it thinks that no meaning is death, but what if it was Freedom? What if knowing, giving meaning was imprisonment and that not knowing what is anything was freedom? Always new, always free to be what is.

Nothing is personal, so no clothes are personal, they are just clothes! They don’t mean anything about who I am, nor about anything else. They are just clothes. They are not even related to me. They are just there, used. The meaning given it is different for everyone, for not two persons see the same world. It’s always an interpretation.

Nothing is evil, ever. Nothing is bad or wrong, nor good or right. It’s neutral, empty of any meaning, a white sheet. It’s like when I write. There is anxiety facing the white sheet only if I think I must write, I must do something with it, I must fill it. But what if it can just be a white sheet, or empty, left as it is? Then it’s just that! Nothing needs to be done. Nothing is expected from me… Isn’t there a release in that? Isn’t it freeing? If something is done, it’s done. It’s what’s happening. But if not, then it’s also what’s happening. And both don’t mean anything!

So I never need to be any way, to play any role. Roles are there to hide, to mask the anxiety of not knowing who I am, the need to know. So we create boxes to put everything in, roles to play and links between everything, past memory to hold onto that will define us and explain what’s happening now and why, so that this anxiety is calmed down. But it’s just temporary. It will never cease and never be satisfied. It always asks for more. So we keep seeking where we will never find the answer. But the one who wants to know is the problem! And I am not this. Life is just happening, effortlessly, without my approval and without my “control”. And everything’s ok. All strains can be released for if something goes, it’s not who I am. No need to protect anything or make anything sacred, for who I am is beyond all of it, beyond time and space, beyond the world, and That is What I truly want!

My journaling with Jesus, May 8th

2011-05-09T16:26:00.003-05:00

May 8^th

I love You so much, and keep bathing in Your Love dear Jesus.

Sometimes I can see thoughts like I am like a little girl looking up at you and by doing so I keep the separation going on because there are still two, you and me; but I feel that it’s so helpful still. I can see the ego trying to take over and firing into arrogance claiming it knows everything!

Yes, it’s very helpful to remain in that humility of being the second as long as the total restoration of your Oneness in God is not complete. The ego will try everything to tempt you, everything that has worked in the past, everything that it thinks could take your attention. It’s very vicious, and doesn’t want you to know the Truth.

I know. This morning, it’s been trying to send me messages of rejection, which has been so deep in the past story of this character. And this time, as I was looking at the story told in my mind, very fast, as anger and hatred were being built with the story of rejection, it was seen so clearly that there was no need to try to defend against those, or protect myself against them. They were nothing. They had nothing to do with Erik’s behavior, which was the story told by the ego, and it was seen that they couldn’t touch me, nor even reach me. They were only feelings of the personality, but had nothing to do with me, so they could be there, it didn’t change anything, they couldn’t hurt! In that seeing, immediately, they just vanish! And there was just Peace.

When no value is given to the story or the character, when there is no need, or no desire to defend any identity, then you live fully the meaning of “in my defenselessness lies my safety” for you can know that by not needing to protect yourself from anything, you know your Invulnerability as God created You, as Spirit. The need to defend is making the attack real, and it cannot be! By realizing that no attack can hurt you, the attack is seen through, and disappears.

Today, it’s mother’s day. And it was a wonderful opportunity for me to look where my mind is at with all those roles. I was looking at the concept of celebrating the mother, and it felt to me so restrictive, so limitative to define one person in one role and telling it’s who this person is. I’ve already been talking with my parents that my love for them is far beyond the fact that I am their daughter or they are my parents, that we are so much more. And as I was looking at the purpose for me to call my mother for this day, I could see that there was no joy or sense of love in it, it was just coming from guilt. So I didn’t feel doing it. Then I was shown a memory from the past when I was 12 or 13, when it was mother’s day and that my sister and I had completely forgotten it, and my mother was so pissed off at us. She told us something like “after all I’ve been doing for that’s how you thank me!” and that was still in me, telling me better never forgetting her again. But I couldn’t act from there anymore. There was no juice in me to nourish this guilt and thought that I could hurt by my behaviour, no desire to entertain a false concept which felt to me like joining into false empty, when everything is me is guiding me to join in the Truth. It was seen that there was a sense of owing her something, as it always plays out in any special relationship! And in this seeing, there was such a deep release of thinking I could owe anything to anyone, that I had to conform, that I had to be a certain way to be loved, that I had to get approval to earn the love that I am lacking, that what I am is not enough and that I have to do more, do something to make sure I will not be abandoned! It felt that this day was this Celebration for me…. The release of the belief I could owe anything to anyone!!!! The release of the need to play any role!!!! What a Freedom…. This is how what seems to be mother’s day has been “re-born” into released from role, Freedom of Being!

It’s so wonderful! Specialness is the juice of the ego. As soon as there is a world out there, there is a special relationship with everything. And the only Purpose of this world is to release that, to see that it’s not there, to give it to the Holy Spirit so that He can guide you through the undoing of those special relationships in everything! Giving the Purpose of Healing to the world, is changing the specialness to holiness, and know your Reality as Spirit as the undoing goes. There is no other purpose for this world. As it is for time, whose only purpose is to come to the end of it, and realized there is no time!

It is not about playing a role, neither about rejecting any role, it’s about giving them over to the Spirit so that He can teach you how to use those in a purposeful way to undo the need for them and listening to His Guidance, instead of counting on your own to do what’s best for everyone, and not acting in a way that serves your purpose and reinforce the specialness and littleness.

Yes, I was feeling, I was totally open to call my mother, but I didn’t feel the guidance to. I felt being so joined with her in Truth and that there was such a release in that seeing that it was all there was really to “do”. And I feel that this release is extending to every role I had played. It’s the same release of the specialness happening yesterday with Erik… it feels it just keeps happening…

I feel such a deep Strength and such a deep Call to clear away every concept there could ever be and just being that clear channel for the Spirit, You, to pour through and extend Yourself to everyone. It feels that the desire for anything personal is being washed away, there is only a desire for Service…

…(love)

I feel I’d like you to talk more about rejection. It’s been such a huge part of the story for me… and it’s been such a huge trick to not follow my heart. So it feels it could be so helpful.

Yes, for sure. Rejection is the separation. It’s rejecting Who you are, for being who you are not. But you don’t want to see that, so you forget it, then it’s reversed and projected onto God whom you believe has rejected you, and then on the world, when you feel rejected from the “society”, or on others. And because you believe yourself to be rejected you keep trying to belong. Because you don’t know Whom You really Belong to, you look for belonging all around you in many different ways, and the special relationships are such a huge trap for that. So I could say that rejection is a misidentification. Once you know Your Identity in God, you don’t need to be included in anything, nor belong to anything in the world, for you know Whom You truly belong to. You know Your True Identity in God, and therefore your Oneness and that rejection is impossible! But as soon as you identify with the ego, the story, the body, the character you think yourself to be, you feel rejected, and you project it, because you have rejected yourself. You have rejected your Self, the Son of God. So you have to come to see that and take full responsibility for the experience you’re having, for projecting it on others keeps the loop going on! And as you feel rejected, you keep rejecting. But as long as you will reject any part of yourself, you will not know your Reality, for it will block the awareness of Truth, by making any part meaningful to you. You cannot reject something you know it’s not true. So when you reject something, you give it reality and a power that it doesn’t have, but in which you believe. And so that is what is before God. You choose fear, instead of Love.

Mmmh… yeah, thank you for that clarity!

This morning, also, as I was meditating, I came to see that I can never be part of anyone else’s dream. That everyone is a character in my dream, that they are there because I dream this dream, but if the dream ends, they end with it. So they answer to what is in my mind. They have no more control over the dream than I have. Is it accurate?

Yes, it is. That’s the meaning of “there is no power, but God’s”. No one in the dream has any power over anyone else. The only choice I have is how I want to perceive things, which lens I am choosing to look through. So the characters are the characters. They play the part that has been given them to play, exactly as this body called Armelle is. They don’t really answer to what is in your mind, because it would mean that everything is happening now when it’s already over long ago. They play their part, as you play yours, and you have the choice of how you want to look at things. There is no link between anything. It’s only the ego making links. It’s not because I think that then they do that, so if I had thought that they would have behaved differently! What happens happens! And your interpretation of will depend on to what are you identified. Do you know yourself as Spirit or do you think you are this body in this world. That’s all!

The Love I feel in my Heart, is beyond every possible role! That cannot be limited to anything nor anyone… It’s so Beautiful… Tears of Gratitude… I release You All… Shine and raise brightly as the Light that You Are reveals itself to You and reveals You as the Truth that has never ceased to be. Everything’s ok, You are Safe. God is Here, and has never not been… We are at Home… Thank You so much…

Later) It’s so incredible how the ego becomes subtly vicious once deep steps are taken. This last hour, I’ve been watching all those attack thoughts that things should be different than what they are, that there must be something wrong between Erik and I because we almost didn’t talk to each other today, nor join a lot. And I can feel it become stronger and stronger, and starting to believe in it. But it cannot be true… can you help me look at that, for right now, I don’t see clearly.

Yes for sure. Your decision to join is already showing that is your desire has shifted too. There was one point where you wanted those thoughts, otherwise they would have had no grip on you, but you started to believe it, so there was a moment where you chose to be guilty and believing there was something wrong, and therefore thinking you were what you are not, instead of staying in the Truth. The guilt was more attractive than the innocence! Your decision to join and share this is coming from a shift in desire, coming from wanting peace instead of conflict and therefore changing teacher to look at things, and seeing that there is nothing wrong. What’s happening is just what’s happening. Two hours ago there was no meaning given to the exact same situation, and since an hour those thoughts came and you started to believe them. So there was a point where you change the teacher with which to look at the world, and that’s the only problem. For sure it had nothing to do with Erik or the silence between you and Erik or anything that has happened, but just from a decision in your mind of listening to the ego’s voice and accepting its story and therefore pushing the peace out of awareness for an illusion of conflict and problem! Once it is seen, it can be released and you can choose for Me!

Yes, thanks!

I feel that this day has been so deeply undoing again, and there was a lot of crying of gratitude and release, and it’s so beautiful. I feel so much joy with that, and yes it’s also calling for attentiveness for it’s given that the ego will throw its best tricks to keep some grip on me. And communication between Erik and I is definitely one that has been used a lot, as I have a belief that silence in a couple relationship is proof of something wrong! So it’s another opportunity to question deeper the couple belief coming back and what is communication.

Yes, it’s always an opportunity to know yourself, and what is the identity you choose to believe in. Are you a Son of God or do you want to be part of a couple? Apparently, here, it was your choice! You believed the ego telling you that you were a part of a couple, having a communication problem. Ok let’s look at that. Start by the communication problem. Can it be true?

No, it can’t. For communication is not between bodies. So starting by seeing that there is a communication problem between Erik and I is already showing the wrong mindedness, and that I’m seeing two bodies, having a problem, therefore I’m trying to find a solution in the form, where the problem is not.

Yes, so what else can you do?

Seeing that the problem cannot be in the form, it’s always in my mind, and the only problem there is, is a perceptual problem, showing me something that is not there. I see two bodies, I see separation, I see a world, therefore I am upset, because I am deceived, I denied God and therefore my Self is unknown to me, and that’s why I’m upset. I’m upset because I believed the ego and thought God was not there anymore.

Yes, great! You’re back to your true Identity as Spirit. And is there still any problem?

No, there isn’t. There is peace!

Now, look also at the other belief to go deeper… Can you be part of a couple? What is a couple? Look and cut the root of it!

A couple is some kind of entity made of two separate bodies who join together to find the oneness that they believe they have lost because they forgot who they are, and therefore they forgot God. So it’s an ego made belief to replace God and push Him out of awareness by valuing something else.

Yeah, that’s great! That seems pretty accurate regarding how the ego has made it! So can you be part of it?

To be part of it, I must assume I am a body, a person. I also must assume that there are other bodies out there, and one in particular with which I join because he is more special than others and that I believe he will complete the lack I feel in myself. For if I assume I am a body, I am already feeling a lack, for I am without a Source, therefore I’m looking for meaning and completion, and mostly I’m looking outside. That’s what those special relationships are for. I want to find myself. But I’m listening to the ego, instead of the Holy Spirit. I look for completion where I could never find it, in a special relationship (of any kind). Where to find real completion, I just have to look inside and see the Truth, that I am still in God, just dreaming I am not, therefore I am misidentified, but I can choose otherwise now that it’s seen. So no, I cannot be part of a couple. Who I am cannot be part of anything because It is Wholeness itself, and that there is no part to what is Whole. If there are no separate parts, there can be nothing but Wholeness, and so what was made out of the belief that I could separate from my Creator must not be True. How could Truth enter illusions? How could a Son of God be part of anything, like a couple? It’s impossible. And I am not a body. So I cannot be and have never been part of a couple. It was part of the dream.

I don’t see what else add to that!

Thank you so much! It’s so helpful to Be in Your Presence and seeing all that coming through. It’s reinforcing that we are not separate, that Truth is in each of us, when we want it!

(Smile)

(later) I keep seeing that in a very very subtle way there is still a desire to prove my worth to others. I can see that especially with Erik, but it’s not only with him. I guess it’s the metaphor of wanting to prove to God that I am worthy of His Love, and I think that I’ll prove that by my doing, by being a good Servant of Him, and therefore there is a use of being in Service to promote my worth, for pride. I guess all that is still coming from a sense of unworthiness, that really I don’t feel anymore, but which apparently still manifests itself, so must still be underneath the need to prove my worth by sharing how great I am to others! It’s not like that all the time, but today there is a deeper awareness of how it is playing in a very subtle way in some cases. And I really feel that my joining with you Jesus is actually undoing that because I feel such a deep pull to be so authentic in my journaling with you and not hide anything so that it can be seen for what it is and released. I feel that even if I wanted to hide, I couldn’t, for my Love for You, the Love burning in my Heart is the pull to be so transparent and looking at every bit of crap that shows its nose.

I’m still perceiving that Erik feels superior to me and that he wants absolutely to hold onto that identity, and that he is not really willing to trust me. He looks at me as being untrustworthy and spiritually immature, so that he can feel superior. And he just wants to trust David, and not fully opening to me. I’ve been looking at that so much already, and I’m tired of that! I’m tired of having that feeling of being in competition with him. I feel I just would like to join in the Joy, and not having to be a certain way. So I guess it’s an opportunity again to go deeper and looking at what’s blocking it, because there must be something else that I choose before that, otherwise that’s what I would experience!

Yes, if really you wanted only the Joy, that’s what you would have. And if you don’t, there must be something else that you still value more than Joy and joining in the simplicity of Being. You talk about competition, let’s look at that. I think it’s such an important part of the ego identification.

I’ve been seeing at some point how I’ve been in competition with everyone. There was such a deep identity of being a beautiful, intelligent girl, having such an ease to succeed in whatever she wanted. But all that was masking a deep unworthiness, having always to be at the top, to be perfect and living for other’s approval. So the competition was at the first place of this life, in everything. There was a belief that there wasn’t enough love or enough room for everyone to shine or to be loved, therefore it was important to be the best, to secure my place or the love I would receive. So a deep sense of lack. And all that is coming from the belief I am separate from God and therefore I am in competition with Him, because I want to have my own kingdom and being the ruler of this universe. I could see that clearly, how I wanted the whole world turning around me.

The belief in lack is at the core of the ego. Believing God had rejected you, you cannot be whole anymore, so this whole world and so called life is about finding wholeness again, but how can you, coming from such a deep sense of lack? This world is the manifestation of the lack of love, having been made to answer this lack by many distractions so that you would never go in the only place you could ever find Completion, inside, in your mind, where God has put the Holy Spirit so that it would be impossible for you to forget Him, because it wasn’t His Will. He never wanted you to be lost, and therefore you cannot be. But you do believe you are, so you seek wholeness in everything and everyone, and you feel so much lacking that you think you have to fight for everything, and as soon as you find something, by the very fact of finding, you fear losing, for it’s not eternal. So you are in a permanent fight to keep what you think you’ve gained that has finally solve the problem of lack. But what you have, you can lose. That’s the rule of this world. That’s why you cannot give, because then if you give, you lose what you had. And then you have to start to seek again, and fight again, and it’s never ending. So it’s a permanent race to win a fake sense of wholeness where you will never find it. It’s a permanent competition to be the first so that you’re assured of getting something. Because it’s really what is important in this world, getting, not giving!

So this whole path where you start to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit is about loosening from those beliefs, learning to give and learning that by so doing, that’s how you have and that you cannot lose, for it’s by giving that you strengthen everything in you. For giving and receiving are the same, and that what you give, you give it but to yourself, for these are the laws of Heaven, where there is perfect Oneness and where extension is permanent, being eternal and being the law by which God has created you as He is, extending Himself to You, as Perfect and Whole as He is. For how could He have created something unlike Him, the law being that you extend what you are. So yes, it’s about undoing all sense of personal, pride, competition and everything you’ve believed in and made your life on, which as you’ve experienced never made you happy. To finally come to the FULL recognition that the only way for you to be happy is to recognize that You are One with God, and that all what you thought yourself to be is but a dream that never was. So that you felt worthy or unworthy in the dream doesn’t matter! That you felt inferior or superior doesn’t matter. It’s false! One or the other face of the same coin of illusion is still an illusion. That’s the judgement of the Holy Spirit. He doesn’t judge on the form, on good or bad, right or wrong, because it’s all false. therefore he overlooks everything and sees it for what it is, AN ILLUSION!

What does it cost you to see like Him? All what you’ve been believing about yourself, the world, the people in your life, the story, your individuality, time and the pride of being the author of yourself who needs no one! And you don’t want to let go of that, you really think that it has some value, that it can give you something. Think about it…

I guess, yes, it still does but in a more and more subtle way, for the awareness of Truth in growing in my experience, as the Love is stronger and stronger. But I can see some hidden little ways where it still plays out, like here today. I can see that the desire for Truth is not total yet, as I see that I still want to choose the way to share it, or express it, I still want to do something, for doing nothing and being quiet still scares me in some way. So yes, I can see that I’d like to share the love through singing for it’s such a strong way to be in the Spirit, and would like to direct the way of having holy encounter, through offering gatherings or joining deeper with people that are on the same path as us. I still want that more than the Peace of God.

I can feel that there is still pride that is being undone as more and more I fall on my knees, and bow before God, in humbleness and gratitude for how He Loves us, for that Love that reveals itself more and more I am willing to drop into Now. And the more it happens, the deeper it is and the more the subtleties are coming up, are seen and released.

It’s funny for as I’m writing all that, I’m having this experience of none of it being really true, like being just a cover, but certainly not my Reality.

By looking at all that you are not, you uncover all that has been hiding What You are Now. You’ve never changed, but you’ve believed it, and that’s all that is being flushed up. So the more you are willing to look and see it for what it is, the faster it goes. It’s not You! It has never been, even if you believed it. For Who You are cannot change! Thank You…

Thank You!!!!

After writing all that, I went to bed, and shared with Erik that when he was sharing his struggle about what to do about mother’s day and the fear that I could judge him, I felt the guidance to tell him “You never hurt me. I hurt myself with my thoughts, but you, you never hurt me”, but I didn’t do it because there was a part of me who didn’t want to admit that, who didn’t want to take 100% responsibility of EVERYTHING that has “happened” in the past, for it meant that if I was telling him that, I was recognizing that for all my life. It meant that never anyone, nor anything had ever hurt me, but my thoughts. I could see the judgement of saying that as stupid, but really I was, or rather the ego was trying to protect itself by keep hurt and the past real! I wasn’t totally willing to let Erik and the past out of the grip! But after journaling, that’s what came to me, I just wanted to tell him that. And once I did it, it felt that everything I had been journaling about today just felt so meaningless, so unreal, like false ego thoughts and stories feeling welcome due to the resistance to following the guidance, which was an appeal to keep projection real, and attack justified!

Once again I was seeing how the ego operates to distort the miracle and throw its best punch, when I choose not to be in my function and interfere! So great!!!

My journaling with Jesus, May 7th "What an amazing day!"

2011-05-08T02:58:00.001-05:00

May 7^th

Dear Jesus, what an amazing day… I didn’t get to write you today as I felt being totally taken over in what was the plan for me, and just following and it’s been so great! I felt that I was with You, all the time. Like no other thoughts but Love, Truth could enter my mind. I saw some but they had nowhere to stay, no grip on anything, so they just vanished where they were coming from. I feel it’s funny to keep calling you Jesus, for I feel so intimate with You, I would even say that I feel we are One, and the same. The love in me is so strong, that it burns all thoughts that are not of You.

Mmmh… It is exactly that! We are One, we are the Same. There is no separation between You and Me. And your willingness to let nothing, no scrap of falsity telling you otherwise is what is restoring what has never been lost. In the Light of Truth, no darkness can stand! It has nowhere to stay, for no attention is given to what has no value.

You know the seeing of the attachment to the feeling and sharing it and going deeper into it was really great, for it opened up such a trick to keep believing I am a body and that any feeling can be real or determining something that has any reality. It’s like the release of the body was in that seeing. And the episode of the pain was so helpful to see that I cannot be it, I am Pure Spirit Who can know no pain. It’s such a great opportunity to go so much deeper! Other pains have kept showing up today, and it’s the same seeing… they cannot have any effect on Who I am, and have no reality. There is something that is so much deeper and stonger than pain, and there is Peace!

Yes, it’s an effect of an unreal cause, so it cannot be at all! Pain or any other un-associated feeling is just a way to make you believe that you are not what you are, that you are a body weak and vulnerable, and therefore that you can attack yourself. But you cannot attack yourself, and by demonstrating that, you strengthen the message in you that nothing can hurt You, or change You or harm You in any way, that You are Invulnerable. As I said in the Course “Sickness is a defense against the Truth. But I am not a body, and my mind cannot attack. Therefore I cannot be sick.” And you can replace ‘sickness’ by whatever you want that makes you believe or feel trapped into believing that you can be what you are not, that you can separate from Your Father and become fatherless, with no way of return!

I felt that this day was so dedicated to Holiness and undoing of the specialness with Erik even deeper. It’s been so great. We started by an expression session in bed this morning and went deep into what I believe a woman is and what a man is, to come to feel being helpless, totally helpless in that seeing, and feel “but it cannot be true! That cannot be reality, for it would be awful!” and tears came with this helplessness of having believed that for so long, and coming to seeing that it’s not true. It was like when my son died, I felt so helpless before this life, that I thought and felt that life couldn’t be just that! Life cannot be just about being born, living for a while and then dying. And that’s when I felt being so carried through life and it was such a huge point of awakening for me, where nothing made any sense at all, and I was feeling something inside pushing me to make so many changes in my life and opening up more and more… This morning, it felt like that again… opening up fully to realizing that there is no woman, named Armelle, that there are no women at all, as there are no men! And this day was about showing how to join from that perspective and it’s been so deep! Opening up to the Reality that I am Spirit! My joining with Tom this afternoon was such an opening to see everyone the same, loving everyone the same, making no distinction. And by the exposure of what could be in the way, of the thoughts that were creating a very subtle sense of uneasiness, and the willingness to join in the Truth and seeing the Christ in him, the True Joining in Christ could happen, a moment out of time, that sense of eternity that I’m having more and more, where things happen, movements happen, but there is no sense of time. It just seems to be that moment with no beginning and no end. It wasn’t about a man and a woman with a story joining, but about being the Christ and extending it. I was feeling so emotional, on the edge of crying of Gratitude, for no reason. There was such a deep Innocence and Purity. And it was so wonderful. Thank You so much !!!!! Thank You so much to God for creating me Perfect and Whole, a Pure extension of the Light that He is.

I feel you live in me so deeply Jesus. It’s like I spent this day in such a deep worship to you, as if every of my word was a song to you… I am so Grateful!

You are this Love that shines so brightly in my Heart and keeps burning what It’s not.

Wow, as I am writing, I am noticing that I don’t see any differences in my keybord, I mean no depth to the touch, it’s like it’s just one thing, like a flat sheet, as if it was a picture, and that I am typing on it;-)

Yes, don’t worry about that, all your senses are shifting. Don’t pay attention to it. It’s normal!

Yes, it’s just so funny…

My journaling with Jesus, May 6th

2011-05-07T18:28:00.000-05:00

May 6^th

Hi Jesus, I keep feeling very attracted by all what thalks about ‘Quantum Physics’ and also about ‘beliefs’. It’s almost as if there is a message in me telling me that the more I will know about how it all works, the faster I’ll be totally free.

I’m see as I’m writing this, that this means that Freedom is not now, but in the future! Which cannot be true, or God wouldn’t be loving, and separation would be real, being possible that the Truth would not be true right now, but later when…

Hi Armelle, if you do question and answer, what do you want me do then?

Laugh!

Yes, this is exactly what we can do, laughing to the ridiculous of the ego thought system, and that all belief that separation for our Father is possible, and has happen and is still happening! Time and space is a joke! There is no time, only Eternity. How salvation could be conditional to you getting something or not? How could it be something like you’ll get salvation if you understand everything? This would be promoting that you have to do something in order to get somewhere, where you are not now. That’s how the journey starts… believing that you have to get somewhere, that you are not there yet, that you still have things to do, that you can do anything to make it happen, that you are the doer of anything! And that what you do have any effect on anything; which would mean that you are at the cause, having effects out there. And believing you are a cause is the authority problem, the core of the competition with God, to which you want to prove that you are better, and that you don’t need Him, that you are without Him. But without Him you are nothing, for you cannot be separate from Him. So of yourself you are nothing, you can do nothing, and being the effect of an unreal cause you can be nothing. Therefore you must be Free Now! For nothing that you think real has any reality whatsoever. And can’t therefore keep you trapped in any way. The realization that it’s all a dream is Freedom! For it is just a dream and not reality, then God must be Real, and you still must be in Him. And That, is available right Now. You don’t need to wait for anything for That to be True and your Reality Now.

Earlier, I felt being taken in a deep meditation, very abstract. And at some point it felt like if I was brought backwards through time and space, to the beginning of time, the big bang. But it felt like if the journey had no end to go back to that point before anything happened, as if there was something in my mind that was blocking the ‘stop’ button and I never reached the beginning point, where there was just This, nothing else, no universe, nothing, just a point or parcticule or I don’t know exactly but just no time, no space, no world, nothing specific…

Can you talk more about that experience …

The thing is that there was no beginning of time. You just believed there was, and you still believe there is. But there was no big bang, no separation. So how can you reach the beginning of something that has never happen? How can you find the end of something that has no beginning, except by seeing that it has never happen, and so it was just a dream. That’s the end of the dream. When you realize that the world and all there is to it is but a dream, an illusion. It has no reality. So in time and space you can seem to have those kind of experiences but there are still in time, there are not real. They might be helpful to enlarge your vision but they are not Reality. Reality is seeing the Christ everywhere and knowing it is What You are. God is Reality. And You are in Him, eternally. As long as you are still having an experience in time and space, you still define yourelf as being what you are not, no matter what is the experience. The Truth is beyond that. Reality has no boundaries, no measure, no limitation. What is limited and measurable cannot be real. Again, Reality is Now. And there is no experience of It, there is a Knowing. But you cannot understand that with the ego, so don’t even try! Accept It! Keep looking at everything you still believe and that keeps coming to your mind, and kind of tiring all that you still value in any way so that you come to see the total valuelessness of this whole cosmos of time and space. Then you’ll accept Reality fully. I am with you …

I guess that’s why I keep allowing me to choose any magic I still believe in, as a way to look at them deeper and see that in themselves they have no power, no value, they are just reflection of my mind. But if using magic reduces the fear, because in that moment, I am not fully ready to accept the Atonement, then does it mean that they are reflection of the fear? For I take them to be reflection of my openness to Truth and that they will just reflect of wide I am ready to open up to Truth. Whether they are persons, healing technic or anything else, they have no power, nor any meaning of themselves, but only the one that I give them, right?

In themselves they have no power, no meaning, like for everything. “I’ve given everything I see the meaning it has for me”, so that’s all! They are neutral, as is everything you see. Magic is part of the world you made, and can therefore used by the Holy Spirit as a way to reduce the fear of waking up to Reality, because He would never do or guide you to anything that would engender more fear, for in that state of mind you would not be able to serve His Purpose, and therefore not seeing the false as false. So it’s helpful as long as there is fear in the mind. For having reduced the fear you are then available to perform miracles and accepting the Truth. They seem to have the power that you gave away because you were afraid of seeing how powerful your mind is, therefore you made an external agent seeming having that power instead of you. Sot you are not responsible of your thoughts. But by doing so it also make you feel powerless in some sense, thinking that the power is outside you.

I saw how I’ve been identified with feeling, having a lot of feelings, being in touch with my feelings, and how I am attached to feel, to the sensations of the body I think. It’s almost as if feeling defines me! It’s also like there is an attachment to the feeling of the beingness, to the vibration in the body to which I give meaning. When there are a lot of vibrations it means that I am in higher state of consciousness and so it’s better. And it feels as if there is a lot energy that is just asking for a little step more to pop up. But it seems there is a wall blocking it. So that awakening would be that explosion of this wall.

There are a lot of assumptions to question there. For it seems that everything you say has a lot of reality for you. The feelings are coming from what you believe, and the way you feel determines the thoughts you have. In the world we define everything with the five senses. The world is seen through them, and that’s part of the judgement mechanism. I know I’ve said the only right use of judgement is ‘how do I feel?’, so that you can know what you are believing, whether you believe in separation or in your Oneness with God. But here, what you describe, it seems that you use feeling as a way to know where you are on the level of awakening, assuming that there are levels, so that needs to be questioned, for it assumes the belief in time, that it’s not now, but for the future, when… Nothing has any meaning, and still it will seem as if the body is transforming with the awakening process, for it will reflect the change of state of mind. So there can be those kind of ‘vibrations’ but in themselves they don’t mean anything, for if they did, it would mean that separation has happened and that you are on a process to solve it, which would happen some day when… And that cannot be the Truth. It can seem to be your experience, but only because you believe in time, and therefore you see the Answer given by God separates by time from when the ego was made. But it was instantaneous, and over long ago. You keep thinking that what you seem to live is happening now, with a past story and a future to come. But everything is past. And you are in God Now. So being attached to the feeling of beingness as you say it, is deceiving yourself, for it’s trying to make something last in time and wanting it not to change, so that you can know that you exist. There is nothing that can last in time, for everything is passing. It comes and goes. Feelings come and go. They are trustworthy in the moment. It also seem that you talk more about sensations, bodily sensations, determining your level of awakening. But there is no level! There is no compromise between nothing and everything; the Atonement is total or not at all. There is no in between! So it’s again a trick used by the ego to keep you preoccupied by the body, the outside and measuring something that is not measurable, when the only Solution is inside, where the problem is. Keep your mind focus on Truth, not on seeming effects of a process which will lead you only to delay time and deceive yourself more into illusions. None of the seeming effect of waking up to Reality is worth to focus on, or analyse or give attention or meaning to. They are nothing! Empty concepts! Effects with a false cause, therefore they cannot exist. There is no competition, for there has never been any separation. So there is nowhere to go back to, no race to win. It’s Now! And it’s done! And it is inevitable! You don’t even have a choice in it! That’s how it is!

Wow, thank you. I feel kind of confuse and even not totally sure about everything I wrote, where it is coming from. I have some doubts that I willingly give to you, that I may know your Certainty and being shown if there are things to change in what has been written. Thank you for your Presence.

After sharing my doubts about this writing and then reading it again, a sudden very strong pain arise in the body, in the left arm, the chest, the troat, going to the tong, they felt like becoming paralysed, and it was more and more difficult to breath or move. It was as if I was having a heart attack! Aware that it could only be an ego reaction, I was contemplating the statement “sickness is a defense against the Truth”, and realizing than once the purpose of sickness, which is making me believe that I am not what I am and that I am a body weak and vulnerable, is seen, that healing occurs! So I felt that I didn’t have to try to make the pain disappear but dropping into it felt the guidance. So I put some music and went into an Inner dance, releasing the body, in coming into the experience of the Spirit! I had the image of Jesus on the cross coming to me as a reminder that I am not the body, and that this experience was the opportunity to go beyond the pain and transcend it.

More and more I felt like drugged, not knowing anything, nor what anything is for… We decided to watch a movie “what dreams may come” and as Erik was reading the comment of David in his movie watcher guide, I was having that experience that I didn’t understand any of the words he was saying, and I was just laughing so much because I didn’t understand anything, and everything just seemed to be so funny. We’ve been joining into that unending laughter for a while. It was so releasing! Even that laughter had no meaning, no reason, just empty! So wonderful!

My journaling with Jesus, May 5th

2011-05-06T05:08:00.000-05:00

May 5^th

Wow, Jesus, this is so wonderful! I’m seeing so much of the false beliefs and identities playing out and trying to keep me from joining with You, or sharing this joining. Yesterday there was such an awareness again of the desire to be perfect, to be seen as perfect, and therefore by sharing all those conversations, exposing myself (hum! which self?,) to the possibility of not being seen as perfect! But who is the one who want to be seen as perfect??? Then there was a fear of sharing all those questions that seem to be intimate, seem to be from me (hum), so personal! I feel that all this is really teaching me that nothing is personal, and enlarging the barriers to the extension of seeing that there is absolutely no barrier, no me, nothing personal, that everything is That, and that the play is just the play, not to take seriously! And all those thoughts are just there in order for me to be distracted from the Truth, from joining, from sharing, exposing what is false, what has no reality whatsoever, and to believe that there is a me who has really been that, done that, felt that, etc…! But exposing is really such a deep way of releasing the false in seeing through this keeping hidden game!!! I just love it! For there is something in me pushing me to be totally transparent… having nothing to hide, knowing nothing can hurt Who I am, and no thoughts are true! Nothing means anything, absolutely NOTHING! So let’s go to expose the falsity of the concepts that are just there to hide the Luminous Self that Always Is! Yesterday, I was reading one of David’s post from last December on his yahoo group about private thoughts, that I kept in my mailbox and at some point here this question “Would I want to have perfect communication, and am I wholly willing to let everything that interferes with it go forever?"T-15.IV.8 And for me the answer is YES! It seems that every day is just showing me the reflection of all those decision in my mind!

Wow, yes, it’s so great! It’s actually really the Purpose of Joining. In the Light of Truth, no darkness, no illusion can stand! They are all burnt into the Fire of Truth, leaving no trace, for they have never been. There is Only This.

You know it’s so wonderful for yesterday, I was feeling some tinkeling in my heart at the thought of going into MMT and doing again the ‘Quantum Physics’ section. But it didn’t happen. And just before going to sleep I checked my emails and I received an email to participate to a free tele-class given by a friend in Quebec, and then I opened a link talking about almost instantaneous healing through applying quantum physics. Again, it was shown that I don’t have to do anything, for everything is always given! I love it, and keep being amazed every day, as if it was the first time that it happened! (it’s funny for as I am writing this, I’m having that deep feeling that ‘It is the first time! There has never been any other moment than this one!’ as if this moment is all there is, and it feels like everything, eternal. And it is not the first time I’m having those deep feelings of the eternity of this moment and that there was never anything else. It really happens a lot now!

Yes, that’s the Joy of the Child Who doesn’t know anything and who sees everything as a Miracle! For there is nothing else than this Moment, even deeper… nothing else than This. Eternity is even beyond the feeling of eternity, of this moment that is eternal. And what you experience is that Reality is restoring Itself to you more and more as you see through the falsity of the illusion. Therefore time is fading… When there is no need for defense anymore, they just go. When there is no attention given to the illusion, it vanishes! When it is seen that there is no value in this world, and that nothing is outside the mind, What is Valuable is seen…

So this morning, I wanted to ask you how to deal with those beliefs that are still coming up. But I realized that keep given them over, seeing their falsity is what to do about them, AND keep focus on the Truth, on the Love in my Heart, on the Abstraction of the I Am and resting. There is nothing to do than resting in the Presence that I am, and being willing to do nothing. I saw that the ego was really hungry for a new process to deal with the belief. It didn’t like the answer of yesterday to how to deal with the deeply rooted identities that keep coming back. You just told me “I love you” and the feeling was so deep that it washed away any desire for an answer… really Love was, IS the Only Answer! But the ego is not satisfied with it, because it is not for it, it is the very thing that makes it vanish! So there was still a bit of that this morning. And it seems that it fades away, as I came in my day, seeing through all what is not!

Oh yes, the ego is hungry of practical answers, of processes, all questions, for it keeps the seeking going, and therefore maintain the sense of its ‘existence’. That’s why I told you that the Only True Answer is Love. There is no need for words, for they are not Truth. They point to it, and will be given as long as needed, but you are not the one in charge of that. You have to step aside and let Me or the Holy Spirit telling you what is most helpful, and knowing that words will come through if they are really needed. Sometimes your Silent Presence is what is most helpful and healing, for the ego cannot grasp onto that!

Oh yeah! That makes me think about what happened yesterday with Erik when he was struggling with a question to which he absolutely felt he need clarity to be able to see through and letting it go. He already asked me that question several days ago, and at that time, I felt I had to be present to be able to give him an answer for I felt he wanted an answer. But it didn’t work! I could feel I was trying to give him an answer that he rejected very fast. And even if I was asking for help, I could see that I really wanted to give him an answer. So yesterday, when he asked that question again, I just felt that I really didn’t know the answer, neither even if there was a need for a verbal answer and that it was the perfect opportunity for me to practice what you told me… that I didn’t need to listen to the words, but to You, and that the Only Answer was Love. So I did that, and it lasted for a while. He was talking and I was just focus on the Love I was feeling, like if I was listening with my heart, not my hears, and there was absolutely no discomfort, neither no special need in me to give him any answer. He was finding a lot of answers, clarity by himself, and at some point, words started to come in my mouth. It was so deep, for I had no idea 1 second before that I would talk or say anything. It was such a deep experience of trust again, to see that really I don’t need to do anything, just being willing to be used as an instrument for Truth.

It’s so beautiful Armelle. This is really how it works. You cannot trust until you try another way and you see it works, it’s true. Therefore you can let go of the old way, for you’ve been shown that you are never alone, and you don’t have to be the one in charge. Life is in charge of everything! Just be willing… everything will be given to You!

Wow, it’s so wonderful!!!! It was already like that yesteray when Erik and I joined. It felt that it was the answer to my prayer. I wanted some clarity about all the thoughts going on in my mind and as I joined with him, he shared his process, without talking about anything that was going on and this joining, was the Answer to the clarity I was asking for… Love. You forgot Who You are, that’s why you want clarity. Therefore the only Answer is Love, Who You are. Coming into right mindedness! As for today, same thing when I had those thoughts again, what came to me was, the answer is Love… and they all vanish! It was really my Call for Love. And through giving him Love, Presence, I answered my call!

And again, today, I was feeling I wanted to journal with you about the Immediacy of Salvation and what’s blocking it, what’s keeping from it to be Now! I was doing other projects, and suddenly felt joining with Erik, without any reason. And he shared what he was looking at and it turned into a “satsang” where we were questioning the Immediacy of Salvation! Isn’t it fabulous! It’s again showing me I need do nothing, just being willing… and it’s given, given, given!!! And through this mouth!! Awsome! Such a deep experience of Presence, Truth, Listening and doing nothing!! And getting clear! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!!! I Love You soooo much!!!!

Mmmh… yes, it’s really how it works! You need do nothing! Except not interfere…!

Oh my God, Jesus, this is sooo amazing! I was just meditating on my lesson of the day, “In quiet I receive God’s Word today”, really determined to hear His Voice! I first had that vision of a hand putting a ring on my finger, as symbol of the union with God. Then I was shown that I never know what anything is for and I was seen how things are perfect as they are, and that we can never judge how the configuration is in relationship, and that by not judging it, nor putting relationships in any box and limiting them, I could see that everyone is always so taken care, and always receive what’s best. Therefore it doesn’t matter with whoever Erik could join or I could join for it is always what is most helpful in the moment for everyone. At that moment, I felt totally transcending, popping through the fear of change. It just dropped! And suddenly, my heart which felt like being in a shell, cracked open, as going out of the shell, and the light started to shine in it… It was so beautiful and such a deep release!!! Wow!

(Quiet laugh)(love)

You know Jesus, I feel that I still want to go deeper into the Immediacy of salvation. I feel I got a lot from joining with Erik, but still it feels there is more… could you tell me about it, and also show me what’s blocking me from accepting the total Atonement right now…

Believing in time is the main barrier, for then nothing is ever about the present moment. the Present Moment is what the ego absolutely wants to avoid. That’s why it keeps trying to distract you with many different things, taking you into further and further steps from Now. It doesn’t want you to stop busy acting because then you’ll be found in the quietness of the mind. The only one problem, being masked by the many it creates for you, keeps being pushed out of awareness and you keep being preoccupied by what is on the screen instead of totally stepping back in the Mind, where the only Answer and Correction to the misperception can be. That’s why I keep telling you that what happens on the screen doesn’t matter. It’s just a dream, a projection of the false belief that you could separate from the Creator. The dream, the world is an effect of a false cause, a cause that never was. Therefore it cannot exist. Therefore time cannot exist, nor space, nor any of the images the body’s eyes seem to see, because the body doesn’t exist either. So as long as you keep being preoccupied by what you seems to see, feel, the thoughts in the mind, etc… all what seem to be part of the dream of separation you will not know fully your Oneness with God. By focusing only on My Guidance, the Love that You are, and seeing nothing else but that, you’ll remember what has never been lost, and see that it has never been forgotten, for there has never been anything else but that. Keep giving me all the thoughts of time and space you could have so that they won’t distract you and be so mindful and prayerful about everything, that you let no doubt enter your mind. Remember to pause before answering anything to anyone, and ask Me. Remember to pause before interpreting anything you see or feel, hear or think, ask Me. Speak only My words that you may be bathed in My Love constantly, and in other time, keep quiet, stay with Me. I’ll do everything for you, through you, just be with Me, that you may transcend the belief that it’s possible that we are separate from each other and from our Father. By knowing your Oneness with Me, you’ll know It as Your Natural State. Because you believe in time, you cannot understand that it is already accomplished, that it has already happen long ago, and that nothing other than that has any reality. Therefore you think that it’s only possible in the future. But can you accept right Now your Reality in Heaven with Our Father?

Yes, I can.

Wonderful! Then stay there. Don’t move for there is nowhere to go, nothing to do! The final step will come to you

Yes, I really get that whatever thought or belief is in my mind it cannot keep me from Being Who I am, but can mask the awareness of it if I give it attention or power. It’s like our natural state is Resting in God, and every time that we follow those thoughts, which become beliefs I kind of experience “leaving” this state; I never do so, but the experience seems to be that of being out of God’s Mind. So it’s a matter of not giving any power to thoughts that arise and giving them over to You.

Yes, totally. Your Natural State is Peace. You never left the Mind of God, you are still as He created You. Nothing has changed for nothing has happened. Even the you who seem to have been deceived don’t exist, for there is only Pure Oneness in the Mind of God. There is no part, there is only the Whole. This you is like a dog chasing for his tale, he will never catch it! This you will net be enlightened. Freedom is the seeing through of this you.

My journaling with Jesus, May 4th

2011-05-05T15:03:00.000-05:00

May 4^th

Dear Jesus, there are some concepts that are very persistent and keep coming back, even if looked at and given over. Can you help me on that, or guide me ?

I love you…

Mmmh… I feel it, I love You so much too… (tinkeling in the heart)(feeling so much Innocence, and so playfull like a little child)This… is Everything. This feeling of contentment, of Wholeness, is all I want! When I come to that fullness of Being, there is absolutely no need for anything. This is all there is, all I want, all I need. Everything else, if there has ever been anything else, disappears in this very moment, and let me with this eternal feeling, like being in a moment with no beginning nor ending, that is not defined by anything, not limited, where there is no time sequences, just this… It is Eternity! (laughter)

I feel kind of confused, for I feel so much bliss and happiness, that I feel our voices are merging into one. I don’t know which is yours, which is mine. I feel the same love coming from both, this Infinite Pure Love

(Laughter) do you still want me to answer any question?

It’s so beautiful, for I just realized that you are demonstrating exactly what you teach me! You told me several days ago that it didn’t matter if I was understanding the words when someone speaks to me, that I just have to listen to you, and that anyway the Only Answer to everything is Always Love… and that’s exactly what you showed me all over again, and again right now… and it’s true! I don’t need any answer to my question, for it doesn’t matter! All questions are always coming from a misidentification, and therefore are a call for Love! So the only True Answer can only be Love!

Yes! Who is the one asking the question at first? Who is the one wanting to know how to deal with this and that?

I feel sinking more and more in such an abstract place in the mind, where it seems more and more than nothing really matters. Only Who I am does! And from there, it’s like being on the back seat of a limousine, you just rest listening quietly to the song of Love playing all over in your Mind.

It’s like for our road trip coming soon… I feel so excited, and also so full of trust that everything will unfold so perfectly in such a miraculous way! So, when I was feeling so strongly contacting all those persons, I could see that there was a resistance to that because I believe that I don’t need to do anything and that everything will be given to me, without me having even to contact anyone. But it was so strong in me, and there was so much Joy, that it felt like I couldn’t hold it back, that it would take me more energy to hold it back than to do it… so sometimes I’m doing something!

You’ll go on sinking deeper into abstraction, for it is Your Reality! God is total Abstraction. That’s why you can forget everything you think you need or know, and still function in this seeming world, for you are not the one functioning! It’s just a pre-arranged script that is playing; and it seems to you as if it is happening now, and that you are the one doing it but it is over long ago. So everything is already past. And your Natural State, Now, Is total Abstraction! What is happening on the screen simply happens, as you watch a movie. You are not the one making it happen. So just watch, have no judgement at all on anything for it has nothing to do with you. That’s why I keep repeating you that it’s not personal to you! You are not Armelle, the character playing in the movie called Armelle’s life. You are the Ultimate Spectator of it, knowing nothing of any of the parts that are played, but only knowing of Its Reality for there is nothing else.

So, wonderful! Mmmh… thank You!

(later) I feel I want to join more with you. I don’t have a question. I just want to be in Your Presence.

...

Thank You.

(later in the day) I’d like to ask what I’m suppose to do with my retirement fund that is still in Belgium. For I finally had the contact information of the company, and when I sent the email, they couldn’t open it because of danger of viruses. So I don’t know what to do. For if I do nothing, that money will come to me at 61, if this body is still alive, and I don’t know how they will find me, as I am not living in Belgium anymore. Also I was feeling that this money could be used now… instead of in 30 years! Which makes no sense to me at all!

Yes, I would do what you can to reach the company and asking them what are the practicalities for you to receive this money now, for indeed that can be used now in a very purposeful way. But if it seems blocking then let it go, it will come when it will come, if it's meant to be. And trust that it is for the better good for everyone. There is no general guidance on that, you just have to be willing and then follow what’s given when given… this is the effortless way!

Also I can see some fear coming up when I hear some names of people I will meet at the Monastery. As if something was asked of me, as if I would be joining with them and I’m afraid of what could happen, of how I could react.

Oh yes, the ego is really good at the fear of the future, ( really it’s the dear of the Present Moment!) and it’s keeping you preoccupied by this specific event or person. But as soon as you enter the thought of future, it’s too late, you already have forgotten Who You are. As soon as you enter time, you are afraid, for time is separation, and therefore fear. So the fear has nothing to do with what you imagine, but only with the fact that you forgot your nature, and you take yourself to be what you are not, therefore you see others who could attack you. But it has nothing to do with the screen, it’s all in the mind. That’s where is the fear, and where is the answer to fear… Love!

Nothing is ever asked of you; again it’s a wonderful ego trick to sow fear in your mind and create a problem on the screen that will keep you from looking inward. You have no specific “mission”. There is no world. So the only thing that is asked is for you to see that, and return to your natural State of Peace, in Heaven where Your Father awaits. His Will is not that His Son would be afraid, so it cannot be. Fear is the condition of one who has forgotten who he is and takes himself to be what he is not. But as it has never been His Father’s Will, that too is impossible. You can never be what you are not. It’s just a dream. And you need but wake up, to see it’s not there, and have never been. Come back to the place you never left, that You may know Him as the Only Reality there could ever Be.

Journaling with Jesus May 3rd

2011-05-04T04:18:00.000-05:00

May 3^rd

Hey Jesus, I feel soooo in love! The more I spend time with you, doing nothing, the more I feel the layers of falsity are pealing themselves away!!!! Yesterday I felt the guidance to sell my leather jacket. Why it’s such a beautiful jacket? I don’t see any moment where I will still wear it again. It was such a huge symbol of pride, vanity, independence, superiority, masking such a deep repressed feeling of unworthiness, loneliness and sadness. And when I looked at it, it almost seemed difficult to do so, because it seemed as if it was a part of me; almost like a protection. I was hiding behind it. So it feels that doing so, is opening to a deeper recognition of Truth… I don’t need anything outside me to define me, or protect me!

Yes, that’s great. All those symbols are used to cover over the body and the guilt; because you don’t know who you are, you don’t feel safe. For your Safety lies in God and you believe you are separate from Him, therefore you look for protection outside, by all means. It can be what you put on the body, or what you put on your face to disguise even more, or the barriers all around your houses, an alarm system… You want to have more and more, for it is the core of the ego… having to be. But the more you have, the more special you feel, and the more unsecure you feel, and you are then always worry about losing something, for you’ve put all of yourself in that. You’ve become what you have, what you do. And that’s why you fear losing it… who will you be? But the Truth is that you’ve never been any of those. You’ve never been anything but the Son of God! All those are just tricks used by the ego to keep you trapped in its game, in the world’s game, so that you don’t look within and see the Light that shines inside, showing you that you don’t need any of those “costumes” or disguises or protection, for you will never find who you are outside yourself! Who You are is that bright shining Light inside you. But you can’t see it as long as you are preoccupied by how you look, what you do, how much money you have, what will you do when you’ll be 60, etc… What You are you are it Now, and nothing can hide it, but you can not be aware of it, if you so choose…

The funny thing is that now, I am dwelling on how to sell that, how much, what would be the easiest and also the most helpful; and really I have no idea. But I can see the desire for getting the more I can out of it, as if it still is part of me, and that I cannot sell myself for nothing. The price I get makes my worth almost! At least that’s the underlying feeling or belief. Do you have any guidance for that? For I just want to be truly helpful and know the Truth. And as all the funds are under Holy Spirit’s or Your Guidance, what is most helpful? I am also totally willing to give it, if it’s meant to be, it even feels joyful!

Yes between those two illusions which one am I to choose? Do I do this or do I do that? But as long as you try to solve the “problem” that way, you’ll go nowhere, and nothing will truly be solved. What is your Desire? Stay there!

Mmmh… yes, the Truth, Being with You, and letting You guide my steps! (rest, all strains disappear)(love pouring through)that’s the only thing I truly want! And I still try to do things the way I’ve been used to, by trying to know what is best, but using my way. I ask, but not fully. It’s like asking you for feeling good but not being fully willing to just stop, sit, join with you, letting go of all outcomes and just rest… and allowing whatever comes out of it. Wow it’s so beautiful. I feel so Whole, so Happy, so full of Joy. I am so very Grateful. You don’t even imagine!

Oh yes, I do, believe me… (love pouring)(pause) I’m not giving you all that because I believe you are unworthy and I want to prove the opposite, or because I believe you’re lacking and I want to show you how whole you already are. All what you receive, all what I give, is already What You are, I just extend it to you. I know your Wholeness as mine, and Your Worth because it’s of the Father. There is no doubt in my mind about that. I don’t see any body or person in you, I see only the Truth; I see What You are, not what you are not. You don’t need anything to be what you are, but to be fully aware of it, you need to stop listening to the voice that tells you that you are not That now, that you are not worthy of so much Love, that you need things outside you to be whole, that you need to seek outside to define yourself, that it will take a long time, and it cannot be now, it must take time and be hard! Bullshit! None of it is true. And that’s what you need to see… it’s false! Accept your Worth NOW, as the Perfect Child of God that You are. You are the Christ!

Thanks… I know I was having that feeling of being so inferior to you and looking up as if I am special and you know how unworthy I’ve been feeling and that’s why you are there, to help me go through that and release it. But how can I release something that I first made real? I have to see through first, to see that it’s all a joke. That there is no one unworthy and there has never been, as there is no one lacking anything. For there is only Wholeness in Heaven, where I am, One with all my Brothers. Wow, it’s so great. Thank You! It was so subtle, and I can see how it plays out under a false sense of humility and gratitude! It’s so powerful!

First, as long as you will see those things as part of you, you’ll be deceive no matter what you do, because you’ll want it to mean something, and it doesn’t mean anything; you’ll sell it regarding how it defend your self-concept associated with that. And you’ll feel threatened! So look at that first. Are you certain that it is part of you, that without those things you are not who you are anymore?

No, I am not.

Can it be you?

No.

Can they even be yours? Are they really personal to you?

Ah! Mine to whom? Does the Christ have any possession? There will need a person for it to be personal, so I have to believe I am a person, for it to be mine or personal. So I have to be trapped in being what I am not, in identifying myself with being a body, limited and defined by those things, unsafed and that could be attacked. But that cannot be the Truth, if Truth is unlimited and that I am as God created me… So they can be nothing more that meaningless, illusions made for distracting me from the Truth and being preoccupied with appearances.

Yes! So can you lose anything by giving them away? Or can you gain anything by keeping them? Can you be more than what you are?

No! No! And No! I see… they are just nothing. They have no meaning. I just gave them a lot of meaning. But I see that the opportunity here was to look at all those self-concept, and the meaning I give to things, and seeing through. So their unreality can be seen, and therefore it can be released.

Then even the idea that I could get some money from it is ridiculous and meaningless?

Yes it is! You never know what can be most helpful, and if you try to do things in order to get something in return, as money, you tap into the reciprocity on which the world is based. Nothing is for free, you have to pay for everything. But in itself it has no value, so let me attribute the value it has, regarding the degree of helpfulness it can have for everyone. Don’t set a price, let me give you what it’s worth. All what you have to do is being willing… willing to look, willing to give, willing to follow… then watch it unfold. What happens in the dream doesn’t really matter. Let Me be in charge for it for you!

There is no death!

2011-05-04T00:03:00.000-05:00

Today, I had a deep meditation, that lasted for a while. At the end of it, I heard the voice of the one who was once my son, Gauthier. Since his death, I often had contacts with him, and he has been used as a very usefull symbol to waking me up to Reality, to enlarge my vision of what I thought was true. Today, once again, it surprised me, and it was so wonderful!

I heard him telling me :

"We've never been separate. For we never left the Mind of God! We even never have been in the flesh! We were never born."

It was coming from so deep, and so much Love and Joy came with it... it was so wonderful! I keep being amazed by the way he has been and is still used in my life to bring me always deeper in the recognition of Who I am. Several weeks ago, he already told me, that he is in my mind, where he was already when he seemed to live with me.
He was such a reflection of Purity, Innocence, Joy, Laughter and Life. When the body left, I was faced with my own inner death, and felt pushed by a Force to seek for Life, feeling that life could not be just that, there had to be something more, else.
His death or the disparition of the body, showed me what is real Life, I would even say "gave Me Life" in a way. It showed me that Communication doesn't stop, is not broken because the body is not there (as said in Acim ch15.XI), that it is beyond the body, and opened me to the fact that we are not separate. .

He lives in Me, as I in Him, as We All are in God.

I feel so much Gratitude, so much Love, so Alive.... bubbles of Joy, and laughter...
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

Armelle

Journaling with Jesus May 2nd

2011-05-03T01:20:00.001-05:00

May 2^nd

Hey Jesus, I feel I’m going deeper and deeper into seeing the falsity of that world, and those identities. I feel more and more disorientated, and so much more easily brought back to the Truth when I still let the ego dictates its judgements. It feels as if you don’t stop talking to me, as if there is the constant voice of Truth bringing me back to where I belong! You were right, I really don’t need to do anything! It’s so great. In the same time, I feel that I never know what to ask you, like if there is no question in my mind. But I feel very strongly joining with You, it’s so helpful! I think also there could be an avoidance of it because it’s so helpful, that it feels to accelerate everything. So it’s kind where I am at today, having had deep meditation after deep meditation since I woke up this morning. It was like I was totally taken over by the Silence and couldn’t move anymore, nor even open my eyes. An experience of no control, and I am not the one in charge, it’s done through me.

(laughter)(big smile)(tinglings in the heart)(spreading all over and leading me in a deep Silence, no control, no movement)(when I opened my eyes, there is so much Joy, I could explode!). I am with you all the time, I’ve never ceased to be. You don’t have to connect with me by writing to connect with me, we have been connected since you woke up and even more;-) Don’t doubt what you do, or don’t do! Just know that it is always perfect as it is, trust what you feel and even more trust your Purpose. That’s what is leading you. Your very asking for me to be in charge of everything when you wake up, put me really in charge of everything. It’s a clear invitation of your Desire for Truth! “Ask and you shall receive”

I am closer to you than what you can even imagine. For the purpose of this relationship is that you know that I am You, that there is no difference between us, no gap, nothing that separates us in any way. I am That which You are. Don’t bother with the rest, it’s all false anyway. See it just for what it is, an illusion.

Yesterday, Erik asked me to put these writings on our blog. I wasn’t feeling it fully, but I did it. After a few minutes I started to feel really bad about it, so I deleted what I published. Again today, he told me he was really feeling it was to be on our blog, for that was truly helpful. So I’d like to explore that, for I might be afraid of being seen as still having those kind of questions, and therefore not that advanced. And I am also afraid, that some of those who might read it could perceive that it’s all bullshit and that I am metaphysical ghosting. So I’d like to know what you would like me to do about that and if you can help me to see what’s blocking clearly. Thank you!!!! Oh my God, it’s crazy how I feel full of Joy after that little experience I just had before;-) You know it’s funny but I feel that a layer has gone, I feel so intimate with You. I don’t feel looking up at You anymore, I feel you are like my best Friend, my most intimate Friend. It really feels that we are so close. I think I even want to say we are the same, that’s the feeling… I don’t feel any difference or separation anymore! Ouhhh

Oh Armelle, it’s so wonderful, I so rejoice with you. That’s exactly what I was talking about! The Purpose of joining together is to know our sameness, and it’s the same Purpose with everything and everyone. It really comes down to Simplicity! For there is only One Purpose for joining, knowing our Sameness, seeing the Christ, only One Answer to everything, without any exception, LOVE, One Purpose for the day, Peace of Mind… there is only One! How can it be more simple than this?

Do you still want me to clarify anything else? (laughter)

Yes, I do. I’ve been so afraid of asking you any question, and now I feel I could just talk to you the whole day. I could just do that all the time, asking you all the question, as futile there are, that come in my mind, so that they can be seen through and disappear!

Ok, that’s great! Let’s go then!

Yes, that would be wonderful for you to share those conversations. There is nothing personal in it. This relationship is not personal, neither the questions you ask. So it would definitely be helpful. Also for you to remember that there is no one outside you that could judge anything! All judgement comes from self-judgement. And who is the self who judges? And who does he judge? What is the bigger perspective on that? It’s false! A trap in which you are willing to fall so easily. To preserve what? A false sense of self! An identity that doesn’t exist and has never been? What for? Being who you think you are? You’ve never been that! It’s impossible. You cannot be what you are not, for it has never been God’s Will and therefore not yours, so it never happened! The only right use of judgement is “how do I feel”, so ask yourself the question regarding those writings.

I feel good, I feel very good, very very good even. I feel more and more aware of everything that is going on in my mind, so much more committed to the Truth, so full of Love and Joy is flowing everywhere… so I guess I have the answer! Thanks (feeling so in love, so full of gratitude)

You are so welcome;-)

There is something else I’d like to ask you. It’s regarding my relationship with Erik. I’d like to know how it could be of better use. How can we use it for the best, for both of us, and everyone? And I’m really talking about everything!

First know that there is no barrier. You don’t belong to each other. You are everyone and everyone is in you. So there is nothing personal either to this relationship, exactly as I just told you for this one. It’s for everyone. Remember that, “When you are healed, you are not healed alone”. So that’s the Purpose of the relationship, Healing! And in this seeming “process” you’re taking everyone with you. When you awake, not one will remain apart. When I awoke, you were with me. Explore everything that you feel to, and take nothing for granted. You never know what’s going to happen. There is only One Moment, and this moment is Now. And that’s truly the Only Thing you can know for certain. The Only thing that can be known is Reality! There is no certainty anywhere else. It’s always changing.

You are together to remind each other the Truth of Who You are, that you may never forget again. It’s the same relationship than with Me. There are no differences, nothing that keep you separate, and he is in your mind as I am. There is no one out there. There is no love story in the sense that the world thinks of it. He is the closest witness to your Desire and also the one with whom to practice What is True. When you can forgive him fully you will remember Your Identity in Christ surely. By offering him to know him, that’s what you’ll give to yourself. It’s not different than any other relationship, but you both have the same shared Purpose. So there is no special bound, but you are there for each other as a cocoon in which you feel safe to open up to the Love that You are, seeing more and more through the illusion of the ego. So he is like your “prior” holy relationship, to go deeper and deeper into what has been hidden and repressed so that it can be seen and released. Therefore don’t keep anything that you might feel could be between you. Open up fully to him, as a symbol of opening up fully to God, but with the awareness of the Purpose! Not falling asleep again. Keep your Purpose in mind as the light that will show you the way. Go in every corner of your mind to uncover everything. Don’t keep anything. For it’s not who you are, but by keeping it, you fear it in some way and therefore make it real. There is nothing to fear, for there is nothing. This world is nothing. And remember, as you see him you will see yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself.

Ok thanks. But is there something more specific for us being together? Something in the plan for us to accomplish?

No. Being Who You are, and sharing and extending it. The ways and means will be given. Just stay in Purpose.

What about sexuality? are we suppose to make love, or to use sexuality in a certain way?

As for everything, to see the false as false, to see everything that has been repressed and hidden, and in this matter there are a lot of things that you would like to keep hidden.

You mean, myself, personally?

No, I mean, everyone. It’s something in which there is a lot of shame and guilt because it is related to the body, and therefore there is a huge belief that what we are is the body. Starting there, there is already guilt. Then there is an identification with all the thoughts and fantasies, and as there are a lot of rules too, there is very often and easily a guilt coming with those thoughts which reinforce the belief of being the body, and keep it enchained and not “seeable” because of the fear of what we might find underneath all that. So as long as it is helpful in that way, just use it as you use everything, to join in Truth and let all what needs to come up, come up. If you use it for pleasure, you reinforce the belief that you are the body, and that you can have pleasure in the body, that it is valuable and that you choose that before God. There is nothing wrong with it. But it’s just foolish. It’s just another distraction, like eating can be too. So it just depends the Purpose you use it for. Joining and remembering the Truth, Holy Spirit. Or pleasure and lack, reinforcing you are a body, separate from each other and God, ego. Don’t make it another god! For bodies cannot join. It’s only if you choose to join in the mind that you can undo the fear of intimacy with your Self. For as long as you will see bodies, there will be a fear of joining and intimacy, because you see separation. Therefore you’re afraid of being attacked, and you think you need to protect yourself from the other. But given the proper vision, it can be very useful, until it’s not anymore and there will be no attraction to it either.

Thank You…I love You!

Journaling with Jesus May 1st

2011-05-03T01:17:00.000-05:00

May 1^st

Dear Jesus, today I talked with my biological family and it didn’t feel that easy to see them in Truth, I could see that I still believe I am the daughter, mainly with my father that I see I believe is unhappy and I want to save him in some way by giving what I know is true, but it feels like preaching and he is not interested by that, and also with Jade there was some guilt of not being more present for her, that she could miss me or feeling not worthy because I am not there. So can you help me to look at that with your Light.

The belief that we come from the world, from parents is very strong. It’s the core of the ego thought system, that we’ve made ourselves, that we are the author of ourselves, that’s the authority problem, that the core of the guilt, of the belief in separation. That’s the split, the gap in cause and effect, you believe you made the world and then there’s a reversal of it and you believe the world made you, therefore you can be a victim of it, you cannot be responsible for what “happens to you”. And the forgetting keeps reigning in your kingdom, where you are the god. You’ve taken god’s place, you are all mighty and you have all power on everything around you. But that has a counterpart, which is that you need to protect all that, because you believe you’ve taken it, you are usurping this power and you believe therefore that it can be taken away from you. So you never feel safe, and you keep attacking to protect yourself and what you have, because you don’t know who you are. Believing to be your author, you forgot your True Author, and therefore you denied yourself your Reality, for denying God is denying yourself. Therefore, you made parents on which you project they made you. You are not responsible anymore. You didn’t ask, they did that to you. Therefore you owe them your life, and they are responsible for everything that happen to you, for your unhappiness, your failure, etc… so you are not, it’s because of them, because of what they didn’t give you, it’s because they failed that you fail. But all that is so untrue. You are the one choosing to forget and believe you are separate from God, and they are just part of your dream, showing you what you believe, showing you the way to remember the Truth and you give them the purpose that you want, you see what you want to see in them. They are not different than any of your brother. You just make them more special, and that’s why you feel guilty. You really believe they are real, but they are not more real than any other, they have no other purpose than any of your other brother. They didn’t make you. God created you. You don’t owe them anything, and you are responsible for everything. How you see them, you will see yourself. What you think of them, you will think of yourself. The laws are not different for them. You made them different, but I didn’t, neither the Holy Spirit. You are all the same, the Sons of God. You will see them differently as long as you want to be different, as long as you want to be special to them. You will see them missing you, as long as you want to believe in lack, and seeing them lacking. But remember, the secret is that you do that but to yourself. And you have the power, God’s power, to see it truly. You are Childs of God, and nothing differentiates one from the other. See where and how you still want to be special to them, and you’ll see where you are still bound to remain separate from the Father, where you are still choosing to be who you are not!

Yes, I can see that I still see them mainly unhappy and I want to be different from them, I don’t want to be like them, I want to be the one who succeeds, who is madly happy. That’s the image I’m trying to defend with them it feels. I believe by not being with them I am taking something away from them, I am depriving them of something valuable, of my love, light, therefore I at least have to be happy and I have to prove them that I am happy. It feels like I am betraying them.

You believe it’s personal to you. You believe it’s something that you have found and that other didn’t. You see them different, poor and you see yourself abundant. But it’s in each of you. God is in everyone.

I’m seeing degrees of happiness and seeing degrees of awakening that I measure with the degree of happiness I see in other, and I classify them that way. I don’t see brothers consistently. I still make exception. I see bodies, and levels and I judge them regarding where I see that they are in their awakening, and therefore I separate us. I, myself, forgot that I am a Son of God, so I cannot see my Brothers. I made them up to confirm my dream, and I use them to keep dreaming that I am not what I am, instead of to wake up to Reality, all together. Every time I see a story, that I believe they have a life of themselves, I see them on a time line with step to take yet, and I crucify them and therefore myself, for that’s how I see myself. I don’t overlook the errors, I judge them, and therefore I make them real. I don’t forgive, I crucify! That’s the message I’m teaching myself, that I still have steps to take, that I’m not there yet! But if the Truth is true, and that It’s Eternal, it must be true Now, without any condition! And That is Freedom!

There you are, Armelle, at the Core. The Truth is true, and is true Now, for you and everyone, for we are all in the Mind of God. There is no Reality apart from Him. There is nothing outside His Mind. What you offer to one, you offer it to all. Only Reality in Heaven exists. All else is but an illusion, made by the sleeping mind, that the ego uses to distract you to look within and seeing the Truth, that You are still in God, that You never left, that nothing has changed, because nothing has ever happened. There are no parents, partners, family, people, world! None!

With Love Always
Armelle

Journaling with Jesus April 30th

2011-05-03T01:09:00.000-05:00

April 30^th

Dear Jesus,

Can you tell me why I seem to be so afraid of asking you questions? Why I seem almost to not have any question? I don’t know really what to ask, what to be clear about, what is unclear…

The ego doesn’t want you to ask question that could uncover its unreality. This thought of separation in your mind tries by every mean possible to keep a hang onto you, and therefore doesn’t want you to question what it is. It wants you to keep believing its real, its who you are, its your home. If you were certain of your identity you wouldn’t need to ask any question, but a part of your mind is in doubt and believes it’s separate from God. This part is listening to the voice that speaks for the ego and believes that you are what you are not. That’s all what you need to question, to see through. The ego has clouded your mind with its stories and theories to keep you from questioning the core of its foundation. It keeps you preoccupied in the world so that you wouldn’t go within. It made a lot of distractions that are keeping your mind focused on that instead of on recognizing the Truth. It’s scared of disappearing. But in Reality it has never been. You are not scared of asking questions. It is. You are not the one asking questions, it is. And the Holy Spirit uses that ability to question to meet you and remind you of your true Identity in Heaven, that You never left. Who you are doesn’t need question, but it’s clouded by all what you are not and in which you still believe. And that’s what needs to be questioned. You have to come to see its unreality, so that you can know Your Only True Reality in God, with Me, right Now.

Yesterday I came to see that there is no different problems, that I don’t have a jealousy problem, a relationship problem, an allergy problem, a rhythm problem, a fear of others problem, a pride problem…etc… but that they are all covering over the only problem there is, that I believe I am separate from God and others. Is it enough for healing to occur?

This is Healing Itself! Seeing that nothing outside you is causing you to suffer in any way, that nothing outside you exists at all, has any reality whatsoever! Everything is in the mind, and only there. It’s even not personal to you, it is just in the mind that you share with everyone! There is no specific problem. There is one problem and one solution. And it’s right Now! Separation never happened. You are still in God, dreaming of exile but having never left. Being asleep doesn’t mean you are lost. You are just asleep and need just to wake up. Healing is seeing that only that is true, that none of the images you made and you see are true, that none of the idols and gods you made are real and can have any effect on you. What can an illusion do? Nothing! It simply vanishes when its unreality is seen. It’s that simple. And you are the one having the power to see it right now. There is even no Armelle who could have a problem. The one who you think you are doesn’t exist. So, coming from there, how could it have any problem? They go away when it’s seen that they rest on nothing but a false premise, a fake sense of self that has never been at the first place!

It seems that even if I have little questions that come, the answer is always the same… it comes down to believing I am separate and to see that it is not true and has never been.

Yes! All question lead to that core belief. All concern about anything in the world, about the body, about future outcome or past memories come from that. Seeing through that belief in separation is Healing, is Forgiveness. Nothing has even happened! That’s why I tell you to take no thought for tomorrow, to have no care about what to wear, what to eat, where to go, what to do, where to stay, with whom, etc… Your Reality is in Heaven, in God. That’s the only thing you have to be vigilant for, to put your focus on, until it’s not necessary anymore, because Knowledge has been fully restored to you. “Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all things will be added unto you”. Keep your focus there.

Thank You so much!

With Love Armelle

Journaling with Jesus, intro and April 29th

2011-05-03T01:06:00.000-05:00

Since the beginning of this path, I've been on and off journaling with Jesus. I often felt the Call to, but as soon as I did it, it was so powerful and everything was going so fast, that I faslty became scared and stopped. Then I had resistance to start again, because of how powerful it was. Several weeks ago, I started again, but didn't talk to Jesus, bu to God or my Self, really seeing I was trying to avoid Him. But since being a little girl, I've loved Him so much and have been used to talk to him so much at that time, that I knew I was still resisting;-)))
Last week, after having been made Minister, and having lived the Miracle that followed, the Call was even stronger, and that very same day I wrote Him. And it's such a powerful experience for me...
Erik asked me twice to post it on the blog, but again I could see some resistance to that;-) So today, I journaled about that, and received as answer to share it, for it is not personal to Armelle!

So here is, my journaling of those last days with Jesus. Enjoy...
My question are in normal writing and His answers are in italic!

With Love and Devotion
Armelle

April 29^th

Dear Jesus,

Here I am as I was feeling the Call to, to ask you all the questions that are coming to my mind. First, I want to say that I feel a trembling in the body as taking this step as well as a fear. It’s several days that I feel a deep vulnerability which seems to be very helpful to be reached or even found, when all the walls of protection are down. It’s as if I am constantly washed away from everything I believe is true, and ripped away from inside. I cry so much, and it’s so full of love… Can you tell me something about this,

Armelle, it’s so beautiful to witness that, to see this shift and this opening to the Truth in You. Your burning desire for Being Who You are is making it happen, is restoring Reality to You. In this, you can see, feel that you don’t have to do anything. For the one who would like to do, who thinks it’s the doer could never reach the Truth, it disappears in the face of Truth. So this one constantly wants to do something to interfere with the natural movement of Life coming back to Its Reality. So all what’s falling away is the inteference, the untrue, the unnecessary. You are pealing away the layers that you don’t need, for Who You are is Everything, and doesn’t need anything external to be That. So the one who is vulnerable is not You. It’s again a defense, another face of the same illusion. You are totally Unvulnerable. Stay there, and let the trembling be the trembling, you are not that either. You are That which never trembles before anything, That which encompasses everything.

Thank you.

I have a question. Are you really Jesus?

(laughter – deep feeling of Love showering my Being) I couldn’t be. For Where I am, there is no personal, there is no name, there is no definite form. What I am is What You are, and that’s from this point of view that I am talking to you, to that part of You. I am talking to my Self, from the Self. So in Truth, no I am not. But for a helpful point of view, yes I am. I am the Voice that once was his, and Who is known for having accomplished, or recognizde the Truth, for having seen the Christ in every of his Brothers and known himself as the Son of God. And that’s from this experience that I can join with you, for I know what you are going through, therefore I can help you to not fall in the trap of the illusion, for I have been there myself, once believing it was real. But I’ve seen it’s not, and that’s what I want to share with you and everyone. In Truth, I, You have never been like this. We have never been these bodies, these stories. Never. It has only been a dream that the mind believed. But it’s already over now. It’s just playing that again, but you are none of it, NONE.

So what is the purpose of my relationship with Erik?

Remembering the Truth. Seeing the Christ in him, as it is for all your relationships. This one is just the one to which you gave the purpose of joining in the Truth, in remembrance of the Father, of the One You are. It is the one you gave yourself fully to, so that you may know Who You are, and waking up to Reality. It’s your mighty companion, as I am. Except that he seems to be there on earth with you, and that I seem to be in your mind. But truly that’s where we are both, as well as the idea you have yourself and of the world. It’s just in your mind. None of it exists in a solid form, in matter. There is no matter, for there is nothing outside the mind. So, forgive all the images you see, that you may know what is beyond them.

Ok, but how am I suppose to know when something is right and when it’s not, when I am supposed to surrender to what’s happening and when I am called to stay in the certainty? Is it possible that I will be called to not go with what he says or does and staying in what I feel?

(shower of love)You don’t have to know anything! You can totally forget everything you think you know for that’s what will be in the way of following fully my Guidance. So all the ideas you have about what you are supposed to do or not do, when you are supposed to surrender or staying in the certainty, to be straight or following the flow… let all that go. It’s all false, anyway. All the ways you think to answer to anything he might do or say are false, fake. They are covering the Truth. You don’t have to answer anything nor react in any particular way. You don’t have to know anything, for there is only one way to answer, and it’s by Love. It comes down to only One Answer, which solves every perceived “problem”. So the first step is to come to that Love that You are. And from there, the way to act will be given to you. Pause first. Don’t let the mind engage in any way, before you take that pause! Learn to do that, until Love will be your only answer!

I believe I have to understand the words, to be attentive and understand what people are saying in order to be able to answer them. So when I imagine that I don’t need to know anything, it means to me I don’t even need to know the language and I might still be saying something. And if I don’t understand, how will I know that I answered to what they say.

You have it all backwards! You think you need to answer to what they say, because you think that words are the answer. But I just told you that the Only Answer to anything is Love. So it doesn’t matter what they say. It doesn’t matter if you talk or not. Just give Love. Just Be Love. That’s all what they are really asking for, as you are. All questions, no matter what they are, are always and only a call for Love. For if there is a question, there has been a forgetting of your true identity, and only What You are can remind you What You are. And That is Love. There is no question in Heaven. Everything is Complete and in constant Communication. There is no need for anything, no doubt, nothing lacking. Everything Is. The only way for you to know that what I’m telling you is true is to try… to experience it. So from now on, just focus on Love, not on the words, only on the Presence within. Don’t listen to the words anymore but to Me, to the Spirit within, and trust the words will come effortlessly in your mouth if there is a need for it. Don’t pretend you know what your brother needs, for you don’t. And doing so would be trying to take My Place. As long as your mind is split, you cannot know anything, you can only call on Me or the Holy Spirit for the Answer.

I am with you, forever in Love.

Jesus, why do I keep being jealous?

Because you keep believing you’re separate from God. Therefore you see bodies and are in competition with all of them, for you are in competition with God that you see outside you. You want to have His Place. You believe you are the author of yourself and therefore God cannot exist. So you are in a constant war with yourself, against what you know is true, and what you try to convince yourself. You know that you cannot have created yourself. Everyone knows it, that’s why they keep searching for the beginning of time, the beginning of the creation, but they look for it in time, instead of accepting God as the Only Author, out of time. Your Reality is not in time, not on earth, but in Heaven, in God, where Only You are. There is no life outside Heaven, outside the Mind of God, where You abide. There is NO compromise possible Armelle. You MUST accept the Truth. You cannot be on both sides, you cannot serve two masters. Your Happiness lies in that. You have to accept It!

I am so sad, because I’d like so much to be further than where I am. I’d like to experience NOW being in God.

Only the thought that you are not in Him right Now is what is causing you to feel separate. And even with that thought in your mind, you are not separate from Him, you just experience yourself to be, because you make the experience of a self that is separate, that believes itself being the all mighty, but can only be lonely. The one who is sad is not you, so don’t let him deceiving you. You have to be far much more vigilant than that with your mind wandering. You allow far too much to be what you are not!! An untrained mind can accomplish nothing! Stay in the Miracle. You are in God right Now and forever. For without Him, you are not at all, you are nothing.

Come into your Function, I will perform Miracles through you!

2011-05-02T20:36:00.001-05:00

Last Tuesday around 1pm, I received a call from Kirsten. Erik and I just left the house and were on our way for a three day trip by ourselves, which felt as an opportunity to have a cocoon to go deeper in the undoing of the specialness in our relationship.

It was five or six days that we both felt a deep shift in the relationship and were both feeling disorientated by that change but also felt it was for the better good and part of the undoing. On Sunday I really fell on my knees, totally helpless not knowing what to do and being in such an unknown "territory". On Monday, I prayed so much Jesus to show me the way, that I couldn't do it by myself, that I wasn't seeing clearly... deep surrender. There was such a deep sadness living this shift, and in the same time a deeper quietness too. Looking at all the concepts in my mind regarding our relationship, marriage, self-concept, etc... there was more and more a feeling of emptiness and not knowing... Deep down I could admit that my True Desire wasn't really to BE Erik's wife, but to BE Who I am, to serve God, to give FULLY my life over to Him so that I may know Reality. So here I was praying silently to be shown...

Kirsten's call was His Answer! Two days earlier they had sent an email to the MMT participants for the yearly participation as a member of the Church and as a Minister if we had the Calling to be one. To which I asked some more informations. And following my email, she felt asking directly to David and Lisa if I could already be a Minister now, being a participant of the MMT program, living in Divine Providence and having fully devoted my life to God, and being involved in projects and being close to the Church. To which they answered: YES! So to my BIG surprise (I wasn't expecting anything) she was calling me to tell me the good news! I was speechless... in between bursting into laughter and crying from the depth of my heart, in Gratitude to God. There it was... the Answer to my unspoken prayer, the prayer of the Heart. Here He was.... showing me The Way, telling me "I know your true Desire is not really to be Erik's wife, so here I am, showing You the Way... Come into Your Function! Take my Ministry! You're on the right track, and I am here with You, as I've ever been!"

Three hours later, we were walking in this little town where we were spending three days. I felt before leaving the hotel the taste of coffee in my mouth, so we decided to go and have a coffee. Everything in this town seemed so different to me, as if we were 40 or 50 years back. It was so strange. Once served, we sat on table at the entrance of the coffee shop. Soon, a guy entered. He had no shirt, was covered of tatoos all over his body, and seemed like lost, as if he was looking for something. He came to us. He was drunk and had some difficulty to talk. I started to have some fear. He asked us if we had a cell phone that he could borrow. Immediately Erik answered yes. I was still with a fear of what might happen. As soon as I gave him the cell phone, I felt that I didn't want to stay in this fear. I didn't want seeing him like this. I felt it was such a great opportunity for me to wash away my beliefs about people looking like him, or about alcohol, or fear or futur, and fully being in the Moment and seeing him as Jesus. I remembered that miracle experience I had in Costa Rica last year, and started to repeat in my mind "you are me, I am you, you are perfect as you are and I love you". Very soon my mind shifted, and I was so determined to see Jesus in him, that I was seeing him, so pure and innocent. He was trying to reach his probation officer, but couldn't. And he seemed a bit worry about that. He talked, but I couldn't understand what he was saying, which felt very helpful to me, so that I was fully in the Moment, distracted by nothing. He thank us and shaked Erik's hand. Then he came to me and shaked mine. At that moment, I received a rush of Love pouring through me. I couldn't let go of his hand. I pressed it in my two hands this time, and looked at him in the eyes, telling him "everything's gonna be ok". I don't know how it came! But at that moment, it felt as if time stopped. No noise, nothing was going on! As if we were frozen. He then stepped back, thank us again, and seemed confused, and so different. I was also so deeply touched, I couldn't speak, and finally cried. What a Miracle! Three hours after having been made a Minister of God, here I was, fully used in my Function!

Since then, there is such a deep shift... I cannot express how grateful I am for this Moment!
And I deeply feel that through sharing this, it's the sharing of the Call that we all have deep down! Through that sharing, it's a reminder that right Now we can say YES!

With Love Eternally
Armelle

The Resurrection is underway!

2011-04-24T17:53:00.003-05:00

Today, it feels like the world is being undone in my mind at a faster and faster pace. Armelle and I have been invited by our dear friend and mentor, David Hoffmeister, to begin a journey that feels like a major next step in our Awakening. We will fly to Cincinnati in a few weeks to join with David there briefly, then borrow his car to drive across the country towards Utah. Along the way, we will share some gatherings wherever invited, as well as play music at a gathering David's doing in Kansas City along the way. In Utah, we'll spend the summer at a house near the Living Miracles Monastery with some dear friends of ours, Sarah and Thomas, who are also deeply devoted to using their marriage as a means of Awakening to Truth. Being so close to the Monastery, we will be surrounded by symbols of devotion and other "mighty companions" which will support the mind-training and ascent towards consistent Joy!

For now, we’re still here at my parents house in Petaluma, CA, and these past six months here have been so healing and helpful for us in our journey. Being around my family has certainly flushed up so many of the “family issues” that have bound us to the ego's thought system, and Armelle and I have been “mighty companions” to each other in the undoing of specialness and “people pleasing”. It feels like my relationship to my biological family has become more authentic and honest. The old self-concept of Erik as "the son, brother, nephew, cousin, etc.." has been getting slowly washed away by the Spirit Who has offered me a Loving alternative in every seeming situation in which I was tempted to play an old family-related "role" out of guilt. I’ve learned to peacefully say “no” to invitations to various family functions and parties that I was traditionally expected to attend (such as the Easter celebration at my aunt’s house today that we simply didn't feel Guided to go to), and to trust that even if it appears that certain people are disappointed on the surface, deep down there is a REJOICING in each mind when I refuse to compromise on what my Heart is telling me. (NOTE: The day after I wrote this blog post, I found a newly uploaded video of David discussing this very topic - saying "no" lovingly, especially in relationship to biological family invitations! I've included it below for those who are interested...:-)

The move to live near the Monastery with Sarah and Thomas feels like a huge step in our spiritual Awakening. It is one step closer towards living in spiritual community, which feels symbolic of entering the Kingdom of Heaven and being fully surrounded by symbols of devotion 100% of the time. I cannot express how good that feels! Even though it sometimes feels a bit scary at the same time, knowing that my ego will no longer have any wiggle room, there is a over-riding sense of profound Peace. It is a sense of Freedom and Joyfulness, and all I can do is trust that when this undoing is complete in my mind, there will be nothing but a Happy recognition that we’ve all been released together and that to give up this world was literally to give up NOTHING!

So on this Easter Day, I wish you, my brother or sister, a Joyful and gentle Awakening… a happy Resurrection of our Unified Mind to the Awareness of Christ in God!

Blessings of Love forever,
Erik

P.S. Here is the video from David about learning to let the Holy Spirit lovingly say "no" through you:

Through the darkness to the Light

2011-03-13T14:06:00.000-06:00

Oh my God, I don't know how to express all what I'm living... It's a moment by moment miracle, in the most simple things of daily life, in everything, in each moment...

My life is shifting so deeply, it's so wonderful, and I feel I want to share, extend the fruits of it to everyone...

Right before the conference in San Francisco, I've been in a hermitage for one week, which has been very deep and revelatory of a lot of fears, beliefs, ego patterns. The morning of the conference, I went into a deep insecurity and fear, that went on and off all along the week-end. The encounters there, the invitations to play some music with Erik for some presenters at the conference were offering me to be in Service, in my Function, it was so fabulous. And also coming in touch with the resistences that I never shared before as I did this week-end, which was fabulous to expose.

Came then a huge phase of very deeply rooted fears, jealousy, rage, anger and murderous thoughts. It felt as if I was at the core of the split mind, watching, feeling the depth and the heaviness of the darkness playing on and on in my mind. It felt as if I didn't stop falling. Every day a bit more. Exposing the shame to Erik, the fears, allowing all the hidden private thoughts that I was keeping for myself to come up and exposing them, speaking up all what I've been keeping since our marriage by fear of being rejected. We spent hours sitting side by side, sharing all our private thoughts and judgements on each others, all what was keeping us from joining in a deeper way, holding the Presence for the other, receiving everything in the Love. Living those two last weeks in a deep intimacy, spending a lot of hours just laying down in the arms of each others, without a word, just sinking into the Love. As my last song says it "No need for more".

Falling so much, I couldn't keep the game of "doing it myself" going on. I had to lay down the mask of being strong, independant, proud, I know what's best for me, as well as the leader in me... I had to ask Erik for help, to be Present, and start to trust him in a deeper way exposing all the fears of doing so again and again. I had to stop blaming anyone I was still blaming even a little for what I was experiencing or had been, stop resisting to healing too.

I've asked for the undoing of the specialness, for taking this journey to the end... and here, everything was given to me to go deeper.. Fear of 'losing' him, fear of him leaving, of him being with someone else, humiliation... all those self concepts of Armelle being the first, the most popular, such a beautiful girl... trembling, undoing.
All that made me face a deeper fear, fear of becoming crazy, of not being able to take that and ending in a mental hospital as my grand-mother and all the darkness in my mind taking the place of the light and that I become schizophrenic as her. Wow, a revelation. As all that was faced, I was seeing myself in that mental hospital, as a little girl, feeling everything I was seeing in her at that time. Suddenly the barrier between her and I disappear and I was the one in the mental hospital, experiencing the fear of being alone, of staying there with those people, the shame, the longing for being loved, heard, understood, seen, the feeling of abandonment every time that we the my grand-father (her husband) was leaving to go back home and that she was begging him to take her home... all that was me, not her.. her felt totally sane, and healed even at the end. At that moment, a shift happened where I could see all the other people onto which I was projecting blame or jealousy merging in me too, there was no barrier anymore, no separation. They were all symbols for me to see what is in my mind, what is blocking the total awareness of the Truth of who I am.
I saw all my mighty companions on which at some point I've been projecting different kinds of emotions or blocks in the light. I felt such a release.

Later on that day, I was in touch with the deep fear of God, with all the anger, with what I was still believing unconsciously about God, how he is an angry god, rageful, who had been punishing me a lot along my life and who just wants to kill me and that's why I cannot stay quiet too long, or go too deeply into the quietness, because he wants me dead! I was seeing him as a very dark monster. I had a lot of evidences in my life of all that for sure, of how he has been punishing me again and again, how he didn't love me otherwise all what I've been living wouldn't have happened, etc... I had no idea I was thinking that about God. All what I knew is that I had had moment of deep resistences to the Course, to forgiveness too...
It was so fabulous to see all that.

That evening, Erik and I have been guided to watch "the last exorcism". It felt so joyful to me. After having gone through so much darkness in my mind, it felt light to watch an horror movie;-) Also I felt there was a gift for me in this watching, a release, the end of the process of the day! And so was it! This movie allowed me a deeper awareness of the split and the watching of those very dark murderous thoughts in my mind, and the strong feeling associated with it. I was watching all that after the movie, and allowed everything to come up. It was so intense! So intense that it forced me to totally surrender and ask for help to Jesus, it was the "stop resisting". I became so scared of those thoughts that the only way out of that was to stop resisting the healing process, stop resisting life and what is, as it is, stop blaming, taking full responsibility where I wasn't doing it fully yet and opening to a even deeper trust, where it was still vacillating. I asked Jesus to walk through that dark murderous cloud with me. At some point, he told me "I just want you to focus on my love... feel my love coming into you, feel that and only that" And so I did, and it felt that He was carrying me the whole process. I had nothing to do but feeling His love and letting me be carried until I saw the light and the darkness faded away. It was such an incredible sensation of lightness.

I also went through the deep shame. Which started by sexual shame, shame around seduction, about the body, about certain parts of the body, shame about the way it had been used in the past, and ended in the shame coming from that sense of lack and then the shame of being human!

I've never been feeling so much than those two last weeks... and falling in a well without any bottom, a constant free fall, which took away so much... pride, arrogance, resistences, preferences, desires...

I came to see how much I've been resisting to fully being with Erik, how much I've been scared, how much I wanted to be somewhere else, with someone else even sometimes... but it has been so perfect! That deep intimacy that we experience is so wonderful, all what I wanted, that intimacy opens to being so intimate with God, with my Self without fearing as before.

I've been so afraid of my mighty companions that I didn't want to join with them and it has been such a gift, for the only thing I needed to do was stopping resisting to what has been given to me, in a deeper way that I could imagine and letting me fall... in the arms of Erik, in the arms of God. Becoming so true with myself, that I felt so vulnerable, without any defenses... and so, so available to receive Love, God's Love.

Feeling like a little girl who doesn't know anything, who has to ask for any decision, who has no clue of what's best and no desire for leading anything.
"Let yourself be cared for..." the Spirit told me... "allow it... be just a little girl, you don't need to know" wow, such a shift. It has been so scary for me, and here I am... It feels there's only one way to go.... following Erik... one thing to do... singing! Single Purpose, One and only... Washing away all the other desires!

Also Erik and I have been feeling the guidance that a road trip is coming in for us... we don't know when yet, neither how that will unfold. We just have the sense that it will be in California and Texas for now... We don't have a car, but it feels that we don't have to know yet, all will be given at the perfect time in order for us to do our Father's work, to spread our Father's words, to share our Father's Love... And that feels really exciting. We've also been feeling that our path leads us to offer holy relationships gatherings and workshops, as well as focusing on the music for now, and that feels sooooooooooo good!!

This journey is so miraculous, so incredible... every shift in mind seems like a miracle!

Yesterday, I joined with Helena. I wanted to share with her some private thoughts and a grievance I was still holding secretly against her, which has come up very strongly those after the conference and pushed me to go deeper in my mind. Having seen the Truth, I felt joining with her as a symbol of choosing Love instead of fear, not wanting to be afraid neither ashamed about whatever was going on in my mind. The release came when all the barriers in my mind collapsed after watching "the last exorcism". The day after, I picked myself having some fear yet, so I looked and saw I didn't want to let go of the grief for it would mean that I had been wrong since Mallorca 2009, that I could have chosen differently back then and that I decided to delay because of fear, pride and resistences. So I decided I had delayed enough, and that it was time to let go of it.... I wrote all my thoughts, and gave them over, so certain in myself. Not even 5 minutes later, Helena had sent me an email, extending her love and joy and gratitude to walk with me on this path! It felt to me like another miracle... definitely showing me my shift in mind!
Yesterday, the call was filled with Joy, Love and laughter too... another reflection of my choice for God and Holy Relationship.
At the end of the call she shared that David and her talked about the possibility for Erik and I to go and live at David's Peace House in Cincinatti, and benefiting from the car and the central situation to extend and share the gifts of the Spirit. wow, it felt so good.
Nothing has been decided, and we'll see how that unfold, but it certainly feels more and more in purpose for us. After sharing my private thoughts about my preferences, I start to feel the Joy of living in such a devoted place and having a place to offer whoever feels joining with us to come and stay with us for a while.

Also yesterday night, Erik and I had such a beautiful and deep discussion about our Purpose together which feels clearer and clearer, as we let go of the blocks. It is really clear that we are used as a symbol of Holy Relationship and that we will be sharing in gathering, workshops or retreat about that topic. Also we came to the point that we are both really clear that we are meant to sing together all our songs, and going on undoing the desire for independance as well as the feeling of superiority and Erik's old identity as a musician and entertaining everyone, which doesn't feel that good for him anymore. And this is so full of Joy for both of us. We had several moments last week where the singing felt merging into one voice, as we were so much connected.

We sang together later and came into that deep communion, where each of us is expressing his Heart, the way it feels the truest, and it felt like another moment of ectasy for me, and the Bliss poured through, drugged by Life, Love.

This night, I had a profound experience, revealing more and more that Oneness, the lifting of the veils... It was in the middle of the night and I was sleeping, but I felt so awake.... it wasn't like if I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep and was thinking, I was sleeping as still sooooo awake. It wasn't like Armelle was awake, but I was awake, what I am in Truth was awake to Its Reality, and everything was collapsing, all the barriers and separations were vanishing, and there was only light, no separation, everyone was me, nothing was apart from anything. It was as if there was nothing anymore, and in the same time everything. No image, but a deep sense of fullness.
When I woke up in the morning, I woke up filled by that Bliss, full of energy and inspiration.

With Love

Armelle

Practicing Holy Relationship videos

2011-03-06T13:35:00.001-06:00

Recently, David Hoffmeister and his partner, Helena, came to visit Armelle and I here in northern California and the four of us did a 3-hour gathering in San Anselmo called "Practicing Holy Relationship". It was a joy-filled gathering held at Sleepy Hollow Presbyterian Church with about 30 to 40 people, all about how to apply the teachings of Jesus to relationships, especially "couple" type relationships.

I videotaped the entire gathering, and I was inspired to start uploading the videos (there are 7 parts) to YouTube so that they would be freely available to anyone wanting to go deeper into that topic. If you're interested in watching them, you can click here to go to Part 1:

http://www.youtube.com/user/erikarchbold?feature=mhum#p/u/7/Pq_5y_ELfkI

Enjoy!
Erik

Living Emptiness

2011-01-28T00:34:00.003-06:00

I see pictures everywhere... I see Beauty everywhere...
I don't know anything, and that's such a great place to Be...
Something is living me, and I don't know what it is, but I know that It Is...
What is a picture?
Is Beauty in what I see? What is Beauty? Can it be beyond what those eyes see?
Where is it located? Can it be what is there in front of me? Does it have a special shape or name? Is there really a word to define it?
Or can it be without any shape, nor name? Can it be seen, or is it invisible to the body's eyes? Where is it? Does it have a location?
What are those pictures about?
What if it wasn't what it seems to be?
What if it wasn't about all those names given to all those things? What if there was an other meaning that the one we are used to?
What if the real picture, is the one that you feel in your Heart, beyond the image your eyes see?
What if our whole Life was about that... about feeling, "seeing", what is beyond...in what is right in front of us?
How can we know that it's not? Can we be certain?
What is photography about? Can it be just about images of places or people?
What if every picture is about a journey inward, in the core of your Being?
What if it was just a reflection of the deepest part of you... a reflection of what has no name, no shape, no word...?

When I take my camera and point somewhere, there is space... everywhere. It seems to be about something specific, but actually, it is everywhere. "I" disappear, not knowing how, nor when, and only remains what you can see here, what is seen through the lens of that "Infinite Love", or rather that nameless Presence. It seems to be about people or landscape, but it is far beyond that, and it is in that. It's about what has no beginning and no end, what cannot start, neither finish. It takes me totally and leads me nowhere, but still I never come back at the same place. It's a journey inward, and it's first of all mine... forgetting everything, even that I could be the one doing all that, and being taken over by what Is. It's a Moment, out of time, where only That remains... that Living Emptiness... Only That...

I'm trying to find words to describe it, but there is none... I can only be it, but not talk about it... There is a deep deep deep feeling present, on which that either there is no word to put on... for I don't know, and in the same time, I do...

It is everything, and everywhere, and it is nothing and nowhere, It just Is.

This is what all this is about... discovering that... remembering that... that deep and fabulous Mystery that we are...

That Emptiness is living me through, leaving me more full than ever... what is there yet? What is there more? What if it was All there Is?

What is the real meaning of all this?
Can it just be a photography?

... Come and enter the Mystery, your inward Mystery...

Armelle
----------------------

Erik: I felt inspired to just add a link below to Armelle's photography website, on which she originally posted what you just read.

Her photography is something that I find deeply touching, for she has a profound gift for seeing life in a way that beautifully symbolizes Heaven. Much like listening to inspirational music, reading poetry, or practicing inner-dance, I've found gazing at her still photos to be yet another way for me to connect with God.

Here is a link to her photography website where you can experience her photography for yourself. Enjoy...

http://armellearchbold.jimdo.com

Going on Holy Spirit autopilot

2011-01-26T00:19:00.003-06:00

There's such a wonderful shift happening in me and I feel so blessed! A sense of total Peace which truly does "passeth all understanding"...

I'm in Canada right now with Armelle, staying at our friend Sandy Deby's house in Cowichan Bay on Vancouver Island, and I'm deeply at peace right now. It's just amazing to see how this "fairy-tale-like dream" of mine continues unfolding so effortlessly and joyfully, always reminding me that I'm TOTALLY taken care of!

We had our first "Practicing Holy Relationship" gathering last night here at Sandy's house and it was such a beautiful example of how everything can unfold without effort when we "step back and let Spirit lead the way". There were about 10 or so people at the gathering, and it felt like such a deep experience of joining in the Truth.

Armelle and I shared from our hearts many of our experiences these past 15 months (yesterday was our 15 month anniversary!) including how we were Guided to get married, many of the lessons we've had to learn since then, and the way we are using this relationship for healing. I also shared a couple of the songs that came through me last year after being guided to let go of my hypnotherapy career in order to devote my life to music and God. It was very powerful for me to watch how everything seemed to just flow through both of us so easily, and how everyone seemed so genuinely moved, touched, and inspired by all that we shared.

Before the gathering, I had been feeling some nervousness about whether I would do a "good job" of letting myself be used by the Spirit without getting in my own way. I've been getting better at noticing when I am sometimes speaking out of a hidden fear of "awkward silences", and learning to surrender to the Silence and simply let it be instead of trying to cover it over. And during the gathering, there were definitely lots of silent moments to practice with! During those silences, it's like my ego starts to project it's fear onto others and convince me that they are feeling uncomfortable with the silence. But really, I'm learning, since it's all my dream, it's just another opportunity for me to realize that there isn't anyone else "out there"; they are all simply mirroring my own unfounded fear, and giving me the opportunity to surrender into trust once again.

So the whole experience was definitely another wonderful step in deepening my trust in the Spirit, which I'm realizing is what EVERY moment is for now! It was another step in undoing the belief that gatherings are a "special circumstance" that I have to plan for or organize or facilitate. I'm learning to trust that I truly need not plan or organize ANYTHING... and that when I'm supposed to speak or do something, it will simply happen THROUGH me automatically and with a feeling of Inspiration rather than obligation. EVERYTHING, including even the words to speak and the actions to take, are just Given...

It's like being on Holy Spirit autopilot! I even noticed that, during the gathering as I was surrendering deeper and deeper, that my head was automatically being turned FOR me! As people were sharing or asking questions, I was noticing my head starting to turn automatically towards whomever was speaking without any sense of being the one doing it. This experience was allowing me to totally let go of the belief that "I need to be polite by looking at whoever is speaking" and just trust that the Spirit would turn my head and keep my eyes open for me if that was would be most Helpful. I'm also finding that I don't even have to concentrate on or understand the words that are being spoken. I can just let my mind totally relax and listen to the Silence beyond what is being said, and if a response is appropriate, the words will just automatically come out of my mouth. It can all happen without any idea of what I'm going to say in advance, and it's such a sense of ease and relaxation!

This state seems to be becoming much more consistent now, transferring to all the various types of "situations" that seem to arise. As I allow my mind to relax into the Emptiness more and more of the time, unlearning everything from the past, there's a trust arising which tells me that I never need to have a clue about anything ever again! I can just watch my life as if it were a movie, with no sense of attachment or investment, knowing that in reality, it doesn't mean anything.

There is less and less concern about money, about the future, about how this whole adventure called "Erik and Armelle's life" will unfold... there's just Peace. I know it's all been scripted by the part of my mind that Loves me unconditionally and has the sole intention of waking me up to Reality in the most loving, gentle, beautiful, and joyous way possible!

In Gratitude that is continuously expanding...
Erik

Holy Spirit pouring through Armelle

2011-01-21T10:09:00.009-06:00

Recently, Armelle did a Paltalk session for ACIM Gather which touched me very deeply. In fact, while she was doing it and I was sitting across from her in our meditation room, it felt to me like the Holy Spirit was pouring through so strongly that there simply was no "Armelle" anymore... just pure Joy coming through. Very powerful...

So after searching all over the internet to figure out how to embed audios in a blog I finally just figured it out this morning! I therefore am happy to now offer you the opportunity to deeply take in her joyful Paltalk session that I found so moving! Enjoy!
Love, Erik

Jan 16th, 2011 Paltalk session:

Or if you wish to download the mp3 to your computer, here's the link to it:
https://sites.google.com/site/sharingloveworldtour/home/Armelle011611.mp3

More About Inner Dance

2011-01-14T20:45:00.006-06:00

Recently, Armelle has been feeling a strong Call to start offering Inner Dance sessions more regularly, both in person as well as over Skype. Therefore we felt prompted to write an inspiring description for people about what Inner Dance is, the purpose of it, and what is specifically being offered. Here it is...

What is Inner Dance? Inner Dance is a deep and slow “movement meditation” in which we allow ourselves to be “danced through” by the Spirit within. It is about surrendering deeply to the Present Moment, letting go of self-judgment, and giving ourselves permission to just relax completely. With music as a gentle backdrop, we sink deeper into our physical/emotional experience and allow the body to move (or not move) in whatever way it naturally and effortlessly wants to. Various feelings or emotions may arise during the dance, and we try to allow them to arise fully and without judgment so that they may “wash through“ us. As we move deeper inward through this Inner Dance practice and release the layers of self-judgment, our experience becomes more and more that of being the Still Observer within. From that peaceful perspective, we find ourself simply watching the body movements happening without any sense of being the one making the movements happen. In other words, we undo the sense of being the “doer”, and thus learn that we are not the dancer, but the Awareness in which the dance is experienced.

What is required to practice Inner Dance? Nothing is required to practice Inner Dance except a genuine curiosity for discovering Who You Are in truth, and a willingness to open up to an experience of total non-judgment. It is about releasing everything you thought you knew about dance, and learning to surrender into your True Nature. The practice of Inner Dance can guide us through the layers of our false self into a deep inner Silence, which we are invited to explore and accept as Home.

What is an Inner Dance session like? Generally, we start the Inner Dance session with a short prayer or a guided meditation to help come in touch with our “inner body” and any feelings there. We then turn on some music, which is usually of a soft, instrumental type such as New Age or Classical music. Sinking into the music, we merely surrender and allow movement (or non-movement) to arise in whatever way feels effortless and helpful. The sessions generally last 45 minutes to an hour, followed by a brief period of deep silence and meditation in order cherish and nurture the state of Stillness that was discovered during the dance. We then end the session with an “expression session“ (group sharing circle) in which everyone is invited to express anything they feel moved to express.

How can I participate in an Inner Dance session? I offer several different ways for you to participate in or experience an Inner Dance session for yourself:

- One-on-One Inner Dance session, where the Inner Dance can be used to come in touch with any feelings that may want to arise so that they may be released. Through our shared Purpose of healing, any and all feelings or emotions are deeply welcomed into awareness, so that they can be looked at with Love and transformed into Light.

- Two Hour Inner Dance Gathering - You may host an evening gathering at your home or elsewhere, as a way of discovering Inner Dance for yourself and introducing it to others. The gathering would begin with an informal talk, and end with a group “expression session” to encourage the sharing of any thoughts or feelings that arose during the dance.

- Inner Dance Group - If you are several persons who are interested in organizing a regular (i.e. weekly) Inner Dance group in a set location, simply contact me and we can explore that possibility together as well.

- Inner Dance retreat lasting anywhere from a weekend to several days - These retreats have as their purpose a deep communion with our Essence through the dance and through a willingness to honor the Silence within. The combination of dance and Silence allows whatever inner blocks or repressed emotions to arise and be released. In the retreat, we are lovingly encouraged to recognize that difficult emotions cannot be escaped; they can only be faced directly and allowed to dissolve in the light of our awareness. No effort is required other than a willingness to experience our emotions and let them wash through our consciousness. Throughout the retreat, several talks and “expression sessions” will be also be held to encourage and accelerate the healing process.

- Skype Inner Dance Joining - Wherever you happen to be in the world, we can transcend all time/space differences and have an Inner Dance session via Skype! This is possible both for one-on-one as well as group sessions. Just call or email me if you are interested and we can set up a time to talk about the details. My Skype user name is: armellesix.

I love you!

Armelle

Armellesix@yahoo.fr

1-707-364-0957

Upcoming Gatherings

2011-01-02T13:17:00.004-06:00

No new gatherings are scheduled for now. We'll post them here as well as on Facebook when we next have something scheduled.
Love,
Erik

Merry Christmas letter

2010-12-28T01:25:00.007-06:00

A few days ago, the day before Christmas Eve, I was feeling a lot of conflict in relationship to my extended family and friend network - you know, all the people I've grown up with and who have known me for a long time. There had been all kinds of holiday parties going on that I hadn't felt inspired to go to, and I was feeling a bit guilty about that. My dad expressed that he was feeling sad that Armelle and I weren't sharing ourselves with everyone, and he expressed concern that we were denying them and ourselves the joy of connecting.

The greatest source of my conflict, however, was the fact that I wasn't sure if I was even feeling inspired to go to the big, traditional Christmas Eve and Christmas Day parties with the whole family! I felt a strong feeling of obligation to go and to share Armelle with everyone, but Armelle wasn't feeling very inspired to be amongst all my family, and I mostly just wanted to be with her and do whatever she wanted to do. Yet, the pressure I was putting on myself (but thinking was coming from the family) to attend the traditional dinners felt SO huge that I had a major conflict in my mind!

To resolve the conflict, the first thing I did was talk everything through with Armelle and with some other "mighty companions", and I came to the realization that the most gentle thing for me to do would be to just decide on definitely going to the Christmas Eve party, whether Armelle was going to join me or not. As it turned out, she decided to not go with me to that party, but the next day she got the prompt to go with me to the big Christmas party if I wanted to, which ended up being a wonderful time!

The other thing I did to resolve the conflict I'd been feeling though, was to write a Christmas letter to my entire network of family and friends, just to share with them exactly what's going on with me these days and how I'm doing. This was actually my dad's idea, as he had been having a difficult time knowing what to say to friends and family of ours who, at these holiday parties that I was skipping, were asking him what I was up to these days. Most of them knew that my life had gone through a radical shift in the past year, that I'd gotten gotten married and was on some sort of spiritual path, but (I assume) they were wondering, "Now that he's back in town, what is he doing, and why isn't here at this party??"

Lol... or maybe that's all just MY projection, since I think I'm so darn special... ;-)

Anyway, my dad asked me if I'd be willing to write an email to everyone explaining what I was up to, so that if they asked him, he could just whip the letter out of his pocket and have them read it! At first, I didn't like this idea, but then I felt it was really a prompt from the Spirit to get clear within myself about who I am now in relationship with my past network of family and friends. I had been feeling a bit of embarrassment about my "radical" spiritual path, and not knowing quite how to explain it to certain people when they asked, and so this would be my opportunity to clarify all of that, not just for them but for myself.

So after many hours of composing the letter on my laptop, I ended up sending an email to virtually EVERYONE I KNOW... expressing exactly what I'm up to now and what my life is all about now. And it felt so, SO GOOD!!! It was like a huge "enrollment conversation" (for those of you who know Landmark Education terminology), wherein I was completely releasing myself from who I had been with them in the past, and enrolling everyone in Who I Am NOW!

After I hit 'send' on the email, I could feel something HUGE shifting inside of me. It was the same as when I've shared private thoughts in the past with a mighty companion in order to release them from my mind. I no longer had to hide my spirituality anymore. It was like coming out of the closet! And later, when I ended up going to the Christmas parties and seeing everyone, I received lots of wonderful expressions of gratitude from them for having updated them on my life these days. I also received lots of replies to the email, all expressing gratitude for having shared myself so fully. Overall, it was one of the most healing things I've done lately!

So thank you, Holy Spirit through my dad, for prompting me to write this letter and to free myself from the past! I now stand in certainty that I can proudly proclaim my True Purpose in life to anyone and everyone who wants to know!

Here is the letter I wrote, in case you want to read it...

Dear Family & Friends,

I just wanted to write you all a Christmas letter to express how much I love you! Some of you I haven‘t seen or spoken to you in quite some time, but I wanted you to know how grateful I am for who you‘ve been to me in my life. I know I’ve been a bit of a recluse lately since Armelle and I got back to the States, and that many of you have been wondering “where’s Waldo?”, but I just wanted to reassure you that I’m doing well! I’m not as social as I once was - much more quiet and contemplative now - but I'm full of happiness, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to simply share with you a bit of what’s going on in my life these days.

As most of you know, my life has gone through quite a radical change this past year and a half. It began last April 2009 when I became inspired to take a leap of faith; to give up my hypnotherapy career, sell my house and 99% of my possessions, and devote my life fully to being a traveling minstrel for God, just going where invited and trusting in the Hands of Life to lead and support me in every way. For several months, I simply traveled where invited, wrote and played songs about my spiritual journey, and deepened in my faith that living this way was really possible and sustainable.

Then in October last year, an incredible miracle happened when Armelle, who I’d heard of through friends in our spiritual community but never met personally, called me one day to share that she felt she was receiving Divine Guidance that we were to be married in 15 days! Strangely, I felt a deep sense of peace and joy wash over me when she shared this news, even though I knew very little about her. When we got off the phone, I felt a war beginning to rage between my head and my heart. Actually it was only my head that was doing the fighting, while my heart was experiencing an Absolute Certainty that was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. I knew within a half an hour of getting off the phone that I was indeed going to marry her. We spent the next week talking on the phone for about three hours a day, sharing from our hearts all our fears about taking this leap of faith together. I then flew to Cincinatti where I had planned to be already, we met in person for the first time, and one week later we were married. It was the most Joyful day of my life up until that point, and if you want proof, you can watch it on YouTube!

Since getting married, we’ve been on a “Sharing Love World Tour” - which we chronicled on our blog (www.sharingloveworldtour.blogspot.com). We traveled to several countries around the world where we were invited, sharing our experience with people, sharing our creative gifts, and building the foundation of our first year of marriage. It’s been joyful and exciting, but also full of challenges and profound opportunities for inner growth. I never thought I’d get married, but now that I am, I feel completely different from who I was. I was always such an independent and commitment-phobic person who just wanted to be “free“ (as Armelle was, too), but now I can see how valuable it is to be totally devoted to one person. Everyday is a blessed opportunity to use our relationship as a spiritual classroom for learning trust, patience, and forgiveness.

Since being back in Petaluma (I arrived Oct 1st; Armelle arrived Nov 5th after obtaining her green card approval) we’ve mostly been spending quiet time in what we call our “sanctuary” (my dad’s upstairs Yoga/meditation room) simply studying, meditating, talking, watching inspirational movies, and volunteering on projects for our church (www.livingmiraclescenter.org). Armelle is working on translating many of their materials from English to French, and I am currently organizing a three-hour seminar in San Anselmo called “Practicing Holy Relationship” that we, along with a couple friends who are ministers of the church, will offer in February. I’m also working on my music a bit, as well as learning how to play piano, which I’m enjoying immensely!

Overall, things are wonderful and I feel such gratitude for the way Life has nurtured me all along. I look back on the incredible foundation that I was brought up in, with such a loving and supportive network of family and friends, and I cannot help but feel what a unique blessing it has been. All of you have contributed to my life in your own unique way, and I just want to thank you for being who and what you have been for me. I don’t know when exactly our paths will cross again, as I feel my life is totally in God’s Hands now and that my happiness lies in going only where He/She directs me, but I know that our true relationship is in Spirit and I will love you always.

Merry Christmas,
Erik

P.S. My new cell phone number is 707-364-0957. Please feel free to call or email me anytime if you wish to connect, ask me any questions about my life, or share something from yours.

This is my dream! Why do I use it for? Specialness or holiness?

2010-12-28T00:18:00.002-06:00

Two or three days ago, I deeply realized that I am not part of anyone else's dream, that it is all mine. There is no one outside my mind. So they have no power over me in anyway, even when it seems to be so, I am still the one giving them the power to have the power over me.... hum hum, aren't we crazy? oh no, we just forgot to laugh!No one can ask anything of me, or take anything from me...This is just impossible!

So all what's happening is really there because I want it to be there and ot be exactly the way it is... If I really would had want it any other, that's how it would have been... so no need to complain, be a victim, try to change anything, for I am exactly where I am supposed to be at the perfect time to learn the perfect lesson, right now! And even more, that's what I want. Even if I don't seem to know it, or recognize it and think I'd like things to be different...

Later I went on MMT and started the "special relationship" section! Oh my God, powerful! I did the first part, and when arrived at the assignement, that was so releasing and so great to put all my thoughts, even the hidden one, on the paper, and giving them to the Spirit, to see so clearly how the desire for specialness is still playing but in a more hidden way now, more tricky!!

I just had been offered a pair of shoes by Erik's mother, and I took it as because I am Erik's wife, feeling also that I've been feeling I wouldn't have to buy shoes, that will be given to me... but it wasn't just that, not just coming from the Spirit!

Then we went to the Monday Course Group, about the Text. And in the car, I was saying to Erik that I'd like to have my Course in english, that would be easier for me. He proposed me one, but it's another version that I had in mind. When I arrived there, I borrowed one from the library, and Sharen offered it to me! Wow, shall and you will receive I thought! So fast! And here it felt totally Spirit given.

As soon as we started the meditation, I had that realization coming to me....

It's never the others who give me the specialness! It's only my choice, regarding which purpose I want to use them for? To reinforce what?

If I want to be special, I'll see specialness, ego, attachement, roles even, maybe even feel emprisoned, will suffocate and want to leavein some cases .

If I want to follow the Spirit, to Be Who I Am, I'll see His "footprints" everywhere I go, in everything I do, in every encounter I have, I'll see Love and only Love, for there is only Love...

So I have to come to see what I am doing, what I am trully wanting, asking and taking everything I'm projecting back to me in order for it to be released. Otherwise I'll be keeping projecting it and seeing it in others, as if they were doing something to me... which is impossible! I'm only doing that to myself. And I have the power to release everyone in me!

"Make this year different by making it all the same" T-15.XI.10

yes, it's all the same, I am the one choosing to see difference, separation, even the possibility that things could be different!

With Love and Gratitude to Him to show me everything I've been hiding from my awareness and undo the blocks so that I remember Who I Am in every moment...

Armelle

Undoing of the family concept

2010-12-27T14:05:00.001-06:00

This year has offered me enough distance, for it to be gentle, and beautiful opportunities to look deeper at the family concept... How does it play in my life? How do I feel bound to it?

I could feel a lot of faithfulness to a story that I'm telling to myself since years, and that being fully happy felt like a betrayal to my biological family, on which I was projecting an unhappiness, judging their way of living.

What I've been learning and praciticing a lot with them, in my mind mostly, for I didn't see them a lot, was taking back all my projections on them, all what I was believeing about them, and being trully honest with my feelings, daring going to really deep deep feelings that I never allowed myself before.

It has been a slow and gentle process, a step by step...

Before leaving Belgium for the States beginning of November this year, I spent one month at my parents house, by myself. It has been such an important time, for I was ready then to be who I am and sharing, shining it with them too. I was ready to express it and being uncompromising, seeing there a wonderful opportunity to release the specialness and loving them even more, without all the blocks.

Most of my day was in my room, meditating, reading, listening to talks.

My father doesn't understand what I'm doing neither why it is my choice, and it is ok... Before I would have tried to convince him, to explain, to have his approval in order to feel ok... But this time, there was no need for that, I felt totally ok with the fact that he didn't understand, neither approved because he was having other plans for me and my life!!!!! We had several discussions and every time he was asking me if I would come back to Beligum for his funeral if he was dying. The first time, I was so embarrassed, I said yes after a while, not daring saying no, but felt that awful sensation of compromise and not being honest. One week later, the same day, almost the same time, we had another beautiful conversation and again he asked me that question, and this time I felt such an ease to tell him that I wasn't sure I'll be coming back, for I don't know where I'll be, what I'll be doing and that I cannot make a promise. Also that wherever I am I'll be with him in my heart, in spirit, and that he can be sure... that I'll pray and be with him, but maybe not come back, and that my love for him is far beyond the fact of being at this funeral...

It felt that was the only reason of his asking, knowing that I love him, and that I'm not gonna forget him because I'm leaving the country, and living fully my life, my Calling.

The last day before leaving he told me everything he had in his heart, everything he was thinking about me and my life, and how disappointed he was that it's what I was doing with it. Before I would have been in pieces, and this time, I could just hear his sadness and the difficulty to express his emotions which then turned into anger. I saw he was exposing his "private thoughts" and I found that great, for it's what I'm going for... So I took that opportunity for also exposing some of the deepest thoughts I was having and that I never shared. It felt so right to me, to trust him enough that he could handle him, and explaining him that I was sharing because for me it was a block to fully join with him.

Ten days ago he sent me en email telling he didn't understand that and that... and again I didn't feel that need to justify anything, just telling him that I know he doesn't understand, he that it's ok, for the most important thing is that we love each other even if he doesn't understand me! He then told me that the most important thing is that I am happy, and that's all what he wants for me!

I wasn't concern about having a dad, as I've been in the past, of him being present in my life, approving anything I'm doing. It was all ok for me. It's just another opportunity to stand in the Truth, and follow God, join in the Love.

With my mother, it's a bit different, or that's how it seems, for I reflect to her a lot of things that are dormant in her heart, and I can and she can feel that. Since the beginning of this path, she has a lot of questions and fears also, fear that I am in a cult. So at first I was trying to reassure her, until I understood that it was also mine...!!!! I had a feeling like this inside!! Then one day she told me that when people were asking her about that she was saying "no, she is not", and then that even if I was, she never saw her daughter so happy so... it was the most important thing!

So I've been having conversation with her about forgiveness, about God, my love for Jesus, how the world is the reflection of what is in my mind. Mostly sharing my experiences and answering to her question. It felt that the specialness was undoing already there, for she was more drawn to me for all that, for the light that I was allowing myselfit to shine, instead of hiding Who I am, because I was afraid of being rejected. I told her that my Calling for God was the priority of my life, and what I will follow first.

Already in the years before I had told her mostly, that I wouldn't do something because she has fear and that she wants to be reassured, but because I feel doing it, because it's joyful and not out of obligation (as answering emails right the way, or even phone call, or calling when I was traveling...), and this was the continuing of it, even deeper.

I was already seeing before that they were just reflecting my doubts, my fears too, and that when I was totaly sure of what I was doing, totally aligned in myself, that's also what they were reflecting to me. They are the one with whom I learnt that before being in the Course, for it was so obvious! So they were then like my barometer...

During this month, I wasn't spending not that much time with them, and a lot by myself, which was great. I told them that I was just following my heart, what I was feeling doing, and not joining out of obligation. So that every joining we had was a great moment. I was also practicing not necessarily answering every time that she was calling me for asking something, but just when I was really feeling it, eating only when I was feeling, not when they were (it's part of the family concept there to eat together every meal), etc.

My mother told me that she was seeing me as a carmelite, those are Sisters in Spain, living in a convent, out of the world, only devoted to God. Yessssss!!!!!

When I left I told them that I didn't know when we'll see each other again in person, for I'm just gonna follow where I'm guided to go.

And during my stay I told them both that my love for them was far beyond the roles we were playing together, and that for me we were much more than parents and daugther, and that I didn't want to limit ourselves to that when we are unlimited. That I love them so much more since I'm following that path than before, and that it's still growing.

I've also seen that I cannot ask them to stop playing the parents role, but once I am clear in my mind that being a daughter to them is not what I want, once I really clear all what is bound in it in my mind, then again they just reflect me that.... That doesn't mean that there is no contact anymore, just that it's not coming from guilt, from a sense of obligation, a fear of not being loved anymore, but really form divine inspiration, from just following the guidance in my heart, and then joining is ... as it is with everyone!

My mother called me for Christmas, and we had a wonderful time together, where she was expressing all her emotions and crying, and I was so welcoming it, so with her, it was so beautiful, and so intimate, to let the masks falling down, to join trully. Again she told me that reading the email that I sent to family and friends she could feel that I'm really gonna spend my life in a monastery or something like this, and she was still asking me questions about how I see the world, about the conflits, the war,etc... This was trully the Spirit working! We also talked abuot relationships, marriage, following our heart, being in service to others. And I could feel even more than ever her deep Calling for more... for extending her Love, she has such a huge heart! And that's where we joined, in the Love, that One Love that unites us, far beyond all roles, or seeming differences.... At the end, she told me "I don't understand everything in your life, but I know that there is something that resonates deep in my heart".

This is the most wonderful Gift I ever received for Christmas, it was like God telling me "go on, you're on the right track... spread the Love, spread the words, Be who you are, stay there, don't move"

After another undoing in being a daughter in law this time, here with Erik's parents, in which I've been feeling as if they were asking me to be different than what I am, to compromise, to behave in a certain way, I've been shown by Jesus that no matter in which box or role people want to put me in, it cannot affect me, it cannot change who I am, and that none of what I'm doing is about answering to those, but about following Him. And suddenly all the resistence to all of that fell away, and deep in my heart, I just felt Joy of Purpose, Joy of following Him only. So I was willing to go to all the family parties for Christmas if it was His Will and following Him in every moment. Suddenly there was no pressure of answering to anyone else's desire, suddenly I was free..... In joining with Him, I found my Freedom.

The day after, I felt strongly to not go to the family party and offering me a very quiet, prayerful, deep evening. Taking the time to go inside, and look at a lot of things that had happened the week. This is all what my time is for... Erik was now supporting me where he had been more pushing me to be a certain way before, telling me also that no one had any expectation for me to be in a certain way! It was almost as a revelation. I could see my mind wanting to react and saying it wasn't really true, and in the same time, deep down I felt a huge shift happening, telling me it was all in my mind and offering me once again to follow my heart, being uncompromising, had undone all the perceptions I had of them, of the situation... Wow!!!!!

And several minutes later, here was another reflection of that. Through what is my biological mother, I was hearing how great it was to be uncompromising, to stand in the Truth, to follow fully my Heart. I was also hearing that when you are who you are, when you allow yourself fully to express it, however it looks like in the worlds' eyes, you awaken that in others too, you touch that deep part of their Being, the Core of their Being and wihtout doing anything, help them to remember.... Isn't it what it is all for...?

I have that image, feeling in my mind since several months already, but now it has taken whole its meaning.... When you have an encounter with someone, it's like the person is asking (in a very very subtle way) "Be Who You Are, so that you'll see me for Who I Am, because I forgot, and so, I'll remember..." and that's what Marie-France was showing me...

Wherever I go, whatever I do, it's all about being that messenger of Love and Light for God, and nothing else...

So why wait one minute more...?

Lots of love...

Armelle

Upcoming Gathering

2010-12-24T11:23:00.001-06:00

Come into the Miracle
1 ½ Day Intimate Retreat with Armelle & Erik Archbold
Dec 29-30, Petaluma, CA

To end the year in a state of deep forgiveness and clarity!

The purpose of this retreat is to deepen in our practice of true forgiveness and devotion to the Holy Spirit's practical guidance for us in our day-to-day lives. During the majority of our time together, we will use The Clarity Process*, a helpful context for group sharing utilized at David Hoffmeister's monastery, which invites open expression of private thoughts and leads to a deeper clarity and sense of freedom.

Also interspersed throughout the retreat will be some songs from Erik, an Inner Dance (slow, meditative movement) session facilitated by Armelle, and movies with spiritual themes in the evenings... all for the Purpose of helping us get in touch with our innermost feelings, and beneath those, the Truth of our Being!

Where? 307 6th Street, Petaluma (For those who do not live close by, there is the possibility of spending the night here, one or both nights. Ask us if interested.)

When? Dec 29th – 3:00 p.m. until 10:00 p.m.
Dec 30th – 10:00 a.m. until 10:00 p.m.

Suggested Donation: $90

For more information and to register, please contact Armelle via email at
armellesix@yahoo.fr or by phone at 707-364-0957.

*For more info on The Clarity Process, visit:
http://www.miracles-monastery.org/documents/clarity_process.pdf

In the High of the Miracle

2010-12-20T13:44:00.003-06:00

One week at the Living Miracle Monastery in Utah, with devoted Brothers and Sisters... A deep Life Changing Experience!

18 hours travel and 3 differents airports to go from San Francisco to Salt Lake City. I felt having been lost, in Purpose, not knowing where I am, forgetting who I thought I was...

One day later, I arrived there, warmly welcomed by Kerri and JP, to start.

This week had for themes communing with everyone and everything, collaborating and knowing my deep Innocence....

Healing the pride

I immediately dove into the healing... starting by having the cleaning of the bathhouse as project; the first reaction was anger (pride surfacing) and almost simultaneously bubbles of Joy were exploding in my heart. I was so happy to be given that opportunity again where I've been having so much stuff coming up and rebelliousness. It was such a great opportunity to heal the pride and unworthiness still there, as well as coming into the Miracle that I've been experiencing when I was cleaning the PeaceHouse last year, where the only that mattered, once expressed all the blocks and beliefs, was to extend the love in everything, giving to all. It wasn't at all about cleaning anything! As it always is... just about love!
I started my project after the expression session, singing, and feeling so much love for everything.

Undoing the doer and collaboration

As I had expressed at Lisa the huge desire for collaboration and coming into that flow and wonderful experience of linking with my Brothers, one hour later, my prayer was answered (and it was just the beginning of it). We had to carry the wood under the roof, and were all there, in line, passing piece of wood by piece of wood to the one by our side. I felt so loved by my Father. As soon as we started I looked Frances, who was on my right, in the eyes, and saw an angel. On the left there was Ben and I connected with him too, and immediately I felt that it's what's all about... nothing to do with the wood, nothing to do with doing... and since that moment, I didn't look at the piece of wood that I was receiving, carrying and giving, but only in the eyes of those two angels... it was as if every time we were saying to each other "I know who you are" and suddenly the wood had no weight anymore, and I felt like if I was dancing the waltz. We were giggling and laughing as the love was pouring through... It's never about doing anything, but about extending Love, falling in Love, being in Love

Pull to be perfect OUT!

The evening we had a Joy session where Anna Carol poured her heart in, sharing her love through the Universal Dances, which were about "opening up" and then finished by singing. I felt singing that song that I wrote three months ago in Sweden and for which Erik and I didn't come to put the music on. It felt very given and so joyous so I did, without any music. And it was fabulous, for it was just about pouring my heart out, not about being perfect! Being in the Joy and extending... This song has for title "I Am", that's what it was about!! At the end of the evening, Kris offered me to put some music on it, which felt really great!! Thank You....

Innocent NOW!

Twice a week, Kerri is giving a MMT session, and this one was about guidance. This was so perfect to me as I was sharing the day before that I wasn't trusting myself that much when it was coming to guidance, for I was still so afraid of making a mistake.

The session started by the title "Innocent Now = Worthy Now, Joy Now"
I just had a call with Erik right before, where I've been angry, and it felt that this session was about deeply seeing what was playing with him.

It started when Leila shared that once we've identified the wrong thinking, and when it comes, we can unplug it immediately. So I wrote the thought that was always playing with Erik when the ego was involved. Then I wrote down how I was using this relationship, to reinforce what? Seeing that I was still giving more importance to Erik than to God, wanting to be in relationship with Erik instead of being in relationship with God (the Self however you want to call it) and extending the love from there, still wanting to having it my way and not necessarily how it's given, trying to controle it, wanting to be a priority for Erik, making him being a priority to me even prior to following my guidance sometimes and I still project on him to keep the conflict and the separation going on.

Then came the biggest part.... I saw that in spite of what I thought, what I was doing, I didn't want to be worthy!! For, WHO WILL I BE IF I AM NOT UNWORTHY ANYMORE?
This is my whole identity, the core of who I take myself to be, how I know me, me , me... And I was putting so much pressure onto me if I am worthy, creating a new identity, the one worthy.. I'll have to live up to some new standards, always being in the joy, never being upset anymore, demonstrate that only, being responsible ... being perfect actually! What an unnecessary pressure... Avoiding it, to keep the littleness going on, not having to be responsible for my state of mind, always being a victim of the mind, the ego, the thoughts, emotions.... NO, NO, NO! WOW, so much clarity.

Then I saw that I couldn't believe Erik, and everyone, could trully love me because I am so unworthy and so he (they) must be people pleasing me. So sometimes I was taking their love for an attack, a disguised hatrid, false empathy for they know how unworthy I feel, they see it, so they are not true with me, they do that for me to feel worthy, and actually it reinforces the feeling of unworthiness!
But NO ONE is doing anything! I was doing that to myself, using everyone for reinforcing it, the beliefs in my mind about me!

And at the end, my eyes stopped once again on the title "INNOCENT NOW = WORTHY NOW"
And wow... huge! I saw that I was still not following the guidance, even if I hear it, and doing things my way, in order to AGAIN reinforce the belief in unworthiness, so that everybody could see that I am not worthy, not trust worthy, rebellious, etc, and proving that I am not lovable, at the end, so that I keep my individuality! Not following the guidance to reinforce the unworthiness and then projecting judgements from others (which others???), fear of consequences, fear of rejection, abandonment!!
It felt such a release to see that, see how it plays out, how it is kept running.

No consequences from the past

Later I called Erik to share with him, but had no answer. When I was in my bed, I had some fear that he would leave me because of the call we had. I had gone too far. And felt fearful of being abandoned. In that moment, there was also a seeing that it is not possible that if he was to leave me it would be because of that phone call. It would be that it is what's happening, because it was meant to be that way. For there is nothing from the past that causes what I'm living in the Present. What I am feeling now, is my present choice, my present decision; and here I was given the opportunity to look at the fear of consequences and abandonment! wow...

Deep clarity

I woke up during the night hearing "you are not a body", and being in the feeling I experienced the day before when I was playing intuitive piano, there was a moment in which there was no sensations, no feeling, there was just the hands moving on the keybord, but no one moving it; it felt just like watching a scene in a movie. And in that moment, there was a recognition that clearly I am not the body! Then I felt such a clarity, a deep clarity, never experienced before... I felt so immerged in the light, and as quiet as I was, I was also seeing a little girl running everywhere around the Monastery, looking in all directions, and shouting "oh my God, it's everywhere, it's everywhere. there isn't one place where it is not... oh my God" and she was so happy, and unstoppable.

The game of the littleness vs the Certainty of Christ

During the stay I've been watching a lot the behaviors that were coming from the littleness, from the fear of shining, the desire for being taken care by someone, getting attention from someone, the fear of Love really that where it leads and how all those are playing out in my life over and over again... and how once seen and exposed, they don't have any power and there is room for the Love of Christ to shine through and guide the way!
One evening, I joined with JP with which I felt a deep connection, and I shared all what I was seeing. I could feel there was a lot of love, and as we were talking about joining together later, I saw the game of "I am so afraid of love", that I've already been seeing so many times. And more and more even when saying it, it didn't resonate anymore, it didn't feel true at all. I left for a moment and during that time I realized the play of that littleness, everything was seen so clearly! So when I came back, I told him, "I'm fed up of being afraid of Love, it doesn't even seem true anymore, I just want to go for it" It was so powerful, like a celebration for me! yeahhhhhh

The day after, we spent most of the morning together, and it was really funny because it was really about allowing that Love to pour through us, through our joining, and extending it to everyone who came to us or that we met during the day. It was such a demonstration of communion and extension. The whole day I felt bathing in Love, going from extending to deep meditations to extending...

Sharing the Gift of Inner Dance

I was really offered the FULL experience of the Monastery... Such an intensity, such a depth and a welcoming... One evening, I offered an Inner Dance Session right before the prayer night. One participant shared how deep it was for her and that it revelead that deep love which was pouring through her as dancing, and it's exactly what this si about... reconnecting with that Flow, that deep Love, our Essence, undoing everything we thought that dance was, as well as the dancer, and being danced through. It's always so beautiful for me to share it...I feel so blessed by the Spirit for that Gift. And for me, it's about bringing that into everything I'm doing, into the daily activies... being done through, this is the meaning of "I need do nothing".

Lifting the veil

Every morning, there is a Miracle Moment, which is an opportunity for one different person every day, to express a miracle, an insight, an undoing, healing, or a reading... Since I knew the date it was coming for me, I've been hearing "lifting the veil section"... I tried to find it in the contents without success. The day arrived, and all what I was hearing was "lifting the veil" but didn't find it. Until one moment, I felt it was in the "four obstacles" section. And here it was... I read it, without any confidence of what I was supposed to read... it's so long! (ah ah, as if the HS was thinking about that!!) One part took my attention, and I felt starting there. Then I heard that the theme of the day will be "My Brother is My Savior", as I was realizing the evening before how others are such a great gift for me, and seeing that where the fear and the littleness were playing again, there was an opportunity for growing, healing the belief of what I am not, and here I was seeing that what I was seeing in two of my Brothers, was the reflection of my fears, and an opportunity for me to come in the Certainty of Christ, it was so fabulous! so yes, the theme was really matching with my Gratitude... Once everybody there, I started to read and felt so deeply guided to what to read, passing over some passages to another one, sharing some realizations I had, as well as ending by the prayer at the end of the chapter 15 form the Course. It was so powerful for me, following so deeply, hearing so clearly Jesus, feeling so guided in everything. Three days before I was saying that I wasn't trusting me to hear the guidance, and how willing I was to hear it so clearly... and here it was! Lifting the veil, the fear of Love, of God, of my Innocence, of my Worthiness. Communing with my Brothers, joining, sharing all the Love, and removing the blocks... all the private thoughts that make us being fearful, shameful, etc... but we are not our thoughts! We are the changeless Love and Light, infinite and unlimited!

Falling in Love

I left the Monastery, the heart full of Love, having received the greatest Gift of all... Such a deep feeling of Innocence, a deep recognition which felt being the open door to Truth, to Love fully... And the two angels that welcomed me, Kerri and JP, were two wonderful reflection of me in that... one sharing his experience of it, the other reminding me to come back to that over and over, for this is the main thing!!! NO matter what's seems to happen on the screen, I am, YOu are Innocent! So let's fall in love with everything and everyone. As Erik has told me several times, this all what this path is about... falling in Love!
Hugging everyone, and receiving soooooo much Love from each of them, as giving everything... no holding back! In my experience, I felt we were all falling in Love with each other, revealing that so bright Light that We All Are.

It was so huge! I was in the car with JP, and couldn't say a word and still was ready to explode!!!!! He looked at me smiling, and it kind helped me to! So much Joy, laughter, Love. The car was full of Love as he said! So true...

Deep communion

We went to the Lighthouse before I left, working on some projects with high speed internet. Once those done, we started to do some music together and using that as a tool to deeply commune in the Spirit, seeing and sharing the blocks, and coming deeper in that Love and Joy. We made one song, so simple and so powerful though. When he played the music, I had that image of a little boy running in the field, and he felt something like that too. That was exactly it, Joy, Freedom and Innocence... this is what is all about.
That communion deepened as we were allowing the Spirit to pour through and going on sharing the private thoughts, following the guidance, and staying in the Presence. It felt as if time had stopped and there was only NOW.

Extending - Giving to keep

On the way to the airport, we met our friend, Melissa to whom we had the great opportunity to share all that Love that was pouring through, and reminding our Innocence, as well as how important it is to be gentle with ourselves. We don't need to push ourseleves through fear to undo, or heal... no pressure! Just being gentle... and letting Him lead the way. All that can be so loving, so joyful, so smooth and gentle... this was another step in the deepening of that for me who has been so hard with me that last year!

In the Strength of the Spirit

I feel my mind is so strengthened in the Truth. My already deep devotion to God's plan is sooooo deepened. My deep Love for Jesus is shining so brightly... I found again the little girl who was talking to Him almost everyday and running to go to church to hang on the cords and ringing the bells... the one who was singing in the chorus... the one who was playing the angel in the living crèche at Christmas... the one who was so spontaneous, so bubbling, so alive, so loving... Nothing can stop it! Everything is seen so fast, so clearly... and I can choose Peace instead of this...

In the Course, Jesus says something like... we will walk two by two through the ark, we won't go without our Brother... and unless you become as little children again, you won't go to the Kingdom of Heaven...

THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU, thank You God to have created Me as You, thank You Jesus for speaking to me louder, and pouring your Love on me and shining through me, thank You everyone for being, having been a part of my Life.

I Love You All
Armelle

Answering the Call.... No doubts! Let's gooooo....

2010-12-10T02:38:00.002-06:00

Wow, wow, wow... I don't know really how to express how strong the flame is burning in my Heart, my whole Being!! I cannot sleep, it's so strong...

That last week, those last days have been so deep in healing for me, it's amazing. where there was grief, I found Gratitude and Love... and a huge release!
Going deeper and deeper, not letting one corner of my mind sleeping on his habits! everything is to be taken back, seen, and offered to Jesus for release... All this is so powerful! There is certainly more to see, and I welcome it so openly, for this is really all what I want... GOD! There is no doubt in my mind anymore, no other purpose than Him, nothing I want more than Him...

And that's what I'm going for... I am so happy...

I'm leaving for the Monastery tomorrow early in the morning... youhouuuuu
One week, it seems as if I was going for forever, as if I was leaving everything and never coming back... coming back to what anyway? everything that I just wrote is already gone, already the past, and now... now what? to be lived, only to BE...

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to join with David on skype and sharing the so so so deep deep Call of my Heart for God, Truth... and it was wonderful! Right after hanging up I went on in the MMT program and the next thing I did, was watching the movie clip from the Matrix on the undoing!!!! Do you want the blue pill or the red pill???? Be careful... I only offer you the Truth... nothing more!!!

YEAHHHH that's it!!! I take the red!!! the red pill... there is nothing I want more than that! And anyway, it feels to me that I came to a point where I couldn't go back to anywhere... for there is nowhere to go, it's already gone...

Then right after, the next section was "undoing the roles" perfect! right before leaving, just to make sure!!! and watching that movie "roi de coeur" was fabulous... how to play the role without being identified with it! We just wear costumes, but we take it so seriously and then we think it's us and we forget to play and laugh.... pfff... was wonderful!!

I had several wonderful encounters those last days, and it's so great to extend all that love that is pouring through me...

I am so grateful for everything...Thank You God for loving me so much and taking care of me as you do... for all the part where I am not trusting You fully yet, I am willing to, just show me how... for all what I am not hearing You fully yet, I am so willing, so make it louder... You are all what I want.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjDojEOiMcE

Lots of love
Armelle

This needs not be!

2010-12-06T00:45:00.003-06:00

"If you cannot hear the Voice for God, it is because you do not choose to listen. 2 That you listen to the voice of your ego is demonstrated by your attitudes, your feelings and your behavior.3 Yet, this is what you want.4 This is what you are fighting to keep, and what you are vigilant to save.5 Your mind is filled with schemes to save the face of your ego, and you do not seek the face of Christ.6 The glass in which the ego seeks to see its face is dark indeed.7 How can it maintain the trick of its existence except with mirrors?8 But where you look to find yourself is up to you." T-4.IV.1

I was hearing this title again and again and didn't really know what to write. So I prayed and I've been led to my Course to read this... Then I understood what the Spirit wanted to teach me tonight...

Since my marriage with Erik so much stuff has come up. There has been very very intense time, and also quiet time, peaceful and loving. I was pretty new in the Course, and didn't really get a deep experiencing of the principles. I knew them for the most, but it wasn't experienced most of the time. I was still blaming Erik a lot for what was too intense for me...;-)

I was so arrogant and wanted to be so right. I never liked the feeling of being the one that has to learn, being the "student", so I was rarely opened to what Erik was willing to help me with, until I couldn't bear the pain of keeping holding onto "I want to be right", "I know better", "there is no one who needs help", or even "this is my experience so you cannot take it from me, and don't tell me it is not true!" (this one is a great one;-))).

There was such a deep unworthiness and such a strong unconscious desire to not feel that, to not accept it, to not go through it (even if on the surface it was talked about, I just didn't want to feel it deep down), kind of a desguised desire to keep it, by constantly projecting it outside onto Erik's behavior. It has been expressed and seen in so many different ways, I don't even remember, but most of the upsets we had were coming back to that same belief... that I am so unworthy, such a piece of shit, such an awful person, not lovable... (different variations to have more opportunities to bite into it, so ingenious!) Underneath that was the desire to hold onto my identity... I've been that all my life (even if I wasn't aware of it), what would I be without that story? Who would I be if I started to be happy, loved, gentle and true with myself, and that I was fully following my heart. Because guess what? That belief, is one of the core to not follow FULLY the Spirit! Even practicing the lesson... it says in the Course that we don't need concentration to do it, we just don't follow what is said because we don't feel worthy enough; and I feel it's so right.

The resistances I've been feeling all over this past year were about that... feeling unworthy! Oh yes, I've been looking at it, diving into it, going back to the past, analyzing it, and ... still there!

That's why I wrote this first paragraph, that's what I wanted to see, what I've always wanted to see... because I wanted to exist! I wanted so badly to exist on my own, by myself, being the center of everyone's world.... and so I was paying the ego price for it.

That was the deal: "You'll be the shining star, standing up on the first step of the podium, being the center of attention, such a special person, you'll succeed in everything you do, easily, and then one day something will fail and you'll think it's you who failed and you'll know the other face of the coin, for it's always one or the other. You cannot have one without the other, even if the other is just masked. Once there, we'll alternate so you keep go on playing the game of being a person. For you like so much the shiny part of it!!!"

And so I played... diligently, unconsciously, taking on the pain, for the pride, for the acclamations, to E-XI-ST!

The relationship with Erik, so well choosen by the Spirit (such a great matchmaker), was perfectly designed for it to come up, and be healed...

It didn't take one whole day for it to happen! The evening of our wedding day, it started... I felt so overwhelmed by that Love and anger showed his nose... and it was just the beginning of it. Then it came in jealousy, rejection, fear of abandonment, withdrawing myself, rage, wanting to die and a lot of other that I might be forgetting (you'll forgive that!!)

All that made me going through a lot of pain, sadness, feelings of powerlessness, being a victim of myself, the ego, Erik, others, seeing my path as being in a cult... I've been so violent with myself to protect it!

All that to not feel the unworthiness, all that to protect the identity, the mask, to not allow the Love to pour through, to not allow the Spirit to guide me (making Him fearful at times too), to not join with other mighty companions (I was feeling so inferior to them, and so afraid of my reactions, that I was afraid to join physically). Such a great play to keep me imprisoned in the role I've been playing all my life.

There has been so much resistances and every opportunity I had to take the words of Erik or a mighty companion to reinforce that was used to distract me from going on with the Course, to pull back from David or the Messengers, to not follow the guidance and reinforce that old friend pride, and arrogance, and rejection. For in those times, I was rejecting them as much as I could, lying to myself on what I was doing, and still being so aware that it was what was playing. I've lied so much to myself. I was so afraid that Erik could "cheat" on me, but I was so much cheating on my True Self, betraying the Truth about me all over again...

I was seeing in everyone what I wanted to see to keep those beliefs about myself, to keep being who I thought myself to be. I needed mirrors of this belief, so I couldn't see the Christ, didn't want to, it was my survival... It wasn't their acts or behaviors, but who I was choosing to be!

And I wasn't looking in the Spirit to find myself... in those moment... and it has cost so much pain and delays!

And no, beloved Brothers and Sisters, this need not be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The day of my interview at the embassy to immigrate to the States, I received an email with a statement saying something like "if you don't get what you want, it might be a great opportunity". I got my visa approved, but I had to wait another 12 days to receive it. At first it was ok, but then once I was with Erik on the phone, it came to a point, that once more, I wanted this relationship to end. I felt so punished and felt as if it was the end and that I would never see him again. So I wanted to end it now!

What I've been learning those last months is that I am not the one in control of what happens... whether I leave or stay! It is how it is, I am not the one deciding if the relationship will last or end. Which is great in time a crisis, for I know, even if I go through all that unnecessary pain, that I'll still be there, and that has been helpful in allowing all that deep repressed anger and rage to come up. Every time I was afraid he could leave me, I was ready to leave, but never did it.

All that had nothing to do with Erik... whatever the form it had, it was all and always about me and what I was trying to protect by acting in a certain way, by feeling in a certain way... He is just the angel put on my path to help me releasing all those blocks to Love. (full of gratitude)

We talked for hours and hours and hours that day... until finally everything was ok. Once all the fear released, all the thougths expressed, there was room for Love...

The next morning, one of the first thought was that it had to stop!!!! I really couldn't go on like this, it is so painful and it needs not be. So I prayed.

And 30 minutes later I had a plane ticket to go to Mallorca joining the devotional there with David and the messengers. And since then the Spirit doesn't stop to show me how loved I am, how worthy I am...

I felt such a shift just going there, just stopping resisting to what I felt was my life, my path... since the first moment I met Helena and David!

Screwing all that up to exist? Doesn't it sound crazy???

"Surrender...

Surrender Holy Child

Come and dive into my arms

I will hold you tie and never let you down

Come, come and make me First

For the Fruit of the Kingdom are Yours

Trust, trust and trust again

For I will never let you down

How could I, we are One?"

With Love and Gratitude

Armelle

Only that...

2010-11-18T19:19:00.002-06:00

Mmmh... softness and love this morning when I woke up... as a warm wind that

As I was reading my emails, I was becoming aware that more and more it's difficult to answer, or it has less and less meaning, questions like "what have you done today?" or "how are you doing?"! Those last times, it seems more and more that there is nothing coming out of the mouth when those questions are asked. No words. It's as if my mind is empty. I have to make an effort to think about it. As if there was no answer, no more reference point to answer...

More and more, days are passing in that space of silence and emptiness, without anyone to claim on what has been lived or done... Time seems to disappear more and more, morning, afternoon or evening, it's all the same! The notion of time is erasing and it becomes the Moment, what's happening now. The day? Pfff... too difficult, I don't know, one or the other, all the same, nothing special... Life simply Is...

what I am doing... euh... I don't know... Who does what?

Softness and Silence... Intense wholeness of the Moment, that passes, and here is the next... and the next... And what if Life was just that...?

With Love, Eternally
Armelle

You will never know your Self, you can only Be It...

2010-11-17T22:16:00.002-06:00

This morning, as I was dancing, I felt going on the beach this afternoon. Some time later, Erik's father came in the meditation room and told us that it was the last day of sun today and it was time for us to go out and go to the beach! Erik's mother has already told him that earlier. It seemed we were all tuned in! And so became obvious that it was the guidance for the day...

As we were driving along the coast, near the marina, very slowly, admiring the landscape, I was watching the pear and was feeling I'd like to stop the car to take a picture, I was feeling it could make a beautiful picture. In front of this one, there was another one. So the thought came that I could go on this one to take the picture of the other one.

But none of this was about taking any picture... I didn't say anything to Erik, didn't ask him to stop the car to take any picture. So he went on driving in the direction of the one I wanted to picture, and as we were approaching it came the thought that if I was on that one, I couldn't take its picture, for I'll be on it, so I couldn't fully see it!

At that moment, what was shown to me is that we cannot know something except if we are separate from it. We can only know something that we are not. And so that we will never know who we are, we will never experience who we are... We can only be it! We can even not not be it. We are ... what we are, what we cannot be separate from and that we will never know. It will always stay a mystery, and never be known to us. We will remain in the not knowing. And in that not knowing there is space, lightness, for there is nothing to strive for, nothing to reach... anyway we'll never know! But we are... and have always been!

I Love so much the way Life is teaching me....

Joy and Love of Being
In loving service...
Armelle,

Take no thought for tomorrow...

2010-08-19T07:33:00.002-05:00

Erik: I've been reading the Bible more lately, especially the words of Jesus, to get more acquainted with what he supposedly said 2000 years ago. And also to really practice discerning the true spiritual meaning behind the words, which has been very illuminating.

Today I was reading the Sermon on the Mount, and found great peace in this passage, which I'd like to share my interpretation of...

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof “ (Matthew 6:33-34)

To me, the last two sentences are basically saying that you already have sufficient “evil”, or ego temptations, to be vigilant against today, so don't be preoccupied with the future. You don’t need to preoccupy yourself with tomorrow (or any time in the future), because tomorrow will take care of itself. You merely need to pay attention to what’s going on right now: how you feel, what your thoughts are, where you mind is at, etc... and then be willing to invite the Spirit in to abide with you in order to remind you of the Truth. In this way, we place our minds under the Guidance of Truth and Love, and learn that we can rely on that Guidance for everything in our lives, rather than relying on our own petty strength or limited intelligence.

This teaching has been so helpful for me on my path, for the ego is constantly trying to frighten me into worrying about the future - where will I be going, how will I be support myself and my wife, etc.. But Jesus is telling us not to worry about the future, but to keep our attention on the here and now. Indeed, he tells us, "Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on." (Matthew 6:25)

Over the years, as I've practiced keeping my attention on removing the ego blocks to Love's awareness, the ego's voice has become much less frightening to me. I simply don't take it as seriously as I once did, recognizing it for what it is - a meaningless attempt to hide from the Light by the part of my mind that is still attracted to separation. By the same proportion, my trust in the Spirit has grown, and I've experienced first hand how all the particulars in my life can be handled easily and Joyfully and without effort or planning - when I place my full attention only on what's in front of me right now that is blocking my awareness of the Kingdom of Heaven within. By bringing my awareness continually back to this moment, watching my mind for the distractions of the ego and repeatedly asking for help from the Spirit of Christ within me, my mind has become clearer and clearer.

In this way, I have indeed found it to be true that when you seek first the Kingdom of Heaven (which is to seek and remove the barriers I've placed between myself and God), then all else that is necessary is indeed added unto me. Such peace that is then available...

Love,
Erik

Clarity, simplicity...

2010-08-14T06:33:00.000-05:00

We just watched the movie "the Shift" from Wayne Dyer, it the thrid time in four months for me, and every time it brings me back to that same place... IT'S SO SIMPLE... In the same time, it sows other gifts on my way, which are allowing me to go deeper yet. And that Truth come from my heart, my Being.

And from that seeing, what comes to me is that all is so simple!

The Course in an help, to go along on my path, not another opportunity to create a special relationship, even thought it is not wrong, for nothing is wrong, anyway! But it is a pointer to the Truth within...

I don't have to make it a new religion, using his metaphysics terms to speak to everybody, his words to teach to everybody. The Course is for me... for my practice! It's there to show me the way. Once I understood the meaning of his message, I practice it, for me, because it's for me, not for anyone else! I can leave on the side those special terms, the book even. I become the Course, I live the Course, I am the Course, in a sens.

I don't have to tell to everybody that the world doesn't exist, as well as the body is, etc... Just knowing it, for myself. Because that, as well as true forgiveness is what is helping us to remember our true nature, for a while. It helps us to have some detachement, regarding everything. And not being attached anymore to any specifics, I'm not suffering anymore. I'm not taking anything personnally, knowing I am not this body, this person, knowing who I trully am...

I don't have to shout that to everybody, it could create more separation, if I use those words, ideas to show how different I am, how special, spiritual, evolved, superior, better....

To teach is to demonstrate. So I don't have to go to anybody and talk to them about all that to make them evoluate, change, to teach them something, for the world to change...just to change my mind about all that and follow my guidance, the Spirit in me, my heart to talk to the ones that are sent to me, knowing they have been sent for that. I don't have anything to do by myself, coming from my will.

Being, looking, living from that postion of detachement, it's being in the I am, in the Holy Spirit, in the love, bathed in our true Being. And from there, I extend, extend what I am, what we all are... this Awareness. I see who are my Brothers, their Innocence, Perfection. For wherever is coming from what they say, what they do, ego or Spirit, what is important is from where I want to look at, live, love. This is always my practice, my lesson.

If I take the Course fully, I practice it in everything, every moment, and then from that position of the Holy Spirit, with the Holy Spirit, I look at the world with love and trust, knowing that everything is always perfect, that I am not guilty of anything (for there is no guilt), has never done anything wrong (it was just a thought!) and that He is taking care of everything, Life is taking care of itself, I have nothing to do, just not interfere, just giving all the desire I may still have and follow Him, go with the flow of Life. Everything happens at the perfect moment. Anyway, I am never the one in charge, it was just an illusion!

I was also seeing that when we grow, we loose our carelessness, and we start to fear consequences, as if I've done something wrong and that I am expecting in every moment to be punished. The child is in the moment, in what he is living, doing. He doesn't think about the futur, what it may look like, what might happen, will there be consequences or not...

I was thinking about that for in the movie, a mother is offered a lollypop by someone. And at first she is surprised and say no, but then suddenly, something happens and she says YES! And I felt it was like saying YES to the child, YES to the innocence, YES to now, YES.............. just YES............ without thought, guilt, fear of anything, just YES!! And I was seeing with that how much we are always thinking about later, and not that much spontaneous... This is what becoming a child again means... Children just enjoy the moment, are in the moment, whatever it is... pain, joy, anger, tears, playfulness... they just live it!

Aren't we the beloved child of God?

With Love

Armelle

Walking with Jesus

2010-08-04T09:07:00.001-05:00

Today is a silent and Inner Dance day at the Peace House, for the retreat... Mmmh... Deep.
We started the day by Inner Dance, which, that time had no end of session, for it was the invitation for the day... Dancing whenever we feel, and staying in that slow motion in which the Inner Dance puts us into, that state of total Presence.
So for me, it went on for the whole day... fabulous, with so many gifts and the simple miracles of Life.

Dancing to start the day, for a while, the sensation or I don't know how to call it of being someone disappeared. Totally melting in the movement of Life, being danced by the Spirit, merging into the everything, all the barriers were gone. Love was pouring. So much, that when I stopped and sit quietly, there was that overflowing gratitude and almost overwhelming Love. A piano piece of music did the rest to invite the sobbing and tears of JOY, ALIVENESS...

After a while in that state, I've been guided to go to the bank to pay the rent. I didn't want to move, just staying in that state. The Spirit then told me « you'll stay there, you'll follow me ». Ok then, I trust You. So I left. And I think I never walk so slowly for so long...

There was so much presence in every step, it was incredible, the love was pouring. It was so overwhelming that I started to be cold, and immediately the thought came in my mind that the body cannot feel, that cold is a thought in the mind, not depending on wheather conditions. It stopped.

In every step I was making, I was feeling the presence, the ground under the foot, the whole sole, amazing. Which gave the impression that only that part was existing, showing me how things are existing when you put the focus on!

On the way to go, I felt Jesus's presence so strong, as if He was by my side, and I was walking (I wrote waking at first!!!) holding His hand. One moment, it was so deep that I had the impression to be at His time, when He was in a human form, walking with Him through Jerusalem.

We've been listening to a Ken Wapnick talk the other day, in which he was talking about holding Jesus to walk through the crowd of guilt, I heard, which was the cloud of guilt, Erik told me! Funny for it had a lot of meaning for me that it was the crowd. It was what I was supposed to hear, apparently.

So we were walking through Jerusalem and I was holding His had, and we were crossing a huge crowd of people so angry. They were all pointing at me, staring at me, shouting at me. And we were walking together. One moment He asked me « do you feel it? » and I said « Yes, I am innocent... » then I paused and was feeling it more and more.... then I said « wow Jesus I feel so free, I am free... » at that moment some people in the crowd started to scratch my arms to blood and I didn't feel anything, there was no hurt, no sensation, nothing! « Jesus I don't feel it... And I love them sooo much. » at that time I was burning, there was just love pouring, it was amazing. Then those words came « they don't know... they really think they are that... » and there was just love for everything, everyone, just love manifesting in that picture; and that so huge feeling of Freedom and Innocence, like never before. And Jesus was silent, smiling the whole time, holding my hand, strengthening my strength by sharing His, by demonstrating His, by being so innocent and free and knowing the Truth about all our Brother and us.

Then I was suddenly back here, still walking so slowly on the side of the road, as if the time had stopped for a moment. It was like a glimpse of what True Freedom and True Innocence is.

I took the same way then usual but I saw other things for the first time. I saw so beautiful colored houses, flowers. I felt so much love in people's garden that I never saw before.

I stayed silence at the bank, no need to say a word, just being.

On the way back I stopped in front of the church, and saw a sign « welcome »! I felt I was supposed to stop there, but didn't feel going inside, so I went on. 5 meters farther, I saw a cross with Jesus on it. So I went back and came there. I fell on my knies and stayed there, with Him. And there again I felt so free. And He told me that was the message of the crucifixion... that we are free, that there He was free. For we are not the body, and the Spirit is free, eternally Free. It was amazing how much love was present at that moment, like a shower running on me.

I realized later that I had absolutely nothing to do or to think of when I am fully present, or fully absent should I say(!!), when there is identification with the Spirit, for every move is done for me when it supposed to happen, every word given at the perfect time.
I was also looking in front of me at the end of the road, like looking at the future, and feeling that even if I look there, what is important is the step I am making right now, and that' where all my atttention should be.

I felt how much Jesus had been guided me to go inside those last weeks, to stop looking outside thinking I would find the peace, the answers, the love... oustide of me, in a special teacher, in meeting some special people, in going to special places, in watching some special videos, just going inside and being with Him, listening to His voice more and more and learning to discern it from the other voices from the world. And at that moment, I was feeling how much I was so much more open to receive His love, how much I was really feeling that I was worthy of it, that I deserve it. Those last weeks of emphasizing on being inside and listening to Him have been so helpful. It was really the answer to my deep deep call...

He told me « it's even more that you deserve it, it is who you are, your natural state. You just forgot, and thought you were that, so I am just reminding you gently. You are more than worthy of It, you are It. »

Then I saw two kind of whole in the ground which for me seemed to be two hearts. And I was feeling how much our perception is depending on who we choose to look at things, and our interpretation on who we want to be our guide. And that the place I am looking from make the way I perceive things, from who I think I am, or form who I am, HS's.

It is really crazy all the things that we can see, realize, learn when we go slow, when we take the time, when we are so present to what is, that the rest disappear in what is...

This is really what I am going deeper and deeper with the practice of the Inner Dance. This is where it's leading me... that state of Truth. I can't really express it, it's like there is no word. I feel it's something to live... to experience... that we can't understand or grasp on, just living it!

Love Eternally
Armelle

When I am born again...

2010-07-19T13:24:00.000-05:00

When I am born again....
I am not born to me... but to Him!
I forget everything I thought I was, anyway, I've always been wrong!
I don't have to go any special place, be with any special people for the Kingdom of Heaven is Within!
I stop thinking, being worried about things from the world, about what to eat, how to dress, how much money do I have, how this body looks like, where do I go, what do I do, what do I want... for He does it for me!
I stop thinking I am someone, for I've never been!
I stop thinking I know something for that's the way for Him to show me, to teach me, to guide me!
I give everything to everyone, for that's the way to know what I trully have, what I am!
I give Him my mind, my heart, and all I thought was me, for I want to follow Him!
I extend the gifts He gave me, for I want to know who I am!
I see the Christ in you, so I can know that I am!
I see the Light in you, for there is nothing else!
I see you as me, for there is no one else!

I disappear in the Grace, and let Grace dancing...

Love to Everyone, dear Brother!
Armelle

ps: the secret, is that He does everything through me,for me...;-)) I, is just another name for Him!

There is nothing wrong with me. I am innocent!

2010-07-02T17:27:00.001-05:00

As I had answer the Call of the Spirit to steward the Peace House in Ireland for this summer, I started to feel a deep shift happening in the self concept of Armelle. The day of the travel, Erik and I had several stops and transportations before arriving at Sarah's, which felt very helpful to me, as decompression chambers. As the ego was becoming crazy the more we were going, I kept the silence almost the whole way, going just inside.

Finally I came to the point, that maybe I've been wrong all my life about me, about who I am, and maybe I am still wrong about everything I am perceiving!
Wow, it was a huge step for me. having always felt I had to know everything, and I couldn't be wrong, otherwise I was in danger, I could die.

I immediately felt a lot of fears once arrived at the PeaceHouse that I shared, as everything that was coming up. And very soon, my state of mind completely shifted, to the point where I could allow myself, and finally believe that I am innocent.

In the same time, I was feeling guided to do, once again, the whole True Empathy section, so powerful!

Everything was reflecting what I was living, and showing me the answers and the way to go with it.

And today, as I wanted to share an insight and the joy of what I saw, I finally came back in the story once again, what Sarah pointed to me. The insight was about the fact that there was nothing wrong with me, and by joining with Erik on what he was going through, which was the same, the Spirit, gave me the answer to what I wasn't seeing for myself. I was just experiencing a sense of awkwardness, not knowing what it was about. So at the end, I thank Erik for that joining, I was so joyful
Then I felt lost and confused, and didn't understand what she was telling me. And I was trying to grasp on her explaining again. The point was that there was nothing wrong with me, and that I've been so used those last months thinking in terms of emotions and story, that every time, I feel something for I am receiving guidance, and I think there is something wrong with me, instead of seeing that I've been guided to look at something, or to do something.

Once she had left, I was feeling a sense of I don't know and it's ok to not know what is happening, I don't have to know, everything will happen when it's time, even the understanding of that! And a few second later, I felt the joy, the real joy pouring through me and a lot of laugther started... the expressions was "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME" I could see all that clearly, as I stop wanting to try to understand and just let it go.

Then the guidance came very clearly and in a so joyful way.

I feel so delighted at the reading of this section. it's not the first time I am reading it, and I am sure, I'll come back to it again. It has been so powerful and so lightening.

The most powerful insight was about the fact that if I am in false empathy with a brother, then I'll feel weak too, for I forgot who I am. The most beautiful gift I can do to myself and my brother is seeing the innocence and the perfection in both.
I am innocent, no matter what. And if so, my brother is too, for there is no need to project any guilt on him, if there is none in me. The way to see my brother innocent is to know that I am innocent myself. And that's what I am! Innocent. So are we;-)

Love
Armelle

Letting the Holy Spirit be in charge

2010-06-20T07:33:00.002-05:00

As some of you may already know, Armelle and I have applied for her to get a Visa for permanent residency in the US (also known as a "green card") since we have been married last October. The process takes several months, and we are now at the stage where there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be filled out, in a very detailed and precise fashion, with no mistakes whatsoever. Since English is my first language and not Armelle's, I've been the one in charge of reading all the fine print and making sure that we are doing everything properly for the U.S. government.

In the past, things like this (i.e. doing my taxes)have felt very stressful, and now with this current undertaking, I sometimes am tempted to fall back into old patterns of thinking about it which trigger that same stress. Fortunately, the Course has taught me a new way of thinking which can be applied to absolutely anything in life in order to experience a sense of peace and flow.

What I've seen is that the stress only comes when I am trying to rely on myself alone to get the job done. But when I put the Holy Spirit in charge, and completely give up ALL of my ideas about how I think I should do things (easier said than done), then things ALWAYS flow FAR more smoothly.

In this case, with the immigration paperwork for Armelle, I've been feeling some stress lately from thinking that I need to get it done as quickly as possible, so that Armelle can immigrate as soon as possible. But whenever I make a goal out of anything other than the Peace of God (i.e. a quick immigration time) then it is impossible to experience true inner peace. As the Course teaches in so many words, true inner peace (the Peace of God) can ONLY be experienced when it is the only goal we hold in our minds. As soon as ANY worldly goal enters our mind, it blots out God from our awareness, and thus we cut ourselves off from the Source of true Strength.

So today, I've committed myself to simply "sitting at the feet" of the Holy Spirit to wait for my next instruction. I trust that He has everyone's best interest at heart, and will inform me of exactly what I am to do next regarding all this paperwork, exactly when I am supposed to do it. In this way, I am relieved of the burden of trying to decide everything using my limited intellect (very stressful)!

And even if I only hear the Holy Spirit a small fraction of the time such that I am only able to hear instructions for one small task per day, that's okay. Everything will still get done far more gracefully and smoothly than if I had "muscled through it" and tried to do everything as quickly as possible using my own mind alone. The Holy Spirit has wisdom that is far greater than my own, with a bird's eye view of the entire script of time and space, so only He can Guide me toward exactly what will be helpful at each step of the way.

And even if I fall into the trap of following my ego for a while and seem to get "off track" with a project, the Holy Spirit is like a GPS system in a car - it can always be "reset" to give you the fastest path to where you're going, even if you've missed some of its prior directions and have gotten "lost". In truth, we are never lost. We are just sometimes taking a longer pathway back to the awareness of God's Presence, which is the only Goal that matters. Everything else in this world is just a "backdrop", or a context for training the mind to listen more and more to only the Holy Spirit.

So today I trust Him completely. I trust that even though my fear sometimes leads me to take foolish actions which are hurried and awkward, I can't ever make a "fatal" mistake in truth. What I am is eternal, and I can never die. Whether Armelle gets her Visa or not, and when, ultimately doesn't matter at all. It is just a dream which is being used now for the sole Purpose of healing the mind. And so with God being my only Goal now, a Goal whose attainment is inevitable, there is no justification for anything but total peace and relaxation!

Both my healing AND the affairs of the my "personal" world are completely in the Hands of the Holy Spirit, and my job is merely to trust, listen, and follow His instructions to me. Working for Him is the most Joyful job in the world! It is my sole function, my sole "career", and my sole means of "income" (which in truth is only Love, but Which can appear symbolically as money, food, shelter, etc..). Everything is offered to me freely if I will but trust, listen, and follow... and all things work together for Good. Amen!

Love,
Erik

When everything that never stays is going away...

2010-06-11T12:28:00.002-05:00

There are thoughts that never happen... and there are things that are happening without having ever thought about it... Here is one of those...

When everything that never stays is going away...

Are we really in charge of something? What is the meaning of still watching my beliefs, holding the presence before everything else, choosing God, letting the thoughts go, etc...

What is the meaning, the purpose of all that? Who is the one who wants that? What is this practice? If everything is written, the moment of awakening isn't it too?
Can it come from a deep call, a deep desire?

The fact of wanting to live the awakening isn't it also kind of refusing to live what is here, now, the richness of the experience that is here, under my eyes? The awakening isn't it to be amazed of life, whatever her form, colour, odor is...? For, in reality, they all reflect the same thing... Life in her whole magnificence, which in the moment is manifesting herself in that way.

What is the meaning of all this seaking, all those changes, all those questions? What is the meaning of all that? I have the impression that there isn't anymore, that there is nothing anymore.

Why that way rather than that one? They are all the same anyway, all a manifestation of life, without any separation. Seemingly differents, and all the same...
What is the meaning of this word rather than this one?

My mind will explode, explode inside. It seems that the traffic is more obstructed than the inside ring of Brussels in the rush hours, and still, something is there, watching all this.

There is space, silence.

The head is heavy, very heavy. The ears are buzzing. A lot of desorientation those last days. A deep humility is taking place. A lot of arrogance, still present, recognized, exposed and shared.
And a very deep sense of what's the use? And all those beliefs...pff.. we don't care!
A big joke, here is what it is... a very huge joke! Unworthiness, staying in the rows, being better... what's the use? To do what? For whom? Who? Who is there? Who wants that?

A bath of silence...no words, no words anymore! Stop to the words!
My mind doesn't want it anymore, cannot bare it anymore! Too much mental. Too many analysis. Too many solutions for problems that are even not existing!
And if we were simply stopping playing to be asleep? I don't really know what it means, neither do I what means anything, for it seems that everything is vanishing, going away... even the traffic on the inside ring is going as those letters are printing on this sheet.

So, finally, what is staying?
There is still that something that is watching all that, which is aware of all that, of that theater piece that is playing. And this silence... this emptiness...full. That wholeness...so intense, so much that no need for anything!

Sleeping? What for? But I am tired. Who? One drags his feet, suddenly doesn't have any strength, yawns, has the eyes tingling... And still so much energy, so much life. Who am I? What's happening?
No separation anymore? No conflict anymore? Everything is perfect. Total acceptance. Who thinks that it should be different? A break, in the silence, the presence. Nothing has to be different. Everything is perfect. An other opportunity of reminding me who I am.

Eating? But I am already full! But I want to eat, I'm hungry! What for? Because I want, because it's what we do everyday, because I like it, I'm used to it, because I want more...Mmmh... Silence, presence...thanks... Who am I?

Talking? Everything is already said! Words are heavy... Yes, but I want to communicate, I want to share, to let know. What for? Because it's that way that I am existing... I am talking, saying, telling, I am listened to, admired, heard, inspiring and I exist! Who is existing?

Being special? What for? No meaning anymore!

Just leaving my existence to Existence...

I don't know anymore, don't know, don't want anymore, don't want... Nothing is lost, everything is, pure manifestation of Life.

Thank you!

Love
Armelle

To commit…

2010-05-27T02:16:00.000-05:00

Commitments which are asked of you, given, whatever their nature, are there so that your mind is directed in one direction and you do not let yourself get distracted by temptations that might be proposed, which could get in your way, as you get closer and closer to the Light. Because the ego is very vicious, and tends to keep you away from any commitment. He doesn’t like it at all, because it doesn’t leave the ego much room to maneuver when your mind is really focused on a specific purpose. That's why he likes to leave the doors open and ‘just in case’... This gives him the opportunity to make his appearance and divert you from what you want most, the healing of mind, peace and joy.

It is therefore important that you follow guidance and trust the path that leads you, a little more each day to regain the full expression of your true nature. You never ceased to be what you are, but you've forgotten it, have believed in the dream in which you are living. And guidance sets a direct path for you to let go of beliefs that still keep you in the dream and keep you from fully experiencing the abundance of your true nature. You are Pure Spirit; you are Freedom and Power. Nothing else but this recognition is necessary... Nothing in form is necessary and the guidance that you're offered is the means by which the return to who you are is the most direct, quickest and guided by Love.

Do not be afraid to commit, when a commitment is given to you, it is to commit to God, to Love. And if given to you, that's the path to follow at this moment; it’s through this the most direct healing comes. Walk in confidence that you're never alone. I'm always by your side, ready to take your hand, should you stumble, so you don’t fall. So whatever the nature of the commitment, follow it and see in it the very symbol of your commitment to God through the form in which you seem to live, because there is nothing else but that. Following the symbols given you for God, for the Holy Spirit, in form, will ensure your happiness, joy, and peace. This is what you asked for, it is what was given you. Stay with it, without change, follow...

I'm with you, my Sister, forever in our Father's Love
Jeshua

With Love
Armelle

Releasing the belief in attack

2010-05-21T05:03:00.002-05:00

Last night, Armelle got into an argumentative discussion about our relationship, and I was mostly feeling that she was just "in her stuff" and unable to see clearly. I felt like she was coming totally from her ego and being attacking towards me. At one point she sort of shut me out and put on her headphones, so I had some time to reflect on the discussion and see it differently. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me see it all differently, and I began writing in my journal the insights the came to me. Afterwards, I felt waves of peace beginning to come over me, and I laid down to go to sleep. Shortly thereafter, as if my peace had extended outward, Armelle put her arms around me and it was as if the argument had never happened. It's so great to see how this stuff can work! :-)

Anyway, here's what I wrote in my journal that helped me come to the clarity and peace...

If Armelle is getting upset with me for any reason, then it is really that I am doing it to myself. It is really just that I am still choosing to make attack real in my mind and then see an external symbol of that. But in the moment when I perceive the attack, if I am willing to question the interpretation of what I’m seeing an attack, and become willing to recognize the Infinite Love that is Everywhere which renders the images of the world and the bodies as meaningless, then I will no longer be focusing on the image-concept of an angry body. If I’m no longer interested in that idea, I won’t see it anymore. It’s just like when I became disinterested in watching TV; I just don’t see it anymore. It may even appear that a body is still shouting at me or even being vicious, but rather than getting hypnotized and zooming in on that one, tiny image, and giving it a special meaning (ie. “She is getting upset with me. She should be taking it back to herself, etc..”), I instead will be aware of the Whole which has no parts. This will completely transform the way that the images are perceived, for they will be seen as nothing more than a thin veil which tried to cover the Face of Christ. The Face of Christ will shine through the veil now because it is what I’m asking for, being that I have given up interest in specialness of any kind.

The more I remember all of this, and practice it, the more I see the miracle happening, which is nothing more than a complete shift in perception for me. The seemingly “other” person usually feels it too and "flips" into a witness for peace at some point, although maybe not immediately. But usually far more quickly than if had I “fed the fire” of the ego by still perceiving the ego as real in them and something I needed to get rid of.

Ultimately, I wish to see that everyone is already enlightened. And that is actually the Truth that is, outside of the illusion of time and space. Everyone is already enlightened and always has been. It was only MY illusory dream and my erroneous interpretations within that dream that made it seem otherwise.

So I think I'll practice remembering that now. There's no one outside of me. Only God is real, and there is no other power or reality or Will than God's.

-Erik

Let do ... Welcome miracles

2010-05-03T10:30:00.002-05:00

I always want something different, something other than what is there ... and everything is there, but I do not want it, I want more, I want something else.  I really want there to be a quest, that there be a path on which to walk, that there be something to find ... I do not want what is there, just now. For if there is a quest, there is a seeker and that's what makes me special, seeking. And if I no longer search, I'm not special.  Because that's where it all began, the Son had everything, everything was there and he wanted to go elsewhere, he wanted more, something else, something different and we replay that over and over again indefinitely, not taking what life offers us in the flow, and desperate to have our own individual will and create what we believe to be good for us. And struggles come from wanting to still play in both worlds, to be part of both worlds.  

I saw it tonight regarding my trip to Toronto where for several days, I was inspired to contact a friend to spend the first days at his place, and as he did not respond the way I had hoped, I didn't answer anything, and I got it into my head that I had no place to sleep on arrival and I would see what the Spirit would give me, opening myself to other possibilities. But everything had already happened, everything was already done, planned, and yet I did not want to see it, because it didn’t meet what I wanted, imagined.

But who was wanting?   So I wanted something else, so I imagined that there could be something else, something even better. But I'm not following this path for me to make friends, but for the healing of the mind and I do not know what my best interest is. So I have to trust what the Spirit gives me and defer to Him, to the guidance that I feel in me and not try to do things differently in my own way, to seek again and again ...

STOOOOOOP! It’s time to stop seeking. It is time to stop and see that Everything is already there ... that is what Spirit was telling me the last night at the center "Rest. Do nothing. Do nothing anymore. I’ll take care of everything ... "  

Wow miracles are flying, this is crazy. I just finished writing all that and opened my FaceBook and I saw that Janet, from Toronto just wrote me and asked me my flight number, arrival time and told me not ask questions about my lodging. It's wonderful, absolutely wonderful. I had just accepted what was there, realized I did not need to search for anything else, and now the Spirit is manifested through my sister to talk to me ...  I replied, telling her about this friend I had not heard from recently, but to whose house I was obviously guided to go, although I haven’t had a reply, although I have no assurance, even if I don’t know it with the certainty of this world, I know that everything has already happened, I know that everything is orchestrated. I shared with her that I had this confidence in the Holy Spirit and I felt that everything was perfect.  She replied instantly saying she would be at the airport to greet me with a sign with my name and that I would have a place to sleep, everything is taken care of for me ... She and Carlos are taking care of everything!  

It's wonderful ... I burn from the inside, it's so huge, it's so true, it's crazy!

  Stop wanting more, stop wanting something else ... Open your eyes to what is ALREADY HERE.... and let go to Spirit, trust Him, a trust complete ...  What joy ... He does everything, I do nothing ...

Love
Armelle
Translated by Andy

In the silence

2010-04-28T13:27:00.003-05:00

In the silence of Eternity reigns Life
with gentleness and simplicity, things are happening.
No need for plan, no effort to do, everything happens exactly the way it supposed to
Trust and surrender are companions of this deserved rest.
No, my friends, there is nothing to do;
no, nothing can be changed, forced
remember, everything is perfect.
Things come and go, as people that surround you.
Nothing as meaning, except the one that everything is used for you to learn, again and again, the meaninglessness of this world that you see.
Nothing, there is nothing.
Emptiness... absence
rich and full of Presence
here is the Truth
here is the wholeness that you Are
there is nothing to do, except not interfere
let the flow go, follow
nothing for asking questions and expecting from
no answer that would give meaning
anyway there is nothing to understand
live, live
stop seeking...
everything is here, now
you've never stopped being what you Are
you've never been separated
then stop seeking
stop, and simply recognize
believe, believe Him, believe Me
if there is one thing to believe, this is the One
you are this Presence
you are this Awareness
and nothing, absolutely nothing can change it
nothing can alter it
nothing can making it going away from you
except if you choose to give the power to
there is nothing to seek, for it's there
you Are there, now and every moment of the now
then love, and rejoice
nothing has ever been taken from you
you still are what you've always been
today, sipmly, open your eyes and see...

I love You
Jeshua
Communication April 28th

Armelle

David Hoffmeister on the marriage prompt

2010-04-25T11:53:00.003-05:00

Friends,
Here's a video from the Mallorca devotional retreat with David Hoffmeister that Armelle and I attended in which he is answering the question, "Will the Holy Spirit ever ask us to do something we don't want to do?" Laughingly, I answered from the audience, "Marriage!" since that was certainly the last thing my ego (or Armelle's) would have wanted to do! But in this video, David talks about how helpful these types of guided prompts are for undoing the ego. Enjoy...

Pictures from Costa Rica

2010-04-25T11:37:00.005-05:00

Here's a few pics that were taken of us by our friends Dean & Judy at our recent stay with them in Costa Rica...