"If you cannot hear the Voice for God, it is because you do not choose to listen. 2 That you listen to the voice of your ego is demonstrated by your attitudes, your feelings and your behavior.3 Yet, this is what you want.4 This is what you are fighting to keep, and what you are vigilant to save.5 Your mind is filled with schemes to save the face of your ego, and you do not seek the face of Christ.6 The glass in which the ego seeks to see its face is dark indeed.7 How can it maintain the trick of its existence except with mirrors?8 But where you look to find yourself is up to you." T-4.IV.1
I was hearing this title again and again and didn't really know what to write. So I prayed and I've been led to my Course to read this... Then I understood what the Spirit wanted to teach me tonight...
Since my marriage with Erik so much stuff has come up. There has been very very intense time, and also quiet time, peaceful and loving. I was pretty new in the Course, and didn't really get a deep experiencing of the principles. I knew them for the most, but it wasn't experienced most of the time. I was still blaming Erik a lot for what was too intense for me...;-)
I was so arrogant and wanted to be so right. I never liked the feeling of being the one that has to learn, being the "student", so I was rarely opened to what Erik was willing to help me with, until I couldn't bear the pain of keeping holding onto "I want to be right", "I know better", "there is no one who needs help", or even "this is my experience so you cannot take it from me, and don't tell me it is not true!" (this one is a great one;-))).
There was such a deep unworthiness and such a strong unconscious desire to not feel that, to not accept it, to not go through it (even if on the surface it was talked about, I just didn't want to feel it deep down), kind of a desguised desire to keep it, by constantly projecting it outside onto Erik's behavior. It has been expressed and seen in so many different ways, I don't even remember, but most of the upsets we had were coming back to that same belief... that I am so unworthy, such a piece of shit, such an awful person, not lovable... (different variations to have more opportunities to bite into it, so ingenious!) Underneath that was the desire to hold onto my identity... I've been that all my life (even if I wasn't aware of it), what would I be without that story? Who would I be if I started to be happy, loved, gentle and true with myself, and that I was fully following my heart. Because guess what? That belief, is one of the core to not follow FULLY the Spirit! Even practicing the lesson... it says in the Course that we don't need concentration to do it, we just don't follow what is said because we don't feel worthy enough; and I feel it's so right.
The resistances I've been feeling all over this past year were about that... feeling unworthy! Oh yes, I've been looking at it, diving into it, going back to the past, analyzing it, and ... still there!
That's why I wrote this first paragraph, that's what I wanted to see, what I've always wanted to see... because I wanted to exist! I wanted so badly to exist on my own, by myself, being the center of everyone's world.... and so I was paying the ego price for it.
That was the deal: "You'll be the shining star, standing up on the first step of the podium, being the center of attention, such a special person, you'll succeed in everything you do, easily, and then one day something will fail and you'll think it's you who failed and you'll know the other face of the coin, for it's always one or the other. You cannot have one without the other, even if the other is just masked. Once there, we'll alternate so you keep go on playing the game of being a person. For you like so much the shiny part of it!!!"
And so I played... diligently, unconsciously, taking on the pain, for the pride, for the acclamations, to E-XI-ST!
The relationship with Erik, so well choosen by the Spirit (such a great matchmaker), was perfectly designed for it to come up, and be healed...
It didn't take one whole day for it to happen! The evening of our wedding day, it started... I felt so overwhelmed by that Love and anger showed his nose... and it was just the beginning of it. Then it came in jealousy, rejection, fear of abandonment, withdrawing myself, rage, wanting to die and a lot of other that I might be forgetting (you'll forgive that!!)
All that made me going through a lot of pain, sadness, feelings of powerlessness, being a victim of myself, the ego, Erik, others, seeing my path as being in a cult... I've been so violent with myself to protect it!
All that to not feel the unworthiness, all that to protect the identity, the mask, to not allow the Love to pour through, to not allow the Spirit to guide me (making Him fearful at times too), to not join with other mighty companions (I was feeling so inferior to them, and so afraid of my reactions, that I was afraid to join physically). Such a great play to keep me imprisoned in the role I've been playing all my life.
There has been so much resistances and every opportunity I had to take the words of Erik or a mighty companion to reinforce that was used to distract me from going on with the Course, to pull back from David or the Messengers, to not follow the guidance and reinforce that old friend pride, and arrogance, and rejection. For in those times, I was rejecting them as much as I could, lying to myself on what I was doing, and still being so aware that it was what was playing. I've lied so much to myself. I was so afraid that Erik could "cheat" on me, but I was so much cheating on my True Self, betraying the Truth about me all over again...
I was seeing in everyone what I wanted to see to keep those beliefs about myself, to keep being who I thought myself to be. I needed mirrors of this belief, so I couldn't see the Christ, didn't want to, it was my survival... It wasn't their acts or behaviors, but who I was choosing to be!
And I wasn't looking in the Spirit to find myself... in those moment... and it has cost so much pain and delays!
And no, beloved Brothers and Sisters, this need not be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The day of my interview at the embassy to immigrate to the States, I received an email with a statement saying something like "if you don't get what you want, it might be a great opportunity". I got my visa approved, but I had to wait another 12 days to receive it. At first it was ok, but then once I was with Erik on the phone, it came to a point, that once more, I wanted this relationship to end. I felt so punished and felt as if it was the end and that I would never see him again. So I wanted to end it now!
What I've been learning those last months is that I am not the one in control of what happens... whether I leave or stay! It is how it is, I am not the one deciding if the relationship will last or end. Which is great in time a crisis, for I know, even if I go through all that unnecessary pain, that I'll still be there, and that has been helpful in allowing all that deep repressed anger and rage to come up. Every time I was afraid he could leave me, I was ready to leave, but never did it.
All that had nothing to do with Erik... whatever the form it had, it was all and always about me and what I was trying to protect by acting in a certain way, by feeling in a certain way... He is just the angel put on my path to help me releasing all those blocks to Love. (full of gratitude)
We talked for hours and hours and hours that day... until finally everything was ok. Once all the fear released, all the thougths expressed, there was room for Love...
The next morning, one of the first thought was that it had to stop!!!! I really couldn't go on like this, it is so painful and it needs not be. So I prayed.
And 30 minutes later I had a plane ticket to go to Mallorca joining the devotional there with David and the messengers. And since then the Spirit doesn't stop to show me how loved I am, how worthy I am...
I felt such a shift just going there, just stopping resisting to what I felt was my life, my path... since the first moment I met Helena and David!
Screwing all that up to exist? Doesn't it sound crazy???
"Surrender...
Surrender Holy Child
Come and dive into my arms
I will hold you tie and never let you down
Come, come and make me First
For the Fruit of the Kingdom are Yours
Trust, trust and trust again
For I will never let you down
How could I, we are One?"
With Love and Gratitude
Armelle
Dec 6, 2010
Nov 18, 2010
Only that...
Mmmh... softness and love this morning when I woke up... as a warm wind that
As I was reading my emails, I was becoming aware that more and more it's difficult to answer, or it has less and less meaning, questions like "what have you done today?" or "how are you doing?"! Those last times, it seems more and more that there is nothing coming out of the mouth when those questions are asked. No words. It's as if my mind is empty. I have to make an effort to think about it. As if there was no answer, no more reference point to answer...
More and more, days are passing in that space of silence and emptiness, without anyone to claim on what has been lived or done... Time seems to disappear more and more, morning, afternoon or evening, it's all the same! The notion of time is erasing and it becomes the Moment, what's happening now. The day? Pfff... too difficult, I don't know, one or the other, all the same, nothing special... Life simply Is...
what I am doing... euh... I don't know... Who does what?
Softness and Silence... Intense wholeness of the Moment, that passes, and here is the next... and the next... And what if Life was just that...?
With Love, Eternally
Armelle
As I was reading my emails, I was becoming aware that more and more it's difficult to answer, or it has less and less meaning, questions like "what have you done today?" or "how are you doing?"! Those last times, it seems more and more that there is nothing coming out of the mouth when those questions are asked. No words. It's as if my mind is empty. I have to make an effort to think about it. As if there was no answer, no more reference point to answer...
More and more, days are passing in that space of silence and emptiness, without anyone to claim on what has been lived or done... Time seems to disappear more and more, morning, afternoon or evening, it's all the same! The notion of time is erasing and it becomes the Moment, what's happening now. The day? Pfff... too difficult, I don't know, one or the other, all the same, nothing special... Life simply Is...
what I am doing... euh... I don't know... Who does what?
Softness and Silence... Intense wholeness of the Moment, that passes, and here is the next... and the next... And what if Life was just that...?
With Love, Eternally
Armelle
Nov 17, 2010
You will never know your Self, you can only Be It...
This morning, as I was dancing, I felt going on the beach this afternoon. Some time later, Erik's father came in the meditation room and told us that it was the last day of sun today and it was time for us to go out and go to the beach! Erik's mother has already told him that earlier. It seemed we were all tuned in! And so became obvious that it was the guidance for the day...
As we were driving along the coast, near the marina, very slowly, admiring the landscape, I was watching the pear and was feeling I'd like to stop the car to take a picture, I was feeling it could make a beautiful picture. In front of this one, there was another one. So the thought came that I could go on this one to take the picture of the other one.
But none of this was about taking any picture... I didn't say anything to Erik, didn't ask him to stop the car to take any picture. So he went on driving in the direction of the one I wanted to picture, and as we were approaching it came the thought that if I was on that one, I couldn't take its picture, for I'll be on it, so I couldn't fully see it!
At that moment, what was shown to me is that we cannot know something except if we are separate from it. We can only know something that we are not. And so that we will never know who we are, we will never experience who we are... We can only be it! We can even not not be it. We are ... what we are, what we cannot be separate from and that we will never know. It will always stay a mystery, and never be known to us. We will remain in the not knowing. And in that not knowing there is space, lightness, for there is nothing to strive for, nothing to reach... anyway we'll never know! But we are... and have always been!
I Love so much the way Life is teaching me....
Joy and Love of Being
In loving service...
Armelle,
Aug 19, 2010
Take no thought for tomorrow...
Erik: I've been reading the Bible more lately, especially the words of Jesus, to get more acquainted with what he supposedly said 2000 years ago. And also to really practice discerning the true spiritual meaning behind the words, which has been very illuminating.
Today I was reading the Sermon on the Mount, and found great peace in this passage, which I'd like to share my interpretation of...
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof “ (Matthew 6:33-34)
To me, the last two sentences are basically saying that you already have sufficient “evil”, or ego temptations, to be vigilant against today, so don't be preoccupied with the future. You don’t need to preoccupy yourself with tomorrow (or any time in the future), because tomorrow will take care of itself. You merely need to pay attention to what’s going on right now: how you feel, what your thoughts are, where you mind is at, etc... and then be willing to invite the Spirit in to abide with you in order to remind you of the Truth. In this way, we place our minds under the Guidance of Truth and Love, and learn that we can rely on that Guidance for everything in our lives, rather than relying on our own petty strength or limited intelligence.
This teaching has been so helpful for me on my path, for the ego is constantly trying to frighten me into worrying about the future - where will I be going, how will I be support myself and my wife, etc.. But Jesus is telling us not to worry about the future, but to keep our attention on the here and now. Indeed, he tells us, "Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on." (Matthew 6:25)
Over the years, as I've practiced keeping my attention on removing the ego blocks to Love's awareness, the ego's voice has become much less frightening to me. I simply don't take it as seriously as I once did, recognizing it for what it is - a meaningless attempt to hide from the Light by the part of my mind that is still attracted to separation. By the same proportion, my trust in the Spirit has grown, and I've experienced first hand how all the particulars in my life can be handled easily and Joyfully and without effort or planning - when I place my full attention only on what's in front of me right now that is blocking my awareness of the Kingdom of Heaven within. By bringing my awareness continually back to this moment, watching my mind for the distractions of the ego and repeatedly asking for help from the Spirit of Christ within me, my mind has become clearer and clearer.
In this way, I have indeed found it to be true that when you seek first the Kingdom of Heaven (which is to seek and remove the barriers I've placed between myself and God), then all else that is necessary is indeed added unto me. Such peace that is then available...
Love,
Erik
Today I was reading the Sermon on the Mount, and found great peace in this passage, which I'd like to share my interpretation of...
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof “ (Matthew 6:33-34)
To me, the last two sentences are basically saying that you already have sufficient “evil”, or ego temptations, to be vigilant against today, so don't be preoccupied with the future. You don’t need to preoccupy yourself with tomorrow (or any time in the future), because tomorrow will take care of itself. You merely need to pay attention to what’s going on right now: how you feel, what your thoughts are, where you mind is at, etc... and then be willing to invite the Spirit in to abide with you in order to remind you of the Truth. In this way, we place our minds under the Guidance of Truth and Love, and learn that we can rely on that Guidance for everything in our lives, rather than relying on our own petty strength or limited intelligence.
This teaching has been so helpful for me on my path, for the ego is constantly trying to frighten me into worrying about the future - where will I be going, how will I be support myself and my wife, etc.. But Jesus is telling us not to worry about the future, but to keep our attention on the here and now. Indeed, he tells us, "Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on." (Matthew 6:25)
Over the years, as I've practiced keeping my attention on removing the ego blocks to Love's awareness, the ego's voice has become much less frightening to me. I simply don't take it as seriously as I once did, recognizing it for what it is - a meaningless attempt to hide from the Light by the part of my mind that is still attracted to separation. By the same proportion, my trust in the Spirit has grown, and I've experienced first hand how all the particulars in my life can be handled easily and Joyfully and without effort or planning - when I place my full attention only on what's in front of me right now that is blocking my awareness of the Kingdom of Heaven within. By bringing my awareness continually back to this moment, watching my mind for the distractions of the ego and repeatedly asking for help from the Spirit of Christ within me, my mind has become clearer and clearer.
In this way, I have indeed found it to be true that when you seek first the Kingdom of Heaven (which is to seek and remove the barriers I've placed between myself and God), then all else that is necessary is indeed added unto me. Such peace that is then available...
Love,
Erik
Aug 14, 2010
Clarity, simplicity...
We just watched the movie "the Shift" from Wayne Dyer, it the thrid time in four months for me, and every time it brings me back to that same place... IT'S SO SIMPLE... In the same time, it sows other gifts on my way, which are allowing me to go deeper yet. And that Truth come from my heart, my Being.
And from that seeing, what comes to me is that all is so simple!
The Course in an help, to go along on my path, not another opportunity to create a special relationship, even thought it is not wrong, for nothing is wrong, anyway! But it is a pointer to the Truth within...
I don't have to make it a new religion, using his metaphysics terms to speak to everybody, his words to teach to everybody. The Course is for me... for my practice! It's there to show me the way. Once I understood the meaning of his message, I practice it, for me, because it's for me, not for anyone else! I can leave on the side those special terms, the book even. I become the Course, I live the Course, I am the Course, in a sens.
I don't have to tell to everybody that the world doesn't exist, as well as the body is, etc... Just knowing it, for myself. Because that, as well as true forgiveness is what is helping us to remember our true nature, for a while. It helps us to have some detachement, regarding everything. And not being attached anymore to any specifics, I'm not suffering anymore. I'm not taking anything personnally, knowing I am not this body, this person, knowing who I trully am...
I don't have to shout that to everybody, it could create more separation, if I use those words, ideas to show how different I am, how special, spiritual, evolved, superior, better....
To teach is to demonstrate. So I don't have to go to anybody and talk to them about all that to make them evoluate, change, to teach them something, for the world to change...just to change my mind about all that and follow my guidance, the Spirit in me, my heart to talk to the ones that are sent to me, knowing they have been sent for that. I don't have anything to do by myself, coming from my will.
Being, looking, living from that postion of detachement, it's being in the I am, in the Holy Spirit, in the love, bathed in our true Being. And from there, I extend, extend what I am, what we all are... this Awareness. I see who are my Brothers, their Innocence, Perfection. For wherever is coming from what they say, what they do, ego or Spirit, what is important is from where I want to look at, live, love. This is always my practice, my lesson.
If I take the Course fully, I practice it in everything, every moment, and then from that position of the Holy Spirit, with the Holy Spirit, I look at the world with love and trust, knowing that everything is always perfect, that I am not guilty of anything (for there is no guilt), has never done anything wrong (it was just a thought!) and that He is taking care of everything, Life is taking care of itself, I have nothing to do, just not interfere, just giving all the desire I may still have and follow Him, go with the flow of Life. Everything happens at the perfect moment. Anyway, I am never the one in charge, it was just an illusion!
I was also seeing that when we grow, we loose our carelessness, and we start to fear consequences, as if I've done something wrong and that I am expecting in every moment to be punished. The child is in the moment, in what he is living, doing. He doesn't think about the futur, what it may look like, what might happen, will there be consequences or not...
I was thinking about that for in the movie, a mother is offered a lollypop by someone. And at first she is surprised and say no, but then suddenly, something happens and she says YES! And I felt it was like saying YES to the child, YES to the innocence, YES to now, YES.............. just YES............ without thought, guilt, fear of anything, just YES!! And I was seeing with that how much we are always thinking about later, and not that much spontaneous... This is what becoming a child again means... Children just enjoy the moment, are in the moment, whatever it is... pain, joy, anger, tears, playfulness... they just live it!
Aren't we the beloved child of God?
With Love
Armelle
And from that seeing, what comes to me is that all is so simple!
The Course in an help, to go along on my path, not another opportunity to create a special relationship, even thought it is not wrong, for nothing is wrong, anyway! But it is a pointer to the Truth within...
I don't have to make it a new religion, using his metaphysics terms to speak to everybody, his words to teach to everybody. The Course is for me... for my practice! It's there to show me the way. Once I understood the meaning of his message, I practice it, for me, because it's for me, not for anyone else! I can leave on the side those special terms, the book even. I become the Course, I live the Course, I am the Course, in a sens.
I don't have to tell to everybody that the world doesn't exist, as well as the body is, etc... Just knowing it, for myself. Because that, as well as true forgiveness is what is helping us to remember our true nature, for a while. It helps us to have some detachement, regarding everything. And not being attached anymore to any specifics, I'm not suffering anymore. I'm not taking anything personnally, knowing I am not this body, this person, knowing who I trully am...
I don't have to shout that to everybody, it could create more separation, if I use those words, ideas to show how different I am, how special, spiritual, evolved, superior, better....
To teach is to demonstrate. So I don't have to go to anybody and talk to them about all that to make them evoluate, change, to teach them something, for the world to change...just to change my mind about all that and follow my guidance, the Spirit in me, my heart to talk to the ones that are sent to me, knowing they have been sent for that. I don't have anything to do by myself, coming from my will.
Being, looking, living from that postion of detachement, it's being in the I am, in the Holy Spirit, in the love, bathed in our true Being. And from there, I extend, extend what I am, what we all are... this Awareness. I see who are my Brothers, their Innocence, Perfection. For wherever is coming from what they say, what they do, ego or Spirit, what is important is from where I want to look at, live, love. This is always my practice, my lesson.
If I take the Course fully, I practice it in everything, every moment, and then from that position of the Holy Spirit, with the Holy Spirit, I look at the world with love and trust, knowing that everything is always perfect, that I am not guilty of anything (for there is no guilt), has never done anything wrong (it was just a thought!) and that He is taking care of everything, Life is taking care of itself, I have nothing to do, just not interfere, just giving all the desire I may still have and follow Him, go with the flow of Life. Everything happens at the perfect moment. Anyway, I am never the one in charge, it was just an illusion!
I was also seeing that when we grow, we loose our carelessness, and we start to fear consequences, as if I've done something wrong and that I am expecting in every moment to be punished. The child is in the moment, in what he is living, doing. He doesn't think about the futur, what it may look like, what might happen, will there be consequences or not...
I was thinking about that for in the movie, a mother is offered a lollypop by someone. And at first she is surprised and say no, but then suddenly, something happens and she says YES! And I felt it was like saying YES to the child, YES to the innocence, YES to now, YES.............. just YES............ without thought, guilt, fear of anything, just YES!! And I was seeing with that how much we are always thinking about later, and not that much spontaneous... This is what becoming a child again means... Children just enjoy the moment, are in the moment, whatever it is... pain, joy, anger, tears, playfulness... they just live it!
Aren't we the beloved child of God?
With Love
Armelle
Aug 4, 2010
Walking with Jesus
Today is a silent and Inner Dance day at the Peace House, for the retreat... Mmmh... Deep.
We started the day by Inner Dance, which, that time had no end of session, for it was the invitation for the day... Dancing whenever we feel, and staying in that slow motion in which the Inner Dance puts us into, that state of total Presence.
So for me, it went on for the whole day... fabulous, with so many gifts and the simple miracles of Life.
Dancing to start the day, for a while, the sensation or I don't know how to call it of being someone disappeared. Totally melting in the movement of Life, being danced by the Spirit, merging into the everything, all the barriers were gone. Love was pouring. So much, that when I stopped and sit quietly, there was that overflowing gratitude and almost overwhelming Love. A piano piece of music did the rest to invite the sobbing and tears of JOY, ALIVENESS...
After a while in that state, I've been guided to go to the bank to pay the rent. I didn't want to move, just staying in that state. The Spirit then told me « you'll stay there, you'll follow me ». Ok then, I trust You. So I left. And I think I never walk so slowly for so long...
There was so much presence in every step, it was incredible, the love was pouring. It was so overwhelming that I started to be cold, and immediately the thought came in my mind that the body cannot feel, that cold is a thought in the mind, not depending on wheather conditions. It stopped.
In every step I was making, I was feeling the presence, the ground under the foot, the whole sole, amazing. Which gave the impression that only that part was existing, showing me how things are existing when you put the focus on!
On the way to go, I felt Jesus's presence so strong, as if He was by my side, and I was walking (I wrote waking at first!!!) holding His hand. One moment, it was so deep that I had the impression to be at His time, when He was in a human form, walking with Him through Jerusalem.
We've been listening to a Ken Wapnick talk the other day, in which he was talking about holding Jesus to walk through the crowd of guilt, I heard, which was the cloud of guilt, Erik told me! Funny for it had a lot of meaning for me that it was the crowd. It was what I was supposed to hear, apparently.
So we were walking through Jerusalem and I was holding His had, and we were crossing a huge crowd of people so angry. They were all pointing at me, staring at me, shouting at me. And we were walking together. One moment He asked me « do you feel it? » and I said « Yes, I am innocent... » then I paused and was feeling it more and more.... then I said « wow Jesus I feel so free, I am free... » at that moment some people in the crowd started to scratch my arms to blood and I didn't feel anything, there was no hurt, no sensation, nothing! « Jesus I don't feel it... And I love them sooo much. » at that time I was burning, there was just love pouring, it was amazing. Then those words came « they don't know... they really think they are that... » and there was just love for everything, everyone, just love manifesting in that picture; and that so huge feeling of Freedom and Innocence, like never before. And Jesus was silent, smiling the whole time, holding my hand, strengthening my strength by sharing His, by demonstrating His, by being so innocent and free and knowing the Truth about all our Brother and us.
Then I was suddenly back here, still walking so slowly on the side of the road, as if the time had stopped for a moment. It was like a glimpse of what True Freedom and True Innocence is.
I took the same way then usual but I saw other things for the first time. I saw so beautiful colored houses, flowers. I felt so much love in people's garden that I never saw before.
I stayed silence at the bank, no need to say a word, just being.
On the way back I stopped in front of the church, and saw a sign « welcome »! I felt I was supposed to stop there, but didn't feel going inside, so I went on. 5 meters farther, I saw a cross with Jesus on it. So I went back and came there. I fell on my knies and stayed there, with Him. And there again I felt so free. And He told me that was the message of the crucifixion... that we are free, that there He was free. For we are not the body, and the Spirit is free, eternally Free. It was amazing how much love was present at that moment, like a shower running on me.
I realized later that I had absolutely nothing to do or to think of when I am fully present, or fully absent should I say(!!), when there is identification with the Spirit, for every move is done for me when it supposed to happen, every word given at the perfect time.
I was also looking in front of me at the end of the road, like looking at the future, and feeling that even if I look there, what is important is the step I am making right now, and that' where all my atttention should be.
I felt how much Jesus had been guided me to go inside those last weeks, to stop looking outside thinking I would find the peace, the answers, the love... oustide of me, in a special teacher, in meeting some special people, in going to special places, in watching some special videos, just going inside and being with Him, listening to His voice more and more and learning to discern it from the other voices from the world. And at that moment, I was feeling how much I was so much more open to receive His love, how much I was really feeling that I was worthy of it, that I deserve it. Those last weeks of emphasizing on being inside and listening to Him have been so helpful. It was really the answer to my deep deep call...
He told me « it's even more that you deserve it, it is who you are, your natural state. You just forgot, and thought you were that, so I am just reminding you gently. You are more than worthy of It, you are It. »
Then I saw two kind of whole in the ground which for me seemed to be two hearts. And I was feeling how much our perception is depending on who we choose to look at things, and our interpretation on who we want to be our guide. And that the place I am looking from make the way I perceive things, from who I think I am, or form who I am, HS's.
It is really crazy all the things that we can see, realize, learn when we go slow, when we take the time, when we are so present to what is, that the rest disappear in what is...
This is really what I am going deeper and deeper with the practice of the Inner Dance. This is where it's leading me... that state of Truth. I can't really express it, it's like there is no word. I feel it's something to live... to experience... that we can't understand or grasp on, just living it!
Love Eternally
Armelle
We started the day by Inner Dance, which, that time had no end of session, for it was the invitation for the day... Dancing whenever we feel, and staying in that slow motion in which the Inner Dance puts us into, that state of total Presence.
So for me, it went on for the whole day... fabulous, with so many gifts and the simple miracles of Life.
Dancing to start the day, for a while, the sensation or I don't know how to call it of being someone disappeared. Totally melting in the movement of Life, being danced by the Spirit, merging into the everything, all the barriers were gone. Love was pouring. So much, that when I stopped and sit quietly, there was that overflowing gratitude and almost overwhelming Love. A piano piece of music did the rest to invite the sobbing and tears of JOY, ALIVENESS...
After a while in that state, I've been guided to go to the bank to pay the rent. I didn't want to move, just staying in that state. The Spirit then told me « you'll stay there, you'll follow me ». Ok then, I trust You. So I left. And I think I never walk so slowly for so long...
There was so much presence in every step, it was incredible, the love was pouring. It was so overwhelming that I started to be cold, and immediately the thought came in my mind that the body cannot feel, that cold is a thought in the mind, not depending on wheather conditions. It stopped.
In every step I was making, I was feeling the presence, the ground under the foot, the whole sole, amazing. Which gave the impression that only that part was existing, showing me how things are existing when you put the focus on!
On the way to go, I felt Jesus's presence so strong, as if He was by my side, and I was walking (I wrote waking at first!!!) holding His hand. One moment, it was so deep that I had the impression to be at His time, when He was in a human form, walking with Him through Jerusalem.
We've been listening to a Ken Wapnick talk the other day, in which he was talking about holding Jesus to walk through the crowd of guilt, I heard, which was the cloud of guilt, Erik told me! Funny for it had a lot of meaning for me that it was the crowd. It was what I was supposed to hear, apparently.
So we were walking through Jerusalem and I was holding His had, and we were crossing a huge crowd of people so angry. They were all pointing at me, staring at me, shouting at me. And we were walking together. One moment He asked me « do you feel it? » and I said « Yes, I am innocent... » then I paused and was feeling it more and more.... then I said « wow Jesus I feel so free, I am free... » at that moment some people in the crowd started to scratch my arms to blood and I didn't feel anything, there was no hurt, no sensation, nothing! « Jesus I don't feel it... And I love them sooo much. » at that time I was burning, there was just love pouring, it was amazing. Then those words came « they don't know... they really think they are that... » and there was just love for everything, everyone, just love manifesting in that picture; and that so huge feeling of Freedom and Innocence, like never before. And Jesus was silent, smiling the whole time, holding my hand, strengthening my strength by sharing His, by demonstrating His, by being so innocent and free and knowing the Truth about all our Brother and us.
Then I was suddenly back here, still walking so slowly on the side of the road, as if the time had stopped for a moment. It was like a glimpse of what True Freedom and True Innocence is.
I took the same way then usual but I saw other things for the first time. I saw so beautiful colored houses, flowers. I felt so much love in people's garden that I never saw before.
I stayed silence at the bank, no need to say a word, just being.
On the way back I stopped in front of the church, and saw a sign « welcome »! I felt I was supposed to stop there, but didn't feel going inside, so I went on. 5 meters farther, I saw a cross with Jesus on it. So I went back and came there. I fell on my knies and stayed there, with Him. And there again I felt so free. And He told me that was the message of the crucifixion... that we are free, that there He was free. For we are not the body, and the Spirit is free, eternally Free. It was amazing how much love was present at that moment, like a shower running on me.
I realized later that I had absolutely nothing to do or to think of when I am fully present, or fully absent should I say(!!), when there is identification with the Spirit, for every move is done for me when it supposed to happen, every word given at the perfect time.
I was also looking in front of me at the end of the road, like looking at the future, and feeling that even if I look there, what is important is the step I am making right now, and that' where all my atttention should be.
I felt how much Jesus had been guided me to go inside those last weeks, to stop looking outside thinking I would find the peace, the answers, the love... oustide of me, in a special teacher, in meeting some special people, in going to special places, in watching some special videos, just going inside and being with Him, listening to His voice more and more and learning to discern it from the other voices from the world. And at that moment, I was feeling how much I was so much more open to receive His love, how much I was really feeling that I was worthy of it, that I deserve it. Those last weeks of emphasizing on being inside and listening to Him have been so helpful. It was really the answer to my deep deep call...
He told me « it's even more that you deserve it, it is who you are, your natural state. You just forgot, and thought you were that, so I am just reminding you gently. You are more than worthy of It, you are It. »
Then I saw two kind of whole in the ground which for me seemed to be two hearts. And I was feeling how much our perception is depending on who we choose to look at things, and our interpretation on who we want to be our guide. And that the place I am looking from make the way I perceive things, from who I think I am, or form who I am, HS's.
It is really crazy all the things that we can see, realize, learn when we go slow, when we take the time, when we are so present to what is, that the rest disappear in what is...
This is really what I am going deeper and deeper with the practice of the Inner Dance. This is where it's leading me... that state of Truth. I can't really express it, it's like there is no word. I feel it's something to live... to experience... that we can't understand or grasp on, just living it!
Love Eternally
Armelle
Jul 19, 2010
When I am born again...
When I am born again....
I am not born to me... but to Him!
I forget everything I thought I was, anyway, I've always been wrong!
I don't have to go any special place, be with any special people for the Kingdom of Heaven is Within!
I stop thinking, being worried about things from the world, about what to eat, how to dress, how much money do I have, how this body looks like, where do I go, what do I do, what do I want... for He does it for me!
I stop thinking I am someone, for I've never been!
I stop thinking I know something for that's the way for Him to show me, to teach me, to guide me!
I give everything to everyone, for that's the way to know what I trully have, what I am!
I give Him my mind, my heart, and all I thought was me, for I want to follow Him!
I extend the gifts He gave me, for I want to know who I am!
I see the Christ in you, so I can know that I am!
I see the Light in you, for there is nothing else!
I see you as me, for there is no one else!
I disappear in the Grace, and let Grace dancing...
Love to Everyone, dear Brother!
Armelle
ps: the secret, is that He does everything through me,for me...;-)) I, is just another name for Him!
I am not born to me... but to Him!
I forget everything I thought I was, anyway, I've always been wrong!
I don't have to go any special place, be with any special people for the Kingdom of Heaven is Within!
I stop thinking, being worried about things from the world, about what to eat, how to dress, how much money do I have, how this body looks like, where do I go, what do I do, what do I want... for He does it for me!
I stop thinking I am someone, for I've never been!
I stop thinking I know something for that's the way for Him to show me, to teach me, to guide me!
I give everything to everyone, for that's the way to know what I trully have, what I am!
I give Him my mind, my heart, and all I thought was me, for I want to follow Him!
I extend the gifts He gave me, for I want to know who I am!
I see the Christ in you, so I can know that I am!
I see the Light in you, for there is nothing else!
I see you as me, for there is no one else!
I disappear in the Grace, and let Grace dancing...
Love to Everyone, dear Brother!
Armelle
ps: the secret, is that He does everything through me,for me...;-)) I, is just another name for Him!
Jul 2, 2010
There is nothing wrong with me. I am innocent!
As I had answer the Call of the Spirit to steward the Peace House in Ireland for this summer, I started to feel a deep shift happening in the self concept of Armelle. The day of the travel, Erik and I had several stops and transportations before arriving at Sarah's, which felt very helpful to me, as decompression chambers. As the ego was becoming crazy the more we were going, I kept the silence almost the whole way, going just inside.
Finally I came to the point, that maybe I've been wrong all my life about me, about who I am, and maybe I am still wrong about everything I am perceiving!
Wow, it was a huge step for me. having always felt I had to know everything, and I couldn't be wrong, otherwise I was in danger, I could die.
I immediately felt a lot of fears once arrived at the PeaceHouse that I shared, as everything that was coming up. And very soon, my state of mind completely shifted, to the point where I could allow myself, and finally believe that I am innocent.
In the same time, I was feeling guided to do, once again, the whole True Empathy section, so powerful!
Everything was reflecting what I was living, and showing me the answers and the way to go with it.
And today, as I wanted to share an insight and the joy of what I saw, I finally came back in the story once again, what Sarah pointed to me. The insight was about the fact that there was nothing wrong with me, and by joining with Erik on what he was going through, which was the same, the Spirit, gave me the answer to what I wasn't seeing for myself. I was just experiencing a sense of awkwardness, not knowing what it was about. So at the end, I thank Erik for that joining, I was so joyful
Then I felt lost and confused, and didn't understand what she was telling me. And I was trying to grasp on her explaining again. The point was that there was nothing wrong with me, and that I've been so used those last months thinking in terms of emotions and story, that every time, I feel something for I am receiving guidance, and I think there is something wrong with me, instead of seeing that I've been guided to look at something, or to do something.
Once she had left, I was feeling a sense of I don't know and it's ok to not know what is happening, I don't have to know, everything will happen when it's time, even the understanding of that! And a few second later, I felt the joy, the real joy pouring through me and a lot of laugther started... the expressions was "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME" I could see all that clearly, as I stop wanting to try to understand and just let it go.
Then the guidance came very clearly and in a so joyful way.
I feel so delighted at the reading of this section. it's not the first time I am reading it, and I am sure, I'll come back to it again. It has been so powerful and so lightening.
The most powerful insight was about the fact that if I am in false empathy with a brother, then I'll feel weak too, for I forgot who I am. The most beautiful gift I can do to myself and my brother is seeing the innocence and the perfection in both.
I am innocent, no matter what. And if so, my brother is too, for there is no need to project any guilt on him, if there is none in me. The way to see my brother innocent is to know that I am innocent myself. And that's what I am! Innocent. So are we;-)
Love
Armelle
Finally I came to the point, that maybe I've been wrong all my life about me, about who I am, and maybe I am still wrong about everything I am perceiving!
Wow, it was a huge step for me. having always felt I had to know everything, and I couldn't be wrong, otherwise I was in danger, I could die.
I immediately felt a lot of fears once arrived at the PeaceHouse that I shared, as everything that was coming up. And very soon, my state of mind completely shifted, to the point where I could allow myself, and finally believe that I am innocent.
In the same time, I was feeling guided to do, once again, the whole True Empathy section, so powerful!
Everything was reflecting what I was living, and showing me the answers and the way to go with it.
And today, as I wanted to share an insight and the joy of what I saw, I finally came back in the story once again, what Sarah pointed to me. The insight was about the fact that there was nothing wrong with me, and by joining with Erik on what he was going through, which was the same, the Spirit, gave me the answer to what I wasn't seeing for myself. I was just experiencing a sense of awkwardness, not knowing what it was about. So at the end, I thank Erik for that joining, I was so joyful
Then I felt lost and confused, and didn't understand what she was telling me. And I was trying to grasp on her explaining again. The point was that there was nothing wrong with me, and that I've been so used those last months thinking in terms of emotions and story, that every time, I feel something for I am receiving guidance, and I think there is something wrong with me, instead of seeing that I've been guided to look at something, or to do something.
Once she had left, I was feeling a sense of I don't know and it's ok to not know what is happening, I don't have to know, everything will happen when it's time, even the understanding of that! And a few second later, I felt the joy, the real joy pouring through me and a lot of laugther started... the expressions was "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME" I could see all that clearly, as I stop wanting to try to understand and just let it go.
Then the guidance came very clearly and in a so joyful way.
I feel so delighted at the reading of this section. it's not the first time I am reading it, and I am sure, I'll come back to it again. It has been so powerful and so lightening.
The most powerful insight was about the fact that if I am in false empathy with a brother, then I'll feel weak too, for I forgot who I am. The most beautiful gift I can do to myself and my brother is seeing the innocence and the perfection in both.
I am innocent, no matter what. And if so, my brother is too, for there is no need to project any guilt on him, if there is none in me. The way to see my brother innocent is to know that I am innocent myself. And that's what I am! Innocent. So are we;-)
Love
Armelle
Jun 20, 2010
Letting the Holy Spirit be in charge
As some of you may already know, Armelle and I have applied for her to get a Visa for permanent residency in the US (also known as a "green card") since we have been married last October. The process takes several months, and we are now at the stage where there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be filled out, in a very detailed and precise fashion, with no mistakes whatsoever. Since English is my first language and not Armelle's, I've been the one in charge of reading all the fine print and making sure that we are doing everything properly for the U.S. government.
In the past, things like this (i.e. doing my taxes)have felt very stressful, and now with this current undertaking, I sometimes am tempted to fall back into old patterns of thinking about it which trigger that same stress. Fortunately, the Course has taught me a new way of thinking which can be applied to absolutely anything in life in order to experience a sense of peace and flow.
What I've seen is that the stress only comes when I am trying to rely on myself alone to get the job done. But when I put the Holy Spirit in charge, and completely give up ALL of my ideas about how I think I should do things (easier said than done), then things ALWAYS flow FAR more smoothly.
In this case, with the immigration paperwork for Armelle, I've been feeling some stress lately from thinking that I need to get it done as quickly as possible, so that Armelle can immigrate as soon as possible. But whenever I make a goal out of anything other than the Peace of God (i.e. a quick immigration time) then it is impossible to experience true inner peace. As the Course teaches in so many words, true inner peace (the Peace of God) can ONLY be experienced when it is the only goal we hold in our minds. As soon as ANY worldly goal enters our mind, it blots out God from our awareness, and thus we cut ourselves off from the Source of true Strength.
So today, I've committed myself to simply "sitting at the feet" of the Holy Spirit to wait for my next instruction. I trust that He has everyone's best interest at heart, and will inform me of exactly what I am to do next regarding all this paperwork, exactly when I am supposed to do it. In this way, I am relieved of the burden of trying to decide everything using my limited intellect (very stressful)!
And even if I only hear the Holy Spirit a small fraction of the time such that I am only able to hear instructions for one small task per day, that's okay. Everything will still get done far more gracefully and smoothly than if I had "muscled through it" and tried to do everything as quickly as possible using my own mind alone. The Holy Spirit has wisdom that is far greater than my own, with a bird's eye view of the entire script of time and space, so only He can Guide me toward exactly what will be helpful at each step of the way.
And even if I fall into the trap of following my ego for a while and seem to get "off track" with a project, the Holy Spirit is like a GPS system in a car - it can always be "reset" to give you the fastest path to where you're going, even if you've missed some of its prior directions and have gotten "lost". In truth, we are never lost. We are just sometimes taking a longer pathway back to the awareness of God's Presence, which is the only Goal that matters. Everything else in this world is just a "backdrop", or a context for training the mind to listen more and more to only the Holy Spirit.
So today I trust Him completely. I trust that even though my fear sometimes leads me to take foolish actions which are hurried and awkward, I can't ever make a "fatal" mistake in truth. What I am is eternal, and I can never die. Whether Armelle gets her Visa or not, and when, ultimately doesn't matter at all. It is just a dream which is being used now for the sole Purpose of healing the mind. And so with God being my only Goal now, a Goal whose attainment is inevitable, there is no justification for anything but total peace and relaxation!
Both my healing AND the affairs of the my "personal" world are completely in the Hands of the Holy Spirit, and my job is merely to trust, listen, and follow His instructions to me. Working for Him is the most Joyful job in the world! It is my sole function, my sole "career", and my sole means of "income" (which in truth is only Love, but Which can appear symbolically as money, food, shelter, etc..). Everything is offered to me freely if I will but trust, listen, and follow... and all things work together for Good. Amen!
Love,
Erik
In the past, things like this (i.e. doing my taxes)have felt very stressful, and now with this current undertaking, I sometimes am tempted to fall back into old patterns of thinking about it which trigger that same stress. Fortunately, the Course has taught me a new way of thinking which can be applied to absolutely anything in life in order to experience a sense of peace and flow.
What I've seen is that the stress only comes when I am trying to rely on myself alone to get the job done. But when I put the Holy Spirit in charge, and completely give up ALL of my ideas about how I think I should do things (easier said than done), then things ALWAYS flow FAR more smoothly.
In this case, with the immigration paperwork for Armelle, I've been feeling some stress lately from thinking that I need to get it done as quickly as possible, so that Armelle can immigrate as soon as possible. But whenever I make a goal out of anything other than the Peace of God (i.e. a quick immigration time) then it is impossible to experience true inner peace. As the Course teaches in so many words, true inner peace (the Peace of God) can ONLY be experienced when it is the only goal we hold in our minds. As soon as ANY worldly goal enters our mind, it blots out God from our awareness, and thus we cut ourselves off from the Source of true Strength.
So today, I've committed myself to simply "sitting at the feet" of the Holy Spirit to wait for my next instruction. I trust that He has everyone's best interest at heart, and will inform me of exactly what I am to do next regarding all this paperwork, exactly when I am supposed to do it. In this way, I am relieved of the burden of trying to decide everything using my limited intellect (very stressful)!
And even if I only hear the Holy Spirit a small fraction of the time such that I am only able to hear instructions for one small task per day, that's okay. Everything will still get done far more gracefully and smoothly than if I had "muscled through it" and tried to do everything as quickly as possible using my own mind alone. The Holy Spirit has wisdom that is far greater than my own, with a bird's eye view of the entire script of time and space, so only He can Guide me toward exactly what will be helpful at each step of the way.
And even if I fall into the trap of following my ego for a while and seem to get "off track" with a project, the Holy Spirit is like a GPS system in a car - it can always be "reset" to give you the fastest path to where you're going, even if you've missed some of its prior directions and have gotten "lost". In truth, we are never lost. We are just sometimes taking a longer pathway back to the awareness of God's Presence, which is the only Goal that matters. Everything else in this world is just a "backdrop", or a context for training the mind to listen more and more to only the Holy Spirit.
So today I trust Him completely. I trust that even though my fear sometimes leads me to take foolish actions which are hurried and awkward, I can't ever make a "fatal" mistake in truth. What I am is eternal, and I can never die. Whether Armelle gets her Visa or not, and when, ultimately doesn't matter at all. It is just a dream which is being used now for the sole Purpose of healing the mind. And so with God being my only Goal now, a Goal whose attainment is inevitable, there is no justification for anything but total peace and relaxation!
Both my healing AND the affairs of the my "personal" world are completely in the Hands of the Holy Spirit, and my job is merely to trust, listen, and follow His instructions to me. Working for Him is the most Joyful job in the world! It is my sole function, my sole "career", and my sole means of "income" (which in truth is only Love, but Which can appear symbolically as money, food, shelter, etc..). Everything is offered to me freely if I will but trust, listen, and follow... and all things work together for Good. Amen!
Love,
Erik
Jun 11, 2010
When everything that never stays is going away...
There are thoughts that never happen... and there are things that are happening without having ever thought about it... Here is one of those...
When everything that never stays is going away...
Are we really in charge of something? What is the meaning of still watching my beliefs, holding the presence before everything else, choosing God, letting the thoughts go, etc...
What is the meaning, the purpose of all that? Who is the one who wants that? What is this practice? If everything is written, the moment of awakening isn't it too?
Can it come from a deep call, a deep desire?
The fact of wanting to live the awakening isn't it also kind of refusing to live what is here, now, the richness of the experience that is here, under my eyes? The awakening isn't it to be amazed of life, whatever her form, colour, odor is...? For, in reality, they all reflect the same thing... Life in her whole magnificence, which in the moment is manifesting herself in that way.
What is the meaning of all this seaking, all those changes, all those questions? What is the meaning of all that? I have the impression that there isn't anymore, that there is nothing anymore.
Why that way rather than that one? They are all the same anyway, all a manifestation of life, without any separation. Seemingly differents, and all the same...
What is the meaning of this word rather than this one?
My mind will explode, explode inside. It seems that the traffic is more obstructed than the inside ring of Brussels in the rush hours, and still, something is there, watching all this.
There is space, silence.
The head is heavy, very heavy. The ears are buzzing. A lot of desorientation those last days. A deep humility is taking place. A lot of arrogance, still present, recognized, exposed and shared.
And a very deep sense of what's the use? And all those beliefs...pff.. we don't care!
A big joke, here is what it is... a very huge joke! Unworthiness, staying in the rows, being better... what's the use? To do what? For whom? Who? Who is there? Who wants that?
A bath of silence...no words, no words anymore! Stop to the words!
My mind doesn't want it anymore, cannot bare it anymore! Too much mental. Too many analysis. Too many solutions for problems that are even not existing!
And if we were simply stopping playing to be asleep? I don't really know what it means, neither do I what means anything, for it seems that everything is vanishing, going away... even the traffic on the inside ring is going as those letters are printing on this sheet.
So, finally, what is staying?
There is still that something that is watching all that, which is aware of all that, of that theater piece that is playing. And this silence... this emptiness...full. That wholeness...so intense, so much that no need for anything!
Sleeping? What for? But I am tired. Who? One drags his feet, suddenly doesn't have any strength, yawns, has the eyes tingling... And still so much energy, so much life. Who am I? What's happening?
No separation anymore? No conflict anymore? Everything is perfect. Total acceptance. Who thinks that it should be different? A break, in the silence, the presence. Nothing has to be different. Everything is perfect. An other opportunity of reminding me who I am.
Eating? But I am already full! But I want to eat, I'm hungry! What for? Because I want, because it's what we do everyday, because I like it, I'm used to it, because I want more...Mmmh... Silence, presence...thanks... Who am I?
Talking? Everything is already said! Words are heavy... Yes, but I want to communicate, I want to share, to let know. What for? Because it's that way that I am existing... I am talking, saying, telling, I am listened to, admired, heard, inspiring and I exist! Who is existing?
Being special? What for? No meaning anymore!
Just leaving my existence to Existence...
I don't know anymore, don't know, don't want anymore, don't want... Nothing is lost, everything is, pure manifestation of Life.
Thank you!
Love
Armelle
When everything that never stays is going away...
Are we really in charge of something? What is the meaning of still watching my beliefs, holding the presence before everything else, choosing God, letting the thoughts go, etc...
What is the meaning, the purpose of all that? Who is the one who wants that? What is this practice? If everything is written, the moment of awakening isn't it too?
Can it come from a deep call, a deep desire?
The fact of wanting to live the awakening isn't it also kind of refusing to live what is here, now, the richness of the experience that is here, under my eyes? The awakening isn't it to be amazed of life, whatever her form, colour, odor is...? For, in reality, they all reflect the same thing... Life in her whole magnificence, which in the moment is manifesting herself in that way.
What is the meaning of all this seaking, all those changes, all those questions? What is the meaning of all that? I have the impression that there isn't anymore, that there is nothing anymore.
Why that way rather than that one? They are all the same anyway, all a manifestation of life, without any separation. Seemingly differents, and all the same...
What is the meaning of this word rather than this one?
My mind will explode, explode inside. It seems that the traffic is more obstructed than the inside ring of Brussels in the rush hours, and still, something is there, watching all this.
There is space, silence.
The head is heavy, very heavy. The ears are buzzing. A lot of desorientation those last days. A deep humility is taking place. A lot of arrogance, still present, recognized, exposed and shared.
And a very deep sense of what's the use? And all those beliefs...pff.. we don't care!
A big joke, here is what it is... a very huge joke! Unworthiness, staying in the rows, being better... what's the use? To do what? For whom? Who? Who is there? Who wants that?
A bath of silence...no words, no words anymore! Stop to the words!
My mind doesn't want it anymore, cannot bare it anymore! Too much mental. Too many analysis. Too many solutions for problems that are even not existing!
And if we were simply stopping playing to be asleep? I don't really know what it means, neither do I what means anything, for it seems that everything is vanishing, going away... even the traffic on the inside ring is going as those letters are printing on this sheet.
So, finally, what is staying?
There is still that something that is watching all that, which is aware of all that, of that theater piece that is playing. And this silence... this emptiness...full. That wholeness...so intense, so much that no need for anything!
Sleeping? What for? But I am tired. Who? One drags his feet, suddenly doesn't have any strength, yawns, has the eyes tingling... And still so much energy, so much life. Who am I? What's happening?
No separation anymore? No conflict anymore? Everything is perfect. Total acceptance. Who thinks that it should be different? A break, in the silence, the presence. Nothing has to be different. Everything is perfect. An other opportunity of reminding me who I am.
Eating? But I am already full! But I want to eat, I'm hungry! What for? Because I want, because it's what we do everyday, because I like it, I'm used to it, because I want more...Mmmh... Silence, presence...thanks... Who am I?
Talking? Everything is already said! Words are heavy... Yes, but I want to communicate, I want to share, to let know. What for? Because it's that way that I am existing... I am talking, saying, telling, I am listened to, admired, heard, inspiring and I exist! Who is existing?
Being special? What for? No meaning anymore!
Just leaving my existence to Existence...
I don't know anymore, don't know, don't want anymore, don't want... Nothing is lost, everything is, pure manifestation of Life.
Thank you!
Love
Armelle
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