Upcoming Gathering

Come into the Miracle
1 ½ Day Intimate Retreat with Armelle & Erik Archbold
Dec 29-30, Petaluma, CA

To end the year in a state of deep forgiveness and clarity!

The purpose of this retreat is to deepen in our practice of true forgiveness and devotion to the Holy Spirit's practical guidance for us in our day-to-day lives. During the majority of our time together, we will use The Clarity Process*, a helpful context for group sharing utilized at David Hoffmeister's monastery, which invites open expression of private thoughts and leads to a deeper clarity and sense of freedom.

Also interspersed throughout the retreat will be some songs from Erik, an Inner Dance (slow, meditative movement) session facilitated by Armelle, and movies with spiritual themes in the evenings... all for the Purpose of helping us get in touch with our innermost feelings, and beneath those, the Truth of our Being!

Where? 307 6th Street, Petaluma (For those who do not live close by, there is the possibility of spending the night here, one or both nights. Ask us if interested.)

When? Dec 29th – 3:00 p.m. until 10:00 p.m.
Dec 30th – 10:00 a.m. until 10:00 p.m.

Suggested Donation: $90

For more information and to register, please contact Armelle via email at
armellesix@yahoo.fr or by phone at 707-364-0957.

*For more info on The Clarity Process, visit:
http://www.miracles-monastery.org/documents/clarity_process.pdf

In the High of the Miracle

One week at the Living Miracle Monastery in Utah, with devoted Brothers and Sisters... A deep Life Changing Experience!

18 hours travel and 3 differents airports to go from San Francisco to Salt Lake City. I felt having been lost, in Purpose, not knowing where I am, forgetting who I thought I was...

One day later, I arrived there, warmly welcomed by Kerri and JP, to start.

This week had for themes communing with everyone and everything, collaborating and knowing my deep Innocence....

Healing the pride

I immediately dove into the healing... starting by having the cleaning of the bathhouse as project; the first reaction was anger (pride surfacing) and almost simultaneously bubbles of Joy were exploding in my heart. I was so happy to be given that opportunity again where I've been having so much stuff coming up and rebelliousness. It was such a great opportunity to heal the pride and unworthiness still there, as well as coming into the Miracle that I've been experiencing when I was cleaning the PeaceHouse last year, where the only that mattered, once expressed all the blocks and beliefs, was to extend the love in everything, giving to all. It wasn't at all about cleaning anything! As it always is... just about love!
I started my project after the expression session, singing, and feeling so much love for everything.

Undoing the doer and collaboration

As I had expressed at Lisa the huge desire for collaboration and coming into that flow and wonderful experience of linking with my Brothers, one hour later, my prayer was answered (and it was just the beginning of it). We had to carry the wood under the roof, and were all there, in line, passing piece of wood by piece of wood to the one by our side. I felt so loved by my Father. As soon as we started I looked Frances, who was on my right, in the eyes, and saw an angel. On the left there was Ben and I connected with him too, and immediately I felt that it's what's all about... nothing to do with the wood, nothing to do with doing... and since that moment, I didn't look at the piece of wood that I was receiving, carrying and giving, but only in the eyes of those two angels... it was as if every time we were saying to each other "I know who you are" and suddenly the wood had no weight anymore, and I felt like if I was dancing the waltz. We were giggling and laughing as the love was pouring through... It's never about doing anything, but about extending Love, falling in Love, being in Love

Pull to be perfect OUT!

The evening we had a Joy session where Anna Carol poured her heart in, sharing her love through the Universal Dances, which were about "opening up" and then finished by singing. I felt singing that song that I wrote three months ago in Sweden and for which Erik and I didn't come to put the music on. It felt very given and so joyous so I did, without any music. And it was fabulous, for it was just about pouring my heart out, not about being perfect! Being in the Joy and extending... This song has for title "I Am", that's what it was about!! At the end of the evening, Kris offered me to put some music on it, which felt really great!! Thank You....

Innocent NOW!

Twice a week, Kerri is giving a MMT session, and this one was about guidance. This was so perfect to me as I was sharing the day before that I wasn't trusting myself that much when it was coming to guidance, for I was still so afraid of making a mistake.

The session started by the title "Innocent Now = Worthy Now, Joy Now"
I just had a call with Erik right before, where I've been angry, and it felt that this session was about deeply seeing what was playing with him.

It started when Leila shared that once we've identified the wrong thinking, and when it comes, we can unplug it immediately. So I wrote the thought that was always playing with Erik when the ego was involved. Then I wrote down how I was using this relationship, to reinforce what? Seeing that I was still giving more importance to Erik than to God, wanting to be in relationship with Erik instead of being in relationship with God (the Self however you want to call it) and extending the love from there, still wanting to having it my way and not necessarily how it's given, trying to controle it, wanting to be a priority for Erik, making him being a priority to me even prior to following my guidance sometimes and I still project on him to keep the conflict and the separation going on.

Then came the biggest part.... I saw that in spite of what I thought, what I was doing, I didn't want to be worthy!! For, WHO WILL I BE IF I AM NOT UNWORTHY ANYMORE?
This is my whole identity, the core of who I take myself to be, how I know me, me , me... And I was putting so much pressure onto me if I am worthy, creating a new identity, the one worthy.. I'll have to live up to some new standards, always being in the joy, never being upset anymore, demonstrate that only, being responsible ... being perfect actually! What an unnecessary pressure... Avoiding it, to keep the littleness going on, not having to be responsible for my state of mind, always being a victim of the mind, the ego, the thoughts, emotions.... NO, NO, NO! WOW, so much clarity.

Then I saw that I couldn't believe Erik, and everyone, could trully love me because I am so unworthy and so he (they) must be people pleasing me. So sometimes I was taking their love for an attack, a disguised hatrid, false empathy for they know how unworthy I feel, they see it, so they are not true with me, they do that for me to feel worthy, and actually it reinforces the feeling of unworthiness!
But NO ONE is doing anything! I was doing that to myself, using everyone for reinforcing it, the beliefs in my mind about me!

And at the end, my eyes stopped once again on the title "INNOCENT NOW = WORTHY NOW"
And wow... huge! I saw that I was still not following the guidance, even if I hear it, and doing things my way, in order to AGAIN reinforce the belief in unworthiness, so that everybody could see that I am not worthy, not trust worthy, rebellious, etc, and proving that I am not lovable, at the end, so that I keep my individuality! Not following the guidance to reinforce the unworthiness and then projecting judgements from others (which others???), fear of consequences, fear of rejection, abandonment!!
It felt such a release to see that, see how it plays out, how it is kept running.

No consequences from the past

Later I called Erik to share with him, but had no answer. When I was in my bed, I had some fear that he would leave me because of the call we had. I had gone too far. And felt fearful of being abandoned. In that moment, there was also a seeing that it is not possible that if he was to leave me it would be because of that phone call. It would be that it is what's happening, because it was meant to be that way. For there is nothing from the past that causes what I'm living in the Present. What I am feeling now, is my present choice, my present decision; and here I was given the opportunity to look at the fear of consequences and abandonment! wow...

Deep clarity

I woke up during the night hearing "you are not a body", and being in the feeling I experienced the day before when I was playing intuitive piano, there was a moment in which there was no sensations, no feeling, there was just the hands moving on the keybord, but no one moving it; it felt just like watching a scene in a movie. And in that moment, there was a recognition that clearly I am not the body! Then I felt such a clarity, a deep clarity, never experienced before... I felt so immerged in the light, and as quiet as I was, I was also seeing a little girl running everywhere around the Monastery, looking in all directions, and shouting "oh my God, it's everywhere, it's everywhere. there isn't one place where it is not... oh my God" and she was so happy, and unstoppable.

The game of the littleness vs the Certainty of Christ

During the stay I've been watching a lot the behaviors that were coming from the littleness, from the fear of shining, the desire for being taken care by someone, getting attention from someone, the fear of Love really that where it leads and how all those are playing out in my life over and over again... and how once seen and exposed, they don't have any power and there is room for the Love of Christ to shine through and guide the way!
One evening, I joined with JP with which I felt a deep connection, and I shared all what I was seeing. I could feel there was a lot of love, and as we were talking about joining together later, I saw the game of "I am so afraid of love", that I've already been seeing so many times. And more and more even when saying it, it didn't resonate anymore, it didn't feel true at all. I left for a moment and during that time I realized the play of that littleness, everything was seen so clearly! So when I came back, I told him, "I'm fed up of being afraid of Love, it doesn't even seem true anymore, I just want to go for it" It was so powerful, like a celebration for me! yeahhhhhh

The day after, we spent most of the morning together, and it was really funny because it was really about allowing that Love to pour through us, through our joining, and extending it to everyone who came to us or that we met during the day. It was such a demonstration of communion and extension. The whole day I felt bathing in Love, going from extending to deep meditations to extending...

Sharing the Gift of Inner Dance

I was really offered the FULL experience of the Monastery... Such an intensity, such a depth and a welcoming... One evening, I offered an Inner Dance Session right before the prayer night. One participant shared how deep it was for her and that it revelead that deep love which was pouring through her as dancing, and it's exactly what this si about... reconnecting with that Flow, that deep Love, our Essence, undoing everything we thought that dance was, as well as the dancer, and being danced through. It's always so beautiful for me to share it...I feel so blessed by the Spirit for that Gift. And for me, it's about bringing that into everything I'm doing, into the daily activies... being done through, this is the meaning of "I need do nothing".

Lifting the veil

Every morning, there is a Miracle Moment, which is an opportunity for one different person every day, to express a miracle, an insight, an undoing, healing, or a reading... Since I knew the date it was coming for me, I've been hearing "lifting the veil section"... I tried to find it in the contents without success. The day arrived, and all what I was hearing was "lifting the veil" but didn't find it. Until one moment, I felt it was in the "four obstacles" section. And here it was... I read it, without any confidence of what I was supposed to read... it's so long! (ah ah, as if the HS was thinking about that!!) One part took my attention, and I felt starting there. Then I heard that the theme of the day will be "My Brother is My Savior", as I was realizing the evening before how others are such a great gift for me, and seeing that where the fear and the littleness were playing again, there was an opportunity for growing, healing the belief of what I am not, and here I was seeing that what I was seeing in two of my Brothers, was the reflection of my fears, and an opportunity for me to come in the Certainty of Christ, it was so fabulous! so yes, the theme was really matching with my Gratitude... Once everybody there, I started to read and felt so deeply guided to what to read, passing over some passages to another one, sharing some realizations I had, as well as ending by the prayer at the end of the chapter 15 form the Course. It was so powerful for me, following so deeply, hearing so clearly Jesus, feeling so guided in everything. Three days before I was saying that I wasn't trusting me to hear the guidance, and how willing I was to hear it so clearly... and here it was! Lifting the veil, the fear of Love, of God, of my Innocence, of my Worthiness. Communing with my Brothers, joining, sharing all the Love, and removing the blocks... all the private thoughts that make us being fearful, shameful, etc... but we are not our thoughts! We are the changeless Love and Light, infinite and unlimited!

Falling in Love

I left the Monastery, the heart full of Love, having received the greatest Gift of all... Such a deep feeling of Innocence, a deep recognition which felt being the open door to Truth, to Love fully... And the two angels that welcomed me, Kerri and JP, were two wonderful reflection of me in that... one sharing his experience of it, the other reminding me to come back to that over and over, for this is the main thing!!! NO matter what's seems to happen on the screen, I am, YOu are Innocent! So let's fall in love with everything and everyone. As Erik has told me several times, this all what this path is about... falling in Love!
Hugging everyone, and receiving soooooo much Love from each of them, as giving everything... no holding back! In my experience, I felt we were all falling in Love with each other, revealing that so bright Light that We All Are.

It was so huge! I was in the car with JP, and couldn't say a word and still was ready to explode!!!!! He looked at me smiling, and it kind helped me to! So much Joy, laughter, Love. The car was full of Love as he said! So true...

Deep communion

We went to the Lighthouse before I left, working on some projects with high speed internet. Once those done, we started to do some music together and using that as a tool to deeply commune in the Spirit, seeing and sharing the blocks, and coming deeper in that Love and Joy. We made one song, so simple and so powerful though. When he played the music, I had that image of a little boy running in the field, and he felt something like that too. That was exactly it, Joy, Freedom and Innocence... this is what is all about.
That communion deepened as we were allowing the Spirit to pour through and going on sharing the private thoughts, following the guidance, and staying in the Presence. It felt as if time had stopped and there was only NOW.

Extending - Giving to keep

On the way to the airport, we met our friend, Melissa to whom we had the great opportunity to share all that Love that was pouring through, and reminding our Innocence, as well as how important it is to be gentle with ourselves. We don't need to push ourseleves through fear to undo, or heal... no pressure! Just being gentle... and letting Him lead the way. All that can be so loving, so joyful, so smooth and gentle... this was another step in the deepening of that for me who has been so hard with me that last year!

In the Strength of the Spirit

I feel my mind is so strengthened in the Truth. My already deep devotion to God's plan is sooooo deepened. My deep Love for Jesus is shining so brightly... I found again the little girl who was talking to Him almost everyday and running to go to church to hang on the cords and ringing the bells... the one who was singing in the chorus... the one who was playing the angel in the living crèche at Christmas... the one who was so spontaneous, so bubbling, so alive, so loving... Nothing can stop it! Everything is seen so fast, so clearly... and I can choose Peace instead of this...

In the Course, Jesus says something like... we will walk two by two through the ark, we won't go without our Brother... and unless you become as little children again, you won't go to the Kingdom of Heaven...


THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU, thank You God to have created Me as You, thank You Jesus for speaking to me louder, and pouring your Love on me and shining through me, thank You everyone for being, having been a part of my Life.

I Love You All
Armelle

Answering the Call.... No doubts! Let's gooooo....

Wow, wow, wow... I don't know really how to express how strong the flame is burning in my Heart, my whole Being!! I cannot sleep, it's so strong...

That last week, those last days have been so deep in healing for me, it's amazing. where there was grief, I found Gratitude and Love... and a huge release!
Going deeper and deeper, not letting one corner of my mind sleeping on his habits! everything is to be taken back, seen, and offered to Jesus for release... All this is so powerful! There is certainly more to see, and I welcome it so openly, for this is really all what I want... GOD! There is no doubt in my mind anymore, no other purpose than Him, nothing I want more than Him...

And that's what I'm going for... I am so happy...

I'm leaving for the Monastery tomorrow early in the morning... youhouuuuu
One week, it seems as if I was going for forever, as if I was leaving everything and never coming back... coming back to what anyway? everything that I just wrote is already gone, already the past, and now... now what? to be lived, only to BE...

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to join with David on skype and sharing the so so so deep deep Call of my Heart for God, Truth... and it was wonderful! Right after hanging up I went on in the MMT program and the next thing I did, was watching the movie clip from the Matrix on the undoing!!!! Do you want the blue pill or the red pill???? Be careful... I only offer you the Truth... nothing more!!!

YEAHHHH that's it!!! I take the red!!! the red pill... there is nothing I want more than that! And anyway, it feels to me that I came to a point where I couldn't go back to anywhere... for there is nowhere to go, it's already gone...

Then right after, the next section was "undoing the roles" perfect! right before leaving, just to make sure!!! and watching that movie "roi de coeur" was fabulous... how to play the role without being identified with it! We just wear costumes, but we take it so seriously and then we think it's us and we forget to play and laugh.... pfff... was wonderful!!

I had several wonderful encounters those last days, and it's so great to extend all that love that is pouring through me...

I am so grateful for everything...Thank You God for loving me so much and taking care of me as you do... for all the part where I am not trusting You fully yet, I am willing to, just show me how... for all what I am not hearing You fully yet, I am so willing, so make it louder... You are all what I want.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjDojEOiMcE

Lots of love
Armelle

This needs not be!

"If you cannot hear the Voice for God, it is because you do not choose to listen. 2 That you listen to the voice of your ego is demonstrated by your attitudes, your feelings and your behavior.3 Yet, this is what you want.4 This is what you are fighting to keep, and what you are vigilant to save.5 Your mind is filled with schemes to save the face of your ego, and you do not seek the face of Christ.6 The glass in which the ego seeks to see its face is dark indeed.7 How can it maintain the trick of its existence except with mirrors?8 But where you look to find yourself is up to you." T-4.IV.1

I was hearing this title again and again and didn't really know what to write. So I prayed and I've been led to my Course to read this... Then I understood what the Spirit wanted to teach me tonight...

Since my marriage with Erik so much stuff has come up. There has been very very intense time, and also quiet time, peaceful and loving. I was pretty new in the Course, and didn't really get a deep experiencing of the principles. I knew them for the most, but it wasn't experienced most of the time. I was still blaming Erik a lot for what was too intense for me...;-)

I was so arrogant and wanted to be so right. I never liked the feeling of being the one that has to learn, being the "student", so I was rarely opened to what Erik was willing to help me with, until I couldn't bear the pain of keeping holding onto "I want to be right", "I know better", "there is no one who needs help", or even "this is my experience so you cannot take it from me, and don't tell me it is not true!" (this one is a great one;-))).

There was such a deep unworthiness and such a strong unconscious desire to not feel that, to not accept it, to not go through it (even if on the surface it was talked about, I just didn't want to feel it deep down), kind of a desguised desire to keep it, by constantly projecting it outside onto Erik's behavior. It has been expressed and seen in so many different ways, I don't even remember, but most of the upsets we had were coming back to that same belief... that I am so unworthy, such a piece of shit, such an awful person, not lovable... (different variations to have more opportunities to bite into it, so ingenious!) Underneath that was the desire to hold onto my identity... I've been that all my life (even if I wasn't aware of it), what would I be without that story? Who would I be if I started to be happy, loved, gentle and true with myself, and that I was fully following my heart. Because guess what? That belief, is one of the core to not follow FULLY the Spirit! Even practicing the lesson... it says in the Course that we don't need concentration to do it, we just don't follow what is said because we don't feel worthy enough; and I feel it's so right.

The resistances I've been feeling all over this past year were about that... feeling unworthy! Oh yes, I've been looking at it, diving into it, going back to the past, analyzing it, and ... still there!

That's why I wrote this first paragraph, that's what I wanted to see, what I've always wanted to see... because I wanted to exist! I wanted so badly to exist on my own, by myself, being the center of everyone's world.... and so I was paying the ego price for it.

That was the deal: "You'll be the shining star, standing up on the first step of the podium, being the center of attention, such a special person, you'll succeed in everything you do, easily, and then one day something will fail and you'll think it's you who failed and you'll know the other face of the coin, for it's always one or the other. You cannot have one without the other, even if the other is just masked. Once there, we'll alternate so you keep go on playing the game of being a person. For you like so much the shiny part of it!!!"

And so I played... diligently, unconsciously, taking on the pain, for the pride, for the acclamations, to E-XI-ST!

The relationship with Erik, so well choosen by the Spirit (such a great matchmaker), was perfectly designed for it to come up, and be healed...

It didn't take one whole day for it to happen! The evening of our wedding day, it started... I felt so overwhelmed by that Love and anger showed his nose... and it was just the beginning of it. Then it came in jealousy, rejection, fear of abandonment, withdrawing myself, rage, wanting to die and a lot of other that I might be forgetting (you'll forgive that!!)

All that made me going through a lot of pain, sadness, feelings of powerlessness, being a victim of myself, the ego, Erik, others, seeing my path as being in a cult... I've been so violent with myself to protect it!

All that to not feel the unworthiness, all that to protect the identity, the mask, to not allow the Love to pour through, to not allow the Spirit to guide me (making Him fearful at times too), to not join with other mighty companions (I was feeling so inferior to them, and so afraid of my reactions, that I was afraid to join physically). Such a great play to keep me imprisoned in the role I've been playing all my life.

There has been so much resistances and every opportunity I had to take the words of Erik or a mighty companion to reinforce that was used to distract me from going on with the Course, to pull back from David or the Messengers, to not follow the guidance and reinforce that old friend pride, and arrogance, and rejection. For in those times, I was rejecting them as much as I could, lying to myself on what I was doing, and still being so aware that it was what was playing. I've lied so much to myself. I was so afraid that Erik could "cheat" on me, but I was so much cheating on my True Self, betraying the Truth about me all over again...

I was seeing in everyone what I wanted to see to keep those beliefs about myself, to keep being who I thought myself to be. I needed mirrors of this belief, so I couldn't see the Christ, didn't want to, it was my survival... It wasn't their acts or behaviors, but who I was choosing to be!

And I wasn't looking in the Spirit to find myself... in those moment... and it has cost so much pain and delays!

And no, beloved Brothers and Sisters, this need not be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The day of my interview at the embassy to immigrate to the States, I received an email with a statement saying something like "if you don't get what you want, it might be a great opportunity". I got my visa approved, but I had to wait another 12 days to receive it. At first it was ok, but then once I was with Erik on the phone, it came to a point, that once more, I wanted this relationship to end. I felt so punished and felt as if it was the end and that I would never see him again. So I wanted to end it now!

What I've been learning those last months is that I am not the one in control of what happens... whether I leave or stay! It is how it is, I am not the one deciding if the relationship will last or end. Which is great in time a crisis, for I know, even if I go through all that unnecessary pain, that I'll still be there, and that has been helpful in allowing all that deep repressed anger and rage to come up. Every time I was afraid he could leave me, I was ready to leave, but never did it.

All that had nothing to do with Erik... whatever the form it had, it was all and always about me and what I was trying to protect by acting in a certain way, by feeling in a certain way... He is just the angel put on my path to help me releasing all those blocks to Love. (full of gratitude)

We talked for hours and hours and hours that day... until finally everything was ok. Once all the fear released, all the thougths expressed, there was room for Love...

The next morning, one of the first thought was that it had to stop!!!! I really couldn't go on like this, it is so painful and it needs not be. So I prayed.

And 30 minutes later I had a plane ticket to go to Mallorca joining the devotional there with David and the messengers. And since then the Spirit doesn't stop to show me how loved I am, how worthy I am...

I felt such a shift just going there, just stopping resisting to what I felt was my life, my path... since the first moment I met Helena and David!

Screwing all that up to exist? Doesn't it sound crazy???



"Surrender...

Surrender Holy Child

Come and dive into my arms

I will hold you tie and never let you down

Come, come and make me First

For the Fruit of the Kingdom are Yours

Trust, trust and trust again

For I will never let you down

How could I, we are One?"



With Love and Gratitude

Armelle

Only that...

Mmmh... softness and love this morning when I woke up... as a warm wind that

As I was reading my emails, I was becoming aware that more and more it's difficult to answer, or it has less and less meaning, questions like "what have you done today?" or "how are you doing?"! Those last times, it seems more and more that there is nothing coming out of the mouth when those questions are asked. No words. It's as if my mind is empty. I have to make an effort to think about it. As if there was no answer, no more reference point to answer...

More and more, days are passing in that space of silence and emptiness, without anyone to claim on what has been lived or done... Time seems to disappear more and more, morning, afternoon or evening, it's all the same! The notion of time is erasing and it becomes the Moment, what's happening now. The day? Pfff... too difficult, I don't know, one or the other, all the same, nothing special... Life simply Is...

what I am doing... euh... I don't know... Who does what?

Softness and Silence... Intense wholeness of the Moment, that passes, and here is the next... and the next... And what if Life was just that...?

With Love, Eternally
Armelle

You will never know your Self, you can only Be It...

This morning, as I was dancing, I felt going on the beach this afternoon. Some time later, Erik's father came in the meditation room and told us that it was the last day of sun today and it was time for us to go out and go to the beach! Erik's mother has already told him that earlier. It seemed we were all tuned in! And so became obvious that it was the guidance for the day...


As we were driving along the coast, near the marina, very slowly, admiring the landscape, I was watching the pear and was feeling I'd like to stop the car to take a picture, I was feeling it could make a beautiful picture. In front of this one, there was another one. So the thought came that I could go on this one to take the picture of the other one.


But none of this was about taking any picture... I didn't say anything to Erik, didn't ask him to stop the car to take any picture. So he went on driving in the direction of the one I wanted to picture, and as we were approaching it came the thought that if I was on that one, I couldn't take its picture, for I'll be on it, so I couldn't fully see it!


At that moment, what was shown to me is that we cannot know something except if we are separate from it. We can only know something that we are not. And so that we will never know who we are, we will never experience who we are... We can only be it! We can even not not be it. We are ... what we are, what we cannot be separate from and that we will never know. It will always stay a mystery, and never be known to us. We will remain in the not knowing. And in that not knowing there is space, lightness, for there is nothing to strive for, nothing to reach... anyway we'll never know! But we are... and have always been!


I Love so much the way Life is teaching me....

Joy and Love of Being
In loving service...
Armelle,

Take no thought for tomorrow...

Erik: I've been reading the Bible more lately, especially the words of Jesus, to get more acquainted with what he supposedly said 2000 years ago. And also to really practice discerning the true spiritual meaning behind the words, which has been very illuminating.

Today I was reading the Sermon on the Mount, and found great peace in this passage, which I'd like to share my interpretation of...

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof “ (Matthew 6:33-34)

To me, the last two sentences are basically saying that you already have sufficient “evil”, or ego temptations, to be vigilant against today, so don't be preoccupied with the future. You don’t need to preoccupy yourself with tomorrow (or any time in the future), because tomorrow will take care of itself. You merely need to pay attention to what’s going on right now: how you feel, what your thoughts are, where you mind is at, etc... and then be willing to invite the Spirit in to abide with you in order to remind you of the Truth. In this way, we place our minds under the Guidance of Truth and Love, and learn that we can rely on that Guidance for everything in our lives, rather than relying on our own petty strength or limited intelligence.

This teaching has been so helpful for me on my path, for the ego is constantly trying to frighten me into worrying about the future - where will I be going, how will I be support myself and my wife, etc.. But Jesus is telling us not to worry about the future, but to keep our attention on the here and now. Indeed, he tells us, "Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on." (Matthew 6:25)

Over the years, as I've practiced keeping my attention on removing the ego blocks to Love's awareness, the ego's voice has become much less frightening to me. I simply don't take it as seriously as I once did, recognizing it for what it is - a meaningless attempt to hide from the Light by the part of my mind that is still attracted to separation. By the same proportion, my trust in the Spirit has grown, and I've experienced first hand how all the particulars in my life can be handled easily and Joyfully and without effort or planning - when I place my full attention only on what's in front of me right now that is blocking my awareness of the Kingdom of Heaven within. By bringing my awareness continually back to this moment, watching my mind for the distractions of the ego and repeatedly asking for help from the Spirit of Christ within me, my mind has become clearer and clearer.

In this way, I have indeed found it to be true that when you seek first the Kingdom of Heaven (which is to seek and remove the barriers I've placed between myself and God), then all else that is necessary is indeed added unto me. Such peace that is then available...

Love,
Erik

Clarity, simplicity...

We just watched the movie "the Shift" from Wayne Dyer, it the thrid time in four months for me, and every time it brings me back to that same place... IT'S SO SIMPLE... In the same time, it sows other gifts on my way, which are allowing me to go deeper yet. And that Truth come from my heart, my Being.


And from that seeing, what comes to me is that all is so simple!

The Course in an help, to go along on my path, not another opportunity to create a special relationship, even thought it is not wrong, for nothing is wrong, anyway! But it is a pointer to the Truth within...

I don't have to make it a new religion, using his metaphysics terms to speak to everybody, his words to teach to everybody. The Course is for me... for my practice! It's there to show me the way. Once I understood the meaning of his message, I practice it, for me, because it's for me, not for anyone else! I can leave on the side those special terms, the book even. I become the Course, I live the Course, I am the Course, in a sens.


I don't have to tell to everybody that the world doesn't exist, as well as the body is, etc... Just knowing it, for myself. Because that, as well as true forgiveness is what is helping us to remember our true nature, for a while. It helps us to have some detachement, regarding everything. And not being attached anymore to any specifics, I'm not suffering anymore. I'm not taking anything personnally, knowing I am not this body, this person, knowing who I trully am...

I don't have to shout that to everybody, it could create more separation, if I use those words, ideas to show how different I am, how special, spiritual, evolved, superior, better....


To teach is to demonstrate. So I don't have to go to anybody and talk to them about all that to make them evoluate, change, to teach them something, for the world to change...just to change my mind about all that and follow my guidance, the Spirit in me, my heart to talk to the ones that are sent to me, knowing they have been sent for that. I don't have anything to do by myself, coming from my will.


Being, looking, living from that postion of detachement, it's being in the I am, in the Holy Spirit, in the love, bathed in our true Being. And from there, I extend, extend what I am, what we all are... this Awareness. I see who are my Brothers, their Innocence, Perfection. For wherever is coming from what they say, what they do, ego or Spirit, what is important is from where I want to look at, live, love. This is always my practice, my lesson.


If I take the Course fully, I practice it in everything, every moment, and then from that position of the Holy Spirit, with the Holy Spirit, I look at the world with love and trust, knowing that everything is always perfect, that I am not guilty of anything (for there is no guilt), has never done anything wrong (it was just a thought!) and that He is taking care of everything, Life is taking care of itself, I have nothing to do, just not interfere, just giving all the desire I may still have and follow Him, go with the flow of Life. Everything happens at the perfect moment. Anyway, I am never the one in charge, it was just an illusion!



I was also seeing that when we grow, we loose our carelessness, and we start to fear consequences, as if I've done something wrong and that I am expecting in every moment to be punished. The child is in the moment, in what he is living, doing. He doesn't think about the futur, what it may look like, what might happen, will there be consequences or not...

I was thinking about that for in the movie, a mother is offered a lollypop by someone. And at first she is surprised and say no, but then suddenly, something happens and she says YES! And I felt it was like saying YES to the child, YES to the innocence, YES to now, YES.............. just YES............ without thought, guilt, fear of anything, just YES!! And I was seeing with that how much we are always thinking about later, and not that much spontaneous... This is what becoming a child again means... Children just enjoy the moment, are in the moment, whatever it is... pain, joy, anger, tears, playfulness... they just live it!



Aren't we the beloved child of God?



With Love

Armelle

Walking with Jesus

Today is a silent and Inner Dance day at the Peace House, for the retreat... Mmmh... Deep.
We started the day by Inner Dance, which, that time had no end of session, for it was the invitation for the day... Dancing whenever we feel, and staying in that slow motion in which the Inner Dance puts us into, that state of total Presence.
So for me, it went on for the whole day... fabulous, with so many gifts and the simple miracles of Life.

Dancing to start the day, for a while, the sensation or I don't know how to call it of being someone disappeared. Totally melting in the movement of Life, being danced by the Spirit, merging into the everything, all the barriers were gone. Love was pouring. So much, that when I stopped and sit quietly, there was that overflowing gratitude and almost overwhelming Love. A piano piece of music did the rest to invite the sobbing and tears of JOY, ALIVENESS...

After a while in that state, I've been guided to go to the bank to pay the rent. I didn't want to move, just staying in that state. The Spirit then told me « you'll stay there, you'll follow me ». Ok then, I trust You. So I left. And I think I never walk so slowly for so long...

There was so much presence in every step, it was incredible, the love was pouring. It was so overwhelming that I started to be cold, and immediately the thought came in my mind that the body cannot feel, that cold is a thought in the mind, not depending on wheather conditions. It stopped.

In every step I was making, I was feeling the presence, the ground under the foot, the whole sole, amazing. Which gave the impression that only that part was existing, showing me how things are existing when you put the focus on!

On the way to go, I felt Jesus's presence so strong, as if He was by my side, and I was walking (I wrote waking at first!!!) holding His hand. One moment, it was so deep that I had the impression to be at His time, when He was in a human form, walking with Him through Jerusalem.

We've been listening to a Ken Wapnick talk the other day, in which he was talking about holding Jesus to walk through the crowd of guilt, I heard, which was the cloud of guilt, Erik told me! Funny for it had a lot of meaning for me that it was the crowd. It was what I was supposed to hear, apparently.

So we were walking through Jerusalem and I was holding His had, and we were crossing a huge crowd of people so angry. They were all pointing at me, staring at me, shouting at me. And we were walking together. One moment He asked me « do you feel it? » and I said « Yes, I am innocent... » then I paused and was feeling it more and more.... then I said « wow Jesus I feel so free, I am free... » at that moment some people in the crowd started to scratch my arms to blood and I didn't feel anything, there was no hurt, no sensation, nothing! « Jesus I don't feel it... And I love them sooo much. » at that time I was burning, there was just love pouring, it was amazing. Then those words came « they don't know... they really think they are that... » and there was just love for everything, everyone, just love manifesting in that picture; and that so huge feeling of Freedom and Innocence, like never before. And Jesus was silent, smiling the whole time, holding my hand, strengthening my strength by sharing His, by demonstrating His, by being so innocent and free and knowing the Truth about all our Brother and us.

Then I was suddenly back here, still walking so slowly on the side of the road, as if the time had stopped for a moment. It was like a glimpse of what True Freedom and True Innocence is.

I took the same way then usual but I saw other things for the first time. I saw so beautiful colored houses, flowers. I felt so much love in people's garden that I never saw before.

I stayed silence at the bank, no need to say a word, just being.

On the way back I stopped in front of the church, and saw a sign « welcome »! I felt I was supposed to stop there, but didn't feel going inside, so I went on. 5 meters farther, I saw a cross with Jesus on it. So I went back and came there. I fell on my knies and stayed there, with Him. And there again I felt so free. And He told me that was the message of the crucifixion... that we are free, that there He was free. For we are not the body, and the Spirit is free, eternally Free. It was amazing how much love was present at that moment, like a shower running on me.

I realized later that I had absolutely nothing to do or to think of when I am fully present, or fully absent should I say(!!), when there is identification with the Spirit, for every move is done for me when it supposed to happen, every word given at the perfect time.
I was also looking in front of me at the end of the road, like looking at the future, and feeling that even if I look there, what is important is the step I am making right now, and that' where all my atttention should be.

I felt how much Jesus had been guided me to go inside those last weeks, to stop looking outside thinking I would find the peace, the answers, the love... oustide of me, in a special teacher, in meeting some special people, in going to special places, in watching some special videos, just going inside and being with Him, listening to His voice more and more and learning to discern it from the other voices from the world. And at that moment, I was feeling how much I was so much more open to receive His love, how much I was really feeling that I was worthy of it, that I deserve it. Those last weeks of emphasizing on being inside and listening to Him have been so helpful. It was really the answer to my deep deep call...

He told me « it's even more that you deserve it, it is who you are, your natural state. You just forgot, and thought you were that, so I am just reminding you gently. You are more than worthy of It, you are It. »

Then I saw two kind of whole in the ground which for me seemed to be two hearts. And I was feeling how much our perception is depending on who we choose to look at things, and our interpretation on who we want to be our guide. And that the place I am looking from make the way I perceive things, from who I think I am, or form who I am, HS's.

It is really crazy all the things that we can see, realize, learn when we go slow, when we take the time, when we are so present to what is, that the rest disappear in what is...

This is really what I am going deeper and deeper with the practice of the Inner Dance. This is where it's leading me... that state of Truth. I can't really express it, it's like there is no word. I feel it's something to live... to experience... that we can't understand or grasp on, just living it!

Love Eternally
Armelle

When I am born again...

When I am born again....
I am not born to me... but to Him!
I forget everything I thought I was, anyway, I've always been wrong!
I don't have to go any special place, be with any special people for the Kingdom of Heaven is Within!
I stop thinking, being worried about things from the world, about what to eat, how to dress, how much money do I have, how this body looks like, where do I go, what do I do, what do I want... for He does it for me!
I stop thinking I am someone, for I've never been!
I stop thinking I know something for that's the way for Him to show me, to teach me, to guide me!
I give everything to everyone, for that's the way to know what I trully have, what I am!
I give Him my mind, my heart, and all I thought was me, for I want to follow Him!
I extend the gifts He gave me, for I want to know who I am!
I see the Christ in you, so I can know that I am!
I see the Light in you, for there is nothing else!
I see you as me, for there is no one else!

I disappear in the Grace, and let Grace dancing...

Love to Everyone, dear Brother!
Armelle

ps: the secret, is that He does everything through me,for me...;-)) I, is just another name for Him!