Recently, David Hoffmeister and his partner, Helena, came to visit Armelle and I here in northern California and the four of us did a 3-hour gathering in San Anselmo called "Practicing Holy Relationship". It was a joy-filled gathering held at Sleepy Hollow Presbyterian Church with about 30 to 40 people, all about how to apply the teachings of Jesus to relationships, especially "couple" type relationships.
I videotaped the entire gathering, and I was inspired to start uploading the videos (there are 7 parts) to YouTube so that they would be freely available to anyone wanting to go deeper into that topic. If you're interested in watching them, you can click here to go to Part 1:
http://www.youtube.com/user/erikarchbold?feature=mhum#p/u/7/Pq_5y_ELfkI
Enjoy!
Erik
Mar 6, 2011
Jan 28, 2011
Living Emptiness
I see pictures everywhere... I see Beauty everywhere...
I don't know anything, and that's such a great place to Be...
Something is living me, and I don't know what it is, but I know that It Is...
What is a picture?
Is Beauty in what I see? What is Beauty? Can it be beyond what those eyes see?
Where is it located? Can it be what is there in front of me? Does it have a special shape or name? Is there really a word to define it?
Or can it be without any shape, nor name? Can it be seen, or is it invisible to the body's eyes? Where is it? Does it have a location?
What are those pictures about?
What if it wasn't what it seems to be?
What if it wasn't about all those names given to all those things? What if there was an other meaning that the one we are used to?
What if the real picture, is the one that you feel in your Heart, beyond the image your eyes see?
What if our whole Life was about that... about feeling, "seeing", what is beyond...in what is right in front of us?
How can we know that it's not? Can we be certain?
What is photography about? Can it be just about images of places or people?
What if every picture is about a journey inward, in the core of your Being?
What if it was just a reflection of the deepest part of you... a reflection of what has no name, no shape, no word...?
When I take my camera and point somewhere, there is space... everywhere. It seems to be about something specific, but actually, it is everywhere. "I" disappear, not knowing how, nor when, and only remains what you can see here, what is seen through the lens of that "Infinite Love", or rather that nameless Presence. It seems to be about people or landscape, but it is far beyond that, and it is in that. It's about what has no beginning and no end, what cannot start, neither finish. It takes me totally and leads me nowhere, but still I never come back at the same place. It's a journey inward, and it's first of all mine... forgetting everything, even that I could be the one doing all that, and being taken over by what Is. It's a Moment, out of time, where only That remains... that Living Emptiness... Only That...
I'm trying to find words to describe it, but there is none... I can only be it, but not talk about it... There is a deep deep deep feeling present, on which that either there is no word to put on... for I don't know, and in the same time, I do...
It is everything, and everywhere, and it is nothing and nowhere, It just Is.
This is what all this is about... discovering that... remembering that... that deep and fabulous Mystery that we are...
That Emptiness is living me through, leaving me more full than ever... what is there yet? What is there more? What if it was All there Is?
What is the real meaning of all this?
Can it just be a photography?
... Come and enter the Mystery, your inward Mystery...
Armelle
----------------------
Erik: I felt inspired to just add a link below to Armelle's photography website, on which she originally posted what you just read.
Her photography is something that I find deeply touching, for she has a profound gift for seeing life in a way that beautifully symbolizes Heaven. Much like listening to inspirational music, reading poetry, or practicing inner-dance, I've found gazing at her still photos to be yet another way for me to connect with God.
Here is a link to her photography website where you can experience her photography for yourself. Enjoy...
http://armellearchbold.jimdo.com
I don't know anything, and that's such a great place to Be...
Something is living me, and I don't know what it is, but I know that It Is...
What is a picture?
Is Beauty in what I see? What is Beauty? Can it be beyond what those eyes see?
Where is it located? Can it be what is there in front of me? Does it have a special shape or name? Is there really a word to define it?
Or can it be without any shape, nor name? Can it be seen, or is it invisible to the body's eyes? Where is it? Does it have a location?
What are those pictures about?
What if it wasn't what it seems to be?
What if it wasn't about all those names given to all those things? What if there was an other meaning that the one we are used to?
What if the real picture, is the one that you feel in your Heart, beyond the image your eyes see?
What if our whole Life was about that... about feeling, "seeing", what is beyond...in what is right in front of us?
How can we know that it's not? Can we be certain?
What is photography about? Can it be just about images of places or people?
What if every picture is about a journey inward, in the core of your Being?
What if it was just a reflection of the deepest part of you... a reflection of what has no name, no shape, no word...?
When I take my camera and point somewhere, there is space... everywhere. It seems to be about something specific, but actually, it is everywhere. "I" disappear, not knowing how, nor when, and only remains what you can see here, what is seen through the lens of that "Infinite Love", or rather that nameless Presence. It seems to be about people or landscape, but it is far beyond that, and it is in that. It's about what has no beginning and no end, what cannot start, neither finish. It takes me totally and leads me nowhere, but still I never come back at the same place. It's a journey inward, and it's first of all mine... forgetting everything, even that I could be the one doing all that, and being taken over by what Is. It's a Moment, out of time, where only That remains... that Living Emptiness... Only That...
I'm trying to find words to describe it, but there is none... I can only be it, but not talk about it... There is a deep deep deep feeling present, on which that either there is no word to put on... for I don't know, and in the same time, I do...
It is everything, and everywhere, and it is nothing and nowhere, It just Is.
This is what all this is about... discovering that... remembering that... that deep and fabulous Mystery that we are...
That Emptiness is living me through, leaving me more full than ever... what is there yet? What is there more? What if it was All there Is?
What is the real meaning of all this?
Can it just be a photography?
... Come and enter the Mystery, your inward Mystery...
Armelle
----------------------
Erik: I felt inspired to just add a link below to Armelle's photography website, on which she originally posted what you just read.
Her photography is something that I find deeply touching, for she has a profound gift for seeing life in a way that beautifully symbolizes Heaven. Much like listening to inspirational music, reading poetry, or practicing inner-dance, I've found gazing at her still photos to be yet another way for me to connect with God.
Here is a link to her photography website where you can experience her photography for yourself. Enjoy...
http://armellearchbold.jimdo.com
Jan 26, 2011
Going on Holy Spirit autopilot
There's such a wonderful shift happening in me and I feel so blessed! A sense of total Peace which truly does "passeth all understanding"...
I'm in Canada right now with Armelle, staying at our friend Sandy Deby's house in Cowichan Bay on Vancouver Island, and I'm deeply at peace right now. It's just amazing to see how this "fairy-tale-like dream" of mine continues unfolding so effortlessly and joyfully, always reminding me that I'm TOTALLY taken care of!
We had our first "Practicing Holy Relationship" gathering last night here at Sandy's house and it was such a beautiful example of how everything can unfold without effort when we "step back and let Spirit lead the way". There were about 10 or so people at the gathering, and it felt like such a deep experience of joining in the Truth.
Armelle and I shared from our hearts many of our experiences these past 15 months (yesterday was our 15 month anniversary!) including how we were Guided to get married, many of the lessons we've had to learn since then, and the way we are using this relationship for healing. I also shared a couple of the songs that came through me last year after being guided to let go of my hypnotherapy career in order to devote my life to music and God. It was very powerful for me to watch how everything seemed to just flow through both of us so easily, and how everyone seemed so genuinely moved, touched, and inspired by all that we shared.
Before the gathering, I had been feeling some nervousness about whether I would do a "good job" of letting myself be used by the Spirit without getting in my own way. I've been getting better at noticing when I am sometimes speaking out of a hidden fear of "awkward silences", and learning to surrender to the Silence and simply let it be instead of trying to cover it over. And during the gathering, there were definitely lots of silent moments to practice with! During those silences, it's like my ego starts to project it's fear onto others and convince me that they are feeling uncomfortable with the silence. But really, I'm learning, since it's all my dream, it's just another opportunity for me to realize that there isn't anyone else "out there"; they are all simply mirroring my own unfounded fear, and giving me the opportunity to surrender into trust once again.
So the whole experience was definitely another wonderful step in deepening my trust in the Spirit, which I'm realizing is what EVERY moment is for now! It was another step in undoing the belief that gatherings are a "special circumstance" that I have to plan for or organize or facilitate. I'm learning to trust that I truly need not plan or organize ANYTHING... and that when I'm supposed to speak or do something, it will simply happen THROUGH me automatically and with a feeling of Inspiration rather than obligation. EVERYTHING, including even the words to speak and the actions to take, are just Given...
It's like being on Holy Spirit autopilot! I even noticed that, during the gathering as I was surrendering deeper and deeper, that my head was automatically being turned FOR me! As people were sharing or asking questions, I was noticing my head starting to turn automatically towards whomever was speaking without any sense of being the one doing it. This experience was allowing me to totally let go of the belief that "I need to be polite by looking at whoever is speaking" and just trust that the Spirit would turn my head and keep my eyes open for me if that was would be most Helpful. I'm also finding that I don't even have to concentrate on or understand the words that are being spoken. I can just let my mind totally relax and listen to the Silence beyond what is being said, and if a response is appropriate, the words will just automatically come out of my mouth. It can all happen without any idea of what I'm going to say in advance, and it's such a sense of ease and relaxation!
This state seems to be becoming much more consistent now, transferring to all the various types of "situations" that seem to arise. As I allow my mind to relax into the Emptiness more and more of the time, unlearning everything from the past, there's a trust arising which tells me that I never need to have a clue about anything ever again! I can just watch my life as if it were a movie, with no sense of attachment or investment, knowing that in reality, it doesn't mean anything.
There is less and less concern about money, about the future, about how this whole adventure called "Erik and Armelle's life" will unfold... there's just Peace. I know it's all been scripted by the part of my mind that Loves me unconditionally and has the sole intention of waking me up to Reality in the most loving, gentle, beautiful, and joyous way possible!
In Gratitude that is continuously expanding...
Erik
I'm in Canada right now with Armelle, staying at our friend Sandy Deby's house in Cowichan Bay on Vancouver Island, and I'm deeply at peace right now. It's just amazing to see how this "fairy-tale-like dream" of mine continues unfolding so effortlessly and joyfully, always reminding me that I'm TOTALLY taken care of!
We had our first "Practicing Holy Relationship" gathering last night here at Sandy's house and it was such a beautiful example of how everything can unfold without effort when we "step back and let Spirit lead the way". There were about 10 or so people at the gathering, and it felt like such a deep experience of joining in the Truth.
Armelle and I shared from our hearts many of our experiences these past 15 months (yesterday was our 15 month anniversary!) including how we were Guided to get married, many of the lessons we've had to learn since then, and the way we are using this relationship for healing. I also shared a couple of the songs that came through me last year after being guided to let go of my hypnotherapy career in order to devote my life to music and God. It was very powerful for me to watch how everything seemed to just flow through both of us so easily, and how everyone seemed so genuinely moved, touched, and inspired by all that we shared.
Before the gathering, I had been feeling some nervousness about whether I would do a "good job" of letting myself be used by the Spirit without getting in my own way. I've been getting better at noticing when I am sometimes speaking out of a hidden fear of "awkward silences", and learning to surrender to the Silence and simply let it be instead of trying to cover it over. And during the gathering, there were definitely lots of silent moments to practice with! During those silences, it's like my ego starts to project it's fear onto others and convince me that they are feeling uncomfortable with the silence. But really, I'm learning, since it's all my dream, it's just another opportunity for me to realize that there isn't anyone else "out there"; they are all simply mirroring my own unfounded fear, and giving me the opportunity to surrender into trust once again.
So the whole experience was definitely another wonderful step in deepening my trust in the Spirit, which I'm realizing is what EVERY moment is for now! It was another step in undoing the belief that gatherings are a "special circumstance" that I have to plan for or organize or facilitate. I'm learning to trust that I truly need not plan or organize ANYTHING... and that when I'm supposed to speak or do something, it will simply happen THROUGH me automatically and with a feeling of Inspiration rather than obligation. EVERYTHING, including even the words to speak and the actions to take, are just Given...
It's like being on Holy Spirit autopilot! I even noticed that, during the gathering as I was surrendering deeper and deeper, that my head was automatically being turned FOR me! As people were sharing or asking questions, I was noticing my head starting to turn automatically towards whomever was speaking without any sense of being the one doing it. This experience was allowing me to totally let go of the belief that "I need to be polite by looking at whoever is speaking" and just trust that the Spirit would turn my head and keep my eyes open for me if that was would be most Helpful. I'm also finding that I don't even have to concentrate on or understand the words that are being spoken. I can just let my mind totally relax and listen to the Silence beyond what is being said, and if a response is appropriate, the words will just automatically come out of my mouth. It can all happen without any idea of what I'm going to say in advance, and it's such a sense of ease and relaxation!
This state seems to be becoming much more consistent now, transferring to all the various types of "situations" that seem to arise. As I allow my mind to relax into the Emptiness more and more of the time, unlearning everything from the past, there's a trust arising which tells me that I never need to have a clue about anything ever again! I can just watch my life as if it were a movie, with no sense of attachment or investment, knowing that in reality, it doesn't mean anything.
There is less and less concern about money, about the future, about how this whole adventure called "Erik and Armelle's life" will unfold... there's just Peace. I know it's all been scripted by the part of my mind that Loves me unconditionally and has the sole intention of waking me up to Reality in the most loving, gentle, beautiful, and joyous way possible!
In Gratitude that is continuously expanding...
Erik
Jan 21, 2011
Holy Spirit pouring through Armelle
Recently, Armelle did a Paltalk session for ACIM Gather which touched me very deeply. In fact, while she was doing it and I was sitting across from her in our meditation room, it felt to me like the Holy Spirit was pouring through so strongly that there simply was no "Armelle" anymore... just pure Joy coming through. Very powerful...
If you wish to download the mp3 of this session to your computer to listen to it, just click on this the link to it:
https://sites.google.com/site/sharingloveworldtour/home/Armelle011611.mp3
Love,
Erik
If you wish to download the mp3 of this session to your computer to listen to it, just click on this the link to it:
https://sites.google.com/site/sharingloveworldtour/home/Armelle011611.mp3
Love,
Erik
Jan 14, 2011
More About Inner Dance
Recently, Armelle has been feeling a strong Call to start offering Inner Dance sessions more regularly, both in person as well as over Skype. Therefore we felt prompted to write an inspiring description for people about what Inner Dance is, the purpose of it, and what is specifically being offered. Here it is...
What is Inner Dance? Inner Dance is a deep and slow “movement meditation” in which we allow ourselves to be “danced through” by the Spirit within. It is about surrendering deeply to the Present Moment, letting go of self-judgment, and giving ourselves permission to just relax completely. With music as a gentle backdrop, we sink deeper into our physical/emotional experience and allow the body to move (or not move) in whatever way it naturally and effortlessly wants to. Various feelings or emotions may arise during the dance, and we try to allow them to arise fully and without judgment so that they may “wash through“ us. As we move deeper inward through this Inner Dance practice and release the layers of self-judgment, our experience becomes more and more that of being the Still Observer within. From that peaceful perspective, we find ourself simply watching the body movements happening without any sense of being the one making the movements happen. In other words, we undo the sense of being the “doer”, and thus learn that we are not the dancer, but the Awareness in which the dance is experienced.
What is required to practice Inner Dance? Nothing is required to practice Inner Dance except a genuine curiosity for discovering Who You Are in truth, and a willingness to open up to an experience of total non-judgment. It is about releasing everything you thought you knew about dance, and learning to surrender into your True Nature. The practice of Inner Dance can guide us through the layers of our false self into a deep inner Silence, which we are invited to explore and accept as Home.
What is an Inner Dance session like? Generally, we start the Inner Dance session with a short prayer or a guided meditation to help come in touch with our “inner body” and any feelings there. We then turn on some music, which is usually of a soft, instrumental type such as New Age or Classical music. Sinking into the music, we merely surrender and allow movement (or non-movement) to arise in whatever way feels effortless and helpful. The sessions generally last 45 minutes to an hour, followed by a brief period of deep silence and meditation in order cherish and nurture the state of Stillness that was discovered during the dance. We then end the session with an “expression session“ (group sharing circle) in which everyone is invited to express anything they feel moved to express.
How can I participate in an Inner Dance session? I offer several different ways for you to participate in or experience an Inner Dance session for yourself:
- One-on-One Inner Dance session, where the Inner Dance can be used to come in touch with any feelings that may want to arise so that they may be released. Through our shared Purpose of healing, any and all feelings or emotions are deeply welcomed into awareness, so that they can be looked at with Love and transformed into Light.
- Two Hour Inner Dance Gathering - You may host an evening gathering at your home or elsewhere, as a way of discovering Inner Dance for yourself and introducing it to others. The gathering would begin with an informal talk, and end with a group “expression session” to encourage the sharing of any thoughts or feelings that arose during the dance.
- Inner Dance Group - If you are several persons who are interested in organizing a regular (i.e. weekly) Inner Dance group in a set location, simply contact me and we can explore that possibility together as well.
- Inner Dance retreat lasting anywhere from a weekend to several days - These retreats have as their purpose a deep communion with our Essence through the dance and through a willingness to honor the Silence within. The combination of dance and Silence allows whatever inner blocks or repressed emotions to arise and be released. In the retreat, we are lovingly encouraged to recognize that difficult emotions cannot be escaped; they can only be faced directly and allowed to dissolve in the light of our awareness. No effort is required other than a willingness to experience our emotions and let them wash through our consciousness. Throughout the retreat, several talks and “expression sessions” will be also be held to encourage and accelerate the healing process.
- Skype Inner Dance Joining - Wherever you happen to be in the world, we can transcend all time/space differences and have an Inner Dance session via Skype! This is possible both for one-on-one as well as group sessions. Just call or email me if you are interested and we can set up a time to talk about the details. My Skype user name is: armellesix.
I love you!
Armelle
Armellesix@yahoo.fr
1-707-364-0957
Jan 2, 2011
Upcoming Gatherings
No new gatherings are scheduled for now. We'll post them here as well as on Facebook when we next have something scheduled.
Love,
Erik
Love,
Erik
Dec 28, 2010
Merry Christmas letter
A few days ago, the day before Christmas Eve, I was feeling a lot of conflict in relationship to my extended family and friend network - you know, all the people I've grown up with and who have known me for a long time. There had been all kinds of holiday parties going on that I hadn't felt inspired to go to, and I was feeling a bit guilty about that. My dad expressed that he was feeling sad that Armelle and I weren't sharing ourselves with everyone, and he expressed concern that we were denying them and ourselves the joy of connecting.
The greatest source of my conflict, however, was the fact that I wasn't sure if I was even feeling inspired to go to the big, traditional Christmas Eve and Christmas Day parties with the whole family! I felt a strong feeling of obligation to go and to share Armelle with everyone, but Armelle wasn't feeling very inspired to be amongst all my family, and I mostly just wanted to be with her and do whatever she wanted to do. Yet, the pressure I was putting on myself (but thinking was coming from the family) to attend the traditional dinners felt SO huge that I had a major conflict in my mind!
To resolve the conflict, the first thing I did was talk everything through with Armelle and with some other "mighty companions", and I came to the realization that the most gentle thing for me to do would be to just decide on definitely going to the Christmas Eve party, whether Armelle was going to join me or not. As it turned out, she decided to not go with me to that party, but the next day she got the prompt to go with me to the big Christmas party if I wanted to, which ended up being a wonderful time!
The other thing I did to resolve the conflict I'd been feeling though, was to write a Christmas letter to my entire network of family and friends, just to share with them exactly what's going on with me these days and how I'm doing. This was actually my dad's idea, as he had been having a difficult time knowing what to say to friends and family of ours who, at these holiday parties that I was skipping, were asking him what I was up to these days. Most of them knew that my life had gone through a radical shift in the past year, that I'd gotten gotten married and was on some sort of spiritual path, but (I assume) they were wondering, "Now that he's back in town, what is he doing, and why isn't here at this party??"
Lol... or maybe that's all just MY projection, since I think I'm so darn special... ;-)
Anyway, my dad asked me if I'd be willing to write an email to everyone explaining what I was up to, so that if they asked him, he could just whip the letter out of his pocket and have them read it! At first, I didn't like this idea, but then I felt it was really a prompt from the Spirit to get clear within myself about who I am now in relationship with my past network of family and friends. I had been feeling a bit of embarrassment about my "radical" spiritual path, and not knowing quite how to explain it to certain people when they asked, and so this would be my opportunity to clarify all of that, not just for them but for myself.
So after many hours of composing the letter on my laptop, I ended up sending an email to virtually EVERYONE I KNOW... expressing exactly what I'm up to now and what my life is all about now. And it felt so, SO GOOD!!! It was like a huge "enrollment conversation" (for those of you who know Landmark Education terminology), wherein I was completely releasing myself from who I had been with them in the past, and enrolling everyone in Who I Am NOW!
After I hit 'send' on the email, I could feel something HUGE shifting inside of me. It was the same as when I've shared private thoughts in the past with a mighty companion in order to release them from my mind. I no longer had to hide my spirituality anymore. It was like coming out of the closet! And later, when I ended up going to the Christmas parties and seeing everyone, I received lots of wonderful expressions of gratitude from them for having updated them on my life these days. I also received lots of replies to the email, all expressing gratitude for having shared myself so fully. Overall, it was one of the most healing things I've done lately!
So thank you, Holy Spirit through my dad, for prompting me to write this letter and to free myself from the past! I now stand in certainty that I can proudly proclaim my True Purpose in life to anyone and everyone who wants to know!
Here is the letter I wrote, in case you want to read it...
Dear Family & Friends,
I just wanted to write you all a Christmas letter to express how much I love you! Some of you I haven‘t seen or spoken to you in quite some time, but I wanted you to know how grateful I am for who you‘ve been to me in my life. I know I’ve been a bit of a recluse lately since Armelle and I got back to the States, and that many of you have been wondering “where’s Waldo?”, but I just wanted to reassure you that I’m doing well! I’m not as social as I once was - much more quiet and contemplative now - but I'm full of happiness, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to simply share with you a bit of what’s going on in my life these days.
As most of you know, my life has gone through quite a radical change this past year and a half. It began last April 2009 when I became inspired to take a leap of faith; to give up my hypnotherapy career, sell my house and 99% of my possessions, and devote my life fully to being a traveling minstrel for God, just going where invited and trusting in the Hands of Life to lead and support me in every way. For several months, I simply traveled where invited, wrote and played songs about my spiritual journey, and deepened in my faith that living this way was really possible and sustainable.
Then in October last year, an incredible miracle happened when Armelle, who I’d heard of through friends in our spiritual community but never met personally, called me one day to share that she felt she was receiving Divine Guidance that we were to be married in 15 days! Strangely, I felt a deep sense of peace and joy wash over me when she shared this news, even though I knew very little about her. When we got off the phone, I felt a war beginning to rage between my head and my heart. Actually it was only my head that was doing the fighting, while my heart was experiencing an Absolute Certainty that was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. I knew within a half an hour of getting off the phone that I was indeed going to marry her. We spent the next week talking on the phone for about three hours a day, sharing from our hearts all our fears about taking this leap of faith together. I then flew to Cincinatti where I had planned to be already, we met in person for the first time, and one week later we were married. It was the most Joyful day of my life up until that point, and if you want proof, you can watch it on YouTube!
Since getting married, we’ve been on a “Sharing Love World Tour” - which we chronicled on our blog (www.sharingloveworldtour.blogspot.com). We traveled to several countries around the world where we were invited, sharing our experience with people, sharing our creative gifts, and building the foundation of our first year of marriage. It’s been joyful and exciting, but also full of challenges and profound opportunities for inner growth. I never thought I’d get married, but now that I am, I feel completely different from who I was. I was always such an independent and commitment-phobic person who just wanted to be “free“ (as Armelle was, too), but now I can see how valuable it is to be totally devoted to one person. Everyday is a blessed opportunity to use our relationship as a spiritual classroom for learning trust, patience, and forgiveness.
Since being back in Petaluma (I arrived Oct 1st; Armelle arrived Nov 5th after obtaining her green card approval) we’ve mostly been spending quiet time in what we call our “sanctuary” (my dad’s upstairs Yoga/meditation room) simply studying, meditating, talking, watching inspirational movies, and volunteering on projects for our church (www.livingmiraclescenter.org). Armelle is working on translating many of their materials from English to French, and I am currently organizing a three-hour seminar in San Anselmo called “Practicing Holy Relationship” that we, along with a couple friends who are ministers of the church, will offer in February. I’m also working on my music a bit, as well as learning how to play piano, which I’m enjoying immensely!
Overall, things are wonderful and I feel such gratitude for the way Life has nurtured me all along. I look back on the incredible foundation that I was brought up in, with such a loving and supportive network of family and friends, and I cannot help but feel what a unique blessing it has been. All of you have contributed to my life in your own unique way, and I just want to thank you for being who and what you have been for me. I don’t know when exactly our paths will cross again, as I feel my life is totally in God’s Hands now and that my happiness lies in going only where He/She directs me, but I know that our true relationship is in Spirit and I will love you always.
Merry Christmas,
Erik
P.S. My new cell phone number is 707-364-0957. Please feel free to call or email me anytime if you wish to connect, ask me any questions about my life, or share something from yours.
The greatest source of my conflict, however, was the fact that I wasn't sure if I was even feeling inspired to go to the big, traditional Christmas Eve and Christmas Day parties with the whole family! I felt a strong feeling of obligation to go and to share Armelle with everyone, but Armelle wasn't feeling very inspired to be amongst all my family, and I mostly just wanted to be with her and do whatever she wanted to do. Yet, the pressure I was putting on myself (but thinking was coming from the family) to attend the traditional dinners felt SO huge that I had a major conflict in my mind!
To resolve the conflict, the first thing I did was talk everything through with Armelle and with some other "mighty companions", and I came to the realization that the most gentle thing for me to do would be to just decide on definitely going to the Christmas Eve party, whether Armelle was going to join me or not. As it turned out, she decided to not go with me to that party, but the next day she got the prompt to go with me to the big Christmas party if I wanted to, which ended up being a wonderful time!
The other thing I did to resolve the conflict I'd been feeling though, was to write a Christmas letter to my entire network of family and friends, just to share with them exactly what's going on with me these days and how I'm doing. This was actually my dad's idea, as he had been having a difficult time knowing what to say to friends and family of ours who, at these holiday parties that I was skipping, were asking him what I was up to these days. Most of them knew that my life had gone through a radical shift in the past year, that I'd gotten gotten married and was on some sort of spiritual path, but (I assume) they were wondering, "Now that he's back in town, what is he doing, and why isn't here at this party??"
Lol... or maybe that's all just MY projection, since I think I'm so darn special... ;-)
Anyway, my dad asked me if I'd be willing to write an email to everyone explaining what I was up to, so that if they asked him, he could just whip the letter out of his pocket and have them read it! At first, I didn't like this idea, but then I felt it was really a prompt from the Spirit to get clear within myself about who I am now in relationship with my past network of family and friends. I had been feeling a bit of embarrassment about my "radical" spiritual path, and not knowing quite how to explain it to certain people when they asked, and so this would be my opportunity to clarify all of that, not just for them but for myself.
So after many hours of composing the letter on my laptop, I ended up sending an email to virtually EVERYONE I KNOW... expressing exactly what I'm up to now and what my life is all about now. And it felt so, SO GOOD!!! It was like a huge "enrollment conversation" (for those of you who know Landmark Education terminology), wherein I was completely releasing myself from who I had been with them in the past, and enrolling everyone in Who I Am NOW!
After I hit 'send' on the email, I could feel something HUGE shifting inside of me. It was the same as when I've shared private thoughts in the past with a mighty companion in order to release them from my mind. I no longer had to hide my spirituality anymore. It was like coming out of the closet! And later, when I ended up going to the Christmas parties and seeing everyone, I received lots of wonderful expressions of gratitude from them for having updated them on my life these days. I also received lots of replies to the email, all expressing gratitude for having shared myself so fully. Overall, it was one of the most healing things I've done lately!
So thank you, Holy Spirit through my dad, for prompting me to write this letter and to free myself from the past! I now stand in certainty that I can proudly proclaim my True Purpose in life to anyone and everyone who wants to know!
Here is the letter I wrote, in case you want to read it...
Dear Family & Friends,
I just wanted to write you all a Christmas letter to express how much I love you! Some of you I haven‘t seen or spoken to you in quite some time, but I wanted you to know how grateful I am for who you‘ve been to me in my life. I know I’ve been a bit of a recluse lately since Armelle and I got back to the States, and that many of you have been wondering “where’s Waldo?”, but I just wanted to reassure you that I’m doing well! I’m not as social as I once was - much more quiet and contemplative now - but I'm full of happiness, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to simply share with you a bit of what’s going on in my life these days.
As most of you know, my life has gone through quite a radical change this past year and a half. It began last April 2009 when I became inspired to take a leap of faith; to give up my hypnotherapy career, sell my house and 99% of my possessions, and devote my life fully to being a traveling minstrel for God, just going where invited and trusting in the Hands of Life to lead and support me in every way. For several months, I simply traveled where invited, wrote and played songs about my spiritual journey, and deepened in my faith that living this way was really possible and sustainable.
Then in October last year, an incredible miracle happened when Armelle, who I’d heard of through friends in our spiritual community but never met personally, called me one day to share that she felt she was receiving Divine Guidance that we were to be married in 15 days! Strangely, I felt a deep sense of peace and joy wash over me when she shared this news, even though I knew very little about her. When we got off the phone, I felt a war beginning to rage between my head and my heart. Actually it was only my head that was doing the fighting, while my heart was experiencing an Absolute Certainty that was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. I knew within a half an hour of getting off the phone that I was indeed going to marry her. We spent the next week talking on the phone for about three hours a day, sharing from our hearts all our fears about taking this leap of faith together. I then flew to Cincinatti where I had planned to be already, we met in person for the first time, and one week later we were married. It was the most Joyful day of my life up until that point, and if you want proof, you can watch it on YouTube!
Since getting married, we’ve been on a “Sharing Love World Tour” - which we chronicled on our blog (www.sharingloveworldtour.blogspot.com). We traveled to several countries around the world where we were invited, sharing our experience with people, sharing our creative gifts, and building the foundation of our first year of marriage. It’s been joyful and exciting, but also full of challenges and profound opportunities for inner growth. I never thought I’d get married, but now that I am, I feel completely different from who I was. I was always such an independent and commitment-phobic person who just wanted to be “free“ (as Armelle was, too), but now I can see how valuable it is to be totally devoted to one person. Everyday is a blessed opportunity to use our relationship as a spiritual classroom for learning trust, patience, and forgiveness.
Since being back in Petaluma (I arrived Oct 1st; Armelle arrived Nov 5th after obtaining her green card approval) we’ve mostly been spending quiet time in what we call our “sanctuary” (my dad’s upstairs Yoga/meditation room) simply studying, meditating, talking, watching inspirational movies, and volunteering on projects for our church (www.livingmiraclescenter.org). Armelle is working on translating many of their materials from English to French, and I am currently organizing a three-hour seminar in San Anselmo called “Practicing Holy Relationship” that we, along with a couple friends who are ministers of the church, will offer in February. I’m also working on my music a bit, as well as learning how to play piano, which I’m enjoying immensely!
Overall, things are wonderful and I feel such gratitude for the way Life has nurtured me all along. I look back on the incredible foundation that I was brought up in, with such a loving and supportive network of family and friends, and I cannot help but feel what a unique blessing it has been. All of you have contributed to my life in your own unique way, and I just want to thank you for being who and what you have been for me. I don’t know when exactly our paths will cross again, as I feel my life is totally in God’s Hands now and that my happiness lies in going only where He/She directs me, but I know that our true relationship is in Spirit and I will love you always.
Merry Christmas,
Erik
P.S. My new cell phone number is 707-364-0957. Please feel free to call or email me anytime if you wish to connect, ask me any questions about my life, or share something from yours.
This is my dream! Why do I use it for? Specialness or holiness?
Two or three days ago, I deeply realized that I am not part of anyone else's dream, that it is all mine. There is no one outside my mind. So they have no power over me in anyway, even when it seems to be so, I am still the one giving them the power to have the power over me.... hum hum, aren't we crazy? oh no, we just forgot to laugh!No one can ask anything of me, or take anything from me...This is just impossible!
So all what's happening is really there because I want it to be there and ot be exactly the way it is... If I really would had want it any other, that's how it would have been... so no need to complain, be a victim, try to change anything, for I am exactly where I am supposed to be at the perfect time to learn the perfect lesson, right now! And even more, that's what I want. Even if I don't seem to know it, or recognize it and think I'd like things to be different...
Later I went on MMT and started the "special relationship" section! Oh my God, powerful! I did the first part, and when arrived at the assignement, that was so releasing and so great to put all my thoughts, even the hidden one, on the paper, and giving them to the Spirit, to see so clearly how the desire for specialness is still playing but in a more hidden way now, more tricky!!
I just had been offered a pair of shoes by Erik's mother, and I took it as because I am Erik's wife, feeling also that I've been feeling I wouldn't have to buy shoes, that will be given to me... but it wasn't just that, not just coming from the Spirit!
Then we went to the Monday Course Group, about the Text. And in the car, I was saying to Erik that I'd like to have my Course in english, that would be easier for me. He proposed me one, but it's another version that I had in mind. When I arrived there, I borrowed one from the library, and Sharen offered it to me! Wow, shall and you will receive I thought! So fast! And here it felt totally Spirit given.
As soon as we started the meditation, I had that realization coming to me....
It's never the others who give me the specialness! It's only my choice, regarding which purpose I want to use them for? To reinforce what?
If I want to be special, I'll see specialness, ego, attachement, roles even, maybe even feel emprisoned, will suffocate and want to leavein some cases .
If I want to follow the Spirit, to Be Who I Am, I'll see His "footprints" everywhere I go, in everything I do, in every encounter I have, I'll see Love and only Love, for there is only Love...
So I have to come to see what I am doing, what I am trully wanting, asking and taking everything I'm projecting back to me in order for it to be released. Otherwise I'll be keeping projecting it and seeing it in others, as if they were doing something to me... which is impossible! I'm only doing that to myself. And I have the power to release everyone in me!
"Make this year different by making it all the same" T-15.XI.10
yes, it's all the same, I am the one choosing to see difference, separation, even the possibility that things could be different!
With Love and Gratitude to Him to show me everything I've been hiding from my awareness and undo the blocks so that I remember Who I Am in every moment...
Armelle
So all what's happening is really there because I want it to be there and ot be exactly the way it is... If I really would had want it any other, that's how it would have been... so no need to complain, be a victim, try to change anything, for I am exactly where I am supposed to be at the perfect time to learn the perfect lesson, right now! And even more, that's what I want. Even if I don't seem to know it, or recognize it and think I'd like things to be different...
Later I went on MMT and started the "special relationship" section! Oh my God, powerful! I did the first part, and when arrived at the assignement, that was so releasing and so great to put all my thoughts, even the hidden one, on the paper, and giving them to the Spirit, to see so clearly how the desire for specialness is still playing but in a more hidden way now, more tricky!!
I just had been offered a pair of shoes by Erik's mother, and I took it as because I am Erik's wife, feeling also that I've been feeling I wouldn't have to buy shoes, that will be given to me... but it wasn't just that, not just coming from the Spirit!
Then we went to the Monday Course Group, about the Text. And in the car, I was saying to Erik that I'd like to have my Course in english, that would be easier for me. He proposed me one, but it's another version that I had in mind. When I arrived there, I borrowed one from the library, and Sharen offered it to me! Wow, shall and you will receive I thought! So fast! And here it felt totally Spirit given.
As soon as we started the meditation, I had that realization coming to me....
It's never the others who give me the specialness! It's only my choice, regarding which purpose I want to use them for? To reinforce what?
If I want to be special, I'll see specialness, ego, attachement, roles even, maybe even feel emprisoned, will suffocate and want to leavein some cases .
If I want to follow the Spirit, to Be Who I Am, I'll see His "footprints" everywhere I go, in everything I do, in every encounter I have, I'll see Love and only Love, for there is only Love...
So I have to come to see what I am doing, what I am trully wanting, asking and taking everything I'm projecting back to me in order for it to be released. Otherwise I'll be keeping projecting it and seeing it in others, as if they were doing something to me... which is impossible! I'm only doing that to myself. And I have the power to release everyone in me!
"Make this year different by making it all the same" T-15.XI.10
yes, it's all the same, I am the one choosing to see difference, separation, even the possibility that things could be different!
With Love and Gratitude to Him to show me everything I've been hiding from my awareness and undo the blocks so that I remember Who I Am in every moment...
Armelle
Dec 27, 2010
Undoing of the family concept
This year has offered me enough distance, for it to be gentle, and beautiful opportunities to look deeper at the family concept... How does it play in my life? How do I feel bound to it?
I could feel a lot of faithfulness to a story that I'm telling to myself since years, and that being fully happy felt like a betrayal to my biological family, on which I was projecting an unhappiness, judging their way of living.
What I've been learning and praciticing a lot with them, in my mind mostly, for I didn't see them a lot, was taking back all my projections on them, all what I was believeing about them, and being trully honest with my feelings, daring going to really deep deep feelings that I never allowed myself before.
It has been a slow and gentle process, a step by step...
Before leaving Belgium for the States beginning of November this year, I spent one month at my parents house, by myself. It has been such an important time, for I was ready then to be who I am and sharing, shining it with them too. I was ready to express it and being uncompromising, seeing there a wonderful opportunity to release the specialness and loving them even more, without all the blocks.
Most of my day was in my room, meditating, reading, listening to talks.
My father doesn't understand what I'm doing neither why it is my choice, and it is ok... Before I would have tried to convince him, to explain, to have his approval in order to feel ok... But this time, there was no need for that, I felt totally ok with the fact that he didn't understand, neither approved because he was having other plans for me and my life!!!!! We had several discussions and every time he was asking me if I would come back to Beligum for his funeral if he was dying. The first time, I was so embarrassed, I said yes after a while, not daring saying no, but felt that awful sensation of compromise and not being honest. One week later, the same day, almost the same time, we had another beautiful conversation and again he asked me that question, and this time I felt such an ease to tell him that I wasn't sure I'll be coming back, for I don't know where I'll be, what I'll be doing and that I cannot make a promise. Also that wherever I am I'll be with him in my heart, in spirit, and that he can be sure... that I'll pray and be with him, but maybe not come back, and that my love for him is far beyond the fact of being at this funeral...
It felt that was the only reason of his asking, knowing that I love him, and that I'm not gonna forget him because I'm leaving the country, and living fully my life, my Calling.
The last day before leaving he told me everything he had in his heart, everything he was thinking about me and my life, and how disappointed he was that it's what I was doing with it. Before I would have been in pieces, and this time, I could just hear his sadness and the difficulty to express his emotions which then turned into anger. I saw he was exposing his "private thoughts" and I found that great, for it's what I'm going for... So I took that opportunity for also exposing some of the deepest thoughts I was having and that I never shared. It felt so right to me, to trust him enough that he could handle him, and explaining him that I was sharing because for me it was a block to fully join with him.
Ten days ago he sent me en email telling he didn't understand that and that... and again I didn't feel that need to justify anything, just telling him that I know he doesn't understand, he that it's ok, for the most important thing is that we love each other even if he doesn't understand me! He then told me that the most important thing is that I am happy, and that's all what he wants for me!
I wasn't concern about having a dad, as I've been in the past, of him being present in my life, approving anything I'm doing. It was all ok for me. It's just another opportunity to stand in the Truth, and follow God, join in the Love.
With my mother, it's a bit different, or that's how it seems, for I reflect to her a lot of things that are dormant in her heart, and I can and she can feel that. Since the beginning of this path, she has a lot of questions and fears also, fear that I am in a cult. So at first I was trying to reassure her, until I understood that it was also mine...!!!! I had a feeling like this inside!! Then one day she told me that when people were asking her about that she was saying "no, she is not", and then that even if I was, she never saw her daughter so happy so... it was the most important thing!
So I've been having conversation with her about forgiveness, about God, my love for Jesus, how the world is the reflection of what is in my mind. Mostly sharing my experiences and answering to her question. It felt that the specialness was undoing already there, for she was more drawn to me for all that, for the light that I was allowing myselfit to shine, instead of hiding Who I am, because I was afraid of being rejected. I told her that my Calling for God was the priority of my life, and what I will follow first.
Already in the years before I had told her mostly, that I wouldn't do something because she has fear and that she wants to be reassured, but because I feel doing it, because it's joyful and not out of obligation (as answering emails right the way, or even phone call, or calling when I was traveling...), and this was the continuing of it, even deeper.
I was already seeing before that they were just reflecting my doubts, my fears too, and that when I was totaly sure of what I was doing, totally aligned in myself, that's also what they were reflecting to me. They are the one with whom I learnt that before being in the Course, for it was so obvious! So they were then like my barometer...
During this month, I wasn't spending not that much time with them, and a lot by myself, which was great. I told them that I was just following my heart, what I was feeling doing, and not joining out of obligation. So that every joining we had was a great moment. I was also practicing not necessarily answering every time that she was calling me for asking something, but just when I was really feeling it, eating only when I was feeling, not when they were (it's part of the family concept there to eat together every meal), etc.
My mother told me that she was seeing me as a carmelite, those are Sisters in Spain, living in a convent, out of the world, only devoted to God. Yessssss!!!!!
When I left I told them that I didn't know when we'll see each other again in person, for I'm just gonna follow where I'm guided to go.
And during my stay I told them both that my love for them was far beyond the roles we were playing together, and that for me we were much more than parents and daugther, and that I didn't want to limit ourselves to that when we are unlimited. That I love them so much more since I'm following that path than before, and that it's still growing.
I've also seen that I cannot ask them to stop playing the parents role, but once I am clear in my mind that being a daughter to them is not what I want, once I really clear all what is bound in it in my mind, then again they just reflect me that.... That doesn't mean that there is no contact anymore, just that it's not coming from guilt, from a sense of obligation, a fear of not being loved anymore, but really form divine inspiration, from just following the guidance in my heart, and then joining is ... as it is with everyone!
My mother called me for Christmas, and we had a wonderful time together, where she was expressing all her emotions and crying, and I was so welcoming it, so with her, it was so beautiful, and so intimate, to let the masks falling down, to join trully. Again she told me that reading the email that I sent to family and friends she could feel that I'm really gonna spend my life in a monastery or something like this, and she was still asking me questions about how I see the world, about the conflits, the war,etc... This was trully the Spirit working! We also talked abuot relationships, marriage, following our heart, being in service to others. And I could feel even more than ever her deep Calling for more... for extending her Love, she has such a huge heart! And that's where we joined, in the Love, that One Love that unites us, far beyond all roles, or seeming differences.... At the end, she told me "I don't understand everything in your life, but I know that there is something that resonates deep in my heart".
This is the most wonderful Gift I ever received for Christmas, it was like God telling me "go on, you're on the right track... spread the Love, spread the words, Be who you are, stay there, don't move"
After another undoing in being a daughter in law this time, here with Erik's parents, in which I've been feeling as if they were asking me to be different than what I am, to compromise, to behave in a certain way, I've been shown by Jesus that no matter in which box or role people want to put me in, it cannot affect me, it cannot change who I am, and that none of what I'm doing is about answering to those, but about following Him. And suddenly all the resistence to all of that fell away, and deep in my heart, I just felt Joy of Purpose, Joy of following Him only. So I was willing to go to all the family parties for Christmas if it was His Will and following Him in every moment. Suddenly there was no pressure of answering to anyone else's desire, suddenly I was free..... In joining with Him, I found my Freedom.
The day after, I felt strongly to not go to the family party and offering me a very quiet, prayerful, deep evening. Taking the time to go inside, and look at a lot of things that had happened the week. This is all what my time is for... Erik was now supporting me where he had been more pushing me to be a certain way before, telling me also that no one had any expectation for me to be in a certain way! It was almost as a revelation. I could see my mind wanting to react and saying it wasn't really true, and in the same time, deep down I felt a huge shift happening, telling me it was all in my mind and offering me once again to follow my heart, being uncompromising, had undone all the perceptions I had of them, of the situation... Wow!!!!!
And several minutes later, here was another reflection of that. Through what is my biological mother, I was hearing how great it was to be uncompromising, to stand in the Truth, to follow fully my Heart. I was also hearing that when you are who you are, when you allow yourself fully to express it, however it looks like in the worlds' eyes, you awaken that in others too, you touch that deep part of their Being, the Core of their Being and wihtout doing anything, help them to remember.... Isn't it what it is all for...?
I have that image, feeling in my mind since several months already, but now it has taken whole its meaning.... When you have an encounter with someone, it's like the person is asking (in a very very subtle way) "Be Who You Are, so that you'll see me for Who I Am, because I forgot, and so, I'll remember..." and that's what Marie-France was showing me...
Wherever I go, whatever I do, it's all about being that messenger of Love and Light for God, and nothing else...
So why wait one minute more...?
Lots of love...
Armelle
I could feel a lot of faithfulness to a story that I'm telling to myself since years, and that being fully happy felt like a betrayal to my biological family, on which I was projecting an unhappiness, judging their way of living.
What I've been learning and praciticing a lot with them, in my mind mostly, for I didn't see them a lot, was taking back all my projections on them, all what I was believeing about them, and being trully honest with my feelings, daring going to really deep deep feelings that I never allowed myself before.
It has been a slow and gentle process, a step by step...
Before leaving Belgium for the States beginning of November this year, I spent one month at my parents house, by myself. It has been such an important time, for I was ready then to be who I am and sharing, shining it with them too. I was ready to express it and being uncompromising, seeing there a wonderful opportunity to release the specialness and loving them even more, without all the blocks.
Most of my day was in my room, meditating, reading, listening to talks.
My father doesn't understand what I'm doing neither why it is my choice, and it is ok... Before I would have tried to convince him, to explain, to have his approval in order to feel ok... But this time, there was no need for that, I felt totally ok with the fact that he didn't understand, neither approved because he was having other plans for me and my life!!!!! We had several discussions and every time he was asking me if I would come back to Beligum for his funeral if he was dying. The first time, I was so embarrassed, I said yes after a while, not daring saying no, but felt that awful sensation of compromise and not being honest. One week later, the same day, almost the same time, we had another beautiful conversation and again he asked me that question, and this time I felt such an ease to tell him that I wasn't sure I'll be coming back, for I don't know where I'll be, what I'll be doing and that I cannot make a promise. Also that wherever I am I'll be with him in my heart, in spirit, and that he can be sure... that I'll pray and be with him, but maybe not come back, and that my love for him is far beyond the fact of being at this funeral...
It felt that was the only reason of his asking, knowing that I love him, and that I'm not gonna forget him because I'm leaving the country, and living fully my life, my Calling.
The last day before leaving he told me everything he had in his heart, everything he was thinking about me and my life, and how disappointed he was that it's what I was doing with it. Before I would have been in pieces, and this time, I could just hear his sadness and the difficulty to express his emotions which then turned into anger. I saw he was exposing his "private thoughts" and I found that great, for it's what I'm going for... So I took that opportunity for also exposing some of the deepest thoughts I was having and that I never shared. It felt so right to me, to trust him enough that he could handle him, and explaining him that I was sharing because for me it was a block to fully join with him.
Ten days ago he sent me en email telling he didn't understand that and that... and again I didn't feel that need to justify anything, just telling him that I know he doesn't understand, he that it's ok, for the most important thing is that we love each other even if he doesn't understand me! He then told me that the most important thing is that I am happy, and that's all what he wants for me!
I wasn't concern about having a dad, as I've been in the past, of him being present in my life, approving anything I'm doing. It was all ok for me. It's just another opportunity to stand in the Truth, and follow God, join in the Love.
With my mother, it's a bit different, or that's how it seems, for I reflect to her a lot of things that are dormant in her heart, and I can and she can feel that. Since the beginning of this path, she has a lot of questions and fears also, fear that I am in a cult. So at first I was trying to reassure her, until I understood that it was also mine...!!!! I had a feeling like this inside!! Then one day she told me that when people were asking her about that she was saying "no, she is not", and then that even if I was, she never saw her daughter so happy so... it was the most important thing!
So I've been having conversation with her about forgiveness, about God, my love for Jesus, how the world is the reflection of what is in my mind. Mostly sharing my experiences and answering to her question. It felt that the specialness was undoing already there, for she was more drawn to me for all that, for the light that I was allowing myselfit to shine, instead of hiding Who I am, because I was afraid of being rejected. I told her that my Calling for God was the priority of my life, and what I will follow first.
Already in the years before I had told her mostly, that I wouldn't do something because she has fear and that she wants to be reassured, but because I feel doing it, because it's joyful and not out of obligation (as answering emails right the way, or even phone call, or calling when I was traveling...), and this was the continuing of it, even deeper.
I was already seeing before that they were just reflecting my doubts, my fears too, and that when I was totaly sure of what I was doing, totally aligned in myself, that's also what they were reflecting to me. They are the one with whom I learnt that before being in the Course, for it was so obvious! So they were then like my barometer...
During this month, I wasn't spending not that much time with them, and a lot by myself, which was great. I told them that I was just following my heart, what I was feeling doing, and not joining out of obligation. So that every joining we had was a great moment. I was also practicing not necessarily answering every time that she was calling me for asking something, but just when I was really feeling it, eating only when I was feeling, not when they were (it's part of the family concept there to eat together every meal), etc.
My mother told me that she was seeing me as a carmelite, those are Sisters in Spain, living in a convent, out of the world, only devoted to God. Yessssss!!!!!
When I left I told them that I didn't know when we'll see each other again in person, for I'm just gonna follow where I'm guided to go.
And during my stay I told them both that my love for them was far beyond the roles we were playing together, and that for me we were much more than parents and daugther, and that I didn't want to limit ourselves to that when we are unlimited. That I love them so much more since I'm following that path than before, and that it's still growing.
I've also seen that I cannot ask them to stop playing the parents role, but once I am clear in my mind that being a daughter to them is not what I want, once I really clear all what is bound in it in my mind, then again they just reflect me that.... That doesn't mean that there is no contact anymore, just that it's not coming from guilt, from a sense of obligation, a fear of not being loved anymore, but really form divine inspiration, from just following the guidance in my heart, and then joining is ... as it is with everyone!
My mother called me for Christmas, and we had a wonderful time together, where she was expressing all her emotions and crying, and I was so welcoming it, so with her, it was so beautiful, and so intimate, to let the masks falling down, to join trully. Again she told me that reading the email that I sent to family and friends she could feel that I'm really gonna spend my life in a monastery or something like this, and she was still asking me questions about how I see the world, about the conflits, the war,etc... This was trully the Spirit working! We also talked abuot relationships, marriage, following our heart, being in service to others. And I could feel even more than ever her deep Calling for more... for extending her Love, she has such a huge heart! And that's where we joined, in the Love, that One Love that unites us, far beyond all roles, or seeming differences.... At the end, she told me "I don't understand everything in your life, but I know that there is something that resonates deep in my heart".
This is the most wonderful Gift I ever received for Christmas, it was like God telling me "go on, you're on the right track... spread the Love, spread the words, Be who you are, stay there, don't move"
After another undoing in being a daughter in law this time, here with Erik's parents, in which I've been feeling as if they were asking me to be different than what I am, to compromise, to behave in a certain way, I've been shown by Jesus that no matter in which box or role people want to put me in, it cannot affect me, it cannot change who I am, and that none of what I'm doing is about answering to those, but about following Him. And suddenly all the resistence to all of that fell away, and deep in my heart, I just felt Joy of Purpose, Joy of following Him only. So I was willing to go to all the family parties for Christmas if it was His Will and following Him in every moment. Suddenly there was no pressure of answering to anyone else's desire, suddenly I was free..... In joining with Him, I found my Freedom.
The day after, I felt strongly to not go to the family party and offering me a very quiet, prayerful, deep evening. Taking the time to go inside, and look at a lot of things that had happened the week. This is all what my time is for... Erik was now supporting me where he had been more pushing me to be a certain way before, telling me also that no one had any expectation for me to be in a certain way! It was almost as a revelation. I could see my mind wanting to react and saying it wasn't really true, and in the same time, deep down I felt a huge shift happening, telling me it was all in my mind and offering me once again to follow my heart, being uncompromising, had undone all the perceptions I had of them, of the situation... Wow!!!!!
And several minutes later, here was another reflection of that. Through what is my biological mother, I was hearing how great it was to be uncompromising, to stand in the Truth, to follow fully my Heart. I was also hearing that when you are who you are, when you allow yourself fully to express it, however it looks like in the worlds' eyes, you awaken that in others too, you touch that deep part of their Being, the Core of their Being and wihtout doing anything, help them to remember.... Isn't it what it is all for...?
I have that image, feeling in my mind since several months already, but now it has taken whole its meaning.... When you have an encounter with someone, it's like the person is asking (in a very very subtle way) "Be Who You Are, so that you'll see me for Who I Am, because I forgot, and so, I'll remember..." and that's what Marie-France was showing me...
Wherever I go, whatever I do, it's all about being that messenger of Love and Light for God, and nothing else...
So why wait one minute more...?
Lots of love...
Armelle
Dec 24, 2010
Upcoming Gathering
Come into the Miracle
1 ½ Day Intimate Retreat with Armelle & Erik Archbold
Dec 29-30, Petaluma, CA
To end the year in a state of deep forgiveness and clarity!
The purpose of this retreat is to deepen in our practice of true forgiveness and devotion to the Holy Spirit's practical guidance for us in our day-to-day lives. During the majority of our time together, we will use The Clarity Process*, a helpful context for group sharing utilized at David Hoffmeister's monastery, which invites open expression of private thoughts and leads to a deeper clarity and sense of freedom.
Also interspersed throughout the retreat will be some songs from Erik, an Inner Dance (slow, meditative movement) session facilitated by Armelle, and movies with spiritual themes in the evenings... all for the Purpose of helping us get in touch with our innermost feelings, and beneath those, the Truth of our Being!
Where? 307 6th Street, Petaluma (For those who do not live close by, there is the possibility of spending the night here, one or both nights. Ask us if interested.)
When? Dec 29th – 3:00 p.m. until 10:00 p.m.
Dec 30th – 10:00 a.m. until 10:00 p.m.
Suggested Donation: $90
For more information and to register, please contact Armelle via email at
armellesix@yahoo.fr or by phone at 707-364-0957.
*For more info on The Clarity Process, visit:
http://www.miracles-monastery.org/documents/clarity_process.pdf
1 ½ Day Intimate Retreat with Armelle & Erik Archbold
Dec 29-30, Petaluma, CA
To end the year in a state of deep forgiveness and clarity!
The purpose of this retreat is to deepen in our practice of true forgiveness and devotion to the Holy Spirit's practical guidance for us in our day-to-day lives. During the majority of our time together, we will use The Clarity Process*, a helpful context for group sharing utilized at David Hoffmeister's monastery, which invites open expression of private thoughts and leads to a deeper clarity and sense of freedom.
Also interspersed throughout the retreat will be some songs from Erik, an Inner Dance (slow, meditative movement) session facilitated by Armelle, and movies with spiritual themes in the evenings... all for the Purpose of helping us get in touch with our innermost feelings, and beneath those, the Truth of our Being!
Where? 307 6th Street, Petaluma (For those who do not live close by, there is the possibility of spending the night here, one or both nights. Ask us if interested.)
When? Dec 29th – 3:00 p.m. until 10:00 p.m.
Dec 30th – 10:00 a.m. until 10:00 p.m.
Suggested Donation: $90
For more information and to register, please contact Armelle via email at
armellesix@yahoo.fr or by phone at 707-364-0957.
*For more info on The Clarity Process, visit:
http://www.miracles-monastery.org/documents/clarity_process.pdf
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