Journaling with Jesus May 2nd

May 2^nd

Hey Jesus, I feel I’m going deeper and deeper into seeing the falsity of that world, and those identities. I feel more and more disorientated, and so much more easily brought back to the Truth when I still let the ego dictates its judgements. It feels as if you don’t stop talking to me, as if there is the constant voice of Truth bringing me back to where I belong! You were right, I really don’t need to do anything! It’s so great. In the same time, I feel that I never know what to ask you, like if there is no question in my mind. But I feel very strongly joining with You, it’s so helpful! I think also there could be an avoidance of it because it’s so helpful, that it feels to accelerate everything. So it’s kind where I am at today, having had deep meditation after deep meditation since I woke up this morning. It was like I was totally taken over by the Silence and couldn’t move anymore, nor even open my eyes. An experience of no control, and I am not the one in charge, it’s done through me.

(laughter)(big smile)(tinglings in the heart)(spreading all over and leading me in a deep Silence, no control, no movement)(when I opened my eyes, there is so much Joy, I could explode!). I am with you all the time, I’ve never ceased to be. You don’t have to connect with me by writing to connect with me, we have been connected since you woke up and even more;-) Don’t doubt what you do, or don’t do! Just know that it is always perfect as it is, trust what you feel and even more trust your Purpose. That’s what is leading you. Your very asking for me to be in charge of everything when you wake up, put me really in charge of everything. It’s a clear invitation of your Desire for Truth! “Ask and you shall receive”

I am closer to you than what you can even imagine. For the purpose of this relationship is that you know that I am You, that there is no difference between us, no gap, nothing that separates us in any way. I am That which You are. Don’t bother with the rest, it’s all false anyway. See it just for what it is, an illusion.

Yesterday, Erik asked me to put these writings on our blog. I wasn’t feeling it fully, but I did it. After a few minutes I started to feel really bad about it, so I deleted what I published. Again today, he told me he was really feeling it was to be on our blog, for that was truly helpful. So I’d like to explore that, for I might be afraid of being seen as still having those kind of questions, and therefore not that advanced. And I am also afraid, that some of those who might read it could perceive that it’s all bullshit and that I am metaphysical ghosting. So I’d like to know what you would like me to do about that and if you can help me to see what’s blocking clearly. Thank you!!!! Oh my God, it’s crazy how I feel full of Joy after that little experience I just had before;-) You know it’s funny but I feel that a layer has gone, I feel so intimate with You. I don’t feel looking up at You anymore, I feel you are like my best Friend, my most intimate Friend. It really feels that we are so close. I think I even want to say we are the same, that’s the feeling… I don’t feel any difference or separation anymore! Ouhhh

Oh Armelle, it’s so wonderful, I so rejoice with you. That’s exactly what I was talking about! The Purpose of joining together is to know our sameness, and it’s the same Purpose with everything and everyone. It really comes down to Simplicity! For there is only One Purpose for joining, knowing our Sameness, seeing the Christ, only One Answer to everything, without any exception, LOVE, One Purpose for the day, Peace of Mind… there is only One! How can it be more simple than this?

Do you still want me to clarify anything else? (laughter)

Yes, I do. I’ve been so afraid of asking you any question, and now I feel I could just talk to you the whole day. I could just do that all the time, asking you all the question, as futile there are, that come in my mind, so that they can be seen through and disappear!

Ok, that’s great! Let’s go then!

Yes, that would be wonderful for you to share those conversations. There is nothing personal in it. This relationship is not personal, neither the questions you ask. So it would definitely be helpful. Also for you to remember that there is no one outside you that could judge anything! All judgement comes from self-judgement. And who is the self who judges? And who does he judge? What is the bigger perspective on that? It’s false! A trap in which you are willing to fall so easily. To preserve what? A false sense of self! An identity that doesn’t exist and has never been? What for? Being who you think you are? You’ve never been that! It’s impossible. You cannot be what you are not, for it has never been God’s Will and therefore not yours, so it never happened! The only right use of judgement is “how do I feel”, so ask yourself the question regarding those writings.

I feel good, I feel very good, very very good even. I feel more and more aware of everything that is going on in my mind, so much more committed to the Truth, so full of Love and Joy is flowing everywhere… so I guess I have the answer! Thanks (feeling so in love, so full of gratitude)

You are so welcome;-)

There is something else I’d like to ask you. It’s regarding my relationship with Erik. I’d like to know how it could be of better use. How can we use it for the best, for both of us, and everyone? And I’m really talking about everything!

First know that there is no barrier. You don’t belong to each other. You are everyone and everyone is in you. So there is nothing personal either to this relationship, exactly as I just told you for this one. It’s for everyone. Remember that, “When you are healed, you are not healed alone”. So that’s the Purpose of the relationship, Healing! And in this seeming “process” you’re taking everyone with you. When you awake, not one will remain apart. When I awoke, you were with me. Explore everything that you feel to, and take nothing for granted. You never know what’s going to happen. There is only One Moment, and this moment is Now. And that’s truly the Only Thing you can know for certain. The Only thing that can be known is Reality! There is no certainty anywhere else. It’s always changing.

You are together to remind each other the Truth of Who You are, that you may never forget again. It’s the same relationship than with Me. There are no differences, nothing that keep you separate, and he is in your mind as I am. There is no one out there. There is no love story in the sense that the world thinks of it. He is the closest witness to your Desire and also the one with whom to practice What is True. When you can forgive him fully you will remember Your Identity in Christ surely. By offering him to know him, that’s what you’ll give to yourself. It’s not different than any other relationship, but you both have the same shared Purpose. So there is no special bound, but you are there for each other as a cocoon in which you feel safe to open up to the Love that You are, seeing more and more through the illusion of the ego. So he is like your “prior” holy relationship, to go deeper and deeper into what has been hidden and repressed so that it can be seen and released. Therefore don’t keep anything that you might feel could be between you. Open up fully to him, as a symbol of opening up fully to God, but with the awareness of the Purpose! Not falling asleep again. Keep your Purpose in mind as the light that will show you the way. Go in every corner of your mind to uncover everything. Don’t keep anything. For it’s not who you are, but by keeping it, you fear it in some way and therefore make it real. There is nothing to fear, for there is nothing. This world is nothing. And remember, as you see him you will see yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself.

Ok thanks. But is there something more specific for us being together? Something in the plan for us to accomplish?

No. Being Who You are, and sharing and extending it. The ways and means will be given. Just stay in Purpose.

What about sexuality? are we suppose to make love, or to use sexuality in a certain way?

As for everything, to see the false as false, to see everything that has been repressed and hidden, and in this matter there are a lot of things that you would like to keep hidden.

You mean, myself, personally?

No, I mean, everyone. It’s something in which there is a lot of shame and guilt because it is related to the body, and therefore there is a huge belief that what we are is the body. Starting there, there is already guilt. Then there is an identification with all the thoughts and fantasies, and as there are a lot of rules too, there is very often and easily a guilt coming with those thoughts which reinforce the belief of being the body, and keep it enchained and not “seeable” because of the fear of what we might find underneath all that. So as long as it is helpful in that way, just use it as you use everything, to join in Truth and let all what needs to come up, come up. If you use it for pleasure, you reinforce the belief that you are the body, and that you can have pleasure in the body, that it is valuable and that you choose that before God. There is nothing wrong with it. But it’s just foolish. It’s just another distraction, like eating can be too. So it just depends the Purpose you use it for. Joining and remembering the Truth, Holy Spirit. Or pleasure and lack, reinforcing you are a body, separate from each other and God, ego. Don’t make it another god! For bodies cannot join. It’s only if you choose to join in the mind that you can undo the fear of intimacy with your Self. For as long as you will see bodies, there will be a fear of joining and intimacy, because you see separation. Therefore you’re afraid of being attacked, and you think you need to protect yourself from the other. But given the proper vision, it can be very useful, until it’s not anymore and there will be no attraction to it either.

Thank You…I love You!

Journaling with Jesus May 1st

May 1^st

Dear Jesus, today I talked with my biological family and it didn’t feel that easy to see them in Truth, I could see that I still believe I am the daughter, mainly with my father that I see I believe is unhappy and I want to save him in some way by giving what I know is true, but it feels like preaching and he is not interested by that, and also with Jade there was some guilt of not being more present for her, that she could miss me or feeling not worthy because I am not there. So can you help me to look at that with your Light.

The belief that we come from the world, from parents is very strong. It’s the core of the ego thought system, that we’ve made ourselves, that we are the author of ourselves, that’s the authority problem, that the core of the guilt, of the belief in separation. That’s the split, the gap in cause and effect, you believe you made the world and then there’s a reversal of it and you believe the world made you, therefore you can be a victim of it, you cannot be responsible for what “happens to you”. And the forgetting keeps reigning in your kingdom, where you are the god. You’ve taken god’s place, you are all mighty and you have all power on everything around you. But that has a counterpart, which is that you need to protect all that, because you believe you’ve taken it, you are usurping this power and you believe therefore that it can be taken away from you. So you never feel safe, and you keep attacking to protect yourself and what you have, because you don’t know who you are. Believing to be your author, you forgot your True Author, and therefore you denied yourself your Reality, for denying God is denying yourself. Therefore, you made parents on which you project they made you. You are not responsible anymore. You didn’t ask, they did that to you. Therefore you owe them your life, and they are responsible for everything that happen to you, for your unhappiness, your failure, etc… so you are not, it’s because of them, because of what they didn’t give you, it’s because they failed that you fail. But all that is so untrue. You are the one choosing to forget and believe you are separate from God, and they are just part of your dream, showing you what you believe, showing you the way to remember the Truth and you give them the purpose that you want, you see what you want to see in them. They are not different than any of your brother. You just make them more special, and that’s why you feel guilty. You really believe they are real, but they are not more real than any other, they have no other purpose than any of your other brother. They didn’t make you. God created you. You don’t owe them anything, and you are responsible for everything. How you see them, you will see yourself. What you think of them, you will think of yourself. The laws are not different for them. You made them different, but I didn’t, neither the Holy Spirit. You are all the same, the Sons of God. You will see them differently as long as you want to be different, as long as you want to be special to them. You will see them missing you, as long as you want to believe in lack, and seeing them lacking. But remember, the secret is that you do that but to yourself. And you have the power, God’s power, to see it truly. You are Childs of God, and nothing differentiates one from the other. See where and how you still want to be special to them, and you’ll see where you are still bound to remain separate from the Father, where you are still choosing to be who you are not!

Yes, I can see that I still see them mainly unhappy and I want to be different from them, I don’t want to be like them, I want to be the one who succeeds, who is madly happy. That’s the image I’m trying to defend with them it feels. I believe by not being with them I am taking something away from them, I am depriving them of something valuable, of my love, light, therefore I at least have to be happy and I have to prove them that I am happy. It feels like I am betraying them.

You believe it’s personal to you. You believe it’s something that you have found and that other didn’t. You see them different, poor and you see yourself abundant. But it’s in each of you. God is in everyone.

I’m seeing degrees of happiness and seeing degrees of awakening that I measure with the degree of happiness I see in other, and I classify them that way. I don’t see brothers consistently. I still make exception. I see bodies, and levels and I judge them regarding where I see that they are in their awakening, and therefore I separate us. I, myself, forgot that I am a Son of God, so I cannot see my Brothers. I made them up to confirm my dream, and I use them to keep dreaming that I am not what I am, instead of to wake up to Reality, all together. Every time I see a story, that I believe they have a life of themselves, I see them on a time line with step to take yet, and I crucify them and therefore myself, for that’s how I see myself. I don’t overlook the errors, I judge them, and therefore I make them real. I don’t forgive, I crucify! That’s the message I’m teaching myself, that I still have steps to take, that I’m not there yet! But if the Truth is true, and that It’s Eternal, it must be true Now, without any condition! And That is Freedom!

There you are, Armelle, at the Core. The Truth is true, and is true Now, for you and everyone, for we are all in the Mind of God. There is no Reality apart from Him. There is nothing outside His Mind. What you offer to one, you offer it to all. Only Reality in Heaven exists. All else is but an illusion, made by the sleeping mind, that the ego uses to distract you to look within and seeing the Truth, that You are still in God, that You never left, that nothing has changed, because nothing has ever happened. There are no parents, partners, family, people, world! None!


With Love Always
Armelle

Journaling with Jesus April 30th

April 30^th

Dear Jesus,

Can you tell me why I seem to be so afraid of asking you questions? Why I seem almost to not have any question? I don’t know really what to ask, what to be clear about, what is unclear…

The ego doesn’t want you to ask question that could uncover its unreality. This thought of separation in your mind tries by every mean possible to keep a hang onto you, and therefore doesn’t want you to question what it is. It wants you to keep believing its real, its who you are, its your home. If you were certain of your identity you wouldn’t need to ask any question, but a part of your mind is in doubt and believes it’s separate from God. This part is listening to the voice that speaks for the ego and believes that you are what you are not. That’s all what you need to question, to see through. The ego has clouded your mind with its stories and theories to keep you from questioning the core of its foundation. It keeps you preoccupied in the world so that you wouldn’t go within. It made a lot of distractions that are keeping your mind focused on that instead of on recognizing the Truth. It’s scared of disappearing. But in Reality it has never been. You are not scared of asking questions. It is. You are not the one asking questions, it is. And the Holy Spirit uses that ability to question to meet you and remind you of your true Identity in Heaven, that You never left. Who you are doesn’t need question, but it’s clouded by all what you are not and in which you still believe. And that’s what needs to be questioned. You have to come to see its unreality, so that you can know Your Only True Reality in God, with Me, right Now.

Yesterday I came to see that there is no different problems, that I don’t have a jealousy problem, a relationship problem, an allergy problem, a rhythm problem, a fear of others problem, a pride problem…etc… but that they are all covering over the only problem there is, that I believe I am separate from God and others. Is it enough for healing to occur?

This is Healing Itself! Seeing that nothing outside you is causing you to suffer in any way, that nothing outside you exists at all, has any reality whatsoever! Everything is in the mind, and only there. It’s even not personal to you, it is just in the mind that you share with everyone! There is no specific problem. There is one problem and one solution. And it’s right Now! Separation never happened. You are still in God, dreaming of exile but having never left. Being asleep doesn’t mean you are lost. You are just asleep and need just to wake up. Healing is seeing that only that is true, that none of the images you made and you see are true, that none of the idols and gods you made are real and can have any effect on you. What can an illusion do? Nothing! It simply vanishes when its unreality is seen. It’s that simple. And you are the one having the power to see it right now. There is even no Armelle who could have a problem. The one who you think you are doesn’t exist. So, coming from there, how could it have any problem? They go away when it’s seen that they rest on nothing but a false premise, a fake sense of self that has never been at the first place!

It seems that even if I have little questions that come, the answer is always the same… it comes down to believing I am separate and to see that it is not true and has never been.

Yes! All question lead to that core belief. All concern about anything in the world, about the body, about future outcome or past memories come from that. Seeing through that belief in separation is Healing, is Forgiveness. Nothing has even happened! That’s why I tell you to take no thought for tomorrow, to have no care about what to wear, what to eat, where to go, what to do, where to stay, with whom, etc… Your Reality is in Heaven, in God. That’s the only thing you have to be vigilant for, to put your focus on, until it’s not necessary anymore, because Knowledge has been fully restored to you. “Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all things will be added unto you”. Keep your focus there.

Thank You so much!

With Love Armelle 

Journaling with Jesus, intro and April 29th

Since the beginning of this path, I've been on and off journaling with Jesus. I often felt the Call to, but as soon as I did it, it was so powerful and everything was going so fast, that I faslty became scared and stopped. Then I had resistance to start again, because of how powerful it was. Several weeks ago, I started again, but didn't talk to Jesus, bu to God or my Self, really seeing I was trying to avoid Him. But since being a little girl, I've loved Him so much and have been used to talk to him so much at that time, that I knew I was still resisting;-)))
Last week, after having been made Minister, and having lived the Miracle that followed, the Call was even stronger, and that very same day I wrote Him. And it's such a powerful experience for me...
Erik asked me twice to post it on the blog, but again I could see some resistance to that;-) So today, I journaled about that, and received as answer to share it, for it is not personal to Armelle!

So here is, my journaling of those last days with Jesus. Enjoy...
My question are in normal writing and His answers are in italic!

With Love and Devotion
Armelle

April 29^th

Dear Jesus,

Here I am as I was feeling the Call to, to ask you all the questions that are coming to my mind. First, I want to say that I feel a trembling in the body as taking this step as well as a fear. It’s several days that I feel a deep vulnerability which seems to be very helpful to be reached or even found, when all the walls of protection are down. It’s as if I am constantly washed away from everything I believe is true, and ripped away from inside. I cry so much, and it’s so full of love… Can you tell me something about this,

Armelle, it’s so beautiful to witness that, to see this shift and this opening to the Truth in You. Your burning desire for Being Who You are is making it happen, is restoring Reality to You. In this, you can see, feel that you don’t have to do anything. For the one who would like to do, who thinks it’s the doer could never reach the Truth, it disappears in the face of Truth. So this one constantly wants to do something to interfere with the natural movement of Life coming back to Its Reality. So all what’s falling away is the inteference, the untrue, the unnecessary. You are pealing away the layers that you don’t need, for Who You are is Everything, and doesn’t need anything external to be That. So the one who is vulnerable is not You. It’s again a defense, another face of the same illusion. You are totally Unvulnerable. Stay there, and let the trembling be the trembling, you are not that either. You are That which never trembles before anything, That which encompasses everything.

Thank you.

I have a question. Are you really Jesus?

(laughter – deep feeling of Love showering my Being) I couldn’t be. For Where I am, there is no personal, there is no name, there is no definite form. What I am is What You are, and that’s from this point of view that I am talking to you, to that part of You. I am talking to my Self, from the Self. So in Truth, no I am not. But for a helpful point of view, yes I am. I am the Voice that once was his, and Who is known for having accomplished, or recognizde the Truth, for having seen the Christ in every of his Brothers and known himself as the Son of God. And  that’s from this experience that I can join with you, for I know what you are going through, therefore I can help you to not fall in the trap of the illusion, for I have been there myself, once believing it was real. But I’ve seen it’s not, and that’s what I want to share with you and everyone. In Truth, I, You have never been like this. We have never been these bodies, these stories. Never. It has only been a dream that the mind believed. But it’s already over now. It’s just playing that again, but you are none of it, NONE.

So what is the purpose of my relationship with Erik?

Remembering the Truth. Seeing the Christ in him, as it is for all your relationships. This one is just the one to which you gave the purpose of joining in the Truth, in remembrance of the Father, of the One You are. It is the one you gave yourself fully to, so that you may know Who You are, and waking up to Reality. It’s your mighty companion, as I am. Except that he seems to be there on earth with you, and that I seem to be in your mind. But truly that’s where we are both, as well as the idea you have yourself and of the world. It’s just in your mind. None of it exists in a solid form, in matter. There is no matter, for there is nothing outside the mind. So, forgive all the images you see, that you may know what is beyond them.

Ok, but how am I suppose to know when something is right and when it’s not, when I am supposed to surrender to what’s happening and when I am called to stay in the certainty? Is it possible that I will be called to not go with what he says or does and staying in what I feel?

(shower of love)You don’t have to know anything! You can totally forget everything you think you know for that’s what will be in the way of following fully my Guidance. So all the ideas you have about what you are supposed to do or not do, when you are supposed to surrender or staying in the certainty, to be straight or following the flow… let all that go. It’s all false, anyway. All the ways you think to answer to anything he might do or say are false, fake. They are covering the Truth. You don’t have to answer anything nor react in any particular way. You don’t have to know anything, for there is only one way to answer, and it’s by Love. It comes down to only One Answer, which solves every perceived “problem”. So the first step is to come to that Love that You are. And from there, the way to act will be given to you. Pause first. Don’t let the mind engage in any way, before you take that pause! Learn to do that, until Love will be your only answer! 

I believe I have to understand the words, to be attentive and understand what people are saying in order to be able to answer them. So when I imagine that I don’t need to know anything, it means to me I don’t even need to know the language and I might still be saying something. And if I don’t understand, how will I know that I answered to what they say.

You have it all backwards! You think you need to answer to what they say, because you think that words are the answer. But I just told you that the Only Answer to anything is Love. So it doesn’t matter what they say. It doesn’t matter if you talk or not. Just give Love. Just Be Love. That’s all what they are really asking for, as you are. All questions, no matter what they are, are always and only a call for Love. For if there is a question, there has been a forgetting of your true identity, and only What You are can remind you What You are. And That is Love. There is no question in Heaven. Everything is Complete and in constant Communication. There is no need for anything, no doubt, nothing lacking. Everything Is. The only way for you to know that what I’m telling you is true is to try… to experience it. So from now on, just focus on Love, not on the words, only on the Presence within. Don’t listen to the words anymore but to Me, to the Spirit within, and trust the words will come effortlessly in your mouth if there is a need for it. Don’t pretend you know what your brother needs, for you don’t. And doing so would be trying to take My Place. As long as your mind is split, you cannot know anything, you can only call on Me or the Holy Spirit for the Answer.

I am with you, forever in Love.

Jesus, why do I keep being jealous?

Because you keep believing you’re separate from God. Therefore you see bodies and are in competition with all of them, for you are in competition with God that you see outside you. You want to have His Place. You believe you are the author of yourself and therefore God cannot exist. So you are in a constant war with yourself, against what you know is true, and what you try to convince yourself. You know that you cannot have created yourself. Everyone knows it, that’s why they keep searching for the beginning of time, the beginning of the creation, but they look for it in time, instead of accepting God as the Only Author, out of time. Your Reality is not in time, not on earth, but in Heaven, in God, where Only You are. There is no life outside Heaven, outside the Mind of God, where You abide. There is NO compromise possible Armelle. You MUST accept the Truth. You cannot be on both sides, you cannot serve two masters. Your Happiness lies in that. You have to accept It!

I am so sad, because I’d like so much to be further than where I am. I’d like to experience NOW being in God.

Only the thought that you are not in Him right Now is what is causing you to feel separate. And even with that thought in your mind, you are not separate from Him, you just experience yourself to be, because you make the experience of a self that is separate, that believes itself being the all mighty, but can only be lonely. The one who is sad is not you, so don’t let him deceiving you. You have to be far much more vigilant than that with your mind wandering. You allow far too much to be what you are not!! An untrained mind can accomplish nothing! Stay in the Miracle. You are in God right Now and forever. For without Him, you are not at all, you are nothing.

Come into your Function, I will perform Miracles through you!

Last Tuesday around 1pm, I received a call from Kirsten. Erik and I just left the house and were on our way for a three day trip by ourselves, which felt as an opportunity to have a cocoon to go deeper in the undoing of the specialness in our relationship.

It was five or six days that we both felt a deep shift in the relationship and were both feeling disorientated by that change but also felt it was for the better good and part of the undoing. On Sunday I really fell on my knees, totally helpless not knowing what to do and being in such an unknown "territory". On Monday, I prayed so much  Jesus to show me the way, that I couldn't do it by myself, that I wasn't seeing clearly... deep surrender. There was such a deep sadness living this shift, and in the same time a deeper quietness too. Looking at all the concepts in my mind regarding our relationship, marriage, self-concept, etc... there was more and more a feeling of emptiness and not knowing... Deep down I could admit that my True Desire wasn't really to BE Erik's wife, but to BE Who I am, to serve God, to give FULLY my life over to Him so that I may know Reality. So here I was praying silently to be shown...

Kirsten's call was His Answer! Two days earlier they had sent an email to the MMT participants for the yearly participation as a member of the Church and as a Minister if we had the Calling to be one. To which I asked some more informations. And following my email, she felt asking directly to David and Lisa if I could already be a Minister now, being a participant of the MMT program, living in Divine Providence and having fully devoted my life to God, and being involved in projects and being close to the Church. To which they answered: YES! So to my BIG surprise (I wasn't expecting anything) she was calling me to tell me the good news! I was speechless... in between bursting into laughter and crying from the depth of my heart, in Gratitude to God. There it was... the Answer to my unspoken prayer, the prayer of the Heart. Here He was.... showing me The Way, telling me "I know your true Desire is not really to be Erik's wife, so here I am, showing You the Way... Come into Your Function! Take my Ministry! You're on the right track, and I am here with You, as I've ever been!"

Three hours later, we were walking in this little town where we were spending three days. I felt before leaving the hotel the taste of coffee in my mouth, so we decided to go and have a coffee. Everything in this town seemed so different to me, as if we were 40 or 50 years back. It was so strange. Once served, we sat on table at the entrance of the coffee shop. Soon, a guy entered. He had no shirt, was covered of tatoos all over his body, and seemed like lost, as if he was looking for something. He came to us. He was drunk and had some difficulty to talk. I started to have some fear. He asked us if we had a cell phone that he could borrow. Immediately Erik answered yes. I was still with a fear of what might happen. As soon as I gave him the cell phone, I felt that I didn't want to stay in this fear. I didn't want seeing him like this. I felt it was such a great opportunity for me to wash away my beliefs about people looking like him, or about alcohol, or fear or futur, and fully being in the Moment and seeing him as Jesus. I remembered that miracle experience I had in Costa Rica last year, and started to repeat in my mind "you are me, I am you, you are perfect as you are and I love you". Very soon my mind shifted, and I was so determined to see Jesus in him, that I was seeing him, so pure and innocent. He was trying to reach his probation officer, but couldn't. And he seemed a bit worry about that. He talked, but I couldn't understand what he was saying, which felt very helpful to me, so that I was fully in the Moment, distracted by nothing. He thank us and shaked Erik's hand. Then he came to me and shaked mine. At that moment, I received a rush of Love pouring through me. I couldn't let go of his hand. I pressed it in my two hands this time, and looked at him in the eyes, telling him "everything's gonna be ok". I don't know how it came! But at that moment, it felt as if time stopped. No noise, nothing was going on! As if we were frozen. He then stepped back, thank us again, and seemed confused, and so different. I was also so deeply touched, I couldn't speak, and finally cried. What a Miracle! Three hours after having been made a Minister of God, here I was, fully used in my Function!

Since then, there is such a deep shift... I cannot express how grateful I am for this Moment!
And I deeply feel that through sharing this, it's the sharing of the Call that we all have deep down! Through that sharing, it's a reminder that right Now we can say YES!

With Love Eternally
Armelle

The Resurrection is underway!

Today, it feels like the world is being undone in my mind at a faster and faster pace.  Armelle and I have been invited by our dear friend and mentor, David Hoffmeister, to begin a journey that feels like a major next step in our Awakening.  We will fly to Cincinnati in a few weeks to join with David there briefly, then borrow his car to drive across the country towards Utah.  Along the way, we will share some gatherings wherever invited, as well as play music at a gathering David's doing in Kansas City along the way.  In Utah, we'll spend the summer at a house near the Living Miracles Monastery with some dear friends of ours, Sarah and Thomas, who are also deeply devoted to using their marriage as a means of Awakening to Truth.  Being so close to the Monastery, we will be surrounded by symbols of devotion and other "mighty companions" which will support the mind-training and ascent towards consistent Joy!

For now, we’re still here at my parents house in Petaluma, CA, and these past six months here have been so healing and helpful for us in our journey.  Being around my family has certainly flushed up so many of the “family issues” that have bound us to the ego's thought system, and Armelle and I have been “mighty companions” to each other in the undoing of specialness and “people pleasing”.  It feels like my relationship to my biological family has become more authentic and honest.  The old self-concept of Erik as "the son, brother, nephew, cousin, etc.." has been getting slowly washed away by the Spirit Who has offered me a Loving alternative in every seeming situation in which I was tempted to play an old family-related "role" out of guilt.   I’ve learned to peacefully say “no” to invitations to various family functions and parties that I was traditionally expected to attend (such as the Easter celebration at my aunt’s house today that we simply didn't feel Guided to go to), and to trust that even if it appears that certain people are disappointed on the surface, deep down there is a REJOICING in each mind when I refuse to compromise on what my Heart is telling me. (NOTE: The day after I wrote this blog post, I found a newly uploaded video of David discussing this very topic - saying "no" lovingly, especially in relationship to biological family invitations!  I've included it below for those who are interested...:-)

The move to live near the Monastery with Sarah and Thomas feels like a huge step in our spiritual Awakening. It is one step closer towards living in spiritual community, which feels symbolic of entering the Kingdom of Heaven and being fully surrounded by symbols of devotion 100% of the time.  I cannot express how good that feels!  Even though it sometimes feels a bit scary at the same time, knowing that my ego will no longer have any wiggle room, there is a over-riding sense of profound Peace.  It is a sense of Freedom and Joyfulness, and all I can do is trust that when this undoing is complete in my mind, there will be nothing but a Happy recognition that we’ve all been released together and that to give up this world was literally to give up NOTHING!

So on this Easter Day, I wish you, my brother or sister, a Joyful and gentle Awakening… a happy Resurrection of our Unified Mind to the Awareness of Christ in God!

Blessings of Love forever,
Erik

P.S.  Here is the video from David about learning to let the Holy Spirit lovingly say "no" through you:

Through the darkness to the Light

Oh my God, I don't know how to express all what I'm living... It's a moment by moment miracle, in the most simple things of daily life, in everything, in each moment...

My life is shifting so deeply, it's so wonderful, and I feel I want to share, extend the fruits of it to everyone...

Right before the conference in San Francisco, I've been in a hermitage for one week, which has been very deep and revelatory of a lot of fears, beliefs, ego patterns. The morning of the conference, I went into a deep insecurity and fear, that went on and off all along the week-end. The encounters there, the invitations to play some music with Erik for some presenters at the conference were offering me to be in Service, in my Function, it was so fabulous. And also coming in touch with the resistences that I never shared before as I did this week-end, which was fabulous to expose.

Came then a huge phase of very deeply rooted fears, jealousy, rage, anger and murderous thoughts. It felt as if I was at the core of the split mind, watching, feeling the depth and the heaviness of the darkness playing on and on in my mind. It felt as if I didn't stop falling. Every day a bit more. Exposing the shame to Erik, the fears, allowing all the hidden private thoughts that I was keeping for myself to come up and exposing them, speaking up all what I've been keeping since our marriage by fear of being rejected. We spent hours sitting side by side, sharing all our private thoughts and judgements on each others, all what was keeping us from joining in a deeper way, holding the Presence for the other, receiving everything in the Love. Living those two last weeks in a deep intimacy, spending a lot of hours just laying down in the arms of each others, without a word, just sinking into the Love. As my last song says it "No need for more".

Falling so much, I couldn't keep the game of "doing it myself" going on. I had to lay down the mask of being strong, independant, proud, I know what's best for me, as well as the leader in me... I had to ask Erik for help, to be Present, and start to trust him in a deeper way exposing all the fears of doing so again and again. I had to stop blaming anyone I was still blaming even a little for what I was experiencing or had been, stop resisting to healing too.

I've asked for the undoing of the specialness, for taking this journey to the end... and here, everything was given to me to go deeper.. Fear of 'losing' him, fear of him leaving, of him being with someone else, humiliation... all those self concepts of Armelle being the first, the most popular, such a beautiful girl... trembling, undoing.
All that made me face a deeper fear, fear of becoming crazy, of not being able to take that and ending in a mental hospital as my grand-mother and all the darkness in my mind taking the place of the light and that I become schizophrenic as her. Wow, a revelation. As all that was faced, I was seeing myself in that mental hospital, as a little girl, feeling everything I was seeing in her at that time. Suddenly the barrier between her and I disappear and I was the one in the mental hospital, experiencing the fear of being alone, of staying there with those people, the shame, the longing for being loved, heard, understood, seen, the feeling of abandonment every time that we the my grand-father (her husband) was leaving to go back home and that she was begging him to take her home... all that was me, not her.. her felt totally sane, and healed even at the end. At that moment, a shift happened where I could see all the other people onto which I was projecting blame or jealousy merging in me too, there was no barrier anymore, no separation. They were all symbols for me to see what is in my mind, what is blocking the total awareness of the Truth of who I am.
I saw all my mighty companions on which at some point I've been projecting different kinds of emotions or blocks in the light. I felt such a release.

Later on that day, I was in touch with the deep fear of God, with all the anger, with what I was still believing unconsciously about God, how he is an angry god, rageful, who had been punishing me a lot along my life and who just wants to kill me and that's why I cannot stay quiet too long, or go too deeply into the quietness, because he wants me dead! I was seeing him as a very dark monster. I had a lot of evidences in my life of all that for sure, of how he has been punishing me again and again, how he didn't love me otherwise all what I've been living wouldn't have happened, etc... I had no idea I was thinking that about God. All what I knew is that I had had moment of deep resistences to the Course, to forgiveness too...
It was so fabulous to see all that.

That evening, Erik and I have been guided to watch "the last exorcism". It felt so joyful to me. After having gone through so much darkness in my mind, it felt light to watch an horror movie;-) Also I felt there was a gift for me in this watching, a release, the end of the process of the day! And so was it! This movie allowed me a deeper awareness of the split and the watching of those very dark murderous thoughts in my mind, and the strong feeling associated with it. I was watching all that after the movie, and allowed everything to come up. It was so intense! So intense that it forced me to totally surrender and ask for help to Jesus, it was the "stop resisting". I became so scared of those thoughts that the only way out of that was to stop resisting the healing process, stop resisting life and what is, as it is, stop blaming, taking full responsibility where I wasn't doing it fully yet and opening to a even deeper trust, where it was still vacillating. I asked Jesus to walk through that dark murderous cloud with me. At some point, he told me "I just want you to focus on my love... feel my love coming into you, feel that and only that" And so I did, and it felt that He was carrying me the whole process. I had nothing to do but feeling His love and letting me be carried until I saw the light and the darkness faded away. It was such an incredible sensation of lightness.

I also went through the deep shame. Which started by sexual shame, shame around seduction, about the body, about certain parts of the body, shame about the way it had been used in the past, and ended in the shame coming from that sense of lack and then the shame of being human!

I've never been feeling so much than those two last weeks... and falling in a well without any bottom, a constant free fall, which took away so much... pride, arrogance, resistences, preferences, desires...

I came to see how much I've been resisting to fully being with Erik, how much I've been scared, how much I wanted to be somewhere else, with someone else even sometimes... but it has been so perfect! That deep intimacy that we experience is so wonderful, all what I wanted, that intimacy opens to being so intimate with God, with my Self without fearing as before.

I've been so afraid of my mighty companions that I didn't want to join with them and it has been such a gift, for the only thing I needed to do was stopping resisting to what has been given to me, in a deeper way that I could imagine and letting me fall... in the arms of Erik, in the arms of God. Becoming so true with myself, that I felt so vulnerable, without any defenses... and so, so available to receive Love, God's Love.

Feeling like a little girl who doesn't know anything, who has to ask for any decision, who has no clue of what's best and no desire for leading anything.
"Let yourself be cared for..." the Spirit told me... "allow it... be just a little girl, you don't need to know" wow, such a shift. It has been so scary for me, and here I am... It feels there's only one way to go.... following Erik... one thing to do... singing! Single Purpose, One and only... Washing away all the other desires!

Also Erik and I have been feeling the guidance that a road trip is coming in for us... we don't know when yet, neither how that will unfold. We just have the sense that it will be in California and Texas for now... We don't have a car, but it feels that we don't have to know yet, all will be given at the perfect time in order for us to do our Father's work, to spread our Father's words, to share our Father's Love... And that feels really exciting. We've also been feeling that our path leads us to offer holy relationships gatherings and workshops, as well as focusing on the music for now, and that feels sooooooooooo good!!

This journey is so miraculous, so incredible... every shift in mind seems like a miracle!

Yesterday, I joined with Helena. I wanted to share with her some private thoughts and a grievance I was still holding secretly against her, which has come up very strongly those after the conference and pushed me to go deeper in my mind. Having seen the Truth, I felt joining with her as a symbol of choosing Love instead of fear, not wanting to be afraid neither ashamed about whatever was going on in my mind. The release came when all the barriers in my mind collapsed after watching "the last exorcism". The day after, I picked myself having some fear yet, so I looked and saw I didn't want to let go of the grief for it would mean that I had been wrong since Mallorca 2009, that I could have chosen differently back then and that I decided to delay because of fear, pride and resistences. So I decided I had delayed enough, and that it was time to let go of it.... I wrote all my thoughts, and gave them over, so certain in myself. Not even 5 minutes later, Helena had sent me an email, extending her love and joy and gratitude to walk with me on this path! It felt to me like another miracle... definitely showing me my shift in mind!
Yesterday, the call was filled with Joy, Love and laughter too... another reflection of my choice for God and Holy Relationship.
At the end of the call she shared that David and her talked about the possibility for Erik and I to go and live at David's Peace House in Cincinatti, and benefiting from the car and the central situation to extend and share the gifts of the Spirit. wow, it felt so good.
Nothing has been decided, and we'll see how that unfold, but it certainly feels more and more in purpose for us. After sharing my private thoughts about my preferences, I start to feel the Joy of living in such a devoted place and having a place to offer whoever feels joining with us to come and stay with us for a while.

Also yesterday night, Erik and I had such a beautiful and deep discussion about our Purpose together which feels clearer and clearer, as we let go of the blocks. It is really clear that we are used as a symbol of Holy Relationship and that we will be sharing in gathering, workshops or retreat about that topic. Also we came to the point that we are both really clear that we are meant to sing together all our songs, and going on undoing the desire for independance as well as the feeling of superiority and Erik's old identity as a musician and entertaining everyone, which doesn't feel that good for him anymore. And this is so full of Joy for both of us. We had several moments last week where the singing felt merging into one voice, as we were so much connected.

We sang together later and came into that deep communion, where each of us is expressing his Heart, the way it feels the truest, and it felt like another moment of ectasy for me, and the Bliss poured through, drugged by Life, Love.

This night, I had a profound experience, revealing more and more that Oneness, the lifting of the veils... It was in the middle of the night and I was sleeping, but I felt so awake.... it wasn't like if I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep and was thinking, I was sleeping as still sooooo awake. It wasn't like Armelle was awake, but I was awake, what I am in Truth was awake to Its Reality, and everything was collapsing, all the barriers and separations were vanishing, and there was only light, no separation, everyone was me, nothing was apart from anything. It was as if there was nothing anymore, and in the same time everything. No image, but a deep sense of fullness.
When I woke up in the morning, I woke up filled by that Bliss, full of energy and inspiration.

 With Love

Armelle

Practicing Holy Relationship videos

Recently, David Hoffmeister and his partner, Helena, came to visit Armelle and I here in northern California and the four of us did a 3-hour gathering in San Anselmo called "Practicing Holy Relationship".  It was a joy-filled gathering held at Sleepy Hollow Presbyterian Church with about 30 to 40 people, all about how to apply the teachings of Jesus to relationships, especially "couple" type relationships.

I videotaped the entire gathering, and I was inspired to start uploading the videos (there are 7 parts) to YouTube so that they would be freely available to anyone wanting to go deeper into that topic.  If you're interested in watching them, you can click here to go to Part 1:

http://www.youtube.com/user/erikarchbold?feature=mhum#p/u/7/Pq_5y_ELfkI

Enjoy!
Erik

Living Emptiness

I see pictures everywhere... I see Beauty everywhere...
I don't know anything, and that's such a great place to Be...
Something is living me, and I don't know what it is, but I know that It Is...
What is a picture?
Is Beauty in what I see? What is Beauty? Can it be beyond what those eyes see?
Where is it located? Can it be what is there in front of me? Does it have a special shape or name? Is there really a word to define it?
Or can it be without any shape, nor name? Can it be seen, or is it invisible to the body's eyes? Where is it? Does it have a location?
What are those pictures about?
What if it wasn't what it seems to be?
What if it wasn't about all those names given to all those things? What if there was an other meaning that the one we are used to?
What if the real picture, is the one that you feel in your Heart, beyond the image your eyes see?
What if our whole Life was about that... about feeling, "seeing", what is beyond...in what is right in front of us?
How can we know that it's not? Can we be certain?
What is photography about? Can it be just about images of places or people?
What if every picture is about a journey inward, in the core of your Being?
What if it was just a reflection of the deepest part of you... a reflection of what has no name, no shape, no word...?

When I take my camera and point somewhere, there is space... everywhere. It seems to be about something specific, but actually, it is everywhere. "I" disappear, not knowing how, nor when, and only remains what you can see here, what is seen through the lens of that "Infinite Love", or rather that nameless Presence. It seems to be about people or landscape, but it is far beyond that, and it is in that. It's about what has no beginning and no end, what cannot start, neither finish. It takes me totally and leads me nowhere, but still I never come back at the same place. It's a journey inward, and it's first of all mine... forgetting everything, even that I could be the one doing all that, and being taken over by what Is. It's a Moment, out of time, where only That remains... that Living Emptiness... Only That...

I'm trying to find words to describe it, but there is none... I can only be it, but not talk about it... There is a deep deep deep feeling present, on which that either there is no word to put on... for I don't know, and in the same time, I do...

It is everything, and everywhere, and it is nothing and nowhere, It just Is.

This is what all this is about... discovering that... remembering that... that deep and fabulous Mystery that we are...

That Emptiness is living me through, leaving me more full than ever... what is there yet? What is there more? What if it was All there Is?

What is the real meaning of all this?
Can it just be a photography?


... Come and enter the Mystery, your inward Mystery...

Armelle
----------------------

Erik: I felt inspired to just add a link below to Armelle's photography website, on which she originally posted what you just read.

Her photography is something that I find deeply touching, for she has a profound gift for seeing life in a way that beautifully symbolizes Heaven. Much like listening to inspirational music, reading poetry, or practicing inner-dance, I've found gazing at her still photos to be yet another way for me to connect with God.

Here is a link to her photography website where you can experience her photography for yourself. Enjoy...

http://armellearchbold.jimdo.com

Going on Holy Spirit autopilot

There's such a wonderful shift happening in me and I feel so blessed! A sense of total Peace which truly does "passeth all understanding"...

I'm in Canada right now with Armelle, staying at our friend Sandy Deby's house in Cowichan Bay on Vancouver Island, and I'm deeply at peace right now. It's just amazing to see how this "fairy-tale-like dream" of mine continues unfolding so effortlessly and joyfully, always reminding me that I'm TOTALLY taken care of!

We had our first "Practicing Holy Relationship" gathering last night here at Sandy's house and it was such a beautiful example of how everything can unfold without effort when we "step back and let Spirit lead the way". There were about 10 or so people at the gathering, and it felt like such a deep experience of joining in the Truth.

Armelle and I shared from our hearts many of our experiences these past 15 months (yesterday was our 15 month anniversary!) including how we were Guided to get married, many of the lessons we've had to learn since then, and the way we are using this relationship for healing. I also shared a couple of the songs that came through me last year after being guided to let go of my hypnotherapy career in order to devote my life to music and God. It was very powerful for me to watch how everything seemed to just flow through both of us so easily, and how everyone seemed so genuinely moved, touched, and inspired by all that we shared.

Before the gathering, I had been feeling some nervousness about whether I would do a "good job" of letting myself be used by the Spirit without getting in my own way. I've been getting better at noticing when I am sometimes speaking out of a hidden fear of "awkward silences", and learning to surrender to the Silence and simply let it be instead of trying to cover it over. And during the gathering, there were definitely lots of silent moments to practice with! During those silences, it's like my ego starts to project it's fear onto others and convince me that they are feeling uncomfortable with the silence. But really, I'm learning, since it's all my dream, it's just another opportunity for me to realize that there isn't anyone else "out there"; they are all simply mirroring my own unfounded fear, and giving me the opportunity to surrender into trust once again.

So the whole experience was definitely another wonderful step in deepening my trust in the Spirit, which I'm realizing is what EVERY moment is for now! It was another step in undoing the belief that gatherings are a "special circumstance" that I have to plan for or organize or facilitate. I'm learning to trust that I truly need not plan or organize ANYTHING... and that when I'm supposed to speak or do something, it will simply happen THROUGH me automatically and with a feeling of Inspiration rather than obligation. EVERYTHING, including even the words to speak and the actions to take, are just Given...

It's like being on Holy Spirit autopilot! I even noticed that, during the gathering as I was surrendering deeper and deeper, that my head was automatically being turned FOR me! As people were sharing or asking questions, I was noticing my head starting to turn automatically towards whomever was speaking without any sense of being the one doing it. This experience was allowing me to totally let go of the belief that "I need to be polite by looking at whoever is speaking" and just trust that the Spirit would turn my head and keep my eyes open for me if that was would be most Helpful. I'm also finding that I don't even have to concentrate on or understand the words that are being spoken. I can just let my mind totally relax and listen to the Silence beyond what is being said, and if a response is appropriate, the words will just automatically come out of my mouth. It can all happen without any idea of what I'm going to say in advance, and it's such a sense of ease and relaxation!

This state seems to be becoming much more consistent now, transferring to all the various types of "situations" that seem to arise. As I allow my mind to relax into the Emptiness more and more of the time, unlearning everything from the past, there's a trust arising which tells me that I never need to have a clue about anything ever again! I can just watch my life as if it were a movie, with no sense of attachment or investment, knowing that in reality, it doesn't mean anything.

There is less and less concern about money, about the future, about how this whole adventure called "Erik and Armelle's life" will unfold... there's just Peace. I know it's all been scripted by the part of my mind that Loves me unconditionally and has the sole intention of waking me up to Reality in the most loving, gentle, beautiful, and joyous way possible!

In Gratitude that is continuously expanding...
Erik