Armelle: We gave our first workshop!!! In Belgium, just to start the year...
The workshop was so incredible, there was so much love. I was so touched and so grateful of meeting all those people, I even cried a bit (so much emotion).
And for me a huge healing w-e! Erik had the guidance on Friday that he would lead the week-end and so talk, and that I will follow, and so just translate (just for you to feel how I felt it at the beginning;-))). It was very difficult for me! Indeed, I was used to be so independant, so much guiding my life, by myself, needing anything or anybody, so... following, what a job for me!!!
I saw fisrt that I was releaved, but the ego jumped directly, and took the lead;-)) I let him doing it, actually! And so I perceived Erik was trying to control, he wasn't trusting me at all because I live a lot of emotions and that he absolutely wants to see me as weak, and so the anger started to come up. then it went away.
the morning of the first day, I started to be angry again, without really expressing it in that way but searching for anything he did as an excuse to say something to him, who could so be the guilty one;-)))
we talked just before starting the day and it was much better, I felt at peace again, but not completely to be true... we were 13 the first day!!! very symbolic;-)) and everybody was so happy.
Our friend, Keith, coming from Michigan, who was in Holland since he had left Mallorca too, joined us here. it was so great to welcome him too.
the evening everything that Erik told me, I took it as an attack and as he was trying to control me and using his guidance as a mean to not say what he was really feeling. that day, it was really difficult for me. I told it at the dinner that following was something really huge for me, and that I was going through a lot of opposed emotions. It was ok, and 5 minutes later I could be so angry! So I was just going to those kind of emotional waves... knowing everything was given to me for my healing... but still!!
I finally went alone in my room and start talking to Jesus... ans his answer was so great and so healing. everything became so clear, and I started to let go... I felt so much love
the Sunday morning, Erik shared all his fear with me, about the gathering, and about me too, the fear of being rejected by me because he expresses his guidance, and the fear that because all my emotions, we won't be connected and that the gathering would be a total failure!!!
It made me so much angry! I didn't talk to him. As if his sharing was making the ego so happy!!!!
So before starting the gathering, I read my communication with Jesus again...
Erik started the day by sharing all he was going through with everybody, and it talked so much... and then I did the same, expressing all what I understood of my behavior too.. and Erik told he exactly had the same issue;-)
As I was sharing I felt the space in my heart becoming bigger and bigger, and soon I didn't feel any of those emotions, but only Love, very deep Love and the day became wonderful. I was so touched, with often tears of gratitude in my eyes, and seeing everyone as the perfect Christ...
And the evening, we both received a massage...(mmmh) !!!
I can tell how much the Spirit is taking care of us!!!!
And finally we stayed some days more in that so beautiful castle, all together with Keith and Christiane too, who organized all those perfect days!!!!
We don't know anything about tomorrow, and I really learn to live only in the Present Moment....
The ego is coming back every time that he can, and very viciously for me, it almost seems as if I express it for both of us;-)) but it lasts less and less! And today, I lived a day in the Now, so powerful, and so healing too!!
We are here, in that so great place, where we meet and met so great people, so much in the heart... a learning of every moment, with more and more openeness to not knowing anything, and more humility... that feels really good!! It seems as if Belgium has a lot of healing for us, or certainly for me!! and I am sure it's not the end yet....
With Love
Armelle
