Wow... lots of posts today, from both of us! I don't know what it is - it's like an explosion from within. There's just like this irresistible urge to share with the world! Mostly I feel like if I share it with the world through this blog, that I will be less likely to forget it. That's how we strengthen ideas and learn them ourselves... by sharing them with our brothers and sisters as often as possible until we've learned them perfectly.
Which brings me to the latest profound insight I just had. It is about Who my brother really is. He is not the body or the person I seem to interact with. In fact, the body and the person that I seem to interact with, in truth, have nothing to do with Who my brother really is.
Who my brother really is... is the Mind that is dreaming it is the person I seem to interact with. As I perceive it now, my brother's Mind is like an infinite sphere, whose center is where his body is. And he, as this Infinite Mind, is dreaming that it is this body, having forgotten that it is an Infinite Mind. And the only way I can remember that I, too, am an Infinite Mind, is to remember to always regard him as an Infinite Mind too.
This means remembering that the person I interact with is just the dream character he is believing himself to be. It is an image within his mind. Just like if I were to ask him to imagine a blue tree, and he made a mental picture of a blue tree. The blue tree has just as much reality as the person my brother thinks he is, which is to say that it has NO reality. But it seems to.
One of the tricks of the ego is that it makes some images seem more real than others. It makes the body seem VERY real, and yet makes the blue tree seem only slightly real. You can stop thinking of the blue tree and it disappears. But it seems almost impossible to stop thinking about the body. And yet, it's only a matter of time, which doesn't exist either. The body lasts in awareness seemingly longer than the blue tree, but in Reality, they both existed in Awareness for only one insane instant before disappearing. We cling to the past by keeping that one insane instant in our mind and stretching it over eons, re-playing it and re-playing it over in all its seemingly endless variety of forms... but it's still only a instaneous dream.
And my brother is the Dreaming Mind, as am I. We are Awake now, but choosing to pretend we're still asleep. After all, why end the party so quickly?
Love,
Erik
Feb 8, 2010
Undoing the special relationship with the parents
My parents came back from their ski trip one hour before. They were happy to see us, and were talking when I told I had to leave for I had a paltalk abou the Course starting soon. Another step for me, in the uncompromise.
The day after, I really felt strange with my parents. I really didn't know how being with them anymore, for I didn't know how to join anymore. So I just listened moment by moment what I was guided to do. I didn't talk a lot with them. I finished the blog in French that I had been guided to create, and also listened to several of David's videos on you tube. Later I went to the store and felt something new, like if I was one with everybody there, and feeling everybody, and I felt so much love, just love.
The Monday morning we were leaving to go to Ulrike's, at the Peace House in Belgium. I started to cry when I got up without any reason. And when I left, I felt something was "working" inside me but I didn't know what exactly.
We met a friend in Brussels who was so inspired by us, our story, so happy and so excited to spend that moment with us. It was so great, a so beautiful reflection of us, of our joy, and love in the sharing...
When we arrived at the Peace House, I felt I was guided to stop people please and following the guidance, and that I was here to help cut the attachement with my parents, mother more yet.
The day after, I was still feeling that sadness and I shared it with Caroline and Sylvain on paltalk. She told me that when she lives some sadness without knowing where it comes from, the HS has shown her it is often because of the attachment. ok... I was starting to see now... It was the change from the special to the holy relaitonship with my parents, and there was a part who wanted to resist!
she started to share her experience in the attachment of the romance in her new guided relationship, and then she talk also about the attachment with her parents, and the HS started pouring through me and I could see evything so clearly. At the end, I felt completely released... letting all go, so joyfully, so easily... as if he was showing me the insignificant of keeping this attachment absolutely, as I was keeping them as me as prisoner of it...
I felt so free, so light, so joyful...
When we received the guidance to go to San Francisco I thought we would go back to my parents and spend the last days with them. Ulrike came that day and told qhe was feeling we would go there and go back here before we'd leave. Erik told the same too, and so I felt it was the guidance and certainly a step more in the undoing in the specialness with them. So I surrendered to that, and even felt the joy, for we feel so blessed to be here, in this so quiet place, having the opportunity to go deeper in our path...
So I proposed my mother having a moment during the week-end to meet my grand-parents and my uncle who wanted to meet Erik. So we could see everybody in the same time. And we would spend the night there and then come back here.
I felt so free... Before being there, I felt how much had been released with them, and there was just joy to spend that moment with them. And those moments were so wonderful.
We joined far beyond the appearance, where we are all one, in the Love. They were a so beautiful relfection of my mind. there was joy, laughter, love, sharing, it was really great. I was living that moment where I felt being at the cinema watching a movie that I was the scenarist. There were all those characters who had played a lot for me, but this time the scenario had completely changed, or the lens through which I was watching wasn't the same anymore, and the scenarist had certainly changed something in him too!!
I am so happy to leave Belgium with such peace and so much love. I felt I've made a very huge step in the detachment in my relationship here. For with my friends it was the same, I didn't feel runninf to meet them or trying to make things happening. Everything was perfect as it was, and I don't have any expectation of how it has or had to be...
I've chosen God before everything else, and after having seen Avatar, this was still reinforced! There is nothing in this wolrd that I want ...
I am so happy... There is no other way than this one that I would like to walk on..
deep gratitude for Everything, and every One
Lots of Love
Armelle
The day after, I really felt strange with my parents. I really didn't know how being with them anymore, for I didn't know how to join anymore. So I just listened moment by moment what I was guided to do. I didn't talk a lot with them. I finished the blog in French that I had been guided to create, and also listened to several of David's videos on you tube. Later I went to the store and felt something new, like if I was one with everybody there, and feeling everybody, and I felt so much love, just love.
The Monday morning we were leaving to go to Ulrike's, at the Peace House in Belgium. I started to cry when I got up without any reason. And when I left, I felt something was "working" inside me but I didn't know what exactly.
We met a friend in Brussels who was so inspired by us, our story, so happy and so excited to spend that moment with us. It was so great, a so beautiful reflection of us, of our joy, and love in the sharing...
When we arrived at the Peace House, I felt I was guided to stop people please and following the guidance, and that I was here to help cut the attachement with my parents, mother more yet.
The day after, I was still feeling that sadness and I shared it with Caroline and Sylvain on paltalk. She told me that when she lives some sadness without knowing where it comes from, the HS has shown her it is often because of the attachment. ok... I was starting to see now... It was the change from the special to the holy relaitonship with my parents, and there was a part who wanted to resist!
she started to share her experience in the attachment of the romance in her new guided relationship, and then she talk also about the attachment with her parents, and the HS started pouring through me and I could see evything so clearly. At the end, I felt completely released... letting all go, so joyfully, so easily... as if he was showing me the insignificant of keeping this attachment absolutely, as I was keeping them as me as prisoner of it...
I felt so free, so light, so joyful...
When we received the guidance to go to San Francisco I thought we would go back to my parents and spend the last days with them. Ulrike came that day and told qhe was feeling we would go there and go back here before we'd leave. Erik told the same too, and so I felt it was the guidance and certainly a step more in the undoing in the specialness with them. So I surrendered to that, and even felt the joy, for we feel so blessed to be here, in this so quiet place, having the opportunity to go deeper in our path...
So I proposed my mother having a moment during the week-end to meet my grand-parents and my uncle who wanted to meet Erik. So we could see everybody in the same time. And we would spend the night there and then come back here.
I felt so free... Before being there, I felt how much had been released with them, and there was just joy to spend that moment with them. And those moments were so wonderful.
We joined far beyond the appearance, where we are all one, in the Love. They were a so beautiful relfection of my mind. there was joy, laughter, love, sharing, it was really great. I was living that moment where I felt being at the cinema watching a movie that I was the scenarist. There were all those characters who had played a lot for me, but this time the scenario had completely changed, or the lens through which I was watching wasn't the same anymore, and the scenarist had certainly changed something in him too!!
I am so happy to leave Belgium with such peace and so much love. I felt I've made a very huge step in the detachment in my relationship here. For with my friends it was the same, I didn't feel runninf to meet them or trying to make things happening. Everything was perfect as it was, and I don't have any expectation of how it has or had to be...
I've chosen God before everything else, and after having seen Avatar, this was still reinforced! There is nothing in this wolrd that I want ...
I am so happy... There is no other way than this one that I would like to walk on..
deep gratitude for Everything, and every One
Lots of Love
Armelle
Following the guidance in every moment and finding Peace and Love
Saturday morning, after those huge healing and shifts, my heart was burning even before I got up. I received the guidance to ask Laurent, Caroline and Sylvain to give some paltalk sessions with the Course on Saturday and Sunday evening. waw, it was big, for me. I talked with Erik about that, who encouraged me to follow and daring doing it. So I shared it with them.
Not even 5 minutes later Caroline had answere with so much joy feeling the power of that guidance! And so she gave me the key of the room... I was feeling so much Joy, a so simple Joy; not about what I would do, something deeper than that, that I felt being answering the deep call of my heart by following the guidance and trusting. Then I realised it was Saturday today!!! And I heard the HS laughing in the same time, for I would start this today!!! So I wrote a message on the HS yahoo group to tell it. Later, Laurent answered me telling he had felt the guidance from the Spirit some days ago for giving some paltalk the week-end too!! So it was a blessing, and he was welcoming my guidance too, as Sylvain did too. Great!
The day before, the HS guided me to be totally uncompromising since now, what is the key of the freedom!
So I was practicing it. As we had been guided to join with my best friend and that it was for today evening, I didn't know what to do... Erik proposed me to ask her to do it at her home, it would be the opportunity for me to share with them the life I am living now. I find that very great, as I had given all my relationship to the HS for them to become holy ones, it was a beautiful step. So I called her, but it was too much for her. And I cancelled the evening as I felt being uncompromising, and following my purpose. It was completely ok for me. And she told she had felt I would call her to cancel!!
After the paltalk of Saturday evening i, I was guided to read the whole chapter 9 of the Text and going deeper in it. What I did in two days, and it was wonderful... I saw so many things in it, it was incredible. I felt sharing it on paltalk, but didn't have any guidance about that. So I was really happy having done it, it felt bringing me much deeper...
On Friday morning during my meditation I got the clear guidance to share it on paltalk the evening. So I ask Laurent to do an exceptional paltalk tonight, and he was just so welcoming at that idea, encouraging me to do whatever I feel guided around ACIM, whenever I want, without asking anything, just doing it!!! So I read it once again in the morning.
At his noon paltalk, he was talking about John 13. And it was so well orchestrated. The talk was about accepting the atonement too!! As the chapter 9!!
So that evening, I read the whole chapter and let the HS pouring through. It was really great, I was so passionated...
I love that so much, I am so grateful for what the HS is guiding me! And I can see all the steps that are just leading to the next one, and the next one, and the next one yet.
The day after, I had the guidance to add the reading of "true empathy", so powerful, for it showed me so clearly past behaviour, and the importance to let it go, and let the HS do his job! It brought me still a little farther...
And it's really like that that I am living all that... I have the impression to be in a game, where there are breadcrumps on the path to show me the way back Home, and every time that I take a breadcrump, I live an experience, which will lead to the next breadcrump and the next experience... That's how I see my life for now, as just a game... where everything is in my mind!
It's so great...
Joy, Happiness and Love
Armelle
Not even 5 minutes later Caroline had answere with so much joy feeling the power of that guidance! And so she gave me the key of the room... I was feeling so much Joy, a so simple Joy; not about what I would do, something deeper than that, that I felt being answering the deep call of my heart by following the guidance and trusting. Then I realised it was Saturday today!!! And I heard the HS laughing in the same time, for I would start this today!!! So I wrote a message on the HS yahoo group to tell it. Later, Laurent answered me telling he had felt the guidance from the Spirit some days ago for giving some paltalk the week-end too!! So it was a blessing, and he was welcoming my guidance too, as Sylvain did too. Great!
The day before, the HS guided me to be totally uncompromising since now, what is the key of the freedom!
So I was practicing it. As we had been guided to join with my best friend and that it was for today evening, I didn't know what to do... Erik proposed me to ask her to do it at her home, it would be the opportunity for me to share with them the life I am living now. I find that very great, as I had given all my relationship to the HS for them to become holy ones, it was a beautiful step. So I called her, but it was too much for her. And I cancelled the evening as I felt being uncompromising, and following my purpose. It was completely ok for me. And she told she had felt I would call her to cancel!!
After the paltalk of Saturday evening i, I was guided to read the whole chapter 9 of the Text and going deeper in it. What I did in two days, and it was wonderful... I saw so many things in it, it was incredible. I felt sharing it on paltalk, but didn't have any guidance about that. So I was really happy having done it, it felt bringing me much deeper...
On Friday morning during my meditation I got the clear guidance to share it on paltalk the evening. So I ask Laurent to do an exceptional paltalk tonight, and he was just so welcoming at that idea, encouraging me to do whatever I feel guided around ACIM, whenever I want, without asking anything, just doing it!!! So I read it once again in the morning.
At his noon paltalk, he was talking about John 13. And it was so well orchestrated. The talk was about accepting the atonement too!! As the chapter 9!!
So that evening, I read the whole chapter and let the HS pouring through. It was really great, I was so passionated...
I love that so much, I am so grateful for what the HS is guiding me! And I can see all the steps that are just leading to the next one, and the next one, and the next one yet.
The day after, I had the guidance to add the reading of "true empathy", so powerful, for it showed me so clearly past behaviour, and the importance to let it go, and let the HS do his job! It brought me still a little farther...
And it's really like that that I am living all that... I have the impression to be in a game, where there are breadcrumps on the path to show me the way back Home, and every time that I take a breadcrump, I live an experience, which will lead to the next breadcrump and the next experience... That's how I see my life for now, as just a game... where everything is in my mind!
It's so great...
Joy, Happiness and Love
Armelle
Projection is of Meaning
I've never really thought about it in exactly this way, but at this moment I am seeing very clearly into the nature of projection. I see now that it could be seen as having two layers.
First, my belief in separation projected out a tapestry of separate images that it called "the cosmos". As it teaches in the Course, the entire cosmos was projected out by the ego (the belief in separation) in order for it to have an almost endless number of scapegoats to blame for my sense of lack that the separation caused. The purpose for this was so that it (the belief in separation) would NOT be seen as the only cause of my sense of lack, which it is. For if I saw that this belief that was the sole problem, I might choose to withdraw my belief from it. And yet, so long as I cherish the possibility of experiencing specialness - which depends on separation, and which was the underlying motivation for attempting to separate from God in the first place - I will not want to withdraw my belief in separation as real.
The entire script of time and space seemed to spin out in that one, insane instant, and in that same instant, the second layer of projection occurred. This was the projection of separate meanings which were given to every aspect of the cosmos in order to create the illusion of separation within it. In other words, the cosmos and all of time and space is really only ONE thing - a meaningless dream. But it seems to be broken up and divided and sub-divided into MANY things - many galaxies, each containing many planets and suns, each containing many objects, some animate and others inanimate, etc.. It also seems to broken up into many segments of time - many eons, each containing many years, many lifetimes, many situations, many relationships, all of which are marked by arbitrary "beginnings" and "endings".
What we don't typically see is that ALL the boundaries that we ascribe to things are completely made-up by the mind. This is true whether they be physical boundaries (the lines that seem to define an object), time-based boundaries (when an event, situation, circumstance or relationship begins and ends), and of course the psychological/emotional boundaries we set up (i.e. "Okay, that's it - you've crossed the line now buddy!") .
Imagine a piece of blank white paper on which a little child just randomly scribbles with a black pen feriouciously for a while until the page looks like a complete mess. Then imagine that the child starts using an entire box of crayons to color within all the tiny little spaces, each with their own color, so that in the end there is no white spaces left. This is the universe in a nutshell, as perceived through our ego lenses. The color represents the sense of separateness each image has, even though underneath the color, it's all really the same white sheet of paper.
Then, as we go through life, the ego starts assigning meaning to everything- varying degrees of "good" meaning and "bad" meaning - onto every image and happening it perceives. And this is where the correction must first take place. Nothing has any intrinsic meaning. The universe and everything in it is meaningless. Underneath all the meaning we've colored onto everything, there is just a blank white sheet of paper, and when the white sheet of paper disappears, what's left is God and His Universe of Pure, Abstract Spirit, which we never left.
Everything else is mere illusion. And all illusion is vanity.
How is all of this practical to me? Well, if I no longer want to experience the pain that comes from seeing through the lense of separation, then I need to question and dispel all the thoughts I have that seem to project separate meanings onto everything. Toward this end, it's very helpful as I go about my day to watch my mind automatically projecting meaning onto whatever is happening. If someone serves me a meal, I project positive meaning onto that circumstance and call it "good". Yet if I start to feel an ache in my body, I project negative meaning onto that circumstance and call it "bad". Yet both are neutral events, meaning nothing in and of themselves.
All of the projection of meaning, both the "good" and the "bad", are defense mechanisms of my ego. The projection of good and bad meaning in varying degrees is like the coloring of the scribbled paper. My ego does it in order to prevent me from seeing the sameness (i.e. whiteness) of the paper it's all scribbled on. For if everything is "colored" differently, then it sure LOOKS like everything is separate from everything else. And then I can blame my sense of lack and separation on what seems to be a so-called "obvious fact", rather than taking responsibility for the fact that I've merely taken seriously my erroneous thoughts about what things supposedly mean.
And each time that I recognize that I'm upset because I've taken seriously a thought about what something means, then it's like mentally erasing the color from that particular segment of the scribbled paper. Suddenly, the whiteness underneath is seen and for a moment, I remember that there's whiteness underneath it all! In that instant, the sameness of everything springs to memory, the entire paper is seen as white, separation is seen as the lie, and God's Love engulfs me in it's Warmth.
This. This is the practical value of understanding these things. The reward comes in the every day application to what seem like real problems. And as I clarify these things for myself, again and again, I am liberated from the mental prison of false belief. Ahhh, such Gratitude I feel. Thank You, Holy Spirit of Truth within me... Thank You, Thank You, Thank You times infinity!
Love,
Erik
First, my belief in separation projected out a tapestry of separate images that it called "the cosmos". As it teaches in the Course, the entire cosmos was projected out by the ego (the belief in separation) in order for it to have an almost endless number of scapegoats to blame for my sense of lack that the separation caused. The purpose for this was so that it (the belief in separation) would NOT be seen as the only cause of my sense of lack, which it is. For if I saw that this belief that was the sole problem, I might choose to withdraw my belief from it. And yet, so long as I cherish the possibility of experiencing specialness - which depends on separation, and which was the underlying motivation for attempting to separate from God in the first place - I will not want to withdraw my belief in separation as real.
The entire script of time and space seemed to spin out in that one, insane instant, and in that same instant, the second layer of projection occurred. This was the projection of separate meanings which were given to every aspect of the cosmos in order to create the illusion of separation within it. In other words, the cosmos and all of time and space is really only ONE thing - a meaningless dream. But it seems to be broken up and divided and sub-divided into MANY things - many galaxies, each containing many planets and suns, each containing many objects, some animate and others inanimate, etc.. It also seems to broken up into many segments of time - many eons, each containing many years, many lifetimes, many situations, many relationships, all of which are marked by arbitrary "beginnings" and "endings".
What we don't typically see is that ALL the boundaries that we ascribe to things are completely made-up by the mind. This is true whether they be physical boundaries (the lines that seem to define an object), time-based boundaries (when an event, situation, circumstance or relationship begins and ends), and of course the psychological/emotional boundaries we set up (i.e. "Okay, that's it - you've crossed the line now buddy!") .
Imagine a piece of blank white paper on which a little child just randomly scribbles with a black pen feriouciously for a while until the page looks like a complete mess. Then imagine that the child starts using an entire box of crayons to color within all the tiny little spaces, each with their own color, so that in the end there is no white spaces left. This is the universe in a nutshell, as perceived through our ego lenses. The color represents the sense of separateness each image has, even though underneath the color, it's all really the same white sheet of paper.
Then, as we go through life, the ego starts assigning meaning to everything- varying degrees of "good" meaning and "bad" meaning - onto every image and happening it perceives. And this is where the correction must first take place. Nothing has any intrinsic meaning. The universe and everything in it is meaningless. Underneath all the meaning we've colored onto everything, there is just a blank white sheet of paper, and when the white sheet of paper disappears, what's left is God and His Universe of Pure, Abstract Spirit, which we never left.
Everything else is mere illusion. And all illusion is vanity.
How is all of this practical to me? Well, if I no longer want to experience the pain that comes from seeing through the lense of separation, then I need to question and dispel all the thoughts I have that seem to project separate meanings onto everything. Toward this end, it's very helpful as I go about my day to watch my mind automatically projecting meaning onto whatever is happening. If someone serves me a meal, I project positive meaning onto that circumstance and call it "good". Yet if I start to feel an ache in my body, I project negative meaning onto that circumstance and call it "bad". Yet both are neutral events, meaning nothing in and of themselves.
All of the projection of meaning, both the "good" and the "bad", are defense mechanisms of my ego. The projection of good and bad meaning in varying degrees is like the coloring of the scribbled paper. My ego does it in order to prevent me from seeing the sameness (i.e. whiteness) of the paper it's all scribbled on. For if everything is "colored" differently, then it sure LOOKS like everything is separate from everything else. And then I can blame my sense of lack and separation on what seems to be a so-called "obvious fact", rather than taking responsibility for the fact that I've merely taken seriously my erroneous thoughts about what things supposedly mean.
And each time that I recognize that I'm upset because I've taken seriously a thought about what something means, then it's like mentally erasing the color from that particular segment of the scribbled paper. Suddenly, the whiteness underneath is seen and for a moment, I remember that there's whiteness underneath it all! In that instant, the sameness of everything springs to memory, the entire paper is seen as white, separation is seen as the lie, and God's Love engulfs me in it's Warmth.
This. This is the practical value of understanding these things. The reward comes in the every day application to what seem like real problems. And as I clarify these things for myself, again and again, I am liberated from the mental prison of false belief. Ahhh, such Gratitude I feel. Thank You, Holy Spirit of Truth within me... Thank You, Thank You, Thank You times infinity!
Love,
Erik
Deep deep healing and mind-shifting after having said "Yes, I choose You"
This last jealousy experience was a wonderful opportunity, offering me to release what I felt being one of the most, maybe the most, important belief of the identity of Armelle. After having just said "Yes, HS, I choose You before everything else", everything shifted in my mind...
That evening, I was so peaceful after having released all that deep deep sadness, rage and anger. When we went to sleep we felt the guidance of having sex. For me, it was a completely new experience. I felt like if it was the first time... All my past seemed to disappear at that moment, and I felt being a teenager who doesn't know anything, and I let completely the Spirit drives. During that moment, I felt the presence of what I thought being a soul, that came to visit me around may. She was a girl and her name was "Ileah". This presence was so soft. I didn't know what it meant. I just felt her several times, and it was the first time with Erik tonight.
This moment was so perfect, erasing all traces of the past... mmmh so good.
The morning, Erik wanted to talk about what was happening in Paris and know more about what I was living, etc... I first told it wasn't important, everything was ok now, and it was enough. But he insisted, thinking it would be better for me to share...I did it, with my heart wide open. And then the ego jumped on that, and I asked him what he was living. And I wasn't feeling his answer. I told him that that conversation wouldn't have taken place, and that I wasn't believing him, I was feeling he was lying, and it was really horrible, for he wasn't even telling what he told me that day, but kind of making just a beautiful and perfect image of him. He answered me that even if he was lying, I would have to trust him! It strengthens the ego still more, and I decided to leave the room.
Later, I went to talk with Wenz, a guy with whom I connected very deeply at the castle, who has a great way of seeing life, kind of way as the course, but not exactly. This talk was very deep for me. I felt like if it was my Father calling me Home, and giving me the way how to do it. we talk about what happened this week-end, and also my relationship with my parents; and he told me how I have to be full of integrity. That was resonate in me. I heard, uncompromising and remembered Sarah's words too. At the end of the talk, my head started to turn, and I didn't see anything around him, it was disappearing. Deep!
This day, we came back to my parents'house for practicle stuff, at the end of the day. I've felt going this day, and go back to the castle to spend the last evening before their departure tomorrow with Keith and Christiane. So we did. I was ok now, and was feeling it would be good for us both to be a time alone, that was never happened before...
For dinner we went to a restaurant to eat a pizza, what Erik wanted so much! I didn't want to eat that, but felt the guidance to eat it, very strongly. I thought it was to help undoing the belief with gluten allergy. So I did. As we were eating, the discussion came again on this week-end, and it turned exactly the same way than this morning, as the ego was just rejoicing, and that I didn't feel I could do something else.
Once at home, I went to bed without talking. .Later I went down asking Erik to just telling me the truth, that I didn't care about what it could be, but feeling he wasn't honnest was horrible for me.. He didn't say anything, so I left and went back in my room. I still cried more and as deeply as the day before, I couldn't stop. In the same time, I was seeing all the pictures of my past with my boyfriends, where I had felt so deeply not having been worthy enough to be loved by those men that all were so great, and how I had felt for those that they were always looking at other women, and that they were dishonnest with me. It was burried deeply, waw. I never had that feeling before... It has always been masked by something else. And with Erik it came a lot since we are married! Like if I don't deserve it!
It was so strong I started to shake, without controling it. It was still more rooted than what I thought yesterday when Sarah told me I had a choice to make. I felt I would completely lose my identity, and it wasn't pretending I think, it felt now if it was happening, by letting go all that past and stop grasping to that story. Erik brought me in the sofa, where I lay down on his knees. He was caressing my head, and I started to tell him everything I was feeling since ever, but had always been hidden in my mind and still played on the screen, and that all that was coming up and it was overwhelming. He was so sweet.
The day after, when I woke up, I could see the ego on the edge, ready to jump every moment. I felt there was still something. I wanted to call Sarah again and talk with her on skype. As I opened skype, I had Caroline's face in vision, and saw she was connected. I felt it was a guidance and asked her to talk with her. We talked during almost three hours, living also very deep healing where we felt all the women were with us, stopping the rivality, and also stopping the competition between men and women. I had the vision of the all world being stand up to celebrate with us, I was hearing cries of Joy, and seeing the crowd.... Waw. It was incredible! I told her that the more the seemingly separation is strong to join with someone, the more I feel the ego is afraid, and there is a wonderful gift for me... And once again, it was true!
Afterwards, Erik and I were guiding through a healing process too, the HS using sexuality to heal the world. I had the impression that all the women were with me, and all the men with Erik, and it was like if I was giving birth to a new world. There was only the sensation of oneness. There was no Armelle and no Erik. There was even not two bodies at that moment, it was far much bigger than that. Far beyond our little control!!
Later, it still happens, as we weren't expecting it, and this time without having any physical contact, as if we were shown that it had nothing to do with the body, very strong!
As the day was going I really weren't feeling being the same anymore. Something completely new was "born".
Since those days, I just live deep peace, and my heart is opening more and more every moment.
So, yes, every day, I want to say "yes" again to my Father and choose Him again and again, before everything else... that's the paht of the pure Joy...
May all those sharing of experiences lightened your path,
I joined with you all my Brothers and Sisters in the Truth of who We Are.
I love Us
Armelle
That evening, I was so peaceful after having released all that deep deep sadness, rage and anger. When we went to sleep we felt the guidance of having sex. For me, it was a completely new experience. I felt like if it was the first time... All my past seemed to disappear at that moment, and I felt being a teenager who doesn't know anything, and I let completely the Spirit drives. During that moment, I felt the presence of what I thought being a soul, that came to visit me around may. She was a girl and her name was "Ileah". This presence was so soft. I didn't know what it meant. I just felt her several times, and it was the first time with Erik tonight.
This moment was so perfect, erasing all traces of the past... mmmh so good.
The morning, Erik wanted to talk about what was happening in Paris and know more about what I was living, etc... I first told it wasn't important, everything was ok now, and it was enough. But he insisted, thinking it would be better for me to share...I did it, with my heart wide open. And then the ego jumped on that, and I asked him what he was living. And I wasn't feeling his answer. I told him that that conversation wouldn't have taken place, and that I wasn't believing him, I was feeling he was lying, and it was really horrible, for he wasn't even telling what he told me that day, but kind of making just a beautiful and perfect image of him. He answered me that even if he was lying, I would have to trust him! It strengthens the ego still more, and I decided to leave the room.
Later, I went to talk with Wenz, a guy with whom I connected very deeply at the castle, who has a great way of seeing life, kind of way as the course, but not exactly. This talk was very deep for me. I felt like if it was my Father calling me Home, and giving me the way how to do it. we talk about what happened this week-end, and also my relationship with my parents; and he told me how I have to be full of integrity. That was resonate in me. I heard, uncompromising and remembered Sarah's words too. At the end of the talk, my head started to turn, and I didn't see anything around him, it was disappearing. Deep!
This day, we came back to my parents'house for practicle stuff, at the end of the day. I've felt going this day, and go back to the castle to spend the last evening before their departure tomorrow with Keith and Christiane. So we did. I was ok now, and was feeling it would be good for us both to be a time alone, that was never happened before...
For dinner we went to a restaurant to eat a pizza, what Erik wanted so much! I didn't want to eat that, but felt the guidance to eat it, very strongly. I thought it was to help undoing the belief with gluten allergy. So I did. As we were eating, the discussion came again on this week-end, and it turned exactly the same way than this morning, as the ego was just rejoicing, and that I didn't feel I could do something else.
Once at home, I went to bed without talking. .Later I went down asking Erik to just telling me the truth, that I didn't care about what it could be, but feeling he wasn't honnest was horrible for me.. He didn't say anything, so I left and went back in my room. I still cried more and as deeply as the day before, I couldn't stop. In the same time, I was seeing all the pictures of my past with my boyfriends, where I had felt so deeply not having been worthy enough to be loved by those men that all were so great, and how I had felt for those that they were always looking at other women, and that they were dishonnest with me. It was burried deeply, waw. I never had that feeling before... It has always been masked by something else. And with Erik it came a lot since we are married! Like if I don't deserve it!
It was so strong I started to shake, without controling it. It was still more rooted than what I thought yesterday when Sarah told me I had a choice to make. I felt I would completely lose my identity, and it wasn't pretending I think, it felt now if it was happening, by letting go all that past and stop grasping to that story. Erik brought me in the sofa, where I lay down on his knees. He was caressing my head, and I started to tell him everything I was feeling since ever, but had always been hidden in my mind and still played on the screen, and that all that was coming up and it was overwhelming. He was so sweet.
The day after, when I woke up, I could see the ego on the edge, ready to jump every moment. I felt there was still something. I wanted to call Sarah again and talk with her on skype. As I opened skype, I had Caroline's face in vision, and saw she was connected. I felt it was a guidance and asked her to talk with her. We talked during almost three hours, living also very deep healing where we felt all the women were with us, stopping the rivality, and also stopping the competition between men and women. I had the vision of the all world being stand up to celebrate with us, I was hearing cries of Joy, and seeing the crowd.... Waw. It was incredible! I told her that the more the seemingly separation is strong to join with someone, the more I feel the ego is afraid, and there is a wonderful gift for me... And once again, it was true!
Afterwards, Erik and I were guiding through a healing process too, the HS using sexuality to heal the world. I had the impression that all the women were with me, and all the men with Erik, and it was like if I was giving birth to a new world. There was only the sensation of oneness. There was no Armelle and no Erik. There was even not two bodies at that moment, it was far much bigger than that. Far beyond our little control!!
Later, it still happens, as we weren't expecting it, and this time without having any physical contact, as if we were shown that it had nothing to do with the body, very strong!
As the day was going I really weren't feeling being the same anymore. Something completely new was "born".
Since those days, I just live deep peace, and my heart is opening more and more every moment.
So, yes, every day, I want to say "yes" again to my Father and choose Him again and again, before everything else... that's the paht of the pure Joy...
May all those sharing of experiences lightened your path,
I joined with you all my Brothers and Sisters in the Truth of who We Are.
I love Us
Armelle
"You are the Holy Spirit."
In A Course in Miracles, Jesus makes it very clear that I must learn to trust my brothers, and see them as the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is outside the dream, but speaking to me through every means that I will avail myself of - books, movies, people, postcards, billboards, photographs, and of course in my own thoughts.
The Course spends a great deal of time focusing on teaching me how to perceive the Holy Spirit in everyone. This is, of course, the most difficult thing to do because it runs in direct opposition to what my ego wants: to see everyone as an ego! And the first step in learning this is to accept the fact that I DO want to see everyone as an ego. I want to see everyone as an ego because of all the guilt I am storing in my mind (that we ALL are storing) that I need a depository for. And so other people become my dumping ground; the trash cans that I psychologically vomit all my guilt onto so that it is them that seem to be the guilty ones rather than myself.
As I practice forgiveness - which is about forgiving my brothers and myself for what I HAVEN'T done (since in truth, nothing has ever really happened to separate my mind from God's) - the Innocence that I begin to experience draws me inexorably toward Itself and I find that struggling to fight against the process (which sometimes feels like death) becomes intolerable. All I can do is surrender completely to the Light, and the gift of this surrendering is the experience of Total Peace.
Also, in this process of surrendering, I'm learning that my greatest peace and Joy comes from COMPLETELY giving up my perception of our brother as an ego, and comes SOLELY from seeing him as the Holy Spirit. I used to think before that someone had to earn my trust first and demonstrate that they were at least partially "enlightened" before I'd be willing to consider that maybe, just maybe the Holy Spirit could speak through them to me. But now I understand how backwards that kind of thinking was. It's like the title of that Wayne Dyer book, "I'll see it when I believe it." It doesn't work the other way around.
What I'm discovering is that there are ONLY two choices: you can see your brother as an ego OR as the Holy Spirit. There is nothing in between. You can't go around thinking that some people are enlightened; some people are totally egoic; and others are somewhere in between those two extremes. That is how the ego WANTS me to think, and it is very tempting indeed! But what I'm learning is that there ARE no enlightened or unenlightened people; there is only an enlightened way of perceiving and an unenlightened way of perceiving. And there is nothing in between. If I choose to see ANYONE as an ego or even as a person HAVING an ego, then I am choosing the unenlightened perspective. There's nothing wrong with this, mind you; no penalty for making this choice; only that it will leave me feeling unsatisfied and in the dark cloud of denial. The only price for remaining in the dark cloud of denial is that I am still in the dark cloud of denial.
It has been very humbling to come to this realization. It means that I've been mistaken about everything I've ever believed. And it's especially humbling, each and every day, if you're in an intimate relationship with someone and committed to this inner path.
In my relationship with Armelle, for example, the temptation to perceive her as an ego comes a thousand times a day; most of the time below my conscious awareness. Most of the time there is just a minor sense that we aren't experiencing total Oneness with each other. Anything less than total Oneness is ego. But the dark cloud of denial is so thick that, relatively speaking, this is rarely acknowledged. The fact that I am perceiving her as an ego only reaches consciousness when some "violation" has seemingly occurred; i.e. when something I perceive in her behavior violates one of the pre-set expectations I set up without even being aware of it. An example of this occurred earlier today when she looked at me in a way that made me think she might be judging me. Of course my ego immediately feels threatened and says, "Why is she looking at me that way! She should be practicing her forgiveness right about now!" Lol...
I've noticed that not just with her, but also with many others with whom I've walked on the spiritual path over the years, that there is a strong tendency to try to correct them but to get defensive when they try to correct me. Spiritual people are highly skilled at seeing the ego at work in others, while avoiding the same defense mechanisms in themselves, and so they often try to "correct" others under the guise of "being helpful". But to blame them for this error is just as much a mistake as the error they are making. It's all a game of ego seeing ego. Eventually I learned that the fastest way to undo MY OWN ego (which is the only ego there is) is to stop correcting others and yet to ALLOW others to correct me.
This was a tough lesson to accept at first, because the first defense that my ego tried to throw up was, "Hey, wait a minute! If I can't correct them anymore, why should I let them correct me!!!!" But of course, it's exactly what the ego DOESN'T want that is what I'm realizing I DO want since it will lead to the end of the ego's life, which marks the beginning of Real Life. It requires me to be supremely humble, and to accept myself as the one-who-needs-healing in every relationship and encounter.
So with Armelle, and with everyone I encounter now, I practice remembering one thing as I regard them: You are the Holy Spirit. Everything you do or say is a blessing to me. You are either demonstrating Love to me, or you are offering me another forgiveness opportunity, and I thank you for that.
Armelle wrote recently in one of these blog posts (titled "Not following the guidance, projection, and attraction to guilt") about the jealousy she was experiencing a couple weeks ago in Paris when our friend Caroline and I were spending a lot of time together sharing about deep stuff. And when Armelle got upset and began verbally accusing me of trying to seduce Caroline, of playing games, etc.., the temptation to perceive her as an ego was VERY strong. And did I fall into that temptation? Yes, of course. The point isn't to avoid falling into the hole of judgment, but to train our minds to get out as quickly as possible. Yes, eventually we learn to step around the hole, but first we have to learn to see how often we fall into it, and then practice getting out quicker and quicker.
I've noticed that when I fall into the hole of judgment these days, it tends to be a very mild "injury" to myself now. In other words, I never go into a rage anymore, probably because my mind simply has learned not to tolerate that level of emotional upset anymore. And yet, at the same, a minor upset is really nothing more than a cover over intense rage, so I suppose it's all the same whether it appears mild or intense. Judgment is judgment.
In this case with Armelle, it was the very mild form of judgment where my ego is quietly sitting back being a very "spiritual ego" seeing someone else's "ugly and jealous ego" and feeling very superior as a result. In the spiritual ego's mind, I find myself thinking what SEEM like very compassionate thoughts: "Oh she's just having an ego attack; she'll get out of it eventually." or "It's okay. I'll forgive her for being in her ego, and I know that eventually she'll forgive herself.", etc..
But later that weekend, I came to realize that those kinds of thoughts are just as much wrong-minded as the thoughts she was seemingly having about me. There are no "degrees" to the ego. The ego is the ego is the ego. Thoughts about another's ego are still coming from MY ego because I'm still seeing her as the one with the problem! It is in denial of the fact that there is only ONE problem: perceiving a problem anywhere other than in my perception.
Right-minded perception (the Holy Spirit's perception) doesn't see ANYONE as having an ego at all! It knows that there is only ONE ego and it isn't "out there" - it exists solely in my own mind. In exists solely at the level of perception. It's like there are two pairs of glasses I can look through the world with - the ego's or the Spirit's. And the ego doesn't exist anywhere other than in MY pair of ego glasses. In other words...
There ARE no manifestations of ego in the world.
There are only neutral images, and yet when I choose to look at these neutral images through my pair of ego glasses, then it APPEARS that the ego is manifesting itself inside the images and acting through them. This dynamic is part of the ingenuity of the ego thought system. It protects itself by making you see itself everywhere but where it actually exists: It is in my own darkened glasses, and no where else.
When I understand this and accept it fully, then ALL of Armelle's behavior (and everyone's) becomes a blessing, for it flushes up the parts of my own ego that I wasn't able to see previously, and allows me then to look at it. Looking is the only way to undo my ego. Once I'm willing to do that - to look at my own ego instead of living in denial by thinking that the ego might also exist in someone else - then there is hope! Then Armelle becomes my Savior, the Holy Spirit Herself, acting out a role called "jealous wife" for me, in what could be thought of as a perfectly orchestrated, therapeutic skit designed by Pure Wisdom to give me an unprecedented opportunity to see another aspect of how my ego enslaves me.
And that's what this whole universe is when I see it clearly, when I have the willingness to let my perception be healed completely. I then see it as a vast play in which the Holy Spirit is playing every part - the seemingly "good" persons as well as the seemingly "bad" persons. The whole play is perfectly orchestrated by Him with only one purpose in mind - to provide the most Joyous therapeutic experience possible for one mind and one mind only - my own! Each experience is designed to give me an opportunity to see "The Matrix" I've been enslaved by in my own mind! And if I temporarily forget this way of thinking and go into denial again, then it's okay... it won't be long before the Holy Spirit reminds me again. The pain of denial can only be tolerated for so long. I'll always eventually remember again, for healing is inevitable. And the more I remember to surrender my sword of judgment, while allowing everyone else to keep theirs, the faster I will remember my invulnerability as the Son of God.
Thank you Holy Spirit! Thank you for Acting through everyone of my brothers and sisters, and by orchestrating each and every moment of my life for the healing of what never was.
Love,
Erik
The Course spends a great deal of time focusing on teaching me how to perceive the Holy Spirit in everyone. This is, of course, the most difficult thing to do because it runs in direct opposition to what my ego wants: to see everyone as an ego! And the first step in learning this is to accept the fact that I DO want to see everyone as an ego. I want to see everyone as an ego because of all the guilt I am storing in my mind (that we ALL are storing) that I need a depository for. And so other people become my dumping ground; the trash cans that I psychologically vomit all my guilt onto so that it is them that seem to be the guilty ones rather than myself.
As I practice forgiveness - which is about forgiving my brothers and myself for what I HAVEN'T done (since in truth, nothing has ever really happened to separate my mind from God's) - the Innocence that I begin to experience draws me inexorably toward Itself and I find that struggling to fight against the process (which sometimes feels like death) becomes intolerable. All I can do is surrender completely to the Light, and the gift of this surrendering is the experience of Total Peace.
Also, in this process of surrendering, I'm learning that my greatest peace and Joy comes from COMPLETELY giving up my perception of our brother as an ego, and comes SOLELY from seeing him as the Holy Spirit. I used to think before that someone had to earn my trust first and demonstrate that they were at least partially "enlightened" before I'd be willing to consider that maybe, just maybe the Holy Spirit could speak through them to me. But now I understand how backwards that kind of thinking was. It's like the title of that Wayne Dyer book, "I'll see it when I believe it." It doesn't work the other way around.
What I'm discovering is that there are ONLY two choices: you can see your brother as an ego OR as the Holy Spirit. There is nothing in between. You can't go around thinking that some people are enlightened; some people are totally egoic; and others are somewhere in between those two extremes. That is how the ego WANTS me to think, and it is very tempting indeed! But what I'm learning is that there ARE no enlightened or unenlightened people; there is only an enlightened way of perceiving and an unenlightened way of perceiving. And there is nothing in between. If I choose to see ANYONE as an ego or even as a person HAVING an ego, then I am choosing the unenlightened perspective. There's nothing wrong with this, mind you; no penalty for making this choice; only that it will leave me feeling unsatisfied and in the dark cloud of denial. The only price for remaining in the dark cloud of denial is that I am still in the dark cloud of denial.
It has been very humbling to come to this realization. It means that I've been mistaken about everything I've ever believed. And it's especially humbling, each and every day, if you're in an intimate relationship with someone and committed to this inner path.
In my relationship with Armelle, for example, the temptation to perceive her as an ego comes a thousand times a day; most of the time below my conscious awareness. Most of the time there is just a minor sense that we aren't experiencing total Oneness with each other. Anything less than total Oneness is ego. But the dark cloud of denial is so thick that, relatively speaking, this is rarely acknowledged. The fact that I am perceiving her as an ego only reaches consciousness when some "violation" has seemingly occurred; i.e. when something I perceive in her behavior violates one of the pre-set expectations I set up without even being aware of it. An example of this occurred earlier today when she looked at me in a way that made me think she might be judging me. Of course my ego immediately feels threatened and says, "Why is she looking at me that way! She should be practicing her forgiveness right about now!" Lol...
I've noticed that not just with her, but also with many others with whom I've walked on the spiritual path over the years, that there is a strong tendency to try to correct them but to get defensive when they try to correct me. Spiritual people are highly skilled at seeing the ego at work in others, while avoiding the same defense mechanisms in themselves, and so they often try to "correct" others under the guise of "being helpful". But to blame them for this error is just as much a mistake as the error they are making. It's all a game of ego seeing ego. Eventually I learned that the fastest way to undo MY OWN ego (which is the only ego there is) is to stop correcting others and yet to ALLOW others to correct me.
This was a tough lesson to accept at first, because the first defense that my ego tried to throw up was, "Hey, wait a minute! If I can't correct them anymore, why should I let them correct me!!!!" But of course, it's exactly what the ego DOESN'T want that is what I'm realizing I DO want since it will lead to the end of the ego's life, which marks the beginning of Real Life. It requires me to be supremely humble, and to accept myself as the one-who-needs-healing in every relationship and encounter.
So with Armelle, and with everyone I encounter now, I practice remembering one thing as I regard them: You are the Holy Spirit. Everything you do or say is a blessing to me. You are either demonstrating Love to me, or you are offering me another forgiveness opportunity, and I thank you for that.
Armelle wrote recently in one of these blog posts (titled "Not following the guidance, projection, and attraction to guilt") about the jealousy she was experiencing a couple weeks ago in Paris when our friend Caroline and I were spending a lot of time together sharing about deep stuff. And when Armelle got upset and began verbally accusing me of trying to seduce Caroline, of playing games, etc.., the temptation to perceive her as an ego was VERY strong. And did I fall into that temptation? Yes, of course. The point isn't to avoid falling into the hole of judgment, but to train our minds to get out as quickly as possible. Yes, eventually we learn to step around the hole, but first we have to learn to see how often we fall into it, and then practice getting out quicker and quicker.
I've noticed that when I fall into the hole of judgment these days, it tends to be a very mild "injury" to myself now. In other words, I never go into a rage anymore, probably because my mind simply has learned not to tolerate that level of emotional upset anymore. And yet, at the same, a minor upset is really nothing more than a cover over intense rage, so I suppose it's all the same whether it appears mild or intense. Judgment is judgment.
In this case with Armelle, it was the very mild form of judgment where my ego is quietly sitting back being a very "spiritual ego" seeing someone else's "ugly and jealous ego" and feeling very superior as a result. In the spiritual ego's mind, I find myself thinking what SEEM like very compassionate thoughts: "Oh she's just having an ego attack; she'll get out of it eventually." or "It's okay. I'll forgive her for being in her ego, and I know that eventually she'll forgive herself.", etc..
But later that weekend, I came to realize that those kinds of thoughts are just as much wrong-minded as the thoughts she was seemingly having about me. There are no "degrees" to the ego. The ego is the ego is the ego. Thoughts about another's ego are still coming from MY ego because I'm still seeing her as the one with the problem! It is in denial of the fact that there is only ONE problem: perceiving a problem anywhere other than in my perception.
Right-minded perception (the Holy Spirit's perception) doesn't see ANYONE as having an ego at all! It knows that there is only ONE ego and it isn't "out there" - it exists solely in my own mind. In exists solely at the level of perception. It's like there are two pairs of glasses I can look through the world with - the ego's or the Spirit's. And the ego doesn't exist anywhere other than in MY pair of ego glasses. In other words...
There ARE no manifestations of ego in the world.
There are only neutral images, and yet when I choose to look at these neutral images through my pair of ego glasses, then it APPEARS that the ego is manifesting itself inside the images and acting through them. This dynamic is part of the ingenuity of the ego thought system. It protects itself by making you see itself everywhere but where it actually exists: It is in my own darkened glasses, and no where else.
When I understand this and accept it fully, then ALL of Armelle's behavior (and everyone's) becomes a blessing, for it flushes up the parts of my own ego that I wasn't able to see previously, and allows me then to look at it. Looking is the only way to undo my ego. Once I'm willing to do that - to look at my own ego instead of living in denial by thinking that the ego might also exist in someone else - then there is hope! Then Armelle becomes my Savior, the Holy Spirit Herself, acting out a role called "jealous wife" for me, in what could be thought of as a perfectly orchestrated, therapeutic skit designed by Pure Wisdom to give me an unprecedented opportunity to see another aspect of how my ego enslaves me.
And that's what this whole universe is when I see it clearly, when I have the willingness to let my perception be healed completely. I then see it as a vast play in which the Holy Spirit is playing every part - the seemingly "good" persons as well as the seemingly "bad" persons. The whole play is perfectly orchestrated by Him with only one purpose in mind - to provide the most Joyous therapeutic experience possible for one mind and one mind only - my own! Each experience is designed to give me an opportunity to see "The Matrix" I've been enslaved by in my own mind! And if I temporarily forget this way of thinking and go into denial again, then it's okay... it won't be long before the Holy Spirit reminds me again. The pain of denial can only be tolerated for so long. I'll always eventually remember again, for healing is inevitable. And the more I remember to surrender my sword of judgment, while allowing everyone else to keep theirs, the faster I will remember my invulnerability as the Son of God.
Thank you Holy Spirit! Thank you for Acting through everyone of my brothers and sisters, and by orchestrating each and every moment of my life for the healing of what never was.
Love,
Erik
Message of February 4
My very dear Brothers,
The life that you seem to live is nothing compared to the Kingdom of Your Father. You want at all costs to make real these illusions with which you like to lull yourselves, but you do not want to believe in the Power and Strength that is yours, naturally, being of Your Father. You deny your worthy legacy for the packaged junk they sell. You are so afraid of your True Being, Your Power. For it is not death that frightens you, because there is no death, even if you want to continue believing in it. It is Life that you really fear.
The light is emerging, increasingly, your Light, that You Are, as the Son of God. And you remain determined to lock yourself in what you call shadows, so much this Light scares you. Know that you do not help anyone trying again and again to be little, to not take up too much room. You are all brothers, united in the Oneness of Love that you are in the Father, in which you live forever. I have shown you the way; I've shown you that there is no death. Today, I am always at your side, ready to take your hand when you choose. There was some doubt in my earthly life, as there is in yours. But doubt is an illusion that keeps you in that state of no choice, and prisoner of strings that pull the ego. You can choose that this is not what you want, as I chose it... You are powerful beyond what you can imagine. You can choose Eternal Life. Your Father offers it to you, lovingly and patiently.
You create your world from moment to moment, and you continue to make war and conflict, for a small desire for independence, to feel that you still exist as a separate person. You continue to want power and seek every means to gain it, thinking you must take it from your Brother, who seems to have it, so you can also be powerful, recognized. But I repeat, you Are Powerful beyond what you imagine. Your Power is within. Nothing serves to seek it through all the means you make, outside in the world. This is only an illusion of power, behind which you have to scramble to make sure you keep it. That will certainly keep you occupied some years, during which you will not even be concerned about what happens in you, your innermost Being, your Truth. You continue to want to run, suffer, exhaust yourself, destroy yourself to keep your illusions. What a sad price to pay to "exist." While I'm talking about Eternity and Pure Love, you choose to worry about the price of your new car. Or how to resolve this conflict, or that one or the other one that you seem to have and that it is necessary to control at any price.
Stop my dear Brothers, stop. You're missing the Essence of your purpose on earth. You're here to experience and to remember yourself. Everything in your world is a playground, bringing you opportunities to realize every moment from Whom You really Are. Not to play with toys and lose yourself in them, wanting another and then another and another and another until you've completely forgotten, until you have complete amnesia.
The Kingdom is here and now. Do not be fooled by what you seem to see, your view is deceiving you. Hear My Voice and My Voice only. It takes you back to the Truth in your Home in the Father, who has never abandoned us, whom we never left.
Leave the illusions in the illusion and see the truth everywhere. Do you recognize in each of Your Brothers, in every thing that seems to be there, around you, because God is everywhere. It is in Seeing God in everything that you recognize that God is in You, that We Are not and have never been separated. Love one another as I Love You because You and I Are One. And I Love You because I Love Myself, and as I Am, You Are. There is no difference. Christ shines his Light in all of us. Recognize Your Brother as he really Is. Look beyond the body that seems to exist, and is in Reality nothing!
I am with you throughout the journey. We walk hand in hand in perfect unity.
Translated from French by our Friend Andy
Lots of Love
Armelle
The life that you seem to live is nothing compared to the Kingdom of Your Father. You want at all costs to make real these illusions with which you like to lull yourselves, but you do not want to believe in the Power and Strength that is yours, naturally, being of Your Father. You deny your worthy legacy for the packaged junk they sell. You are so afraid of your True Being, Your Power. For it is not death that frightens you, because there is no death, even if you want to continue believing in it. It is Life that you really fear.
The light is emerging, increasingly, your Light, that You Are, as the Son of God. And you remain determined to lock yourself in what you call shadows, so much this Light scares you. Know that you do not help anyone trying again and again to be little, to not take up too much room. You are all brothers, united in the Oneness of Love that you are in the Father, in which you live forever. I have shown you the way; I've shown you that there is no death. Today, I am always at your side, ready to take your hand when you choose. There was some doubt in my earthly life, as there is in yours. But doubt is an illusion that keeps you in that state of no choice, and prisoner of strings that pull the ego. You can choose that this is not what you want, as I chose it... You are powerful beyond what you can imagine. You can choose Eternal Life. Your Father offers it to you, lovingly and patiently.
You create your world from moment to moment, and you continue to make war and conflict, for a small desire for independence, to feel that you still exist as a separate person. You continue to want power and seek every means to gain it, thinking you must take it from your Brother, who seems to have it, so you can also be powerful, recognized. But I repeat, you Are Powerful beyond what you imagine. Your Power is within. Nothing serves to seek it through all the means you make, outside in the world. This is only an illusion of power, behind which you have to scramble to make sure you keep it. That will certainly keep you occupied some years, during which you will not even be concerned about what happens in you, your innermost Being, your Truth. You continue to want to run, suffer, exhaust yourself, destroy yourself to keep your illusions. What a sad price to pay to "exist." While I'm talking about Eternity and Pure Love, you choose to worry about the price of your new car. Or how to resolve this conflict, or that one or the other one that you seem to have and that it is necessary to control at any price.
Stop my dear Brothers, stop. You're missing the Essence of your purpose on earth. You're here to experience and to remember yourself. Everything in your world is a playground, bringing you opportunities to realize every moment from Whom You really Are. Not to play with toys and lose yourself in them, wanting another and then another and another and another until you've completely forgotten, until you have complete amnesia.
The Kingdom is here and now. Do not be fooled by what you seem to see, your view is deceiving you. Hear My Voice and My Voice only. It takes you back to the Truth in your Home in the Father, who has never abandoned us, whom we never left.
Leave the illusions in the illusion and see the truth everywhere. Do you recognize in each of Your Brothers, in every thing that seems to be there, around you, because God is everywhere. It is in Seeing God in everything that you recognize that God is in You, that We Are not and have never been separated. Love one another as I Love You because You and I Are One. And I Love You because I Love Myself, and as I Am, You Are. There is no difference. Christ shines his Light in all of us. Recognize Your Brother as he really Is. Look beyond the body that seems to exist, and is in Reality nothing!
I am with you throughout the journey. We walk hand in hand in perfect unity.
Translated from French by our Friend Andy
Lots of Love
Armelle
Undoing the belief in rejection
Today I had the profound realization that rejection is impossible; it doesn't even exist!
I experienced this when I arrived at the Light House in the USA, with Thomas, and a few days later, the Holy Spirit had explained that rejection was not possible because we were not separated. Even then this revelation seemed huge and very enlightening and gave me the possibility of closing the door on the ego when he tried to come back with that. The first coat of varnish on the poor little rejected victim had been removed. Yet, I continued for some time to experience rejection.
Today I just made a giant step.
Not only had I intuitively felt that rejection was impossible, but at another level of understanding than what I had had up until then, at a completely unexpected moment, such that I experienced no rejection, and that I absolutely did not question this belief.
I can not explain this feeling; it's just a certainty, as if I Know! And the Holy Spirit showed me that if the world is within me and all I see is a projection of this... If I seem to experience rejection, it is only because I have this belief in me, which insists on being played out on the screen of "my" world. But since all the characters playing on the screen are also inside me I can not be rejected, since everything I seem to see outside, is actually inside.
So I cannot experience rejection, as everything that seems to be outside is just part of me. There is no separation in this. Rejection is completely impossible and completely irrelevant even, and therefore completely non-existent. So if I feel it again, it is because I choose to experience it, and because I’m calling out to feel it again, and I continue to believe in the reality of what is on the screen and the reality of separation and to not think that all this is found in me but outside of me. And thus to give reality to the belief in separation, and thus maintain my own personal existence, and the mask of a victim at the same time.
Waw, it's wonderful that I feel free to find all this lightness...
Translated from French by Andy Lecomte
Lots of Love to every One
Armelle
I experienced this when I arrived at the Light House in the USA, with Thomas, and a few days later, the Holy Spirit had explained that rejection was not possible because we were not separated. Even then this revelation seemed huge and very enlightening and gave me the possibility of closing the door on the ego when he tried to come back with that. The first coat of varnish on the poor little rejected victim had been removed. Yet, I continued for some time to experience rejection.
Today I just made a giant step.
Not only had I intuitively felt that rejection was impossible, but at another level of understanding than what I had had up until then, at a completely unexpected moment, such that I experienced no rejection, and that I absolutely did not question this belief.
I can not explain this feeling; it's just a certainty, as if I Know! And the Holy Spirit showed me that if the world is within me and all I see is a projection of this... If I seem to experience rejection, it is only because I have this belief in me, which insists on being played out on the screen of "my" world. But since all the characters playing on the screen are also inside me I can not be rejected, since everything I seem to see outside, is actually inside.
So I cannot experience rejection, as everything that seems to be outside is just part of me. There is no separation in this. Rejection is completely impossible and completely irrelevant even, and therefore completely non-existent. So if I feel it again, it is because I choose to experience it, and because I’m calling out to feel it again, and I continue to believe in the reality of what is on the screen and the reality of separation and to not think that all this is found in me but outside of me. And thus to give reality to the belief in separation, and thus maintain my own personal existence, and the mask of a victim at the same time.
Waw, it's wonderful that I feel free to find all this lightness...
Translated from French by Andy Lecomte
Lots of Love to every One
Armelle
February 3, My Prayer for My Father ....
The day has just begun, a new, an other, a different one. As if it really existed ...
We're back from seeing Avatar, and my heart is burning with intense Love of recognition.
Yes, it's You I want, My Father, and Thee alone.
Above all my Brothers, it is You whom I choose. Nothing in this world is worth what you offer me every moment when I choose to remember... So instead, I focus on not forgetting... I am not this body, I am not this human, I am not this woman, I'm not this girl, was not that mother, this therapist, am not this wife , this sister, or this aunt, godmother, this friend... I am none of these specific functions, because what I am is far too big to be contained in any role or function whatsoever. Nothing in this world has any value anymore. I want only You. I give You everything, for nothing is more worth than the Kingdom, the memory of what I've always been. There's nothing that I want to keep, to which I still cling in resistance. I've done it enough, and look where I am today... I had amnesia for so long, too long for what seems to be time. Today I only want to remember, to wake up... Stop the Sleeping Beauty story... Prince Charming has arrived, and today it is through You and You alone that I want to love him. For there is no Love but Yours, no strength but Yours and not even any other Life but with You.
In Thee, I live, my beloved Father. In You, I simply exist. Because You are, and as You Are, I Am. Nothing more or nothing else is needed, just simply To Be. ...
That is what I choose ...
There is nothing in this world of sufficient value to make me want to believe again I'm separated from Thee. I give up my weapons that maintained this belief; I have no more strength, no more tears to shed in seeking to exist, to be seen, recognized, loved... I wave the white flag; I remove my armor, and I return, naked, shining like a worm, to the house of my loving Father, Who has always been waiting for me.
I have nothing to protect anymore, no foundation to erict to build myself or to defend myself; now the fortress has imploded from the inside... letting escape a wisp of gentleness, tempered with humility, because no, there's really nothing that I know... and now I await, my beloved Father, for you to show All to me...
I do not know how to love, but I acknowledge that I am love.
I do not know how to join, but I acknowledge that I am not separate, that We are One.
I don't know how to walk, talk, sing, play, dance, Be with You ... But I have great confidence that you will show me, again and again, with Thy Fatherly Patience, so proud and so happy of this wise choice to stop denying myself My Right to reap the Rewards that are Yours and which you have made a gift to us, because we are Your beloved Son, that we never left, that you've always loved, whatever seemed to happen in this world we have created.
I return; I want to. I want You, You and nothing else, Thee before all else...
I give you everything, because there is nothing that I would keep... This life is Yours, because in You I choose to remain... and always, always to remember that I never left You, My beloved father.
Amen
Armelle
Translated from French by our Friend Andy, I am so grateful!!!!!!!!!
We're back from seeing Avatar, and my heart is burning with intense Love of recognition.
Yes, it's You I want, My Father, and Thee alone.
Above all my Brothers, it is You whom I choose. Nothing in this world is worth what you offer me every moment when I choose to remember... So instead, I focus on not forgetting... I am not this body, I am not this human, I am not this woman, I'm not this girl, was not that mother, this therapist, am not this wife , this sister, or this aunt, godmother, this friend... I am none of these specific functions, because what I am is far too big to be contained in any role or function whatsoever. Nothing in this world has any value anymore. I want only You. I give You everything, for nothing is more worth than the Kingdom, the memory of what I've always been. There's nothing that I want to keep, to which I still cling in resistance. I've done it enough, and look where I am today... I had amnesia for so long, too long for what seems to be time. Today I only want to remember, to wake up... Stop the Sleeping Beauty story... Prince Charming has arrived, and today it is through You and You alone that I want to love him. For there is no Love but Yours, no strength but Yours and not even any other Life but with You.
In Thee, I live, my beloved Father. In You, I simply exist. Because You are, and as You Are, I Am. Nothing more or nothing else is needed, just simply To Be. ...
That is what I choose ...
There is nothing in this world of sufficient value to make me want to believe again I'm separated from Thee. I give up my weapons that maintained this belief; I have no more strength, no more tears to shed in seeking to exist, to be seen, recognized, loved... I wave the white flag; I remove my armor, and I return, naked, shining like a worm, to the house of my loving Father, Who has always been waiting for me.
I have nothing to protect anymore, no foundation to erict to build myself or to defend myself; now the fortress has imploded from the inside... letting escape a wisp of gentleness, tempered with humility, because no, there's really nothing that I know... and now I await, my beloved Father, for you to show All to me...
I do not know how to love, but I acknowledge that I am love.
I do not know how to join, but I acknowledge that I am not separate, that We are One.
I don't know how to walk, talk, sing, play, dance, Be with You ... But I have great confidence that you will show me, again and again, with Thy Fatherly Patience, so proud and so happy of this wise choice to stop denying myself My Right to reap the Rewards that are Yours and which you have made a gift to us, because we are Your beloved Son, that we never left, that you've always loved, whatever seemed to happen in this world we have created.
I return; I want to. I want You, You and nothing else, Thee before all else...
I give you everything, because there is nothing that I would keep... This life is Yours, because in You I choose to remain... and always, always to remember that I never left You, My beloved father.
Amen
Armelle
Translated from French by our Friend Andy, I am so grateful!!!!!!!!!
Allowing Truth to reveal Itself
Erik: Today an important realization is dawning in my awareness again; one that I've heard before but that is so deep, so profound, and so paradigm-shattering that it inevitably gets wiped out of awareness by the ego and needs constant reminding of. That realization which I'm having again now is this:
Truth, God, Reality, Light, or whatever you want to call It... cannot be found by seeking after It. Truth cannot be discovered by seeking for it; It can only be discovered by allowing It to seek and find us.
The reason for this is because the "I" which the false self cannot find the Truth. The "I" will never find the Truth, because the "I" and the Truth cannot co-exist. They are mutually exclusive. In the experience of Pure Awareness of Truth which is non-dualistic, there is no "I". And so as long as "I" am doing things in order to discover the Truth, the Truth will continue to seem hidden.
It would be like someone running around their house searching for their head. They might run all over the house, searching everywhere they can possibly think of to find their head. What a frantic search it would be, thinking that they'd lost their head! And yet at some point they would eventually get exhausted from the frantic search, terrified at the prospect of giving up and living without a head, but yet becoming hopelessly aware that their search was futile. They would sit down on the couch, surrender to their seemingly hopeless situation, go through all the emotions of despair and self-loathing, and then finally... after having given up all hope, they'd pop through the final layer of emotion and simply become Present. At this point, the awareness of their head would finally reveal itself to them. They'd begin to FEEL their head... and know that it was never lost.
In summary, let God reveal Himself to you. The Holy Spirit knows how afraid you are and
yet knows that full awareness of God is the only thing that you ever really want. You think you still want other things, but you are mistaken. Everything you seek for in the world are attempts to find replacements for the Peace of Mind you believe you've thrown away and lost forever.
Stop searching outside. The Truth is Everywhere, and so you cannot find it by looking in one particular place or another. It is not in any one particular place, person, or "favorable" situation. It is Everywhere and can only reveal Itself to you when you stop seeking for It, and invite It to reveal Itself to you now. Why wait? Eternal Peace is available now. Simply ask... and you will receive.
Love,
Erik
Truth, God, Reality, Light, or whatever you want to call It... cannot be found by seeking after It. Truth cannot be discovered by seeking for it; It can only be discovered by allowing It to seek and find us.
The reason for this is because the "I" which the false self cannot find the Truth. The "I" will never find the Truth, because the "I" and the Truth cannot co-exist. They are mutually exclusive. In the experience of Pure Awareness of Truth which is non-dualistic, there is no "I". And so as long as "I" am doing things in order to discover the Truth, the Truth will continue to seem hidden.
It would be like someone running around their house searching for their head. They might run all over the house, searching everywhere they can possibly think of to find their head. What a frantic search it would be, thinking that they'd lost their head! And yet at some point they would eventually get exhausted from the frantic search, terrified at the prospect of giving up and living without a head, but yet becoming hopelessly aware that their search was futile. They would sit down on the couch, surrender to their seemingly hopeless situation, go through all the emotions of despair and self-loathing, and then finally... after having given up all hope, they'd pop through the final layer of emotion and simply become Present. At this point, the awareness of their head would finally reveal itself to them. They'd begin to FEEL their head... and know that it was never lost.
In summary, let God reveal Himself to you. The Holy Spirit knows how afraid you are and
yet knows that full awareness of God is the only thing that you ever really want. You think you still want other things, but you are mistaken. Everything you seek for in the world are attempts to find replacements for the Peace of Mind you believe you've thrown away and lost forever.
Stop searching outside. The Truth is Everywhere, and so you cannot find it by looking in one particular place or another. It is not in any one particular place, person, or "favorable" situation. It is Everywhere and can only reveal Itself to you when you stop seeking for It, and invite It to reveal Itself to you now. Why wait? Eternal Peace is available now. Simply ask... and you will receive.
Love,
Erik
Message of February 3rd
My very dear Brothers,
Throw down your arms, drop your shields, for the war is over. There
is nothing to resist; the time for surrender has sounded. The
illusion is unmasked. The meaningless is seen as such, and hiding is
no longer possible. Why would you want to, since the rain has stopped
falling and the storm has passed? The sun's rays pierce the sky and
gently warm my beloved Children. Come, it's time to return, you've
played enough, you've lost yourself the better to find yourself. I
love You My Sons, who united are only One. The Revered One that I
never gave up. We are always united by a Love that never runs dry.
For it is our Being and our Light that shines. Your Father longs for
you, because without You He cannot be whole. Only One is missing, and
He is destitute. So, All of You, Worthy Son of Your Father, return
into your Being. Stop searching, be.
I Love You My Dear Brothers...
Translation made by our Friend Andy, thank you sooooooooo much!
Love
Armelle
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