...

I wake up, still in that same state, this same constency... as if the mind was expanding, as if there was no thought, as if I don't know anything anymore... what a lightness, Happiness...

At the breakfast, we are all there, and I am just present, and in the same time I have the impression that « I » am not there... I don't have anything to say. I just sit at the table, in the presence. Really strong. No thought. I am looking at the mountains in front of me, and... I see them... just that, what IS, so simply...

When it's time to leave to go to the market, I feel being a bit weak, and I need to sit, I will almost fall apart. I feel I should better stay here and rest, it's as if there is something that wants to emerge... but I really want to go to the market... fruits, vegetables, people, colors... the excitation of the little girl is there.. So I go with Bonnie and Geoff.

I am really silent today. No need for talking. In the car, I realize that I am Love with everything... trees, flowers, colors of the houses, as if it was the first time that I see it, as if I had not seen anything until now... people... every person I see in the street, although we are in the car, driving, I feel a so deep love.. wow, wonderful, so huge! And it's like this for everything... I have the impression that everything is me... Or there is no « me » and just everything...

At the market, I am still in that, an very intense love. Being there, but not there... as if something far much bigger than « me » is there.. (hard to explain really what I feel) This love for everybody is so strong. May be even too strong, in once. Again, I have the impression I'll fall apart, I'll leave. As if all what I am living is so strong that the mind cannot stand it. It's as if I was going into transe.. I sit on the sidewalk, and the body starts to move by itself. I am looking to what is happening. It's as if the mind is releasing. I just stay present to what is, to let what is be, not resisting to anything, just being there, with that. And it's seems crazy... I feel so much at peace, and happy too... as if a new door was opening. I have to stop several times on the way back to the car! Finally I found myself laying down on a sidewalk, legs hold by Ricardo, a very nice guy, that brought me a glass of ice, gave me his hat to have some shadow, and just tells me to relax, take the time, just let go, everything's ok... « oh yeah, everything's ok... even more than ok... so wonderful... I am so happy!! » I feel so good, completely taken care by the presence, as if I was in the arms of God, in the All... I am so happy... surrounded, being in a so deep peace, a so deep love... That's all there is..

After a nap, I give the paltalk. I am still in that deep peace, wonderful.So true, talking about the concept of Armelle, being naked, talking about the way the spiritual ego is working for me, all those stories of the last days, weekd... so powerful.

Once again, I realize deeper, how the words coming from the heaviness, the … of the other day, with Walter and Don, are so powerful, and have a lot of sense...
« accept being there, accept being on earth. Stop running... » I hear them now, today. I understand them. Accept, just accept. Let go the attachment to the story. Stop to tell you stories about the story, stop seeking again and again, still farther, still something else, just STOP... et look... it's already there.. here is what I am hearing today, here is what I am living today... pure happiness...

I also found myself telling the story of the wave when I went to bathe, the final afternoon before leaving Dominical. And in that moment, I grasped the full dimension of this moment of my entrance into the sea and my rising on this wave, super high and mighty that whipped me and made me back up it was so strong. That day, she had "cleaned," washed all these stories of the past, brought them into the here and now ... Today, as I tell it, tears come, my throat tightens, my voice is lower, my emotion is strong ... and if that was it? And if it was just that? Life that has, itself, "hit" me full in the body, woken me up, and reminded me of the presence of Now, which is all that Is... And if it was Life, disguised as a wave ...? Silence, I am touched ...

Later in the day, I was receiving a massage, and as I was still in that so deep love state, including everything, it was as if I was « feeling » the mountain, as the person who was giving the massage. As if everything was « me », in « me ». Hard really to explain, put words on it. Still being in that very deep wholeness...

I was watching all that closer... and I noticed that evey time I was thinking about that, as a way of capturing it, of fixing it to describe it, I wasn't in that, as if it was going away. But really, I had put thought again on that instead of just being... Everything. I was asking again by that simple thought, to be separated again. Then I had the impression that really we are always in that « state », as soon as we stop thinking, in this present moment, where Everything is, which is pure Love for everything. And as soon as there is a passing thought, personality comes back at the first plan... here ic how I would describe it.

I am in that deep peace, and watch what's happening... There is silent inside... I am the silent, now! Mmm...

Armelle