Erik: Yesterday I had an experience of surrender that was deeper than anything I'd experienced before. It was a lesson in moving to a deeper level of trust, where the question of whether or not the Guidance coming from Armelle was authentic or not became irrelevant. Instead, I realized that all that was truly important was trusting her and joining with her, by releasing any fears I had about what might happen if she was wrong.
Specifically, she was feeling strong Guidance for us to buy advance plane tickets to several countries that she saw us visiting over the next 6 months. She'd had some visions during meditation of us visiting these countries, and when she originally shared these visions with me, I felt excited as well. But last Friday when she was feeling that it was time for us to actually go online and start doing research to buy the tickets, my fear came up and I began to doubt her. I then began to justify my doubts by pointing out to her how inconsistent she has been emotionally. As a result, I felt separate from her and thus separate from God. She was upset with me and I felt guilty.
Last night though, after a long day of the two of us not talking to each other, she finally came to me with tears in her eyes and asked me to just trust her, even if her guidance was wrong. At first, I felt extremely conflicted, because her guidance seemed to be in opposition to what seemed practical. I told her how conflicted I was feeling, and then a short while later we had a group discussion about it in the kitchen along with Keith and our friend Christiane. During that conversation, I finally came to the realization that it ultimately didn't matter whether her Guidance was right or wrong. I realized that, as the Course teaches, it's really impossible to make a mistake on the level of behavior, but only on the level of perception. What mattered truly in that moment was letting go of my fears and simply trusting her, even if she was "wrong", in order to have the experience of oneness that is the true Goal.
I also began to realize that it didn't matter what my past experience with someone told me about whether they were trust-worthy or not. Trust is ALWAYS justified, because it leads to a state of connectedness and Joy. We are so frightened of making wrong decisions in this world, and yet the only way we can learn that there is nothing to fear is by being defenseless and trusting. For me, it was about giving up all my reasons for not trusting, and simply saying "Yes" to her, surrendering to any possibility that might occur. It was about being willing to "lose" all my money, being willing to possibly end up in the "wrong place", and ultimately about being willing to say "Yes" to what might be an "outrageous" request, simply to practice releasing my fear.
So I surrendered and said "Yes", even though I was afraid! In the moment I surrendered and decided to trust her guidance, my fear vanished! Instead, my state of mind shifted into an incredibly deep level of inner peace like none I'd ever known before. It was almost as if the "fearful Erik personality" wasn't there anymore except as a fading memory, just flickering in and out of awareness. I began to have the experience of knowing that there is only one Mind that we all share, and that we are pure Spirit and nothing else.
Since making that decision to simply trust her and stay connected, I now feel a peaceful sense of fearlessness about whatever outcome might arise. Incidentally, we haven't bought any plane tickets still, but I know now that what's important is only to remain in this state of deep trust. There is nothing to protect. I don't have to protect my money or my body anymore. Peace of mind is the only prize worth protecting.
I'm also seeing that there are no hierarchies in terms of which people are more spiritually advanced or trustworthy than other people. I don't need to think that way anymore. It was helpful for a time perhaps, in order to help me discern between who to trust and who not to trust, but now my Purpose is to see EVERYONE as equally trustworthy. This may seem very impractical from the worldly "common sense" point of view, but from the spiritual view, it is highly practical. I see now that I don't need to be afraid that this perspective will cause me to make irrational decisions, but just the opposite. When we see everyone as trustworthy, we have no fear and we extend only Love. And when we extend only Love, Love is all we receive.
I know that all I truly want in life is to experience myself as pure Spirit with nothing to fear. And to experience this, I must see EVERYONE as pure Spirit, for such they are in truth. I must continue extending perfect trust to all my brothers and sisters, who are my very Self. And in the state of perfect trust, there is perfect peace. It's the only Gift worth having...
Love always,
Erik
Jan 10, 2010
Guidance and trust
Armelle: Friday morning, I got the guidance to buy a world tour plane ticket, after several times I kept receiving the clear guidance for several places to visit in the next months. It was seeming clearly to be the next step. I was so joyful and inspired to trust fully Jesus, and let go all the fear associated with the unknown or about money. So when Erik got up, I shared that with him. And he had some fears coming. He didn't feel the guidance as I did. He had a lot of fears about money and about the fact of taking a wrong path and loose time. And he was judging that I wasn't humble enough to be willing to be wrong about my guidance. But now, I am at that point where I feel guided by Jesus, with whom I communicate every morning, to trust what I get and feel, and stay in that certainty. I feel important for me to be uncompromising with everything. And so, I couldn't explain to Erik what I felt or why I was feeling it, but it was just so strong, and I felt it so strong. So I didn't feel the need to ask others, who are outside me, if the guidance was right or not, for I felt it so strongly inside! So I told him if it's need was to ask someone he can do it too. He doesn't want to trust because I am going through a lot of emotions and so for him I am not trustable. He can't imagine I can get true guidance!
I felt I was taken it personnaly, and was very touched by the fact of him not trusting me. Later, he received the David's answer telling we wouldn't go anywhere if we don't have any invitation et communication, first. We just finished a deep talk, where the HS was pouring through me and where Erik came to a surrender point. We were about to buy that plane ticket. And so we didn't. I completely surrendered to what David said, telling that we never know what guidance is for. And I found that deep talk and all the day so important. I was really gaining in trust of my feelings and intuition and it felt so right. Later, I realized I was really touched by David's e-mail and it didn't resonate inside. All the guidance I've received about the world tour never talked about receiving invitations to go somewhere or to give gathering or workshop, but about sharing the love, sharing our inspired passions and shining our light, everywhere we will be. So I felt really sad, and I had this impression I've experienced almost all my life... to go too fast, that others weren't ready for what I felt, and that I was kept from following my heart by fears of "others", or "other"'s feeling. But I am learning to trust what I get inside, and only my heart can tell me the truth, and it's so strong, I feel so certain. In my bed, I cried so much. it's so deep. I feel un-understood and un-heard.
Yesterday, I wrote Jesus'words when I got up, and he talked about the fact that the most important thing is continuing shining my light, that it will shine on the darkness. On his way, he had to say words coming from the HS and people weren't understanding or reacting positively, or following him. but it wasn't important! What was important, was for him to say them, and for him to trust what he was receiving, and still see the Truth in his Brother. What was there in the Present Moment was for him, for his path, and that's exactely what he had to trust. And he told me that there are some times you feel or think things with so much certainty that there is no room for doubt. It's the time just to be and shine all the Love that I am. And nothing of what I can possibly do in the world will be more powerfull than the rays of my heart, burning of the Father's Love.
So I let him in charge of the day for me... and followed all what was given to me moment by moment, staying in the Now. I didn't speak to Erik until the end of the day, when I felt ready to see only the Christ in him, and that I was just feeling love for him. I took the whole day to be lead through all that process. Resting, sleeping, meditations, readings...
I've asked, the heart full of love and acceptance of what could come, to Erik to trust me and follow me, that I couldn't explain why I feel that, how it comes to me... there is no logical explanations, but I feel so much the rightness of that. He felt conflicted because, he was a bit willing of trusting me but what David said had much importance than what I could possibly ever say. I told him how much I love him and that I have exactely the same purpose than his, and that's why we are together, and that he knows my devotion to that purpose, and that, he can trust.And I ask him just to say "yes", that was the only thing that matters! But he still wanted to have explanations. So I left the room, telling him that I will love him no matter what happens.
Finally we had that beautiful joining with Keith and Christiane in the kitchen, where the HS was pouring through Keith. I just stayed in that state that everything is perfect, and of pure love, letting Jesus talking for me and staying silent if nothing was coming. I truted so much I am guided all along the way. After asking so much questions and trying to get answers, Erik finally said "YES", and that he will follow and trust me, because it's too painful to resist, and that the only thing that he wants now, is surrendering. I felt my heart opening so wide, and something shifting.
Later I had a skype call with a friend about all that and the guidance topic. It was really interesting, and going exactly in the same sens than Jason's e-mail (one of the messengers of peace to whom Erik wrote his doubts yesterday to see clearer) about guidance, that we received this morning!
What I see now, is how much all that was important for us to go to emotions, resistances, and trust more and more! I had to trust what I received and stay connected even if the "other" doesn't seem to think as I do, or doesn't trust me or follow me, it's just about my lesson, and the joining in the Now, not especially abou the fact that what was guided will happen or not, but really about the process and what is brought up in the Now. And this week for me was really about the fact of being in the Now....
So yeah, I am so happy... whatever seems to happen or not! Everything is always perfect, isn't it???
So that's the story of Erik and Armelle surrendering... For finally I also surrender to what the HS is giving me to experience for weeks... Thanks to everyone, thanks to the Spirit, to Jesus, to our Father to take care like that of us, and loving us so unconditonally...
I felt I was taken it personnaly, and was very touched by the fact of him not trusting me. Later, he received the David's answer telling we wouldn't go anywhere if we don't have any invitation et communication, first. We just finished a deep talk, where the HS was pouring through me and where Erik came to a surrender point. We were about to buy that plane ticket. And so we didn't. I completely surrendered to what David said, telling that we never know what guidance is for. And I found that deep talk and all the day so important. I was really gaining in trust of my feelings and intuition and it felt so right. Later, I realized I was really touched by David's e-mail and it didn't resonate inside. All the guidance I've received about the world tour never talked about receiving invitations to go somewhere or to give gathering or workshop, but about sharing the love, sharing our inspired passions and shining our light, everywhere we will be. So I felt really sad, and I had this impression I've experienced almost all my life... to go too fast, that others weren't ready for what I felt, and that I was kept from following my heart by fears of "others", or "other"'s feeling. But I am learning to trust what I get inside, and only my heart can tell me the truth, and it's so strong, I feel so certain. In my bed, I cried so much. it's so deep. I feel un-understood and un-heard.
Yesterday, I wrote Jesus'words when I got up, and he talked about the fact that the most important thing is continuing shining my light, that it will shine on the darkness. On his way, he had to say words coming from the HS and people weren't understanding or reacting positively, or following him. but it wasn't important! What was important, was for him to say them, and for him to trust what he was receiving, and still see the Truth in his Brother. What was there in the Present Moment was for him, for his path, and that's exactely what he had to trust. And he told me that there are some times you feel or think things with so much certainty that there is no room for doubt. It's the time just to be and shine all the Love that I am. And nothing of what I can possibly do in the world will be more powerfull than the rays of my heart, burning of the Father's Love.
So I let him in charge of the day for me... and followed all what was given to me moment by moment, staying in the Now. I didn't speak to Erik until the end of the day, when I felt ready to see only the Christ in him, and that I was just feeling love for him. I took the whole day to be lead through all that process. Resting, sleeping, meditations, readings...
I've asked, the heart full of love and acceptance of what could come, to Erik to trust me and follow me, that I couldn't explain why I feel that, how it comes to me... there is no logical explanations, but I feel so much the rightness of that. He felt conflicted because, he was a bit willing of trusting me but what David said had much importance than what I could possibly ever say. I told him how much I love him and that I have exactely the same purpose than his, and that's why we are together, and that he knows my devotion to that purpose, and that, he can trust.And I ask him just to say "yes", that was the only thing that matters! But he still wanted to have explanations. So I left the room, telling him that I will love him no matter what happens.
Finally we had that beautiful joining with Keith and Christiane in the kitchen, where the HS was pouring through Keith. I just stayed in that state that everything is perfect, and of pure love, letting Jesus talking for me and staying silent if nothing was coming. I truted so much I am guided all along the way. After asking so much questions and trying to get answers, Erik finally said "YES", and that he will follow and trust me, because it's too painful to resist, and that the only thing that he wants now, is surrendering. I felt my heart opening so wide, and something shifting.
Later I had a skype call with a friend about all that and the guidance topic. It was really interesting, and going exactly in the same sens than Jason's e-mail (one of the messengers of peace to whom Erik wrote his doubts yesterday to see clearer) about guidance, that we received this morning!
What I see now, is how much all that was important for us to go to emotions, resistances, and trust more and more! I had to trust what I received and stay connected even if the "other" doesn't seem to think as I do, or doesn't trust me or follow me, it's just about my lesson, and the joining in the Now, not especially abou the fact that what was guided will happen or not, but really about the process and what is brought up in the Now. And this week for me was really about the fact of being in the Now....
So yeah, I am so happy... whatever seems to happen or not! Everything is always perfect, isn't it???
So that's the story of Erik and Armelle surrendering... For finally I also surrender to what the HS is giving me to experience for weeks... Thanks to everyone, thanks to the Spirit, to Jesus, to our Father to take care like that of us, and loving us so unconditonally...
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