As some of you may already know, Armelle and I have applied for her to get a Visa for permanent residency in the US (also known as a "green card") since we have been married last October. The process takes several months, and we are now at the stage where there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be filled out, in a very detailed and precise fashion, with no mistakes whatsoever. Since English is my first language and not Armelle's, I've been the one in charge of reading all the fine print and making sure that we are doing everything properly for the U.S. government.
In the past, things like this (i.e. doing my taxes)have felt very stressful, and now with this current undertaking, I sometimes am tempted to fall back into old patterns of thinking about it which trigger that same stress. Fortunately, the Course has taught me a new way of thinking which can be applied to absolutely anything in life in order to experience a sense of peace and flow.
What I've seen is that the stress only comes when I am trying to rely on myself alone to get the job done. But when I put the Holy Spirit in charge, and completely give up ALL of my ideas about how I think I should do things (easier said than done), then things ALWAYS flow FAR more smoothly.
In this case, with the immigration paperwork for Armelle, I've been feeling some stress lately from thinking that I need to get it done as quickly as possible, so that Armelle can immigrate as soon as possible. But whenever I make a goal out of anything other than the Peace of God (i.e. a quick immigration time) then it is impossible to experience true inner peace. As the Course teaches in so many words, true inner peace (the Peace of God) can ONLY be experienced when it is the only goal we hold in our minds. As soon as ANY worldly goal enters our mind, it blots out God from our awareness, and thus we cut ourselves off from the Source of true Strength.
So today, I've committed myself to simply "sitting at the feet" of the Holy Spirit to wait for my next instruction. I trust that He has everyone's best interest at heart, and will inform me of exactly what I am to do next regarding all this paperwork, exactly when I am supposed to do it. In this way, I am relieved of the burden of trying to decide everything using my limited intellect (very stressful)!
And even if I only hear the Holy Spirit a small fraction of the time such that I am only able to hear instructions for one small task per day, that's okay. Everything will still get done far more gracefully and smoothly than if I had "muscled through it" and tried to do everything as quickly as possible using my own mind alone. The Holy Spirit has wisdom that is far greater than my own, with a bird's eye view of the entire script of time and space, so only He can Guide me toward exactly what will be helpful at each step of the way.
And even if I fall into the trap of following my ego for a while and seem to get "off track" with a project, the Holy Spirit is like a GPS system in a car - it can always be "reset" to give you the fastest path to where you're going, even if you've missed some of its prior directions and have gotten "lost". In truth, we are never lost. We are just sometimes taking a longer pathway back to the awareness of God's Presence, which is the only Goal that matters. Everything else in this world is just a "backdrop", or a context for training the mind to listen more and more to only the Holy Spirit.
So today I trust Him completely. I trust that even though my fear sometimes leads me to take foolish actions which are hurried and awkward, I can't ever make a "fatal" mistake in truth. What I am is eternal, and I can never die. Whether Armelle gets her Visa or not, and when, ultimately doesn't matter at all. It is just a dream which is being used now for the sole Purpose of healing the mind. And so with God being my only Goal now, a Goal whose attainment is inevitable, there is no justification for anything but total peace and relaxation!
Both my healing AND the affairs of the my "personal" world are completely in the Hands of the Holy Spirit, and my job is merely to trust, listen, and follow His instructions to me. Working for Him is the most Joyful job in the world! It is my sole function, my sole "career", and my sole means of "income" (which in truth is only Love, but Which can appear symbolically as money, food, shelter, etc..). Everything is offered to me freely if I will but trust, listen, and follow... and all things work together for Good. Amen!
Love,
Erik
