Big Lesson in True Forgiveness and Undoing Beliefs

Saturday, February 20

I woke up super early, not wanting to miss the bus again. It felt right for me to leave today. I had guidance that Erik getting his ticket for here next Monday, March 1^st, and also to tell Don that he had a very special assignment for his mind training, which was the conference and that it should really be his priority. So I shared it with him.

I left again. At 6:10 I told Nubia it was time to go, but she said no, we still had 10 minutes. I felt it was time to go, but I followed her. She wanted us all pray together for me before I left. Which we did.

When we were in the alley leading to the road where the bus stops, I saw one pass. She said no, it wasn’t that one, but I felt it was. She waited with me until 7:20 and no other bus went by! I blamed myself for not having listened again, and having missed it again. She said that the next one was at 9:00 and that I would have to transfer. Since they are never on time here, I decided to wait there on the road, to be sure not to miss this time. I must confess that I was pretty upset. So I forgave and released all this to the Holy Spirit and then I read again my day's lesson, review the first five, then I meditated on "I am sustained by the love of God."

As Nubia told me that many people were going to go to Quepos, where I should take another bus, maybe someone will stop to pick me up. I decided not to hitchhike at all and simply wait for the bus. Then I prayed, telling the Holy Spirit that if there was one person that was good for me, and for the person I meet, the car only had to stop there, without me doing anything. And there were two in 2 minutes. I didn’t go see the first and the second guy went to Quepos! Ok, so I said it was sent, all confident, I climbed in.

At one point the guy started to go super fast. So I started thinking, “I love you my Brother, you're perfect as you are. I am you and you are me,” then he fussed with his shoe and braked suddenly putting the car on the side of the road and aimed a strike at me, snatching my hand bag and told me "Now, go." it was really crazy. I had the impression of being in a movie; I wondered what was going on, it was like watching a scene. Then I got scared. And I didn’t move, I stayed there and I started to say "I love you my brother, you're perfect as you are."

In my bag, there was my Course and it's really the only thing I wanted and he could take everything but my course or my passport. So I told him "Wait, my book, I want my book" and I reached out my hand to open my bag and take it, I kept repeating and I felt a deep calm underneath and a little fear to the surface. I absolutely did not understand what happened. I took my bag; he let me do it. I asked him what he wanted; he told me the money. I then opened my bag and went into the pocket, taking care to leave enough for me to catch my bus and live the next week and give him enough so he would be calm and not insist. I kept repeated the same words. When I gave him money, he said " Now go. " I wanted to open the seat to take my backpack from the backseat, he said "no, go," and I said "These are my clothes, I need my clothes,” I got back in the car to not to let him go and only got out once I had my backpack in my hands. I then shut the door and he left.

During all this, it was as if time stopped, I felt he was waiting quietly for me to give him the money, doing nothing, no threats, letting me do it, and what's crazy is that once I started to repeat that phrase, I hardly saw him and his knife. It was not me, a force beyond anything that I could be took control of the situation, for sure. It was spirit. It really was as if I was watching what was happening and yet in acting, but with a detachment such that I wasn’t fearful, I felt it was there, I saw it on the surface, even heard my voice tremble a little for a moment, but that's all! I don’t know what happened, but it was hyper powerful! Once gone, I found myself on the sidewalk far from the bus stop, a little lost, wondering what had just happened. I think I understood nothing... There I am on the sidewalk with my backpack on my back and the other around my neck. I have everything, and I'm here! Not knowing what to do, I walked in the opposite direction to return to the bus stop or Nubia’s for a moment before taking another bus to find Louis.

I felt the ego getting ready to strike and strike hard. Thoughts like, "because you did that, because you wanted to decide for yourself, because you did not listen, because you followed the ego.." and immediately I said "STOP. NO, you won’t get me! That is exactly what the ego wants me to think, that I was guilty, there I did something wrong and therefore I was punished! But no, there's no question, I will not fall into his trap. Guilt does not exist, unless I want to believe it, so there isn’t any! And then I stayed with the Holy Spirit, to contemplate it all. I was so confident that this situation was given to me as I had asked. My brother needed help, he thought he needed money, and I was practicing I was sustained by the love of God; so it was part of my learning. I helped him by giving him money, it's almost as if I asked him what I could do for him. In any case, even if on the surface, I felt a little lost, I felt above all really happy to have Given, to have helped my brother as The Holy Spirit wanted. I also practiced forgiveness because I felt fear still present.

I met Don and Walter arrived on the road, I told them the story. And I said that in any case I would take this bus, I felt I had to leave today and that wasn’t going to stop me. I had already missed the morning one because I had not listened, so this time I listened. Don shared with me what he felt and that I wanted at any price to go there, but everything seemed to go in the direction that I stay and that's what he felt. I told him that I felt I wasn’t there for sightseeing and I going left and right, but to serve and that I felt that I must go now. So I took the bus. I read "The Song of the Prayer” and was practicing forgiveness at the same time to remove any traces of fear still there. But I felt the fear was still present. I then told myself it had nothing to do with what had happened or anything else. The fear is only there if I choose the ego, so I must not be on the right track, maybe Don was right. So I got off the bus, crossed the road, and headed in the other direction. I went to join them at the restaurant bar near the beach where there was Internet. After talking with Don, he contacted Louis to tell him what I felt and that I was not coming to join him at the sanctuary, but rather on the 25^th when he comes back from his friends house. Everything was perfect.

I then looked at my emails and saw that Bonnie had said she was waiting with great pleasure for me today. So I contacted her by Skype, and everything was put in place super easily, naturally. Even though Don told me that I was probably avoiding experiencing something that I was supposed to experience there. But I felt that my guidance was to leave, and the invitation from Bonnie was strong, intending to pick me up at the bus station, and quite aware that I had almost no money for the moment. She also told me she would introduce me to her network and that there were upcoming events.. perfect!

I felt that I was a bit afraid to go to Quepos, afraid to meet that guy, and it fell out super well; the bus going to San Jose went on another road, an hour and a half later.

I went half an hour early to stop this time! And despite everything I missed it. It was not until 1:30 that I asked people if they were going to San Isidro and they told me that the bus had already left long ago. Then I stayed, I felt that another bus would pass and anyway I had nothing else to do! And at 2:00 a direct bus to San Jose passing through Quepos arrived! Great, even better, because it allowed me to forgive fear also, marvelous.

Throughout the trip I watched my thoughts, my fears, and my beliefs. I read several whole chapters of the Course. I wrote everything that came to me. I did a forgiveness process with that Brother where I really felt strong love, it was full of light. Afterwards I noticed I had transferred his guilt onto all the Costa Rican men getting on this bus, because then I felt fear. I was afraid they'd steal or be aggressive or want to rape me... So I looked very closely at all these beliefs and I got the fact that I'm afraid of men, that I think you can’t trust them, that they only think about sex, and that they’re dangerous. Despite everything the fear remained. I then saw all the anger I had against men too. And necessarily how I identified myself with being a woman.

It was wonderful. Because I was sitting frightened almost all the way because men were sitting beside me; I turned my head and watched my neighbor. He also looked at me and smiled, and I felt my heart open again. I was not scared.

Bonnie was waiting at the bus exit, just playful. We went to eat pizza with Geoff, who lives with her too. She asked me what had happened these days. So I told her and she said "Well that’s it, you are really living the Course" and then all the judgments on me over this event and how I tried to provoke God fell away! Everything cleared up ...

Bonnie told me about a German couple traveling and living in Divine Providence who were come to share their teachings on the 2^nd and 3^rd of March and that I could stay where they staying as well. I then felt, mmmh that's perhaps why I received the guidance that Erik takes his flight on March 1^st. A beautiful meeting in perspective ... we'll see!

February 21

With everything that has happened in recent days and especially yesterday, today I read in the Course, I think, that the ego does not exist. A wonderful reminder for me, as I feel called to go towards that. There is no ego and therefore not even a choice to make... guidance is guidance... I chose to experience either love or a cry for love. Either I extend the Gifts of God, or I forgive, and it simplifies the process even more... Guilt is not the point! And I come to the book by David I translate "Purpose is the Only Choice,” there is no choice to make, because the ego does not exist! And hop guilt out the window, hop!

And I realize in rereading what I wrote yesterday, how I analyzed everything I experienced. And I realize that this is no longer useful, I can only continue to question my beliefs and bring the ego’s trick to light and recognize that it doesn’t exist, that all that doesn’t exist! Waw, what a giant step. It’s crazy!

Today I stayed at home, at the top of the hill with a wonderful view over the city, resting, writing. A small jump in the pool to cool off a little siesta. I felt very strong guidance to rest this morning and give my Paltalk as expected. Bonnie, Geoff and Leslie, who live in this big house all left with other friends to a great picnic in a beautiful place apparently, but I do not feel called there, although I would have been glad to meet all those beautiful people. Bonnie encouraged me to follow what I feel, remembering me that everything is in Divine Order and therefore already orchestrated for us! Yeah...

So again, Holy Spirit, decide for God for me... and I blessed all my Brothers for all those forgiveness opportunities! Anyway, we always meet ourself, isn't it? There is nobody outside...

Love

Armelle

Translation made by Andy, thanks so much....

Getting rid of special relationships, unworthiness and ego traps

February 18

I feel so sad. It's really very deep. I am so afraid that Erik and I are separated forever. I feel so lost without him. I read his email this morning saying he’s going to a 5-day conference on sound, and I feel super bad. I think he's happier without me, that his life is more beautiful and happier without me. So what is happening now was orchestrated to keep us apart from one another and eventually separate us completely. I feel he will meet someone who is so much better than me and he will leave with her, thinking he will go further, faster and easier without me.

I'm really afraid of never seeing him again, that nothing is the same, he no longer loves me, he does not want me anymore, he met someone else so much better and he’s going to tell me he left me, or even just that he had an affair and that would give me the impression that I really did not matter to him, as soon as the opportunity for something else presents itself, he jumps on it because I am certainly not irreplaceable and he is even better without me, who causes so many problems, dramas, who has so many emotions and is unable to live fully, to be really happy and enjoy life ...

All that seems so real... I realize that all these thoughts come from the ego, and I judge myself as not being able to be happy and enjoy what is given to me here. But I don’t care where I am, how beautiful it is, it just doesn’t happen for me, it seems so difficult for me. To not be with Erik and even more to know that for him it is paradise, it is hell for me. I’d like to return to Belgium... I would feel so much better if I were in my environment, surrounded by people I know, where I am on familiar ground, not here where everything is unknown at each instant, where I seem to live with no security, where I never know what will happen, whether to stay or to move all the time. I don’t know what to do, where to go. Am I evil because I am the ego rather than the Holy Spirit or as David was saying in the discussion that I just heard... everything is always a problem of interpretation, never because of something happening in the world, on the screen, because that's just what the ego wants me to believe. That my discomfort, unhappiness stems from the fact of what I live, from my choices, from what is there and not there, but none of this is true. I'm so bad because I see the fact of not being with Erik as having left God, to no longer live in joy, to no longer feel safe, to not believe that he can love me because I'm not with him, and to tell me that my departure must also create a void in him, so he will seek to fill it. I feel the worst emotions coming back yet again in this deep sense of unworthiness and thus imagining that another opportunity to meet someone better, more suitable where he is now, while I am not able to get out of these ego games, someone who will let him move faster and be happier.

So I really put his present happiness and everything that happens in his life today, back on the fact that I am no longer there and thus more a burden or a brake on him.

I see myself also as a burden on Don and Walter, I don’t laugh, don’t have fun, don’t feel like doing anything. I am because I do not know what else to do, and that I think I have no other alternative and it's really painful. I don’t seem to get any guidance, and yet my day's lesson is "God’s voice speaks to me all through the day" so I don’t know what to do, I'm lost. And I feel stuck.

I feel really rejected from Erik’s life. He had an appointment with the immigration lawyer and I asked him to keep me updated and ask him some questions for me. And he didn’t even write personally to tell me what was going on with immigration, which speaks for itself. I learned the most from an email sent to Sarah and Thomas. I find it a little crazy, I have the impression of being nothing, of not being in his life, that he doesn’t feel concerned by the fact that it is about me, not even being updated on what the lawyer was very able to say! It's pretty hard for me to be in this position. I don’t understand, but I know that I’m suffering. I know it's because I choose a man rather than God, but I can’t get out of it, everything comes back the same every time I do my forgiveness lessons. I again really want to die... And yet, I would so like to be able to live, but I can’t do it!

I judge myself so for feeling that, I say to myself that's because I'm jealous, that I don’t have reason to be annoyed by how he acts, communicates, or doesn’t communicate. And at the same time, somewhere, in me, I feel that it is Spirit who speaks, and encourages me to communicate more. And again, it seems that this isn’t important to Erik.

I have the impression that he’s living his life tranquilly, without even wondering what's happening to me. I am no longer there, so he lives how he wants to live, without me. And something doesn’t seem fair in that. I judge myself as being dependent on him, and at the same time, I have the impression that what I feel is right, and not coming from the ego, that is really an invitation from Spirit to join us, that we have been invited to be together to undo the habits of the past, undo the masks, and we're together for healing, and not for acting as we did habitually.

Today, he’s spending the day with his father. That's really great, and in the same time I feel he is not thinking about eventually connecting with me, as he told me he wouldn't be much available the next either! It seems that several times when we were talking with David, he said that if we were separated, it was important to communicate every day, and Sarah Thomas did the same thing, and that is what gives me the impression that, quite simply, the link is cut; he lives his life on his side. Whereas it seems to me that this relationship is our priority! And that we have already spoken about this.

I also feel like I’m reliving my separation from Gauthier, my son, his death also... or just after, with Marvin, we had gone to the Seychelles, to his sister’s home, to change our spirits and it was hell for me again. No way to enjoy everything that was around me, no way to have fun, to be happy, it hurt so much to be without him, without my son, I felt so empty and worse than nothing without him.

And what I am reliving here, with Erik. I don’t understand, it has just happened like that ... fear of never seeing him again, of losing him. I have the impression that Spirit is if going to "take" him from me, that I'll never see him again. It's really very hard. It reminds me that I had lived through with Caroline in Paris, where I felt this same fear, not knowing where it could be coming from. I felt it was as if the Spirit will take him away from me! I can't really explain, it just came like that!

We’re always in motion, with our bags. I gave up knowing what we were doing, where we were going, not wanting to control anything and just trust. But this situation troubles me. To still be with my bag, not having a place to put myself, being on this beach and not able to go swimming. I feel stuck, not knowing where I am, imagining from the bus we took, being far from San Jose, and not at all sure that I'm on the right road. I felt that I would rather have stayed there, with Bonnie, a friend of Don that I met and super connected with, or go with Louis to the sanctuary as he had proposed, but as there was only one bed, I did not feel very comfortable. At the same time, I do not feel that what I’m experiencing here is right, it's more like I feel as if I had no choice. So I think about discernment... Am I following man or the Holy Spirit? And I feel that my guidance is to connect with Louis.

I’m cracking, I can’t do any more. I cry again and again. I'm exhausted. I explain what I went through to Don. Who says I must go back to the root of the evil to write a new message. He talked about his experience and that it was written in his mother’s womb that he was not wanted, and that by going back to that point, he was able to change the info. It spoke to me, because I always told I was an accident, so inevitably I did not feel wanted, not at the right place at the right time. And at the same time, I tell myself that the real issue is not there, because it’s never in the world. But I trust. I listen... He said he could do something with his friend, Walter, to help me get back to that moment, if I'm ready to let go! And how I'm ready ... and even willing to do anything the pain is so great.

In the evening we went to one of his friends. It was hard for me because I was not at all in the mood to meet someone, I wanted so much to stay quietly and cry all I had to cry that I was retaining.

It ended in going out anyway because it is too much for me to still keep. Nubia, the friend, did not look very happy. She told me that I must not cry that life is beautiful and God is good. She seems to want to do anything for me to stop, offering me all sorts of things. But no, I'm just super bad and I need to let go. Eventually I went to take a shower, and in the bathroom, she said "no problem in my house, okay?" Ok! What else could I say? I wasn’t at home.

I felt so bad not being allowed to express my emotions, what I was experiencing was so huge I found it hard to contain.

After the shower, I cracked, I could no longer hold back all that was there, ready and asking to come out. I didn’t get there anyway...

Walter and Don were with me to help me express everything I had experienced, what I felt, through one of their techniques. I felt that all that freed me a little. I felt more peaceful.

Exhausted by all these emotions, I went to bed early. The house had one room, so were all there. I had great difficulty falling asleep, I cried again, silently. I remembered all my fears, my thoughts. I'm in the dark. I heard the sounds of animals outside, it was hot, my mind ass so confused that everything was difficult. It is a house without windows, everything is open, there are just mosquito nets, and that we were in nature was the least one could say. All these noises frightened me, I felt like when I was little and I had all these nightmares, I would cry silently under my blankets, I was so scared. And I still had all these fears about Erik and our relationship.

I watched my thoughts and did my forgiveness process non stop. I feel I’m going to have to look at all this, it can’t continue.

At one point, I felt that my fear that he met someone else and had an affair had disappeared. I no longer felt worthless. Nothing to replace it, it was just gone.

Then the fear, irrational I'm well aware, but there at the moment of losing him, that the Holy Spirit “took” him from me, which intensified. I watched everything that happened in my mind. I saw that one fear had disappeared, and that another took its place and even bigger. I continued to forgive. I was not at peace, I couldn’t let go. Then the death of my son, the lack of him, my judgment of the life I lead today. The fact that I'm here, super bad, alone in the middle of nowhere and I do not know how to get out of there, I feel so trapped and so far from everything, and I’m also so scared to make the journey in reverse, because I don’t know it. I continue to forgive, again and again.

I think that took several hours, which seemed so long. To finally find a clear mind, feel love in my heart and close my eyes...



February 19

I got up, fit and happy. I realized that my fears were gone. I had like guidance to contact Bonnie, Don's friend and see if I can go to her house. Indeed, the connection with her was so strong; Erik had also sensed it when I had shared it with him. I spoke to Don and Walter this morning to tell them that I would contact Bonnie and go to San Jose. I didn’t feel I had to stay here. So everything worked out for me to go on the Internet with Nubia in a nearby village. But there was no wi-fi, and no microphone, so no way to make a phone call. I did enjoy being there to read my mail. We waited for Daniel, the son of Nubia who finished school at 10.30.

Erik replied to the email I wrote him yesterday where I briefly mentioned my experience here, and his email again put me in an unbelievable state. I didn’t think he was present, whatever his words, I felt they were empty. I felt so far away and so alone, it was horrible. Again, I plunged into and recontacted my fears. I decided to write him what was really happening for me at that moment, to tell him what I was thinking of doing... join Bonnie and Louis, and possibly return to Belgium too, where I would be surrounded by what I know! I feel that I wanted everything to go wonderfully well for him, while I'm not there because I put it on the fact that I am not there and he is certainly happier without me, and also so I want so much for him to be here and experience it all.

We went to Dominical, another village where we could have the wi-fi and then contact Bonnie. Along the way, I felt I wasn’t there but in my mind. I acknowledged I didn’t like the way I felt and wanted to see things differently. I spoke to Don; asked him how he saw what I was going through. He said he felt that I was at a turning point, and it is there because I am ready now and I can’t change anything. It has to come up and with everything that happened these days, it is there, ready to come out, I just have to decide to release it. Mmm.... interesting. In a moment, without me doing anything else but seeing the situation as it was, I was reminded the conversation with Don and also that it is always a matter of interpretation, and my mind completely shifted, and I am opening up, in my joy. Daniel offered to play with me and I let myself go in innocence and followed him.

When I got on the Internet, Bonnie wasn’t there, so I sent her an email. And Don told me that Louis was there. He thought he didn’t have Internet so I thought I wouldn’t be able to contact him and see with him if I could come where he was. I had the feeling that maybe I should go there. I contacted him and that happened wonderfully. I no longer felt any fear and therefore I felt like following this path and joining him. A bus was leaving in less than an hour. Great, everything was working out. Nubia proposed taking me to the bus stop, and I accepted with pleasure. So I said goodbye to everyone and went joyous and happy. Two buses passed, apparently it wasn’t those. We waited and none was arriving and the time was passed, and she ends by saying that it is not very safe to leave so late because I'd arrive after dark in San Jose and this is not really safe there, especially as I’d still need to take a taxi and then another bus to Puntarenas. Either I decided to listen and not force anything. And then she said "It's not me; it is God that you've heard,” though I hadn’t told her anything. Wonderful! On the way back, we went by another beach where she usually goes with his son. There was nobody there, it was great. I put on my bikini and threw myself into the water, what happiness. The waves were huge and powerful, I went in with confidence and joy, it made me a quite a fool. A good wholesale "cleansing" of everything that had happened. In the evening we began to dance, sing, it was really very cute and I saw what Sarah had told me... don’t connect with the stories because there’s nothing there, everything is in the mind and everything is in me. It was wonderful once again to join with her. I feel so inspired and back on track each time, she is so uncompromising. What I want... (and yet I realize that when I share with Erik, it is more or less the same thing, I dislike him because I’d like him to complain to me or to make real what I lived, recognize that it was difficult, that he join with me in my suffering !)

Daniel spent the whole end of the day with me, playing, showing me his books, telling me stories, half English half Spanish. And he taught me to speak a lot Spanish, he was great, I love him... He is nine and he already speaks English so well, a little French and Jamaican too, crazy! My heart was wide open and I had some very good moments. In the evening I went to bed because my bus was at 6:30. But I felt so much love and light in me that I wasn’t really tired, so I got up and spoke with Nubia, who was so content. She talked to me about her life and her unwavering faith in God and that one day, when she was living in San Jose, she decided to say yes to God, from her heart and to leave everything and everything was offered her... mmmh, thank you...

I also realized with her how much I see rage against men in her, I see her wanting to be so strong, independent, who doesn’t need anyone, very angry against her husband who prefers to be with his friends and I told myself I have to learn, so I listened carefully. I also perceived her great devotion to God and she taught me a lot through her sharing. I learned a lot about me watching my thoughts. I went to bed thanking her for sharing so richly with me. She was so happy that I listened to her because she said no one ever listens to her! Ah HS, you do things so well.



Saturday 20

Once on the bus after all the experiences of the day (listed in the following article "Big Forgiveness Lesson"), I also continued to watch and forgive my beliefs in relation to Erik and to myself. I again felt a bit fearful of losing him, that the Holy Spirit would take him from me. I then wrote and saw how attached it was to my story with my son; I had prayed to God that He not take him, and yet he died. I think since that day I have been angry with God and that's why I defy Him non stop, I want to take back the power. I am so afraid that He’ll take Erik too, so I cling so much more. Because He already did it, he could do it again. He showed me that He is strong and so I want to show Him that I'm stronger and that He won’t win. But all that gets me is to live in fear and other similar emotions, certainly not peace, because I am always fighting.

I also saw what I consider to be a communication problem between me and Erik, that shows itself even more while I'm away. And I looked at what it would be like if there was no problem... If the way we communicated, which I judge not the best, or not doing what I feel it should, given what I was experiencing and given the scale of belief-undoing I was going through, what would happen if it was ok? And so I watched all the beliefs that were hiding underneath and all the ramifications of those beliefs! Wonderful.

I feel better already much better... and yet a profound sadness remained. I note that I judge myself for living all these experiences, so I'm sad.

At one point I looked at all of it, and said to myself "Stop !!!!!!!!! This is enough. I’m done complaining, judging myself, marking myself a victim of everything"

I then made another choice, making new decisions:

The first is that death does not bring me any comfort, no escape from what I seem to live, no resolution to this malaise. And so I choose to delete this alternative from my list when I feel I’m bad, to shut the door to this possibility and to choose Life.

Then I remembered that Caroline told me... the power to say "yes" to one’s fears, so I did. I said yes to my fear of men, yes to my fear of being used as an object, yes to the fear of losing Erik. I looked at what the consequences in my life might be, and I then realized that I had already had this feeling that I would be nothing without my companion, and yet the last time it was a huge boost in my life, and that's that's how I got to where I am now. so I could be without him, everything would be ok, so I said yes to my fear of losing him, my fear that he had an affair with someone else, it will be another opportunity for forgiveness. For if it shows up it will be there because I asked for it, because I called forth this experience in my life.

Then I said yes to Love, yes to Light, yes to God. I recognized that He is not the one I’m trying make Him, and that He is really loving and that I have opened the door of my heart to Him ...

It was wonderful.

Fébruary 22

I realized that there is no one oustide me, there is only one relationship, and it is with God. others are just images that I am making for my healing, for seeing my beliefs, for I've asked my Brothers to play those parts for me, to be able to release it and forgive, and remember Who We Are...
I can see that beyond all those fear with Erik, Erik is just a covert, for it is really the fear in losing my little self in God, in the light that we are. It's like if grasping to the specialness of that relationship is keeping me existing still a bit, as I've always been. for everything that I am reliving is really the past, and I just keep grasping to the past and to what I've told myself all those years. So now, there is a real choice to take......... Do I really want to know that we are One, that we are not separated, or do I still want to keep my little identity, false, an illusion of existence?

I want to be free, and I want to free my Brother... I want to know the Oneness, and see all those ego traps for what they are... nothing, traps, illusions, just to make the stroy going on!!!!

I feel being at that point where I want to remember again and again, that the ego doesn't exist, it's just a decision in the mind, and so that there is no choice (as David says in his book "Purpose is my only choice")... so I choose to live Love or a call for love, and I choose to extend God's gifts or I live a forgiveness lesson... Guilt doesn't exist!!! There is no point in feeling guilty for anything, neither analyzing everything, nor judging me for what I seem to live or not, the form doesn't matter. it's just a tool...

With Love and Gratitude to all my Brothers on this wonderful journey back to Self, to Oneness

I See Us,
Armelle

thanks Andy for translation