Last night, Armelle got into an argumentative discussion about our relationship, and I was mostly feeling that she was just "in her stuff" and unable to see clearly. I felt like she was coming totally from her ego and being attacking towards me. At one point she sort of shut me out and put on her headphones, so I had some time to reflect on the discussion and see it differently. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me see it all differently, and I began writing in my journal the insights the came to me. Afterwards, I felt waves of peace beginning to come over me, and I laid down to go to sleep. Shortly thereafter, as if my peace had extended outward, Armelle put her arms around me and it was as if the argument had never happened. It's so great to see how this stuff can work! :-)
Anyway, here's what I wrote in my journal that helped me come to the clarity and peace...
If Armelle is getting upset with me for any reason, then it is really that I am doing it to myself. It is really just that I am still choosing to make attack real in my mind and then see an external symbol of that. But in the moment when I perceive the attack, if I am willing to question the interpretation of what I’m seeing an attack, and become willing to recognize the Infinite Love that is Everywhere which renders the images of the world and the bodies as meaningless, then I will no longer be focusing on the image-concept of an angry body. If I’m no longer interested in that idea, I won’t see it anymore. It’s just like when I became disinterested in watching TV; I just don’t see it anymore. It may even appear that a body is still shouting at me or even being vicious, but rather than getting hypnotized and zooming in on that one, tiny image, and giving it a special meaning (ie. “She is getting upset with me. She should be taking it back to herself, etc..”), I instead will be aware of the Whole which has no parts. This will completely transform the way that the images are perceived, for they will be seen as nothing more than a thin veil which tried to cover the Face of Christ. The Face of Christ will shine through the veil now because it is what I’m asking for, being that I have given up interest in specialness of any kind.
The more I remember all of this, and practice it, the more I see the miracle happening, which is nothing more than a complete shift in perception for me. The seemingly “other” person usually feels it too and "flips" into a witness for peace at some point, although maybe not immediately. But usually far more quickly than if had I “fed the fire” of the ego by still perceiving the ego as real in them and something I needed to get rid of.
Ultimately, I wish to see that everyone is already enlightened. And that is actually the Truth that is, outside of the illusion of time and space. Everyone is already enlightened and always has been. It was only MY illusory dream and my erroneous interpretations within that dream that made it seem otherwise.
So I think I'll practice remembering that now. There's no one outside of me. Only God is real, and there is no other power or reality or Will than God's.
-Erik
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