Going on Holy Spirit autopilot

There's such a wonderful shift happening in me and I feel so blessed! A sense of total Peace which truly does "passeth all understanding"...

I'm in Canada right now with Armelle, staying at our friend Sandy Deby's house in Cowichan Bay on Vancouver Island, and I'm deeply at peace right now. It's just amazing to see how this "fairy-tale-like dream" of mine continues unfolding so effortlessly and joyfully, always reminding me that I'm TOTALLY taken care of!

We had our first "Practicing Holy Relationship" gathering last night here at Sandy's house and it was such a beautiful example of how everything can unfold without effort when we "step back and let Spirit lead the way". There were about 10 or so people at the gathering, and it felt like such a deep experience of joining in the Truth.

Armelle and I shared from our hearts many of our experiences these past 15 months (yesterday was our 15 month anniversary!) including how we were Guided to get married, many of the lessons we've had to learn since then, and the way we are using this relationship for healing. I also shared a couple of the songs that came through me last year after being guided to let go of my hypnotherapy career in order to devote my life to music and God. It was very powerful for me to watch how everything seemed to just flow through both of us so easily, and how everyone seemed so genuinely moved, touched, and inspired by all that we shared.

Before the gathering, I had been feeling some nervousness about whether I would do a "good job" of letting myself be used by the Spirit without getting in my own way. I've been getting better at noticing when I am sometimes speaking out of a hidden fear of "awkward silences", and learning to surrender to the Silence and simply let it be instead of trying to cover it over. And during the gathering, there were definitely lots of silent moments to practice with! During those silences, it's like my ego starts to project it's fear onto others and convince me that they are feeling uncomfortable with the silence. But really, I'm learning, since it's all my dream, it's just another opportunity for me to realize that there isn't anyone else "out there"; they are all simply mirroring my own unfounded fear, and giving me the opportunity to surrender into trust once again.

So the whole experience was definitely another wonderful step in deepening my trust in the Spirit, which I'm realizing is what EVERY moment is for now! It was another step in undoing the belief that gatherings are a "special circumstance" that I have to plan for or organize or facilitate. I'm learning to trust that I truly need not plan or organize ANYTHING... and that when I'm supposed to speak or do something, it will simply happen THROUGH me automatically and with a feeling of Inspiration rather than obligation. EVERYTHING, including even the words to speak and the actions to take, are just Given...

It's like being on Holy Spirit autopilot! I even noticed that, during the gathering as I was surrendering deeper and deeper, that my head was automatically being turned FOR me! As people were sharing or asking questions, I was noticing my head starting to turn automatically towards whomever was speaking without any sense of being the one doing it. This experience was allowing me to totally let go of the belief that "I need to be polite by looking at whoever is speaking" and just trust that the Spirit would turn my head and keep my eyes open for me if that was would be most Helpful. I'm also finding that I don't even have to concentrate on or understand the words that are being spoken. I can just let my mind totally relax and listen to the Silence beyond what is being said, and if a response is appropriate, the words will just automatically come out of my mouth. It can all happen without any idea of what I'm going to say in advance, and it's such a sense of ease and relaxation!

This state seems to be becoming much more consistent now, transferring to all the various types of "situations" that seem to arise. As I allow my mind to relax into the Emptiness more and more of the time, unlearning everything from the past, there's a trust arising which tells me that I never need to have a clue about anything ever again! I can just watch my life as if it were a movie, with no sense of attachment or investment, knowing that in reality, it doesn't mean anything.

There is less and less concern about money, about the future, about how this whole adventure called "Erik and Armelle's life" will unfold... there's just Peace. I know it's all been scripted by the part of my mind that Loves me unconditionally and has the sole intention of waking me up to Reality in the most loving, gentle, beautiful, and joyous way possible!

In Gratitude that is continuously expanding...
Erik