Game with consciousness (add to previous post)

I had just taken a shower when I felt a strong desire to call Erik, but I had no real reason, so I did not want to do it, because I was imagining not get news from him, that he did not care. Then I started to feel sad, thinking about what I had written above about how I see the ego functioning. And I wanted to share it with him, but at the same time, I was embarrassed because it concerns him and that I seem to have a very big attachment to "him" and it bothers me. And, as he told me, it is actually my personality that has an attachment to anything else, and I seem to be wanting it existing still. So I planned to talk with Suzanne. Then I asked Holy Spirit to show me clearly what to do... and Erik called me, it was magic.

I told him about all this and during our conversation, I realized that in fact the ego is very vicious, here also, because I was certainly guided to contact him and I started to feel embarrassed because I had nothing special to share and that obviously I should have something to tell him in order to call. And that's how the ego works, I have guidance and then a thought "Oh that must be ego" comes, and it is precisely the ego. For, once thinking occurred, I was back into the Armelle story.
Then I began to feel sad over all that I was clearly discovering about my special relationship with him, so I wanted to tell him, but I felt bad speaking personally about it to him, then it was like I became sad because I do not have a good reason to talk to him, but I feel joining with him, and by playing this game he would pay attention to me or take care of me! But actually I'm doing really well, everything is going perfectly!!
Our sharings are becoming richer and deeper and it's wonderful to see how both of us are coming together to go still further and feel how love burns even in the silences...

And obviously, that's what the ego wants to avoid; it doesn’t want there to be intimacy, truth, too much contact, or honesty, because in the real encounter with my brother, it disappears little by little, because it is its "death" that’s occurring, or at least its absence, reflecting that it doesn’t exist.

So I expose again and again, all these thoughts that are it, but not who I am, because I want to really know my Self and recognize that ultimately it never existed and all that is a big game... which I continue to play with consciousness...

I love you so much all my Brothers in the heart of Christ, that We are...
Armelle