I just had spoken during for one hour with Erik, it was wonderful. We had discussed about the fact he has some fears about not finishing his taxes on time, for Monday, to come and join me here in Costa Rica, and about his feelings every time he has to take care of that. I told it was the perfect opportunity to watch his thoughts and beliefs that are in the way for doing it joyfully, and we came to the authority problem. Wonderful! Later, at the end of the conversation, he talked about his projects for the next days, and I started to feel some emotions coming up. I was strongly feeling rejected of all those events. I could see how the fact of having taking this plane and having gone to the States without being assured that I could come in during the immigration process, had a cost that I was paying. It was the first thought. And then, that it was making me working a lot on my beliefs. I heard the HS telling me that the rejection doesn't exist. Then I didn't want to talk for I could see the temptation to blame Erik, and shared it with him, because he had told me he had some fears of not having time to finish his taxes this week, and he had planned a lot of other things to do... and he was telling me that now, at the end of the convesation, when we were ready to hang up. I stayed silent for a while, letting be what was there, not knowing what it was reflecting for me. I felt there was a consciousness of what was, but it wasn't really clear, yet. Finally, I hung up. That was what I felt the most.
I was preparing my lunch, and suddenly, I saw everything so clearly. And i felt I was guided to share with Erik the ego game I was seeing, or the HS was showing me, for I wasn't really aware at first. So I wrote him, very clearly all what was coming. I was feeling it wasn't coming from me, and still I wanted to stay carefull, taking the full responsibility of my sharing and that I was completely open to be wrong, being still a bit attached to the fact that I was the one seemingly having emotions coming up. But I still did it, I was feeling so strongly I was pushed to do it. And I told everything, and I was feeling so much at peace, even joyful, very light.
I still questionned all that afterwards, because I was thinking I wasn't really objective to say all that, as I had felt that strong emotion with his sharing. So I went in my room, lay down on the bed, and listened to a part of a David's talk. And one moment, everything just came to me, like that. No, I didn't have any anger. No, I wasn't feeling any fear of beinf rejected, not being loved, or whatever, no fear. And no, I didn't have any doubt about what I had shared, nor on the fact that I was guided to do so.
Nothing, nothing of all that. I was so joyful, so happy. I've done it, yeah. I could do it. I could speak up, without any doubt, without judging me, without any guilt... All those strong emotions of those last days, of those last weeks for that, to finally feeling free to speak up, to follow my guidance, and being simply true to myself... It's happiness. I am so happy. I feel it's burning in me...
I feel writing also my experience with the fear of this morning.
A huge step has been taken, a giant step!
I don't have any fear, for now, I don't have any. I don't have any anymore;
I just See...
I love you so much dear Brother... this path is so wonderful
Armelle
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